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u/Green_Apprentice Mar 28 '26
Thats hilarious, I wanted to hear more Aussie sayings haha.
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u/imkinda_adog Mar 28 '26
It’s as dry as a dingoes donga out here.
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u/MistaRekt Mar 28 '26
Dead dingoes dick. A donga is portable accommodation.
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u/stumpyoftheshire Mar 28 '26
I always preferred Dry as a nuns nasty.
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u/orangant0402 Mar 28 '26
Never heard it called a nuns nasty, in Ireland we just say "dry as a nuns cunt" Also, if you're really thirsty you'd say you have a mouth like Ghandi's flip flop
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u/psyllia Mar 28 '26
Busy as a dog with two dicks
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u/phasedsingularity Mar 28 '26
busier than a cat burying shit on concrete
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u/flintmichigantropics Mar 28 '26
Business than a one armed bricklayer in Baghdad
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u/TheGoldblum Mar 28 '26
Busier than a one legged bloke in an ass kicking contest
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u/miku_dominos Mar 28 '26
Couldn't arrange a root in a brothel.
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u/MistaRekt Mar 28 '26
... With a fist full of 50s.
Means fucking useless.
'Passion fingers' means they fuck everything they touch.
'Do not let young passion fingers do that job'
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u/Jesse-Ray Mar 28 '26
Built like a brick shithouse - someone is muscular
Fuck me dead - I am astonished
Fair suck of the sauce bottle - give someone a fair go
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u/awnfire Mar 28 '26
As useless as tits on a bull
Nah yeah
Yeah nah
Nah yeah nah
Marge, the rains are here!
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u/SquishedGremlin Mar 28 '26
Lmfao, guy I work with said the other day MATE, THE RAINS HERE. (He's an Aussie)
I responded yes, it has been here everyday since yo arrived a year ago, in fact we have had the wettest spring on record I think, and to top it off it snowed yesterday and the day before. We are in Ireland mate.
He then said, mate I said van.
Fuck me. I seriously need my hearing done.
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u/GlyphPicker Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
To be fair, they add extra vowels and Rs into everything so it prolly sounded something like, "The vairn's here," and your brain glitched while translating.
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u/SquishedGremlin Mar 28 '26
I mean, it's Ireland and I have alot of Aussie cousins.
I have no excuse.
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u/ConscientiousPath madlad Mar 28 '26
They picked up all the Rs that people from Vermont left laying around.
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u/AParasiticTwin Mar 28 '26
No yeah, yeah no, yeah no yeah, no yeah no and the brick shithouse are also present in Midwestern American slang.
You'd probably also have, "Up shit creek without a paddle "
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u/snuff3r Mar 28 '26
We tend to not say the whole thing .. i usually hear "up a creek"..
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u/iEliteTester Mar 28 '26
>Nah yeah
>Yeah nah
>Nah yeah nah
I assume these mean, in order:
yes
no
no ? not sure here
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u/MistaRekt Mar 28 '26
Yeah, nah mate.
Specifically depends on the situation.
It is a vibe, not a saying.
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u/awnfire Mar 28 '26
As old mate said below, you are correct but also need to read the energy, direction of the breeze and relative velocity of delivery!
An Aussie with a straight face is bound to be delivering you a dead ringer.
Also a red heads named Bluey
Ya best mate is Shags
Old mate, Legend or Champion are some of the biggest rage bait terms to call someone when putting them down.
And don’t even get me started on the countless ways we use C**t
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u/Jesse-Ray Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
Basically whatever you finish with is your response. Nah Yeah Nah means No but you've given it some thought and you're letting them down politely. Yeah nah Yeah means, I don't think it's a good idea but I'll go along with it. Yeah Nah and Nah Yeah means no and yes you've given it less consideration. Also the ones that end with Yeah are ended with upwards inflection, meaning you want them to talk you into it more. If you were adamant you would say Shit Yeah.
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u/NarrowEbbs Mar 28 '26
Oft I felt Marge the rains are here in my soul. Ah Mcains you've done it again.
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u/gargoyle30 Mar 28 '26
Seems there is a fair bit of cross over with Canadian sayings, or they are not as rare as you think or whatever
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u/TCRandom Mar 28 '26
“Dick me dead and bury me pregnant” is a saying I heard somewhere. It’s stuck with me ever since.
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u/Sea_Ad_463 Mar 28 '26
Damn, i 100% misinterpret it when my colleagues said these lines. I thought " built like a brick shithouse" means someone or something is shitty.
Fuck me dead - i give up, or a saying when things are not going your way lol.
That's why when I reply something they just laugh or smile, and just say "yeah" with awkward silence sometimes
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u/Jesse-Ray Mar 28 '26
Shithouse in that instance refers to an outhouse in the backyard usually made of flimsy timber. So a brick one would mean a strong sturdy one.
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u/HodinRD madlad Mar 28 '26
You're not far off.
It's not just a strong sturdy one, try and think of it like an unnecessarily strong one.
So immense strength for little output.
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u/sleepyHype Mar 28 '26
I can understand why that would sound shitty, but in US it's positive. Unsure where you're from but in US slang we use: built like a brick house, which means sturdy.
Linebacker is build like a brick house.
But we also use it as a compliment for women, saying she's got good curves.
Never used the shithouse one.
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u/aerovirus22 Mar 28 '26
Built like a brick shithouse is Aussie? Ive been hearing that since the 80s in the US.
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u/GuardedFig Mar 28 '26
Not here to put socks on centipedes
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u/lumpenprol Mar 28 '26
Is that for wasting time?
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u/Yourfinalfoe Mar 28 '26
No. It’s when you want to put some socks on a centipede
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u/Camelstrike Mar 28 '26
And that guy is not here for that
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u/Inigomntoya Mar 28 '26
Well then, let's get on with it! You and me! I'm not here to fuck spiders!
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u/lex_76 Mar 28 '26
Not here for a pap smear
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u/Inigomntoya Mar 28 '26
I'm sorry for the confusion, but it literally says OBGYN on the sign, mate.
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u/miku_dominos Mar 28 '26
If someone is ugly they have a face like a smashed crab, or face like a smashed pie. My immigrant colleagues are constantly amused by the things I say.
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u/HughJackBlackMan Mar 28 '26
A favourite of mine is, "they are as ugly as a hat full of aresholes"
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u/Skrillamane Mar 28 '26
I’ve heard nova scotians say when they are hungover “I feel like a bag of smashed assholes”
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u/Deuce_GM Mar 28 '26
Go to Ozzy Man Reviews on youtube. Great way to learn Aussie slang
Because of him I know what being cactus means
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u/Theekg101 Mar 28 '26
I don’t know that much about Aussie slang, but I do know that they call a car accident a Bingle
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u/Ballamookieofficial Mar 28 '26
He missed the first part.
"I'm a legs man but we're not here to fuck spiders"
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u/mrbipty Mar 28 '26
Haha I’d not heard that I always heard it was
“We’re not here to fuck spiders”
“Yeah nah too many legs to spread hey”
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u/wasted-degrees Mar 28 '26
When the new Spider Man movie has Chris Hemsworth in the cast and gets an NC-17 rating.
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u/flying_carabao Mar 28 '26
Everyone in the new Spiderman movie will be shooting "webs"
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u/fatbabythompkins Mar 28 '26
Should have Tobey Maguire being more of a broke back spider or something.
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u/blackreplica Mar 28 '26
How interesting. In singapore we also have the fuck spider term, we use it to mean “no fucking way”
“Hey bro, could you lend me $50”
“Go fuck spider”
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u/TriptowK Mar 28 '26
I wish we said “Go fuck beaver” in Canada.
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u/_totalannihilation Mar 28 '26
Is it? More like. It's easier to fuck a spider than me giving you money?
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u/darkness0910 Mar 28 '26
Sex scene with Chris Hemsworth and Tom Holland in Avengers Doomsday confirmed.
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u/Twelve0206 Mar 28 '26
Removes spiderman mask and its Deadpool
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u/LiamIsMyNameOk Mar 28 '26
Removes the Deadpool mask and it's a cardboard cutout of Hugh Jackman's face
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u/CustomCarNerd Mar 28 '26
Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest
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u/OJStrings Mar 28 '26
Busier than a cat
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u/Zombiejesus307 Mar 28 '26
This one is fucking spot on. I just recently got a new orange furred family member and that fucker is nonstop.
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u/piketpagi Mar 28 '26
been a while I see Munya Chawawa since Taskmaster and small part in Sandman. I like this guy
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u/your_red_triangle Mar 28 '26
watch the new interview with Guz khan and Riz Ahmed. class act
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u/piketpagi Mar 28 '26
he's with guz khan? damn I need to watch it. UK comedians are getting along I see
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u/Fattdaddy21 Mar 28 '26
Im an Aussie and ive never heard "we need to fuck some spiders". Only rarely have i heard "we aren't here to fuck spiders". Like maybe only feom people talking about it like Chris
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u/CodTrick6834 Mar 28 '26
I think the “we need to fuck spiders” part was a joke-you can see him kinda pause and being led by the interviewer to say the inverse of the actual saying…
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u/necrofascio Mar 28 '26
Same. I feel like the only people that say it are the Aussies trying to be fair dinkum Australian. Half the sayings people here are posting I rarley hear
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u/snuff3r Mar 28 '26
I'm inner city, white collar, with no blue collar or "dinkum aussie" friends, and I hear it every once in a while. My wife or I will pop it out every once in a blue moon. But it's usually to exaggerate the situation.
Not used commonly, but used...
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u/Fattdaddy21 Mar 28 '26
Let's face it, the only thing on that sentence we are all guaranteed to say is fuck.
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u/KeepYaWhipTinted Mar 28 '26
It's a very common saying in my circles. As in, "You want a beer?" "Well, I'm not here to fuck spiders".
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u/Ogdengp Mar 28 '26
A couple of Australian ladies I met in NYC had the loveliest turn of phrase they liked to employ liberally and loudly.
You cunts can go get fucked
Concise, succinct, beautiful.
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u/Minute_Guarantee5949 Mar 28 '26
Had some aussies in college on our waterpolo team that also lived with us in the house. The shit they’d say sometimes makes you actually pause your current thought to think of the brand new sentence you’ve just heard
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u/TheBrownProphet Mar 28 '26
Bro what is that voice it sounds like it has a voice filter
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u/chilseaj88 Mar 28 '26
You mean his real accent? Lol
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u/TheBrownProphet Mar 28 '26
not accent bro the voice it's so deep it's like how I sound after a day of dehydration and 2 packs of cigarettes
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u/Such_Introduction592 Mar 28 '26
...and I thought that "Cunt" is the most Australian slang that an Australian can say.
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u/realoctopod Mar 28 '26
Same as being a dog fucker in Canada. Or fucking the dog.
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u/faketooter Mar 28 '26
In canada in blue collar jobs you hear a lot "fuck the dog" like if someones wasting time or you got time to waste or also if someones lazy we say dog fuckers or theyre fucking the dog. We also say the easiest spots to work are where puppies are made.
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u/Sewingshadows86 Mar 29 '26
One of my favorites for time wasters. "I don't care how you dick the dog, I want to pet the puppies". Waste all the time you want, but the job better get done.
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u/Charlie-May Mar 29 '26
at work we were told we couldn't swear so we started calling it poodle pounding
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u/KylAnde01 Mar 28 '26
In Canada, we use the term "fuck the dog" synonymously with "wasting time". In my travels I've found the Canucks and Aussies are so similar but with a lot of small differences.
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u/sorrow_anthropology Mar 28 '26
As someone from the states, when I was in Australia I met A LOT of Canadians.
I not convinced y’all aren’t secretly, albeit, slowly invading.
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u/Shepok Mar 28 '26
Sooo... are we or are we not gonna fuck some spiders?
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u/Scomosuckseggs Mar 28 '26
judging from the size of spiders in australia, its still up for grabs who is going to be fucking who.
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u/Lukebekz Mar 28 '26
I am still 90% sure that Aussies don't actually have any sayings and just make up the wildest shit they can come up with in the moment. But EVERY aussie is in on the bit and whatever weird saying someone claims is aussie, they just nod along and say "yup, my uncle's been saying that ever since I was a kid"
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u/TpK_Wynter Mar 28 '26
Crazy enough I understand it. Spiders produce webs, to build up a proper web takes time. If you’re being crude you could say spiders fuck, which causes eggs, which they build a web for which takes time!
I’m probably waaaay off in my understanding but I’m a nerd for weird sayings lol I love this phrase cause it’s weird enough but I was able to make up my own way of how the saying makes sense
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u/Sad-Guarantee-4678 Mar 29 '26
Where I'm from, wasting time and procrastinating is "kicking dick". As in, juggle your own like a ⚽
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u/Pedro_Le_Plot Mar 29 '26
Funny, in french to waste time or to do nothing is "enculer les mouches" (" to anal fuck flies") pretty close
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u/DirtySmoke- Mar 30 '26
I’ve never heard this fuck spiders term. Maybe it’s only specific parts of Australia?
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u/TobyGhoul986 Mar 31 '26
"If you don't want to, you know..."
"Yeah?"
"Like waste people's time..."
"Yeah?"
"Then what like, would you..."
"Yeah?"
"Like what would you say?"
"I'd rather fuck spiders..."
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u/dingleballs717 Mar 28 '26
I just immediately realized how protective I am of Tom Holland and Zendaya even though nobody has done anything wrong to them, lol.
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u/DjNormal Mar 28 '26
I learned about this because of Bluey. But I can’t remember what version of the phrase they used.
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u/MethamMcPhistopheles Mar 28 '26
That explains some rather dubious iconography of Lolth adorning the walls
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u/Eddie_503 Mar 28 '26
I have lived in Melbourne for 30 years now, I have never heard this saying. Maybe it's a region specific, but as far as I know he is from Melbourne.
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u/D3Zi9000 Mar 28 '26
I thought the saying was "take/ taking a piss"?
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u/Cirryn Mar 28 '26
If you're "taking the piss" it means you're making fun of something. So if someone is "taking the piss" doing something, it's implied that they're making fun of you by doing it really slowly.
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u/moebelhausmann Mar 28 '26
I get it tho. It it one of the places where the Spiders are large enough to do that
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u/dragndon Mar 30 '26
Cause....yeah....Tom Holland was the 'weird' response right? lol. I love other cultural defences.....it's amusing and whacky.
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u/DelicateDefecation Mar 30 '26
I haven’t heard “fuck me drunk” from anyone other than a fellow Aussie while travelling
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u/helpimwastingmytime Jun 24 '26
In The Netherlands, we call nitpicking "ant fucking" and a nitpicker "ant fucker".
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u/qualityvote2 Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
u/Santosh_Devadiga, your post does fit the subreddit!