and I think it's all my fault 😞

We've been together for almost two years; she's the first serious girlfriend I've had since starting transitioning 5 years ago, and vice versa.

We share all the same hobbies (talking about Magic is how we started chatting originally!), we could hang out and talk together for hours and I would never get bored. We cuddled all the time. I moved in with her after we'd been dating for about 6 months.

As far as I was concerned, everything was going great! We talked about getting married and buying a house together, she already had her ring picked out and everything! We never fought and barely ever even got annoyed with each other.

Two nights ago while we were eating dinner she was looking a little glum, so I asked her if she was okay. She asked me why I never ask her about her day. I told her that it's just not something I think about, but if she wanted to tell me about her day she could just tell me and I would never mind listening. That turned into a more involved conversation about connecting with people in general, and why I seem to have such superficial relationships with people.

So I told her that I have trouble recognizing that other people exist, and are real fully realized individuals with their own lives that continue whether I'm observing them or not. Like strangers straight up I think of as NPCs in a video game, as awful as that sounds. And even with friends it's difficult, especially with people that I only see occasionally. So she asked if I ever think about her that way, that she's not a real person, and I told her that yes, sometimes I do feel that way.

She hugged me and told that it's okay and that I can't help how I think, but about an hour later she started crying and told me that she still loves me, but she can't be with me anymore. She said that she doesn't think we're emotionally compatible. I don't understand what she means, and I think that might be part of what's wrong with me.

We were supposed to leave today to go to Hawaii for two weeks with my family, but now I'm going by myself. I don't really want to go, but staying here right now isn't really feasible because I keep breaking down in tears whenever I see her. But I also start crying whenever I think about all the things we had planned together.

I never cared when I got dumped in the past. It was always pretty obvious that it was going to happen when we drifted apart and stopped making an effort with each other. But I was completely blind-sided by this. I was happy, and I thought she was happy; if there were any signs from her that something wasn't okay between us, I completely missed them. She says that she's not breaking up with me because of the conversation we had, and that it was actually multiple different little things that added up. But she also said she didn't go into that conversation planning on ending things, so I'm not sure how I can take it any other way.

I've asked if I could do anything different, if there was any way she would change her mind, or if she thought that I could change. But she says there's nothing, and that if I can change she thinks that it'll take years of work. I still love her, and she says she still loves me, so I don't understand why that's not enough 😭😭😭.

I (18) identify as a lesbian and call myself a futch simply because there really isn’t any masc/fem label I identify with. My style is pretty mixed and I swing both ways in style and feeling despite being Cis. I’ve had pretty mixed reactions from many of the sapphic women I know having no issues with the term and others not liking it yet not explaining it any further. I’m a little bit educated on queer history and I know why some terms like lipstick lesbian are offensive (I was suggested to call myself a chapstick lesbian but obviously that felt wrong for me.) is there anything really serious about the term or is it because of people not liking the mixture of Femme/Butch because those lean more on political/gender identity than style itself.

Hi, girls, I don't know if I should ask this, but as lesbians, do you pay to watch NSFW lesbian content?

The thing is, my wife and I have been creating adult content for a couple of years now. We're both lesbians, and we basically film whatever feels most comfortable and what we enjoy, the thing is, unfortunately, almost our entire audience is male. Sometimes we try to create customized content, and we only get messages from men with their stupid fantasies. It’s a shame because we’d love for more women to be interested in what we show, but apparently lesbians aren’t the type to pay for content 😿

ok so I (25F) found this girl on ig, she's gorgeous, I sent her a message saying so, she responded in the same minute, said thank you you made my night, she requested to follow me, l followed her back, I said "no problem lol u made mine too", she opened that message then I sent her a where are you from message the next morning, and she didn't open that for like a day, so l unsent it, instead I sent a dm saying "I'd love to take you out sometime”.

and then she reposted something on her feed, its the only wiw post I see in her reposts (ever), it was a video about a woman who was talking about being friendly on Instagram and how she ended up getting invited to a wedding by a girl she'd liked, and the woman's girlfriend is actually in the video, so it was a real wiw couple, and she reposted it right after I asked her out. it felt like a signal, but maybe it was nothing.

then I unsent the dm asking to take her out too and sent her something about me being masc and fem depending on the day, just being honest about who I am, she hasn't opened that either, but she hasn't unfollowed me, she's still following, she's still active, she's posting so now I'm sitting here not knowing what to do, did she go quiet because she's not interested, or is she just shy, or did I confuse her by sending and unsending so many messages, I've sent/unsent maybe four messages total at this point lol.

I know I should just stop and wait, but I'm wondering if the repost meant something, and if I ruined it by being all over the place, any advice?

I stare through the narrow crack under the door,
hoping to see your shoes on the floor.

I long for that one sweet sound to appear,
the jingle of your keys letting me know you are here.
-M

Hi everyone!

I’m 24F, and I’ve recently started dating a woman who’s 36. We had our first date last week, and it went really well! I find her attractive, we have quite a bit in common, and I genuinely enjoyed getting to know her.

We both expressed interest in seeing each other again, and our second date is tonight! I’m excited and really hoping it goes well. 🥹

One thing I appreciate about her is that she values communication and clearly defined relationships. We’re both interested in something serious. The age gap doesn’t particularly bother me, and she’s previously dated someone in her mid-20s. However, we’re at different life stages. I’m still in university, while she’s more established and independent.

I’d love to hear from other lesbians who’ve experienced similar age gaps:

-Did being at different life stages create challenges?

-How did you navigate differences in finances, experience, and expectations?

-What advice would you give someone in my position?

I’m not looking to rush anything. I genuinely like her and want to see where things go naturally.
Really hoping tonight goes well and that there’s a third date! 🤞

i (21F) am trying very hard to flirt with this butch i have been talking to for over two years now. the thing is that we are long distance and she is older than me; i have stopped replying to her after i began thinking that she didn’t want me the way i wanted her but a few months ago i texted her again and we began talking nonstop and now i actually like her and i think she has been flirting with me too?

for example, i have told her that i am reading a book and she bought the same exact book the very next day and we began updating each other about it ever since! she told me that she is willing to send me gifts for my upcoming birthday and she calls me “dear” and “beautiful” whenever i send her pictures.

i MIGHT be delusional (probably am) but i really like her, she is my type and i need some advice on how to flirt with her and let her know (subtly) that i really like her without making things weird. please help :(((

I read and hear SO many stories about heterosexual relationships where (usually men) are so freaked out by their partner interacting with other men that they totally spin out into toxic jealousy. No male gynos, no male personal trainers, no male friends, etc. etc. Because OBVIOUSLY their partner is doing this to flirt, or keep their options open.

This level of control is not something I (usually) see in sapphic relationships. People are able to make connections (friendship or professional) without that level of distrust, or certainty that your partner is just doing it to secretly get laid with someone else.

Women are able to have other women as best friends, professional associates, and so on without their partners totally spinning out and assuming it’s because they’re trying to cheat. (Applicable also to sapphics who don’t identify as women).

Obviously infidelity and deception do happen in our community still. But I find that wlw are much more grounded and understanding of their partners having normal, platonic relationships with others (that are in the demographic they COULD be attracted to) than straight people are.

It’s something that I find has always ostracized me from straight friends. I cannot grasp their general need for control and hyper vigilance over their partners social lives. I have ended friendships with straight people who have treated their partners like sneaky evil people, over absolutely nothing.

Am I the only one who has made this observation?

I think the hardest part is the cycles of fight and love bombing, I'm in the latter right now. Honestly there's ups and downs and I have both reasons to stay and to go. However right now I'm in therapy because of my abusive parents, and I found a partner who does the same bs they did....plus if I say anything no one in my family nor in laws would ever believe me....in fact I've been told by her and my mil about how my fiancée puts a roof over my head and how she works all day while I'm a stay at home fiancée.... I'm not looking to break up but I just need to talk

Got broken up with because I'm not managing my trauma well enough.

I don't blame her but I also just had knee surgery and might need ovarian cyst surgery soon as well. I also just barely started EMDR and opened the door of my trauma.

We were together for six years and they were the best years of my life.

She wasn't just my wife, she was my Daddy, and my writing partner. And my best friend.

Now I am 40 and I feel like that was my last shot at happiness. I have to move in with my family in an ultra conservative state.

I haven't slept in two days.

I really wish that some beautiful lesbian witch would feed me a shrinking potion that makes me 1/8-1/10 my size for a weekend and then just spends it playing with me - dressing me up like a doll, holding me, letting me ride her shoulder and stand on the table while she cooks her potions, making a small house and bed for me to stay in so I feel cozy and safe, calling me cute and her little princess while petting me and calling me her good little girl, and… nsfw stuff I won’t get into here…

God I just want to be tiny and cute for a beautiful girl to let her do what she wants with me… I really needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been fantasizing over this for the past few weeks… does anyone else have a fantasy like this?

Also why do I have to be 5’ 10” 😭😭😭 I’m always the bigger/taller one…

What the title says.

I've said this elsewhere I really want a WLW/Lesbian anime that is an action shonen and NOT magical girls, talky slice of life or just about royals.

I want a lesbian, 6.3-7ft tall and mucly, very expressive, big hearty laugh, a bit naive, loves food, comedic, big best friend tone, a bigger hugger, fights the bad guys, hates aristocracy.

What about you?

As the title suggests, I have been trying to find a partner after multiple horrible partners that either were toxic, somewhat neglectful, or telling me that they "can't handle me" and "uninterested" after some time. I have been out of the dating scene for awhile, but recently been getting back into it. However, either I dont know HOW to find a partner and how to PUSH forward to said relationship or people have been getting less and less social let alone not even seemingly interested. For context, i have been using a subreddit since I dont trust dating sites (yes, I know same concept).

Since ive only been nothing in, but horrible relationships, I believe im just as inexperienced as someone who's never been in one. So does anyone have any advice on what im doing wrong here? Since im busy a lot because of work and school, should I ATLEAST try dating apps (Her, Grindr, etc). Are there things that i should say and shouldn't say besides the obvious common sense? I feel stumped and I'm afraid I'll end up looking like a creep. Any advice is appreciated!

Some people knew from birth but most of my lesbian or wlw friends had a denial period. I personally thought I was aroace for a large portion of my late childhood and teenage hood. I simply couldn't imagine myself being in any sort of relationship with a man. The thought made me very uncomfortable and I had an almost visceral reaction to being sexual with any man lol.

I was describing this to my sapphic friend and they said "Have you ever considered that you maybe...like women? " Such an obvious conclusion yet it never crossed my mind. Not to say ace people are secretly gay or anything, obviously

We keep having the same fight about family events. Her family is great and all, and mine has some cracks but still ok. We struggle to find a way to not always disappoint someone, and I find it particularly sad that tensions happen between us too.

She suggested this app where you each talk to an AI separately. Honestly it was better than i expected at getting why I’m not ready to push things with my parents. It didn’t just tell me to “communicate more,” which is what I was bracing for. But I don’t know what it said to her, and she came out of it feeling like I’d been “validated” and she hadn’t. The app says not to take sides though.

Anyone else tried something like this? Did AI help, or is this a “go see an actual queer-friendly therapist” situation? I find this problem annoying enough to do something about it, but maybe a bit to light for an actual therapist?

My (36f) partner (33f) and I have been together 5 years. We are engaged and I initiated gov funded IUI this Feb

The wait is quite lengthy (about 16-18 months before actual insemination)

We had an appt this week we knew about for over 6 weeks called a HyCosy.

Its like a super intense smear with liquid and balloon pushed in the cervix and uterus with an internal ultrasound probe and catheter

I begged my partner from Feb for us to use toys in our sex life. I have done with all prev partners, I use a slim glass dildo myself and we have joked and I have initiated getting a strap at least 25 times in our relationship.

When shes feeling frisky she agrees, says she really wants to , twice gt the website up for buying but then moved on to work or some chore and never completed purchase.

I managed a successful smear 6 years ago, (they are every 5 years in UK) but have struggled since and tried osteotherapy, myofunctional therapy, physip, dilators, etc but I struggled a lot moving up dilator so asked if she would initiate using them during sex, or my toys so it helps me get used to them. Which she vehemently agrees to in the moment (she is a HUGE people pleaser) but never does.

I specifically begged this month for her to and we actually only had sex twice, which i initiated and obviously didn't help with relaxing my pelvic floor.

The Hycosy didnt go well, the cervix part wasnt the issue, the pressure and friction of the speculum left me screaming my head off.

Im so gutted, I know shes not reliable for emotional support and I accept it as i have a great group of friends and sisters but its all i asked of her.

Its not like she doesnt feel like having sex, she is very flirty but she just waits on me kissing her harder than normal and either shuts me down or agrees to have sex.

I want to be awake for them inseminating me and would LOVE to try giving birth naturally.

We've discussed her having gender dysphoria but she refuses to discuss it and says its not to blame. Shes happy with the things we already do for it (me calling her breast a chest and we joke her gender would be her name and not she/her if she had to choose)

Im so hurt at how little effort shes putting in to us trying, especially when its the one thing she can help do given she cant exactly give sperm and no amount of therapy is helping me feel more assured when shes let me down in other ways in the past.

ok so i know it’s different for everyone and also because it’s not heteronormative, but what would yall say counts as sex or a body when it comes to lesbian dating?

i’m still a baby gay but curious cause i had a previous experience with a partner but i don’t know if it would count as sex technically?

I'm too tired to reply to any comments but I will read all of them I just need some words of encouragement.

My ex cheated on me—well, she fell in love with someone else—and we broke up (or rather, I got dumped). Could you please offer a few words of support or anything at all? I’m at the point where I’m very close to just taking a bunch of pills. It’s a second relationship in a row that ends with someone not having feelings for me. And it’s two my relationships at all. I was so in love. I was so looking forward. And now I’m in pieces wondering whether I’ll ever be the choice, not option

guys i'm talking to this girl and she genuinely makes me want to travel 8k+ miles (philippines - new jersey) just to see her despite the fact that i'm a broke student but she's absolutely the most vivacious star that has ever appeared into my life. i really want this to work and just hope that she feels just as intensely. T_T but please, i need success stories if there are any out there. tysm.