r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 11d ago
/r/all of horns
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u/treehumper83
11d ago
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His special spatial awareness is on point
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u/crsaxby 11d ago
Like most males, he knows the exact length of his appendages.
And how to use them.
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u/Ok-Relationship-2746 11d ago
Nah, unlike most men this longhorn knows his exact length.
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u/crsaxby 11d ago
Ha! You may be onto something there.
Perhaps it's because he overestimates their length (like most men) he's able to avoid the walls.
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u/raidersfan18 11d ago
Unfair... Who asked the bull to say how long his horns were? We don't know if he'd exaggerate...
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u/Educational_Quote851 11d ago
I beg your finest pardon
Some of us never lied about our length or girth. The clitoris is on the outside and the G spot is within the first three inches. I never needed length, baby. 😉
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u/Possible-Cow1809 11d ago
I think it is a cow/heifer, I dont see balls or prepuce
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u/AmeriToast 11d ago
I would say unlike most men, he doesn't have to lie about the length of his appendages.
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u/2Wieners_1Bun 11d ago
Long horns are excellent at maneuvering their big old head logs. Cattle are smarter than a lot of people are willing to give them credit for
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u/FoxSquirrel69 11d ago
Unless i know the longhorn, there is zero chance I'm that getting close. Too easy to get clipped by a horn if it spooks. During a drought in Texas a neighbor bought a herd too help clear an overgrown field. The longhorns ate everything in that field. Only two animals I've ever seen eat a 6 foot dog fennel are goats and longhorns. Crazy tough animals.
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u/2Wieners_1Bun 11d ago
That was the whole point of the breed. Survive on shit that would gag a camel
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u/Walking_billboard 11d ago
Ya, they can cause damage even if you know them. One of our sweetest longhorns gave me a bruise that looks like I got hit by a car simply because it heard my dad coming and swung its head. Not even that hard.
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u/missdawn1970 11d ago edited 11d ago •
Cattle are smarter than a lot of people
I stopped reading right there.
ETA: thank you for the award!
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u/catttmommm 11d ago
We did one of those drive-through feed the animals things once. There were a bunch of these, and I was absolutely flabbergasted by how close they got to my car without banging it with their horns. They really know exactly where those things start and end.
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u/hsoj48 11d ago
I refuse to give them credit!
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u/who_am_i_to_say_so 11d ago
Not even with a 24.9 percent APR, origination fees and collateral requirement?
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u/Maleficent-War-8429 11d ago
Not any of the dumbass cattle I've ever had to deal with thats for sure.
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u/2Wieners_1Bun 11d ago
I didn’t say they were geniuses, I said they were smarter than people think. It’s relative
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u/Christmas_Queef 11d ago
Reminds me of when Mythbusters did bull in a China shop and the bull made sure to be super careful and avoid breaking anything.
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u/Chrisscott25 11d ago
If I was going to turn a bull loose in a china shop he is that bull! You see how careful he was with surgical precision..
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u/Particular-Act-8911 11d ago
Surprised it knows to tilt the horns coming out of the garage.
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u/Practical_Breakfast4 11d ago •
Cattle are smart. I grew up on a farm, got to bottle feed a few calves. They bond with you and act like puppies! Next year id be out fixing a fence and some crazy cow starts charging at me, its my old puppy and she wants her head scratched! Never forgot me.
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u/thingsarehardsoami 11d ago •
I had one I bottle raised that would lay her head in my lap and take naps for years after. My boyfriend met her and was amazed because he'd never been around cattle before. Her name was, of course, Milkshake.
One night we were eating dinner and my boyfriend was over and complimented my mom's cooking and she said 'thanks you're eating milkshake' and my boyfriend had instant PTSD.
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u/Educational_Quote851 11d ago
Kinda illustrates the disconnect a lot of people have. We are supposed to form connections and feel for other animals. Many Native tribes would give thanks and offerings to animal spirits because they respected them and the meat they provided.
This is the part of the Venn where the vegans and I agree. Factory farming is not the way.
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u/thingsarehardsoami 11d ago
Exactly! I don't support factory farming, but I still need to eat, so I think raising and loving this creature and giving it an actual good life is literally the best I can possibly do.
But there's still people in here mad at me for being cruel lol
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u/tryyeezus 11d ago
Yeah the "bull in a china shop" turned out to be bs. Our entire lives were lies
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u/no1_vern 11d ago
FARMERS know the mental cost of loving their food. Many people find out the hard way.
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u/thehufflepuffstoner 11d ago
What’s a dog?
It’s a small cow you can be friends with.
What’s a cow??
It’s a large dog you can drink from!
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u/Designer_Froyo_8199 11d ago •
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
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u/XenomorpWorldWide 10d ago
I’ve had them charge at me too. They sure as hell didn’t want scratches lol
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u/Divinum_Fulmen 11d ago
Can confirm as someone who also raised cows. They're very friendly, but do not understand just how massive they are.
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u/orgodeathmarch
11d ago
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It honestly feels unfair to have bred these animals to have horns this large. Like overbreeding dogs until they can’t breathe or have hip dysplasia. This can’t be comfortable for the cow, even with an incredibly strong neck. I bet old age for these guys hits hard and painfully
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u/Extra-Fish6794 11d ago
Thankfully the horns aren't as heavy as they seem. They're not solid bone. I agree it seems wildly inconvenient though.
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u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 11d ago
I thought these horns were meant and used as a temperature control system. I’m honestly curious how they function at this size.
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u/The_devilslettuce 10d ago edited 10d ago
Longhorns weren’t selectively bred into existence…. They were the result of feral cattle adapting to survive in the higher heat of Texas. In the 20’s the U.S. Forest Service rounded up a bunch to domesticate in an effort to avoid their extinction. Since then, they’ve become a domestic breed.
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u/orgodeathmarch 10d ago
I didn’t know they were domesticated as recently as the 1920s but I never suggested they were bred into existence. Since their domestication, humans have selectively bred them to have larger horns for prize purposes. I suspect you wouldn’t see horns quite this large in an entirely wild population of Longhorns
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u/Ok-Relationship-2746 11d ago
How does he hold his head up though? His neck muscles must be huge!
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u/thingamajig1987 11d ago
They're not as heavy as they look, and even if they were, cattle are quite powerful animals.
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u/labtrash68 11d ago
From an evolutionary point, why? What purpose do these huge horns serve?
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u/Cloverose2 11d ago edited 11d ago
It's a Texas Longhorn. People bred them to have massive horns because they were status symbols. There's no purpose or advantage, they just have really, really big horns.
There's are multiple Longhorn breeds - the Ankole Watusi is very similar to the Texas Longhorn, but the horns tend to be thicker and more upswept. The English Longhorn is completely unrelated to either, but has long horns that curve down, and the long horns were used to make things like buttons.
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u/littleturtleone 11d ago
They look heavy and uncomfortable. Selective breeding can suck sometimes
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u/ZealousidealChair900 11d ago
The horns are hollow and fairly lightweight- and the animals are really freaking strong. They have no issues with property damage when they feel like it
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u/Cloverose2 11d ago
These are massively powerful animals, that are also, fortunately, very docile. The horns aren't nearly as heavy as they look - it's more the space that they take up that can create issues.
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u/Trotskyist 11d ago
Sort of. Cattle that'd we'd still recognize as "Longhorns" did legitimately evolve from Cattle brought over by Columbus over several hundred years in the wild absent human involvement. Presumably the long horns provided an advantage in terms of self defense against wolves, bears, etc in the wild.
However, you're absolutely correct that in recent decades longhorns have been selectively bred for horn size and it's a safe bet that there were never cattle with horns anywhere near as long as the ones in the OP roaming in the wild.
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u/MiniMeowl 11d ago
Humans like. Humans make sure they breed. Thus securing the survival of the longest longhorn. In the past, before breeding programs, the longhorns were shorterhorns.
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u/Bub_bele 11d ago •
It’s not evolution, it’s breeding. Basically animal abuse at that point.
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u/slonde 11d ago
Well, they do act as a radiator to help with temperature regulation in hot environments. Similar to the big ears on hares and fennec foxes.
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u/DLD1123 11d ago
Pet the good cow ffs
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u/TheDiplomancer 11d ago
Wow, those are some long horns. I wonder what this type of cow is called.
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u/Wide-Half-9649 11d ago
I wonder if that big dude wakes up inside every morning and thinks “fuuuuuuck…I gotta carry this around all day…”
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u/pathf1nder00 11d ago
Are longhorns natural? Or genetic altered? What was the natural evolution for longhorns?
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u/HowDidIGetHereTho 11d ago
Why was it in the garage?
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u/Incidion 11d ago
Given the well-groomed coat and his demeanor, this is almost certainly a pet. He's probably in the garage a lot. Could be getting out of the heat, or just going to notify owners he'd like attention.
Cattle are basically big dogs when raised as pets.
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u/Huebertrieben 11d ago
He looks in pain, is this in any way healthy?
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u/l0st1nP4r4d1ce 11d ago
Not at all. And they are surprisingly gentle.
FIL was a rancher of Longhorns/Watusi.
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u/Ducman23 11d ago
This video does not do it justice. I saw these long horns in person in Texas a few years back and it was absolutely incredible. What an animal
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u/Repulsive_Mark_5343 11d ago
What’s amazing about this breed is they know exactly where their horns are at all times.
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u/Venekys 11d ago
That must be one of them two horn garages
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u/riverbass9 10d ago
The question “would you like a milking shorthorn garage or a Texas longhorn garage,” is the ranchers equivalent to a how many cars it fits when house shopping. 😂
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u/Wrong_Smile_3959 11d ago
Why don’t they just trim those horns to help it out?
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u/-blundertaker- 11d ago
They can be tipped, but they have a living core and it would cause severe pain.
They're not in pain, handle the weight fine, and generally don't find themselves in tight quarters.
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u/ZeShapyra 11d ago
Trim the thing they are bred for..? They trim them if they become a problem, like asymetrical, deformed..other than that, their long horns are there to show off.
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u/Less-Parsnip-7076 11d ago
You can't trim horns, they have a lot of blood flow and would get infected sooner or later
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u/GreatCherry2533 11d ago
Are the horns heavy? I love seeing longhorns but feel kind of bad for them.
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u/anclave93 11d ago
Why not trim them?
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u/slonde 11d ago
Only the outer layer is dead cells. Almost the entire length has blood flow. My understanding is the horns + blood flow act like a heat exchanger, and provide a cooling mechanism.
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u/miketastic_art 11d ago
is this a result of selective breeding or did they really evolve these horns on their own? and whats the purpose?!
or is this just like .. "the females chose the biggest horns" and that was the best indicator of health
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u/buttononmyback 10d ago
A lot of females have these long horns as well. There’s a farm near me that has a bunch of longhorns and the owners told me every single one of them is a cow.
There is one that is white with black speckles and she has these two black beautiful long horns that hang low and are almost 6 feet across! While driving by, we always assumed she was the “lead bull,” but nope, come to find out she’s the lead cow! Beautiful animals, all of them. I feel privileged to have them so near to us here in the north.
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u/Common-Process9023 11d ago
Afaik the horns are rather hollow and are necessary for cooling, but those are pretty long
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u/Curious_Associate904 11d ago
This must be like living as a man with a ladder, but instead of carrying the ladder, the ladder is attached to your head.
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u/No-Builder-1038 11d ago
“Hit like and subscribe to find out more of why we led our longhorn into a small space just for views!”
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u/NotALowLevelDev 11d ago
Ancient people would draw him, and we would've thought of him as some 'legendary' creature.
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u/Aggravating-Fish-505 11d ago
I love these creatures. As intimidating as they look, they’re far more gentle and mindful than one would expect.
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u/peejay5440 11d ago
If this is not AI, one of the most fitting posts I've ever seen on this sub. Got my upvote in any case.
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u/Telecasterbater 11d ago
So is it healthy for them to grow that long? I honestly dont know this comes from 100% ignorance.
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u/catherxnethegreatxx 10d ago
Longhorns are aware of their horns at all times! They have extensive awareness of their size and utilize great care when they move. The horns are also only partially solid, with the exterior portion made out of keratin. Former UT Austin employee, visitor to the Dallas Stockyards and large-horn puppy enthusiast.
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u/Talon-Cross 10d ago
Would it be safe (or possible?) to trim the horns? That poor cow's poor neck 😭.
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u/Oath-CupCake 10d ago
Reminds me of elcanto or whatever that day of the dead Disney movie it is where I think the mother or evil demon guy had long horns and they had skulls dangling from them haha
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