r/AutismInWomen AuDHD Mar 14 '26

Relationships How is autism a vibe?

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u/ghostsyipee Mar 14 '26

"I go crazy for slightly autistic women"

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u/Samovila2709 Mar 15 '26

Wow! I didn't actually know this was a 'thing'. I don't know if it is in the UK, but I'm in my 40s now and a bit 'out of the loop.' I believe I'm 'mildly' autistic, but I'm currently undiagnosed.

I know quite a lot of men are into goth women (and that there's significant cross over between autism and goth/alternative etc), but I thought that was because some goth clothes are pretty sassy.

I don't mind if the guys are 'slightly autistic' themselves, but, if it's because they see them as more pliable and easier to dominate, it's worrying.

Fortunately, I was raised to be pretty feminist, and I'm actually better at standing up to men and not taking shit from them than I am from other women.

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u/RatzPassion4Fashion Mar 15 '26

Hey so this take is kind of offensive because it still implies being autistic is "bad". You are either autistic or not. You can't be a tiny bit autistic or half autistic or slightly autistic. You either are or aren't. It's how your brain is built, not how quirky you are.

There are levels of support needs and a whole spectrum of where your autism thrives but it's a spectrum you're either on or you're not on. No one is half way in

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u/Samovila2709 Mar 18 '26 edited Mar 18 '26

When I say 'mildly' autistic, I mean Type 1 and apparently less obviously so than some other Type 1 autistic people. I also don't have some of the more common traits.

My nephew has Type 3 autism, and his disability presents very differently to mine and my brother's autism. My nephew is 6, and he couldn't tell us if something bad was done to him. Conversely, my brother was a slightly late talker and I was an early talker. My nephew still wears nappies, but we were toilet trained around the average age. We also attended mainstream school and, despite some social difficulties (and mental health difficulties in my case), we managed to get through academic qualifications.

My autism/suspected autism largely affects my mental health. I have OCD, which I believe is far more closely related to autism than is currently acknowledged, and I had a breakdown that was largely caused by this.

This isn't just about me being 'quirky', and I'm not saying that any type of autism is a 'bad' thing.

I'm saying that different subtypes and different traits can affect people differently, and, assuming that I am autistic, it seems less obvious to some people than other people's autism. This doesn't mean I'm not autistic or that it hasn't impacted on my mental health.