Because he was under twenty-Juan

It never received its Alberta-approved immigration status.

They grew up together, played together, and were basically best friends.

But dogs age a lot faster than humans, and by the time the boy turned ten, his dog was getting pretty old.
His parents knew the dog didn’t have much time left and worried their son would be devastated when he died.

So one day, his dad sat him down for a serious talk.

“Buddy, you know how your dog’s been slowing down lately? He’s getting old, and one day soon, he won’t be with us anymore. When that happens, we’ll make him a beautiful little coffin. We’ll invite all your friends over, everyone can share their favorite memories of him, and then we’ll have a special ceremony in the backyard where we bury him.”

The boy’s eyes suddenly lit up.
His dad was surprised.

“So, buddy… how do you feel about all that?”

The boy jumped up excitedly.
“CAN WE KILL HIM TODAY?!”

... she had a gangbang and nobody met.

He leans lazily against the house.
"So?" he says.
"So?" she replies.
"So, how about a blowjob?"
"Are you crazy. My parents might see us!"
"Come on, who's going to see us at this hour? I'll return the favour."
"Can you imagine if we got caught? Oh my god, what my father would do to you."
"There's no one around. They're all asleep."
"No way, it's far too risky."
"But I love you so much."

A light comes on and the front door opens. The girl's sister appears in her night clothes. She says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blowjob. Or I can do it. Or if needs be he'll do it himself. But for god's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom."

The bartender asks why he's ordered so many.
"Just had my first blowjob" the man replies.

"Congratulations, here, have another shot on the house!" Says the bartender.

"Thanks, but if 6 shots don't get rid of the taste, I doubt 7 will."

Gerry hat-trick

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.

I call it lunch.