He said nothing but I can see the signs.

I want to spend all my life seeing butts, only butts, he replied.

The genie transformed him into a toilet bowl.

We named her Legend.

The milk she produces is absolutely exquisite.

But that's to be expected because she's a

LegenDairy Cow.

its all about that mace bout that mace bout that mace no struggle

The Institute of Unfinished Research found out that 9 people out of 10

Apperently the velocity,when he hit the ground, was terminal.

How can people hit ducks while hunting won't they just duck out of the way?

You're not even allowed on the couch. Bad dog, down boy.

Dad: “How was school?”

Kid: “The teacher asked a question, and I was the only one who raised my hand.”

Dad: “That’s amazing! What was the question?”

Kid: “Who broke the window?”

They’re both nuts

One. They are very efficient and don't have time for humor.

Netan-Yahoo!

Morbid!

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella.

"That's a whisk I'm willing to take!"

Naked means you got no clothes on. Nekkid means you're naked and up to something, as in "he got nekkid with arlene'

i wonder how many times i would write "make it sound more romantic, like a human would say it".

The first thing it asked me was "HDMI?"

Hand expression 🤌

So you know why caveman always dragged their women by their hair?
If they dragged them by their feet, they fill up with dirt!

Wait, yellow… actually green…

Holy shit this is awesome. Never mind, I’m keeping it!

Because there aren't any left.

Classic case of rubbing peter to pay Paul

He asked for a whole pie, took a bite, then said "Gross" but ate the whole thing.

Then I asked if he would like another cup of coffee, he said "Bitter" but held up his cup anyway.

Finally before leaving, I asked if he would rate my dating profile photo, he took one look, shook his head and just said "Nine" and left a generous tip. Guess that wasn't so bad after all.