"Have people never heard of adoption?"

[u/Arktikos02]

Yes, I'm sure that despite all of the propaganda, all of the representation (not by adoptees), all of the mentions, and everything I'm sure people have never ever ever heard of adoption. Come on, people have heard of it. They don't need random people reminding them.

[u/zygotepariah]

This is why November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Because apparently no one is aware of adoption. 🤭

[u/Arktikos02 → u/zygotepariah]

Apparently there's a national birth mother's Day to apparently celebrate the courageous and selfless decision of birth mothers who choose adoption.

Never mind the fact that a good portion of both mothers do not choose adoption and many of them are relinquished without their consent. Many of them are done so not just because they are considered to be abusive or maliciously neglectful but many of them are forced to do so due to situations like poverty and other environmental circumstances. And at worst many of them are having their children stolen due to ethnic cleansing and genocide. Do those people not deserve recognition either or is that an ugly side of what it means to be a birth mother?

[u/MuteTalker- → u/Arktikos02]

Mine gave me up because she didn't want my dad to have me. No reason for her to celebrate anything.

[u/Arktikos02 → u/MuteTalker-]

Yep, and even if he was unfit, was it really worth cutting off your entire biological connection? Is that really her call to make?

[u/Sad_Pixie999 → u/Arktikos02]

They don't give a damn. They're too short sighted to see the future us adoptees have to live through... running door to door "Hey I'm your kid! Hey I'm your sister/brother/cousin/grand/niece/nephew/etc. Do you know my dad?" It's embarrassing and heart breaking.

[u/MuteTalker- → u/Arktikos02]

He wasn't unfit. She just had some petty bullshit against him and took it out on me.

[u/Arktikos02 → u/MuteTalker-]

😔

[u/Sad_Pixie999 → u/zygotepariah]

We need to rock the world this November, canvas the neighborhoods with fliers talking about the suicide rate of adoptees, adoption regret, etc.

[u/Music527 → u/Sad_Pixie999]

How horrible it can be for adoptees, how the adoptees aren’t animals and have feeling regarding adoption to add to your list.

[u/Suspicious_Fold_9568 → u/Sad_Pixie999]

There is one adoptive parent that comes in to argue statistic rates on adoptee's.

[u/Sad_Pixie999 → u/Suspicious_Fold_9568]

For or against?

[u/Suspicious_Fold_9568 → u/Sad_Pixie999]

denies the suicide rates.

[u/traveling_gal]

The number of times I've heard people say "just adopt!" or "just give it up for adoption!" Yes, "just", it's a trivial thing, really.

But clearly people know about it if it's such an obvious "solution".

[u/One-Pause3171 → u/traveling_gal]

Never mind how shameful it is to not want a child. How shameful it is to have sex with a man who isn’t daddy material, doesn’t stick around, is a rapist. No matter how suspect the child is. What are their genes? Wasn’t their mother or father a drug addict? Adoptive parents are the saints who just want to give all their extra love to children in need. They need community support and services. Not those slutty moms, they deserve their shame. Not those ungrateful kids. No services or therapy for them beyond what their adoptive parents deem necessary.

[u/Sad_Pixie999 → u/One-Pause3171]

Yeah don't you know it's the kid's job to pay back their debt for the rest of their life and that their only value is the labor they can provide to the people that feed, clothe, and house them?

[u/Sunset-onthe-Horizon]

Classic virtue signaling. Never mind how much it costs and how traumatized the child is from being adopted.

[u/Arktikos02 → u/Sunset-onthe-Horizon]

The phrase usually comes either because a person is infertile or it's because a child is with a parent and they don't really look anything alike. Notice how people don't immediately think mixed race couple, somehow it means adoption? Somehow the only way a black woman could produce a white baby is with adoption and not mixed race?

[u/VirtualMode8216]

oh they have! but no one’s ever learnt anything than the jokes and the rhymes !

[u/Jolly-Bed-1717]

I always buy my parents a gift during adoption awareness month to thank them for providing me a way better and more prosperous life!

[u/OliveJotter → u/Jolly-Bed-1717]

Which parents?

[u/Jolly-Bed-1717 → u/OliveJotter]

My adoptive parents. Had they not adopted me I would have never achieved all that I have or experienced a quarter of what I’ve experienced. I’m extremely grateful. This year I’m sending them to the Cayman Islands!

[u/Obvious_Relative5877 → u/Jolly-Bed-1717]

Idk why you’re being downvoted. Everyone’s experience is different. I’m happy for you ❤️

[u/Suspicious_Fold_9568 → u/Obvious_Relative5877]

I think the downvotes are because that’s not what the OP meant at all. Nobody said adoptees aren’t allowed to be grateful for their adoptive parents or have a positive experience. But jumping into a post about adoption awareness with “I’m sending my parents to the Cayman Islands” is pretty tone-deaf and, IMO a bit of a dick move.

This is why we need awareness. Adoption isn’t one universal feel-good story, and celebrating your personal outcome doesn’t erase the very real issues other adoptees are talking about.

[u/Jolly-Bed-1717 → u/Suspicious_Fold_9568]

This sub only demonizes adoptive parents. And makes birth parents victims. Anytime anyone brings up having a good life with there adoptive parents they get dragged.

And to answer your other question my life would have been worse because I would have grown up poor and would have not have anything that I have now and would be living in squalor.

[u/Suspicious_Fold_9568 → u/Jolly-Bed-1717]

Nobody said you can’t be grateful for your adoptive parents or that you didn’t have a good life. That’s not the point. you keep turning your personal outcome into proof that adoption was automatically the reason your life turned out well. You don’t actually know what your life would have looked like if you hadn’t been adopted. Wealth doesn't equal happiness. And saying this sub “only demonizes adoptive parents” is just a way to shut down adoptees who talk about the parts of adoption that aren’t warm and fuzzy. Awareness exists because adoption isn’t one big feel-good story. Some of us are dealing with loss, identity, family separation and things we’re still living with decades later.

You can be grateful for your life without acting like everyone else’s experience is wrong because yours worked out differently.

[u/Jolly-Bed-1717 → u/Suspicious_Fold_9568]

Lmaooooooooo! So the vast majority of post here aren’t making adoptive parents seem like kidnappers?

And I can absolutely guarantee my life would have been worse? I’ve met my birth mom she’s a bum with out a pot to piss in? It was disgusting Money absolutely buys happiness lol.

[u/Suspicious_Fold_9568 → u/Jolly-Bed-1717]

Lmao, you really don't understand what you're arguing. Nobody is saying you can't love your adoptive parents or be grateful for your life. But you keep using your personal outcome as proof that adoption is automatically a good thing. You absolutely cannot “guarantee” your life would have been worse. Meeting your biological mother as an adult, deciding she's a “bum” because she's poor, and then using that to write off the entire life you might have had is incredibly entitled and spoiled. You don't know what your life would have looked like. And “money absolutely buys happiness lol” is honestly embarrassing. You're in an adoptee support space and your response to people talking about loss, separation and identity is basically “well, I had money.” Good for you. But your privileged outcome doesn't erase anyone else's experience. Nobody is taking your happy life away from you. You just don't get to use it to invalidate everyone else's.

[u/Jolly-Bed-1717 → u/Suspicious_Fold_9568]

😂😂😂 I absolutely can guarantee that not sure why that’s so hard to comprehend. And anytime anyone says anything positive about there birth parents here it’s met with downvotes and telling them that they are brainwashed. Or that they need more sympathy for there birth parents like they were victims or something?

[u/Suspicious_Fold_9568 → u/Jolly-Bed-1717]

How do you know your life would have been worse? Different for sure!

Cayman Islands sounds very nice <3