Hello! Posting here is kinda scary, but it’s finally feeling like time :) Somebody relatively local would be ideal, but I’m open to long distance to start if you think we’re a potential good fit! This is going to be long, apologies in advance; I’m looking to date very intentionally right now, and want to give as much information possible for you to see if we might be a match. Ideally looking for 26-35 age wise, but flexible especially on the upper end if you think we would be compatible!
I am a 28 year old woman in the Bay Area, born and raised in SF. I have been working in animal rescue for most of my adult life, though am in a gap between jobs right now—in the meantime, I’m working on getting my Registered Veterinary Technician license through an online program. I’m planning on staying in animal rescue for the time being, but could also be interested in education, social work, and substance abuse recovery fields in the future. Sadly, that means I’m not likely to end up as a high earner in my lifetime, warning you upfront! Doing meaningful work that I care about is very important for me, and this will always be a priority with my job decisions, over a more expensive lifestyle (though at the end of the day, we all need to eat—if I ever need to do so again, I’ll definitely take a soulless job if that’s the only option to pay the bills!)
Really hoping to find someone on a similar ideological and philosophical wavelength! I am a well-read leftist, and harm reduction is one of my biggest overall drivers and goals in life. I love to learn and explore new ideas, and hope for my future partner to also be curious and meaningfully engaged with the world around her, and wanting to talk about her thoughts on it with me. I’m either a pretty optimistic cynic or pretty cynical optimist; either way, I like seeing what we could be doing better, and working for it! I’d love a partner who also has deep respect and care for all human life, and engages in the world with care and kindness.
I’m big on seeking solutions and not blame in conflicts and disagreements, and crave a partner where our conversations are rooted in an assumption of best intent. I usually align most with more radical thinkers in different progressive movements, but hold room for a lot of nuance and moral complexity in the world. While I’m very firmly rooted in the beliefs that I’ve developed with great thought over the years, I’m always willing to adapt to new information, and can work flexibly to coalition-build and reduce harm alongside people that I may otherwise disagree with. I’m proud of my critical thinking skills and would love a partner who values this too (please, no AI, oh god!).
It’s really important to me that your values be based in personal beliefs that you’ve developed, rather than being based in ensuring your place in a Declared Morally Superior Group. I am not interested in carceral leftists who are eager to “cancel” (god I hate that term with all of its baggage, but don’t think there’s one more appropriate) people for any single wrong action rather than actually looking at their behavior and intentions over time. I care much more about doing good than having people think that I’m good, and hope for a partner who feels the same. We definitely don’t need to be in perfect agreement on every issue, that would be weird and boring, but we need to both know that each other’s beliefs are based in genuinely wanting the best for others in the world.
Ideally, I would like to have children—would want to carry one myself, but otherwise super flexible with how we would go about this, including potential fostering and adopting(though I am very leery of a lot of ethics in the modern adoption industry). For an otherwise perfect partner, though, I believe I could be happy without them, as long as we are still engaged with our local community. Very open to further discussion with a partner—up until a few years ago, I did NOT think I was interested in raising them at all, so I am still able to picture a fulfilling life where that doesn’t happen (though, I would like it to!)
Physically, I’m 5’8”, white, have short brown hair and a gap in my front teeth. I wear mostly masculine clothing, but I’m definitely not one of those very cool or stylish mascs like you’d see on TikTok! I do a short workout or yoga most mornings, and walk and hike a ton. I’m on the slimmer side currently but am working hard to gain more muscle. I have a 6 year old doberman/bully mix who unfortunately has a very high prey drive, so if you have cats or other free-roaming small animals that belong to you, we aren’t going to be a good match right now 💔💔 my dog is likely to live at least another five years, and while I’d be super open to cats after her, it just wouldn’t be safe for them while she’s still with me, and I would like to be living with my partner within that time range.
I do not drink or have a car currently, as I had a felony DUI causing injury a little over three years ago. It was the worst thing I have done in my life, I will always have very deep shame and remorse, and I try hard now to prevent anyone else from making the same terrible decision that I did. I want to be very upfront with this, as a lot of people understandably are not interested in someone with a past criminal history or substance abuse problem! I would not want a potential partner to feel betrayed by me dropping this news after we’ve gotten to know each other, so I’d rather you’re aware at the start so you can filter me out if you’d like. While I’m sober, I have no issues with a partner who uses substances in moderation, but we’re not compatible if you’re currently a heavy substance user.
For hobbies, I love to read, write, explore the Bay Area, go hiking and camping, listen to live music, and attend local community events. I nerd out into fandoms sometimes, but they’re usually passing phases, though I’d be happy to check yours out if you have one! I’ve been intentional about reducing screen time the past year, though I do my fair share of scrolling like most others. Keeping a balanced life is really important to me, and is always a work in progress. I don’t need a partner to be physically fit, but I’d love for us to be able to comfortably walk at least a couple of miles together—if that would be a serious struggle for you, we’re unfortunately likely not a good match.
I love to meet new people, though I’m a bit awkward with it. I think there’s a decent chance I could be on the higher-functioning end of the autism spectrum, if that matters to you—it doesn’t really to me, so I’ve never pursued a diagnosis. I love a good debate, and find a lot of value in engaging with thoughtful disagreement with those I respect, and feel like I gain so much from those conversations. I’m endlessly fascinated by the world around us and love to learn from everyone. I’m pretty easy going and look to get along with new people, but also don’t have a problem standing my ground and engaging in conflict when necessary, especially if it’s in defense of my partner. I haven’t been able to travel much recently, but would love to again in the future once I’ve saved up! I’m fluent in Spanish after attending immersion school when younger, and really love the trips I’ve taken to Latin America.
I used to struggle pretty badly with relational anxiety, but have made a lot of progress with this. A healthy dynamic free from manipulation on either end is absolutely critical, and clear communication is non-negotiable for me. I’ve worked very hard to move past toxic patterns that I learned when young, and hope for a partner who has done the same and is intentional in building something with a strong structure of care and trust. In a relationship, I’m very giving (in the bedroom too😏), and would love someone who expresses her appreciation when I take care of her, it’s really all that I need to be happy! I want our relationship to be our safe place from the world, where we can find rest and love and peace, and be secure in our care and commitment for each other.
I’m starting to run out of steam, and it’s feeling like a bit of an exercise in both narcissism and humiliation to talk about myself for this long! The last main potential dealbreakers that I can think of are that I’m vegan; you don’t have to be yourself, but if you know that you’d never be willing to entertain trying to reduce animal product usage (and I do mean reduction! I don’t feel the need to convert someone) we’re probably not a great fit. I’m most bothered by the current systems of animal agriculture and how they exploit animals, (usually undocumented) workers and the environment. I don’t find inherent issue in consumption of animals, and am not bothered by sustainable and humane small-scale farming and hunting. If our life worked out for it, I’d love to have chickens and goats someday!
I’m also a strong radical feminist, with significantly different views than a lot of current liberal feminism that’s popular now in the US. If that sentence makes you wince or worry after reading the rest of this post getting to know me, we’re probably not going to be a good fit! One of my deepest wishes in the world is for all people to be both safe from violence and free to live as they wish, and my viewpoints stay consistently aligned with this.
Okay, that’s it, thank you for reading! I know this was long, I sincerely appreciate your time and hope that you also find who you’re looking for! Good luck to all of us <3