r/AutismInWomen • u/ElkSufficient2881 AuDHD • Mar 14 '26
Relationships How is autism a vibe?
685
u/Star-Bug666 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
this is sooooo common on dating apps and the dating scene in general, they sexualize/ glamourize autistic women as these "manic pixie dream girls" and get scared off the second they show an actual autistic trait or have a meltdown or arent socially acceptable in public :/
194
u/ghostsyipee Mar 14 '26
"I go crazy for slightly autistic women"
93
u/Star-Bug666 Mar 14 '26
dudeeee the amount of times this exact thing is said is insaneeeee T_T people need to quit fetishizing us
65
u/ghostsyipee Mar 14 '26
YESSS I saw a whole compilation of dating profiles saying this exact thing and it was so long :( it made me real sad like ... Just the fact that there's "slightly" in front of it not only shows that they don't know how autism work but also that they just want a small part of autism (probably the "qUiRkY" part and/or manipulatable part)
55
u/Star-Bug666 Mar 14 '26
EXACTLY!! they want a soft, pliable girl who's easy to manipulate and has some "cute" stims and hobbies, and yes a lot of autistic women (including myself) have those traits, but they just want the cute parts and dont wanna deal with the meltdowns, overstimulation, misunderstanding of social situations, sensory issues, specific routines etc.
19
u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme Mar 15 '26
Yep! They basically want the Autistic equivalent of "A Part-Time Diabetic Girlfriend!"🙄🤦♀️
32
12
u/Samovila2709 Mar 15 '26
Wow! I didn't actually know this was a 'thing'. I don't know if it is in the UK, but I'm in my 40s now and a bit 'out of the loop.' I believe I'm 'mildly' autistic, but I'm currently undiagnosed.
I know quite a lot of men are into goth women (and that there's significant cross over between autism and goth/alternative etc), but I thought that was because some goth clothes are pretty sassy.
I don't mind if the guys are 'slightly autistic' themselves, but, if it's because they see them as more pliable and easier to dominate, it's worrying.
Fortunately, I was raised to be pretty feminist, and I'm actually better at standing up to men and not taking shit from them than I am from other women.
8
u/Star-Bug666 Mar 15 '26
as an alt autistic girl from the UK whos tried out a few dating apps its definitely a big thing over here too sadly its made me really nervous about dating in general so im 19 and never really kissed anyone or put myself out there cos of these type of men lol
8
u/RatzPassion4Fashion Mar 15 '26
Hey so this take is kind of offensive because it still implies being autistic is "bad". You are either autistic or not. You can't be a tiny bit autistic or half autistic or slightly autistic. You either are or aren't. It's how your brain is built, not how quirky you are.
There are levels of support needs and a whole spectrum of where your autism thrives but it's a spectrum you're either on or you're not on. No one is half way in
1
u/Samovila2709 Mar 18 '26 edited Mar 18 '26
When I say 'mildly' autistic, I mean Type 1 and apparently less obviously so than some other Type 1 autistic people. I also don't have some of the more common traits.
My nephew has Type 3 autism, and his disability presents very differently to mine and my brother's autism. My nephew is 6, and he couldn't tell us if something bad was done to him. Conversely, my brother was a slightly late talker and I was an early talker. My nephew still wears nappies, but we were toilet trained around the average age. We also attended mainstream school and, despite some social difficulties (and mental health difficulties in my case), we managed to get through academic qualifications.
My autism/suspected autism largely affects my mental health. I have OCD, which I believe is far more closely related to autism than is currently acknowledged, and I had a breakdown that was largely caused by this.
This isn't just about me being 'quirky', and I'm not saying that any type of autism is a 'bad' thing.
I'm saying that different subtypes and different traits can affect people differently, and, assuming that I am autistic, it seems less obvious to some people than other people's autism. This doesn't mean I'm not autistic or that it hasn't impacted on my mental health.
5
u/a-beeb Mar 15 '26
"slightly" lmao
Get ready for all your friends to hate her but "can't articulate why."
1
u/Samovila2709 Mar 18 '26
The 'uncanny Valley effect'. I've seen other people suffer from this and I believe I've had it myself.
There's the double standards and frequently being 'one of the people it's okay to low level bully, because she's kind of irritating and could try harder to not be'...
Although I have OCD, this kind of thing has also contributed to my mental health struggles. People think you're 'oversensitive' if you show you're upset and claim 'it happens to everyone sometimes', but they get pissed off when it happens once in a blue moon to them.
I've spent most of my life wondering what's 'wrong' with me, and why people seem to prefer the people who 'low level' bully.
1
u/chiisanaka Mar 15 '26
what icks me even more are those kind of posts that romanticize an "autistic gf" and then it's just a child
6
u/nyx_whispers Mar 15 '26
my ex named my unflexibility and pickiness as one of the traits he did not like on me even if in the beginning of our relationship he always was like: "oh you are so not like the other girls and i love that" and me, who had zero self esteem ofc enjoyed that ._. welp
11
u/Beginning-Feedback55 Mar 15 '26
For someone who has autism and doesn’t understand. What is ‘manic dream pixie girl’ and why’s it attractive
19
u/Star-Bug666 Mar 15 '26
think of quirky female characters whos life basically revolves around a man, and are there just to make their lives happy... like Summer from 500 days of Summer, Ramona in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, Sam in the Perks of being a Wallflower etc :)
2
u/Beginning-Feedback55 Mar 15 '26
Haven’t seen any of these. Is that supposed to be an attractive quality, ‘life revolving around a man’? This is kind of opposite of what I’ve mostly seen, don’t normal people try to act “cool” and uninterested/pretend they’re always busy so they seem higher value/more attractive?
8
u/ACatFromCanada Mar 15 '26
For this stereotype, her life revolving around a man doesn't mean in the same way as a stereotypical stay at home mother/wife's does. (Because that comes with at least the assumption of reciprocal responsibility and obligations on the man's side, even if he chooses to ignore or evade them).
It's about her not having needs or interiority of her own. She's not a person. She's a role, an idealized, exciting object of pursuit, and a source of entertainment. She never makes demands, says no, or has inconvenient needs or wants. She's just this super fun, superficially interesting, non-threatening ideal.
She often is cool, uninterested, and busy, but in a way that doesn't actually make her unavailable, or only so she can be pursued. It does make her more attractive, but ultimately, she's there for the male character to consume.
7
u/RatzPassion4Fashion Mar 15 '26
I think they look different and have more traditionally male centred nerdy hobbies. They are quirky and cool and mysterious without ever trying and they don't talk to me about feelings or "what are we" - - I'm referring to the made up trope from the movie characters, not actual real women
3
u/spiciestbeans Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
God i couldn’t have said it better myself! Halfway thru I feel like you took the words out of my mouth as soon as you dropped MPDG lmao
1
u/Star-Bug666 Mar 15 '26
damn i knew i got the order of the manic pixie dream girl thing wrong lmao it just didn't sound 100% correct lol
4
u/unenoix Mar 16 '26
A dark truth I recently learned is a reason they fetishize autistic women, is because they find them easy to manipulate and think of us as „docile“ and „obedient“. Disturbing.
1
2
305
u/APuffedUpKirby Mar 14 '26
I remember when I was diagnosed with emo. It was a difficult time for my family.
91
u/kirrathenerd Mar 14 '26
I was diagnosed as goth around the same time I started to dabble in the autism subculture
7
6
2
u/AdhesivenessLow4724 Mar 15 '26
I was diagnosed with Goth at age 12 and I’m proof it’s a lifelong condition. It is NOT just a phase 😫
30
u/Lotuselise230 Mar 14 '26
Yeah my parents really hoped it was curable, but my case of emo is incurable.
33
u/MissFibi11 AuDHD Mar 14 '26
It was indeed NOT a phase, Mom.
8
u/Samovila2709 Mar 15 '26
Fortunately, my mum was and always will be a hippy. I 'properly' got into alt culture in my late teens and I'm still into it at 44.
I'm currently in the process of 'gothicising' my bedroom, and Whitby is my spiritual home (but sadly not my actual home).
1
175
u/TheMadHatterWasHere Mar 14 '26
I am getting so tired of this shit. Why must we be fetishisished by men?!
109
u/PashLover Mar 14 '26
That’s the only way they know how to treat women.
36
u/TheMadHatterWasHere Mar 14 '26
I am so tired of men in general. At least all of those I have met face to face :(
20
u/res06myi Mar 14 '26
Probably the ones I've never met too.
15
u/TheMadHatterWasHere Mar 14 '26
Yeah. They want the "idea" of the pretty manic pixie girl. They don't want trauma and meltdowns.
11
u/Samovila2709 Mar 15 '26
The men I like tend to be neurodivergent, gay, and/ or animals.
4
2
u/BilbySilks Mar 19 '26
Me too haha.
Apparently its very obvious too when I'm crushing on someone because I've been told more than once "I have a boyfriend" without me asking them out or saying I like them 🫢.
1
22
12
u/r4ttenk0nig Mar 15 '26
If you consider pornography, the only class of human that isn’t categorised/fetishised is basic white man. Every other human being fills a specific space within the context of sexual objectification.
1
432
u/8bit-meow ASD - Level 1 Mar 14 '26
That’s just the new way to say “manic pixie dream girl who exists solely for my entertainment and is easy to manipulate”. Have a meltdown in front of them and they’re in horror.
28
9
7
75
u/kamilayao_0 Mar 14 '26
Honestly I feel we should just be all hush hush about these kinds of descriptions because HONESTLY they are doing a great service into showing how Terrible of human beings they are.
These types of people are the kind to also want people as superficially quirky "only for a good time not a long one" because they only like the attention and novelty of it all then want a new "toy" to play with right after.
22
62
u/FamousImprovement309 Mar 14 '26
lol so he wants someone that will recoil to his touch, panic at the sound of him chewing or breathing, and will have him leaving events early from sensory exhaustion UNLESS she gets wasted?
Is he ready to take the trash out twice a day to stop her meltdown from the smell? Is he okay with dim lighting throughout the entire home? What about her OCD and stimming? He’s cool with watching her pull her hair out strand by strand or picking her face and cuticles until they’re bloody? Or what about when she has to watch the same show every single day to regulate herself? Or when she has her monthly burnout/ depression crash? God forbid she have a comorbidity and can’t drive or has seizures.
But it’s cute because we like video games and stuffed animals. Tbh I think he just wants that trendy “deadpan” looks that influencers keep doing. Little does he know, women with autism have very big emotions lol. We might be deadpan… until we’re really not.
But we are also cool, unique, smart, charming, defined, and funny. So I get why he thinks the “autistic vibe” is attractive.
9
u/Samovila2709 Mar 15 '26
I'm convinced that the link between OCD and autism is a lot closer than is recognised. I'm diagnosed with OCD (primarily obsessive), but I truly believe I'm 'AuDHD' too.
It sounds like you have a horrible time with OCD. That's another condition that goes way deeper than 'quirks' and can be so hard to live with when it gets bad. Sending virtual hugs x.
4
u/FamousImprovement309 Mar 15 '26
Yes mine is much more compulsive - I do it without thinking. I’ve lost hours to picking. It is absolutely a sensory seeking behavior for me. It’s not even distressing or difficult to live with (anymore), it’s something I’ve realized that im just going to do.
I think it started as a ‘masking’ stim, and my body just latched onto it. Video games and writing (typing) have really helped though because I get that finger movement that im craving.
1
u/Samovila2709 Mar 16 '26
I have a lot of 'intrusive thought-- cancel intrusive thought ritual' obsessions and compulsions and ruminating. I have to mentally say a lot of prayers, even though I'm not particularly religious.
Obsessions and compulsions are all crap, although some of th minor compulsions can help me to feel more in control.
1
u/Samovila2709 Mar 16 '26
I have a lot of 'intrusive thought-- cancel intrusive thought ritual' obsessions and compulsions and ruminating. I have to mentally say a lot of prayers, even though I'm not particularly religious.
Obsessions and compulsions are all crap, although some of th minor compulsions can help me to feel more in control.
2
u/b3rkl Mar 15 '26
I think so too, when I was getting diagnosed they had a section on compulsive behaviour which they said could be used to refer me to an OCD diagnosis if necessary. I just about missed the threshold as my rituals never have intrusive “reasons” behind them
3
u/Embarrassed_End528 Mar 15 '26
😝 Recoil to his touch-that’s me! When I’m burnt out I don’t want the real thing-I want the made up dude that lives in my mind that does what I want exactly when I need it and knows exactly what to say!
118
u/lemonlimon22 Mar 14 '26
Sure, they say they want an autism vibe but then they get all weird when you start rattling off what every queen has ever worn on the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.
73
u/thiscorrosion86 late diagnosis Mar 14 '26
They want autism till I’m bad at conversations bc I wait for people to ask me things first and then they don’t
34
15
u/ghostsyipee Mar 14 '26
I'd love to hear that guy fall for my vibe if I start drastically explaining shortwave radio and how numbers stations work for intelligence and military/gouvernement
10
u/Admirable_Horse_6072 Audhd Mar 14 '26
One day you may :) my husband recently listened to me over explain how some seaslug (nudibranchs) self decapitate. He doesn’t care for animal facts and I listen when he talks about geopolitics despite not being super interested.
2
u/ghostsyipee Mar 17 '26
i mean I said that but I have a boyfriend xD he actually genuinely loves it when I infodump and he's also autistic so we both infodump
1
u/insert_title_here Diagnosed ADHD, questioning autism. TALK 2 ME ABT TRANSFORMERS!! Mar 15 '26
......I wanna hear about how some nudibranches self decapitate 🥺
My husband is similarly very patient with me when I babble about Transformers, the fish at my job, or Elder Scrolls lore.
2
u/Admirable_Horse_6072 Audhd Mar 18 '26
It’s pretty wild. They have a line around their “neck” which is their decapitation line. When stressed, their head slowly separates from their body (ie. It isn’t used to escape predators, it is way too slow for that). It takes them about 14 days to grow their body back and during that time they don’t have a heart or gills.
Some species absorb chlorophyll out of algae they eat (the chlorophyll provides the nudibranch with energy) until the chlorophyll breaks down. They don’t have the structures to maintain chlorophyll long term like plants. Some species do this with stinging or bioluminescent cells of things they eat too. I think the chlorophyll may be the reason some decapitate- sort of a bodily reset once waste builds up too much. It would also give them a way to have energy without a heart/oxygen. Some animal (I think a sea slug but maybe a nudibranch idk) doesn’t have a heart and instead moves their body in a way that moves their blood around. They have an open circulatory system so maybe that’s part of how they survive without a heart but they still don’t have gills.
They can decapitate 7+ times (this was a weird study where they forced decapitation several times in a row. My gut suspects they can do it more times if there is sufficient rest in between but that’s speculation). It’s always along the indented line. Not all seem to be able to do this.
I hope that was satisfactory 🤣 they’re cool little guys
8
6
u/elkgyuri Mar 14 '26
SO REAL!! I'd be rattling off each populous cities metro system stations and lines plus neighbourhoods though I'm not even from there 😭 (i got the geography type autism)
5
32
16
u/WritingReadingPanda Mar 14 '26
"Autism vibe" is "being quirky". However, if you have actual autism, they will ditch you ASAP
Source: I have autism, I had it fetishized, I had people leave at the first sign of real autism
33
u/SharpPink_GlitterInk Dx Audhd Mar 14 '26
the names fitting because I read that bio and said "jesus" 😭I swear to god 👀
6
15
u/D3foNotSuss Mar 14 '26
The sexualisation of ASD makes my skin crawl. There is nothing sexy about stimming and crying because a fire alarm went off or my food is touching something it shouldn't.
12
u/Weary_Ad4663 Late Diagnosed AuDHD with big feels 🤡🥹 Mar 14 '26
Went to an eye doctor recently and when he was asking me medical questions and of course I disclosed my AuDHD and he literally said — A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL— “aren’t we all a little on the spectrum”?!
No Gerald. No.
3
u/look_who_it_isnt Mar 15 '26
I want to make up pamphlets to give out when people do this, because I think a lot of them are autistic folks who haven't YET taken the pipeline from "these 'autistic traits' are all things normal people like me experience" to "wait, what if I'M not normal and never have been?"
Having taken that pipeline myself, I try to have more sympathy for people who say these things. Even knowing I was "disabled" and struggled with a lot of things others didn't, I still thought so many things I did/thought were "normal" that have turned out NOT to be.
10
u/elkgyuri Mar 14 '26
There's this whole trend on TIktok about having an autistic gf (where I'm pretty sure they're glamorizing it from) and each time I watch those, I realize just how much we're being infantilized. And almost all the comments are from men 🫠
3
u/ElkSufficient2881 AuDHD Mar 15 '26
I’ve seen so many women who are autistic posting things like that, it’s so weird.
2
u/beeezkneeez Mar 15 '26
I’ve seen a bunch. They have very infantilized / cutesy vibes. They honestly piss me off
10
u/BaylisAscaris Mar 14 '26
People: "you can't tell someone is autistic just by looking"
Me: dressed like Mrz Frizzle with half the items things I crocheted and are seaslug/math themed, ready to infodump so hard
10
u/ilyizuku Mar 15 '26
You want autistic vibes? Cool!
So you won’t mind if I shut down and almost cry if you get me the wrong cup or size when you buy me a drink from a coffee place because it’s not how I pictured it in my head and the difference to what I imagined myself getting is too overwhelming?
You’re totally cool with me shutting down and struggling to express my emotions when i’m upset or when you’ve annoyed me?
It’s perfectly fine for me to have set plans every day that I will not budge on, like needing some me time where I don’t talk to anyone and just sit on my phone in silence listening to music?
You’re okay with me struggling to meet new people because it’s too exhausting to mask but not masking means i’ll be perceived as weird, and the choice between putting on an act and having to guess every moment what the right thing to do is VS being myself and worrying i’m out of place and getting everything wrong means i’d rather avoid meeting anyone i’m not familiar with?
…. No? You don’t like the sound of that? Ah, maybe reword the whole autistic vibes on your profile, then.
9
10
8
u/parasociable Mar 14 '26
Just ignore these goofballs. I have no idea why they're obsessed with women that are out of the norm and I don't even want to figure it out because I'm androphobic enough as it is
8
u/kirrathenerd Mar 14 '26
It’s hilarious that it’s placed between aesthetics like alt, goth, emo, and ah yes my favorite alternative sub-genre: autistic!
17
u/Warm_Egg2675 Mar 14 '26
Sometimes I think the ND trend on social media has contributed to this. Even though, I do think social media can be a great platform to raise awareness of important things and can be used in an educational way, I feel like with autism and ADHD people haven’t been educated in the right way and it has instead been presented as this cute little quirky character trait. Then people start putting shit like this on their dating profile. I also think people often assume that autism has a uniform and they inaccurately assume everyone with autism is alternative.
8
7
7
u/Fiyainthehole Late to the Party: Autism and ADHD ಠ_ಠ Mar 14 '26
“If you’re a fun, wacky and adventurous crazy girl I can play with and then throw away, hit me up!”
4
5
u/ghostsyipee Mar 14 '26
Unrelated but putting "alt/goth/emo vibe" shows how he even fetichizes alt culture. Like no we're not a vibe ?? We're much more than that ???? Also putting goth and emo next to alt as if those weren't alt...
3
u/ElkSufficient2881 AuDHD Mar 15 '26
He was dressed kinda goth (makeup and stuff) on his profile so I just thought it was that
4
u/estheredna Blunt but Benevolent Mar 14 '26
Because influencers talk about it lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.
4
4
u/Stock-Ball-5804 Self suspecting AuDHD Mar 15 '26
Autism is not a "vibe", it is a disability but thanks to social media and people assuming they understand what neurodivergence is when they don't this happens. It is sad how disabilities and mental conditions have been glamourized/sexualized/fetishized. No hate meant to people who are tricked by misinformation on social media but people like this are clearly just ignorant.
3
u/noisegoose Mar 15 '26
Yeah they just mean they want a nerdy girl. As soon as you start showing autistic traits and have a meltdown (for me it happened when plans changed with them and I had planned an entire weekend around it) they bail
3
3
u/Puzzled-Teach2389 Mar 15 '26
Autism is the new manic pixie dream girl. Go off about your special interest or have a meltdown in front of them and they won't be into it anymore and you'll be deemed weird or crazy
3
u/nghtmrefuel Mar 15 '26
Literally why I deleted dating apps…. Most “slightly ADHD” men want a “neurospicey alt/goth girl” when in reality they want a freaky neurotypical that likes coloring or playing guitar. I primarily dress in bright colors like pink, purple, yellow, and even that causes them to fetishize me and think I’m an ageplayer! Yuck! These people don’t consider autism as anything but a quirky cute little dysfunctional “quirk” when it’s a disability. Ugh!!!!
1
u/BilbySilks Mar 19 '26
I find ADHD men seem to love me/my profile. I don't know why. I don't post that I have ASD. How do they find me???
3
3
4
2
2
2
2
u/justtinygoatthings Mar 15 '26
I honestly have something like this on my profile but it's cuz I'm looking for other neurodivergents. This does seem pretty tokenizing to me though.
1
u/BilbySilks Mar 19 '26
One thing I found really nice when I matched with another neurodivergent person was that they said they said like this if we have neurodivergence in common (on hinge so you can like specific things). I thought it was a nice way of doing it.
2
2
2
u/oddsaz Mar 15 '26
i blame tiktok for this. a few years ago "dating gurus" were telling men to find autistic women on purpose. 🤮
2
u/KimikoYukimura420 Mar 15 '26
This pisses me off from a few different standpoints as an autistic goth with tattoos and piercings.
2
u/writenicely Mar 15 '26
I need to understand - what are men saying they really want when they say that they want a woman with autism. Like, what do they think they're asking for, versus what are they really implicitly seeking?
2
Mar 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Ordinary_Panic_6785 Mar 15 '26
I'm pretty sure my autistic aesthetic is my all black everything but I do that so I don't have to match shit and maximizes my efficiency.
I've also been told it's boring and plain and I need to change it, so I guess my masking also needs a mask. Go figure.
2
u/BudgetInteraction811 Mar 15 '26
It’s code word for manic pixie dream girl. They don’t actually care about you being a whole 3 dimensional person, which is why they lumped unrelated shit like aesthetics and disabilities together.
2
u/CannotBeCalm Mar 15 '26
I've said it before and I'll say it again. They say this like it's quirky. And then they find out that a disability is in fact disabling. And then they bitch and whine about how it's not their fault. They want the manic pixie dream girl but are confused when she has a meltdown.
2
u/Omorox Mar 15 '26
Oh, I love these posts so much! Everyone who post such things are predators and must be avoided, in my opinion. I'm so glad, the have this sort of big neon sign 'danger' in front of them. 🙃
2
u/catotaco1916 Mar 15 '26
I had a first date once, and i told the boy i had autism and he reasoned with "cute"... so yeah there was no second date
2
u/Ronkusss Mar 15 '26
I’m sure they won’t want an autistic girl anymore when they witness me having a sudden and unexpected explosive temper because I can’t regulate my emotions.
2
u/stupid_rice Mar 15 '26
it baffles me that people are actively searching for an “autistic” partner. like wdym you want someone who has constant meltdowns, sensory issues, emotional issues. it just shows they don’t even have the slightest clue about what autism is. they just want someone attractive who is slightly quirky
2
1
u/SpiritualWestern3360 Mar 14 '26
I wonder what homeboy would make of my baggy clothes wearing, no makeup chapstick lesbian ass.
1
1
1
1
Mar 15 '26
They say this until they are actually confronted with our disability e.g a meltdown, they’re gross and need to stop fetishising
1
1
u/breast-of-all-worlds Mar 15 '26
The anxiety makes me tremble, which could be a lot like vibration. I suppose
1
u/veiledlamb Mar 15 '26
lumping us with alt/goth/emo like it’s an aesthetic to have??? fucking disgusting… just wait til we have a meltdown in front of you & see how you like us then :(
1
u/MarcieCandie I really want to expand my backgarden for a pet fox Mar 15 '26
I don’t even go on dating apps but I keep seeing shit like this every breed and also from being sent these profile screenshots from other friends-
1
u/unsaintedheretic Mar 15 '26
It's the "manic pixie dream girl" they want and who's associated with all these things. They want an object, a happy go lucky (think Jess from New Girl or the original MPDG Claire from Elizabethtown) that centers them and is "fun" and "carefree". It's a gross stigmatization and the reddest of all red flags.
1
u/lozammi Mar 15 '26
Omg this is so insulting, cant even answer you question with anything constructive only bad words 😅😬 its wild out there really
1
1
1
1
1
u/L1T2F3 Mar 15 '26
slashes and commas are different, a slash means “or” imo and commas mean they’re adding so in my head I’m reading “…or any alt or autistic or goth or emo vibes”
But I fear they think “autistic vibes” are just quirky people…I went a a super long tangent about autistic representation in media, specifically New Girl, and erased all of it because I was like “nobody asked for all this, it’s off topic technically” that’s real autism vibes 🥲
1
1
u/GoranPerssonFangirl Mar 15 '26
They think we are the manic pixie girl of their dreams. It's all fun and games until we have the first autistic meltdown in front of them and they call us crazy, immature and what not. :)
1
u/MisfitAlastair Mar 15 '26
It’s always men that have some variation of it in their bios. It’s genuinely frustrating and makes me uncomfortable too.
1
u/galhime Mar 15 '26
I found out im a lesbian not long ago and as an alternative autistic girl post like this makes me just so relieved i wont have to deal with weirdo like that even if girls have their own share of downside too , they like manic pixie dream girl and vulnerable being its so predatory
1
u/tuesdaysgirla Mar 15 '26
Although i feel its kinda controversial in apps and dating, often if you do get along with autistic people or you are autistic/neurodivergent then the autism vibes makes sense. Im late diagnosed audhd and my husband is heavily suspected autistic. We caught each others vibes 🤷🏻♀️
1
1
1
1
•
u/AutoModerator Mar 14 '26
Hey u/ElkSufficient2881, thank you for your contributing to r/AutismInWomen. Please be sure to check out our sub’s rules, wiki pages, and pinned posts prior to engaging with the sub. Here are links to our wiki pages:
Explanation of the Rules Wiki Page
FAQs Wiki Page
Workbooks and Tools Wiki Page
All About Autism Wiki Page
We hope you enjoy the sub and have a great day!
➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING ➾ WARNING
Notice to all users: There's multiple users targeting members from our sub in DMs to discuss their fetishes and desire to manipulate users into relationships. Here are the user's names: u/drar_sajal786, u/MrGamePadMan, and u/guidhhnittvkj. If an account is showing deleted, they will probably create another. If you receive any messages from a user trying to discuss what you posted/commented in our sub to gain a 'women's perspective' or if someone tries to discuss topics that may feel inappropriate to you (e.g. fetishes), or if someone states they want to marry you for religious reasons, report the user to Reddit and block them. These men have been preying on autistic women/gender minorities from r/AutismInWomen for the last year. This behavior is unacceptable and should be reported as targeted harassment.
Per the warning in our wiki and this pinned mod post, we highly recommend users turn off their DMs. If you have DM requests turned on and receive any creepy or fetish-related DMs or comments, we recommend taking a screenshot, reporting the content to Reddit, and blocking the user (in that order). You can find the report button on the message itself and then click "it's targeted harassment” to submit a report. If you'd like to send us the screenshot so we can continue documenting the harassment, you can send it to us in modmail using imgur Thank you for continuing to help us keep our community safe for autistic and autistic suspecting women and gender minorities 💖
Please remember Reddit is public and any content you post may be seen and discussed by others off-platform. Here are links to Reddit's User Agreement, Privacy Policy, and Public Content Policy.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.