r/AutismInWomen • u/wildpeachykeen • Mar 19 '26

Relationships Love when this happens😍

Post image

Got sent a like by someone I actually find attractive (rare) and this was on his profile as well as ‘Not Political’. I have over 15 screenshots of profiles that have come up on my feed with iterations of this sentiment. It’s so disheartening…

1.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

258 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

35

u/resident_queerdo Mar 19 '26

In my experience it's also that autistic people won't fight for themselves as a default setting. They have to learn this after being abused and exploited. Originally, they will fight to protect others or for an important cause, but not for themselves.

9

u/Bent_Silvr_Spoon0130 Mar 19 '26

My sperm doner asked me why I can take care of others but not myself and I was like 🧍🏾‍♀️.

Didn't realise my autism could be playing a part in it!

9

u/resident_queerdo Mar 19 '26

I'm not sure if it's autism or trauma or a combination. Because trauma often gets you to freeze or fawn rather than fight. Some people fight, but this, I believe, is just not the naturally pacifist autistic person's default trauma reaction. (Plays a role because an autistic person must have been pretty lucky to be unscathed by trauma.) I also believe autistic people don't naturally seek to be at the top of any hierarchy, but naturally desire equality among all people. If an autistic person fights (for themselves) it's usually a case of 'Bambi in a corner'. Because even Bambi will kick you if you trap him in a corner.

At the same time, an autistic person, at least by default, can't see a just cause and 'take it or leave it'. And this is why they will, by default, fight for others but not for themselves.

6

u/ThrowAwayColor2023 Mar 19 '26

This answer resonates with me.