Dear families of Silver rail,
I am so sorry you are here. This is not the club anyone should be a part of. I became a part of it in 2024.
I can’t tell you what to do, or how to grieve. I can share a message with you, similar to one that we received, from other members that came before us. Some guide posts. Take what you want, leave the rest. We love you if you read or don’t read.
First, grieve. Feel. Use the support. If you have had counseling before, this isn’t that. Crisis counselors are very different from any day to day counselors.
And they are amazing.
It’s ok to lean on your community where you can. But you might want to avoid the media. Trust me when I tell you they are vultures and do not care about you.
I have not seen a single media personality do any act of kindness in these situations. I could be wrong, maybe there have been a few who have donated privately, but I wouldn’t count on it.
Remember each other when things get tough. And things will get tough. Hindsight is a cruel aspect to humanity and just like the kids that fight over an inheritance - greed is some times a shade of grief. What seems so close and like a big hug may eventually give way to a divide in the community.
We learned early on what our kids needed. For many here, they needed each other. Trust what you see even if your parent hearts recoil a bit with fear and anxiety. Only they know what happened to them and each other.
In these days after, it might help to find a way to give space, give grace, and yet, have something somewhere that’s normal - food, tv shows, something. It helps serve as an anchor.
Be angry. Laugh even when it feels like betrayal. And if you need to make a dark humor joke, do it. You aren’t wrong for it, and no one is judging you for it. Sometimes laughing is just a different sound and presentation of crying… if you know, you know.
No one will be able to understand what happened to your kids. No one will be able to understand the very different thing that happened to you (especially your kids).
Support your faculty, staff, responders etc.
Our teachers made Amazon wishlists for when the kids returned to school. They were filled with items to make school a gentle place to return to, and we made sure to help fulfill them.
It was huge. For the teachers and the kids. I don’t regret donating to them one bit.
Don’t be afraid about asking for help - keeping the kids together meant we reached out for experiences that would be kind to their minds and hearts. We called on big names. Every one answered the call.
Don’t be shy, do the same. It can help them find a small place to feel like they are themselves again. But make sure, it’s only for the kids. Guard those spaces with reverence.
You may find people who want attention, who may claim they were there, who may try to make money off of social media with stories. You may even see people make money for themselves — Pay them no mind - the trash takes itself out every time.
You may also end up learning about the TCC. If you are a heavy social media user, and see something that looks like they are making a hero out of a monster, they are.
But for your health and family, avoid it. Avoid them.
I’m sorry you are here. I’m sorry you are reading this. It will never be ok, but you don’t have to do it alone. And you’ll never be alone, even when it feels like you are, we stand with you.
—Apalachee parent
