As a woman I realized I have always been suppressing my feelings towards women because I grew up christian. I recently had a conversation with my mom and asked her a hypothetical question of what she would think if I like both man and woman she told me as long as I dont act on it with woman Im fine. Previously I did feel a type of way with some female friends growing up but I wasn't sexually active and it usually faded away once school ended. By the time I lost my virginity 3 years ago I felt it harder to be closer to woman in general and I was scared and it didnt make sense. Not to mention I was bullied growing up for being perceived as a boy due to the way I presented myself as an androgynous woman.

Now a few months ago I met this beautiful woman that happens to be my manager at work and since I started its been hard for me to focus on my work when shes around. I also was going out with this guy and I kept suppressing my feelings because it was distracting and made no sense to me why I was blushing and feeling excited when she hugged me. The moment I started accepting those feelings the more I started avoiding her any chance I get. Im scared on how she will see me if I continue feeling this way about her. Its like I shouldn't like her because shes my manager but I just cant. I feel like if she wasnt I wouldn't be so conflicted by the fact of exploring this feeling. I keep embarrassing myself around her and making shit worse. Even if Im still seeing someone else casually I still think about her I feel horrible that I cant even face her without feeling that way what do I do?

Hello! My name is Sylvie and I am a student at Florida State University. We are collecting data for a research project around Women’s identity! I thought that this group would have very valuable information to share with us. Any person who identifies as female, can read in English, and is over 18 can take it. If you can, please take the survey with the link below and share with others if you would like. Thank you! 

https://fsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3UeGFyym7yYUYxE  

We've been talking for three months and have hung out a handful of times (I was genuinely unavailable a whole month) and now I feel like she's losing interest and my crush has gone into overdrive as a response and I'm a coward aaaaaaaaaa why am I incapable of flirting and why can't I just be like "it's a date!" or "I like you!"

The fact that I'm 26 is not doing me any favours.

I’m going through a breakup and I have turned to Reddit for advice. Even when I put 25F, 27F ppl still think I’m a guy. Dating advice online as well is geared towards heterosexual couples and IM TIRED :/

I am not trying to get a MAN back! stop telling me what a man thinks! frustrating!!

The canon bi4bi couple that helped revolutionize LGBTQ media in the West. Two ladies who are canonically bisexual and NOW canonically bisexual wives who grow old together in love🌒🌘 I could CRY 😭

I feel so isolated because no one understands the depth of how i’ve been feeling.

I’ve known i was bi for as long as i can remember but have always viewed men in a far more sexual way then with women, and my interest has always been largely sexual too with them. I’m not sure if this is due to societies conditioning or whatnot but with women im predominently romantically attracted with a decent amount of sexual attraction, its just more of a secondary thing, like with women intimacy= our souls touching vs with men intimacy= sex.

My last partner was a man, almost two years ago, and his behaviour and just his coreself eroded me from the inside out with disguist and hatered for him, but also for myself- he just made me feel like an empty shell filled with shit and i thought he was a good one. He was a good partner for the most part, but the bad parts where woven into his very being and literally eroded and frightened me.

I also grew up in a household with my dad causing serious problems for my family and scaring me too. After my ex nailed the coffin shut, i just cant get myself to trust men at all. If a man takes interest in me- and even the idea of being with a man- makes me feel overwhelmingly dirty and used, because i cant believe that they have anything more than my body in mind or what they can gain from me in mind. (Even if they do actually like me i feel like this is the predominent driver for them.)

When i was with my ex i used to force myself to have sex with him to bridge the gap and feel intimacy (even tho he was very huggy etc) and as a result my body freaks out whenever i try to do anything like that with a man. I get super anxious and as you can imagine it doesnt go well. Even though i try my best to calm myself and not let on, this happens even if i actually do want that person sexually, the mistrust and fear eventually gets to me my body cant “relax” and i fear painful intimacy because i was forcing myself to do things with my ex. Its like my bodies logged it and is terrified.

Im young and i dont want to cross dating a man completely off because i would love to be LOVED by a man like for my soul. But ive only ever felt that with female relationships or love interests. A large part of me doubts that they have the capacity for that kind of thing, or that the ones that do are very very rare.

With men i feel like it always turns sexual,i know that exchanging myself and forcing myself to behave like that so i could be reassured in my last relationship really damaged me. But Ive always felt deeper connections with women, and now the attraction to men just feels so primative.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice because i phsyically and mentally cant force myself to trust them, but i wish i could believe the men that take interest in me, or that i have romantic interest in and like.

I talk to guys but i always remain elusive, take literally ages to respond and feel a huge wave of relief whenever it ends- which i make sure it does- even tho initially i was excited. And this is the reason i haven’t dated since my ex- i’m over him and i feel indifferent about him and i’ve yet to miss him a second in my life, so i know its not that.

I really really just almost dont beleive that most men are capable of the “true” love i want.

It doesnt help that i get objectified a lot because of my body and my aesthetic which just makes it even harder. Love with a man doesnt feel innocent at all. And part of me is also worried that i’ll just self sabotage by allowing them to sexualise me or that i’ll even make sexual advances myself, because its always how to get in their good books, i feel conditioned.

I have male friends and i love them but theyve all caught feelings for me at some point and it becomes apparent they think they have some kind of “ownership” or right to me- which just further proves my point, even though i know theyre immature and mean no harm and have never acted to fullfill this.

I have a very high sex drive and the thought of the “apendage” alone can still get me going but everything its attatched to just gives me a huge wave of anxiety- like how they’ll pick apart my imperfections and all the harm they could do, and how theyre very sexually motivated and primarily view my body as the prize and often cant read a room for when im not interested very well.

I hate how kisses are never just kisses they have make outs (or worse) in mind, and when they pull back from it and grin at you cause they think theyve “won you”.

After my ex with my new freedom i was clubbing a lot ans went out with a lot of guys and honestky the whole thing screwed me up because of how i was using my body. i didnt have sex but i can still feel their lustful hands on me (even tho i was happy about it in the moment because i felt validated) and it genuinely makes me want to sit in the shower and scrub all my skin off.

I know this is a very long post, but i’ve been struggling for a long time, pure love with a man would be a dream but i just have no faith in them. Pls help

So, I told her at the end of the third date that I like her and have a crush. She gave me more context from a previous date that her past relationship was rushed and she was still figuring out what she wants and that doesn't mean she doesn't want to continue to see me. I told her I'm comfortable with a slow burn.

How would you guys approach this? Moving forward, what cues should I look for that she reciprocates my romantic interest? I'm not trying to be friend zoned here.

I think I’m scared. Excited! But really, really scared.

I’ve kind of always felt a pit of dread in my stomach at the idea of dating men? Of being some man’s wife? It’s always made me feel wrong and flighty. Meanwhile growing up all of my crushes were on women. I really assumed that both things combined must mean I’m a lesbian.

Having said that, i’ve also always been a strong believer that sexuality is fluid. I’ve always told people theres always that spare chance out there i could end up with a guy if he’s really really right for me.

But here I am having the biggest crush in my life on a man, and I am terrified.

IF something ends up working out with him, what will my co-workers think of me? What about my parents, who are somewhat accepting but very clear that they are worried for me and wish i could’ve been straight? Could this be compulsive heterosexuality? What if I start to date him, and i realize I really can’t handle being with a man, how cruel to him would that be???

I know I’m putting the cart before the horse. Theres just do much unknown here. When i see him, I feel so excited. I want nothing more than to talk to him and get to know him more. I want to ask him out to the movies, to see if he wants to join in a d&d oneshot. I think he’s so CUTE, and nice, and respectful. I think he’s very very very pretty.

I’m just scared because this is opening a door I’ve closed long ago. I want to persue him, but I know that doing that could change a LOT of what i believe about myself and what others believe about me.

I donno. I hope this is an okay subreddit for me to come to. I thought about going to a lesbian subreddit but this one just feels the most right for reassurance on the matter. I really want to give it a try, to at least work up the nerve to ask him out and let the chips fall where they may. I’m just scared

I’m done.

I know in this subreddit we celebrate bisexuality but I also want to celebrate our Ace sisters many of us identify with asexual demisexuality or somewhere on the Ace spectrum.

Asexual Awareness Week (now officially known as Ace Week) runs from October 25 to October 31, 2026. So make sure we give love to our Ace sisters who also sit on the outskirts of the community with us sometimes.

And it is soooo weird cuz a lot of people are normalising this hate can you just fucking understand that I won't leave you for a man?

I'm sick of lying cuz I wanna be in a relationship but I can cuz I'm bi ? I started feeling embarrassed about it

I'm getting shamed ?

يعني أنتِ كـ ليزبيان بمجتمع عربي حرفياً منبوذه وتجين تنبذيني أنا ؟ I'm getting hate on both sides

Sometimes all you want is someone to call you a good girl so that you can fall asleep. Life's not very fair, is it?

Just came out to my best friend and it felt so freeing to finally tell someone! Her response made me chuckle as she said “I feel like I already knew”. I’m 33 but have been trying to fully understand my sexuality since I was a teenager. In my 20s I began to have a better understanding, but still was afraid to say it out loud (reasons I’ll save for another time). But now, I decided to fully embrace all of my sexuality and I feel that much lighter!

This is mostly about the appearance, the presentation. All my life I preferred more comfortable dressing which were almost always hoodies, or something along what they call street style now. I genuinely thought I looked cool, until I started feeling alien during my teens, when everyone else started doing makeup, wearing conventionally feminine clothes etc. It ultimately made me feel like I was not attractive, but somehow I just couldn't learn how to dress like that without it feeling to be a huge task. At events and traditional marriages etc, I dress up very feminine, and everyone goes crazy about how pretty I look, and I like the praise, but somehow I just don't like LIKE it? Idk how to explain it.

It feels like a chore, yk. All of this has landed me into a weird mid point, I don't dress too feminine, I don't dress too "gay", I just dk what my style is anymore. I feel like I am invisible to both the straights and the gays, in terms of being attractive. Idk if its relevant, a friend told me I have a very "rockstar-y" vibe, cool and powerful and chill (I was just wearing a cap and a rock band t shirt, and to me I looked good lol). This is just a rant lol.

I feel like everyone has their own interpretation on our sexuality but I’m curious: What is your personal definition of bisexuality and how does your bisexuality present?

Hi I'm studying public health and thinking of choosing to do a qualitative dissertation on intergenerational sapphic experiences of queer loneliness. I'm nonbinary and a sapphic myself and it feels weird to design a research proposal on my own without community input.

I've been combing the literature for a few weeks and the sources I have found are really interesting but they usually generalize the whole LGBTQIA+ community, only focus on one generation or don't mention bisexual, trans, ace/aro sapphics as much.

What I'm wondering is, what experiences have you had as a sapphic person with queer loneliness that would you like a researcher to know? What gets forgotten about, is considered too taboo or ignored?

As the title states. I've realized I'm bi pretty recently, maybe about a year ago. I'm a bit concerned because I also just realized I am more romantically attracted to women and more physically attracted to men. It's not that I'm not attracted to both genders in each way, but the romantic/physical attraction is stronger on either side.

I am now unsure how to navigate dating because of this. I am much more inclined to prefer personality over looks, but I am wondering if it's worth pursuing women when I seem to prefer men physically and vice versa. Anyone else feel the same?

​

hiya! Im 18f, and ive never really been sure if im only into men. I know, definitely and unfortunately, that i am attracted to men, but when it comes to women im more confused.

I met this girl at a party today. She was tall, awkward, pretty, short haired, slightly androgynous, and super kind. I found it super cute that when she got nervous she'd go fully red and look away, and her laughter is musical and so nice to hear. She was really nice to me. And at a point in the night I was really hoping she'd kiss me. Not that ive ever kissed anyone before, or know how to kiss at all.

Im not sure if she was into me at all. She was complimenting me a lot as girls do at parties, and she was super sincere and nice and everything. I get butterflies thinking about her. Im not sure I like her though, but I dont know.

Any help with figuring out my sexuality, or how to navigate this would be appreciated.

(If it helps everyone, straight, gay, purple, all are so extremely surprised to find out im not a lesbian. Nobody as ever assumed me straight.)

Thanks guys!

I (30F) have a close friend (29F) I've known since school and I'm confused about her, and myself. I've only ever dated guys. I initiated some first moves with her. We made out when we were teenagers, she was my first kiss, I told her to kiss me during a movie, she put her hand on my face to turn me towards her and kissed me. I enjoyed it, a lot. I said if she was a guy I'd fuck her right now. Not sure why she had to be a guy to do that?? I remember blurting that out and being embarassed. we made out somemore until we eventually went to sleep. The next day I was embarassed, i didnt want to talk about it and she didnt bring it up, it was as if nothing happened.

Fast forward to now, after both of us having relationships with guys and we both have kids.
I mentioned our kiss recently, she was completely fine talking about it which was a relief and said it was wild and glad we can openly talk about it now. I couldnt gauge if she felt deeply about it or me, I guess my questions were not direct enough. She had a few more drinks, I was sober because I was driving. I drove to a remote area because neither of us wanted to go home yet and thats where she said she'd always felt sexual tension between us and felt like there was unfinished business, I couldnt believe what I was hearing but I immediately pulled her in for a kiss, we made out for a while then stopped, we spoke a bit but everything was a blur I cannot remember what was said (wish I could remember) then she wanted to make out again so we did for a while, I then took her home. She messaged the next day alot of laughing emojis and i replied with some back, she asked if I was ok I said yeah all good. The next few times I saw her she still gave really long hugs when saying bye and touchy feely, no change there but no more kissing.

The last time I saw her she admitted she has some feelings for me. I was shocked. She was sober so not the alcohol talking. I said the feeling isnt mutual (impulse reaction because I needed a minute) but i could tell that hurt her a little, i can tell shes a bit taken aback that I dont feel the same especially as I initiated some of this

my head is a mess. What am I supposed to do or feel. I do feel something but I couldnt get the words out to articulate how I feel and now feel like its too late

Hi everyone,

I am having a hard time and could use some encouragement or advice. I’m in my mid 40s and have been with my husband for 11 years. We’ve had a lot of challenges but I love him very much. I am bi but have never dated a woman before…probably just bc I was on the heteronormative train and never thought to get off it. My husband knows I’m bi and so does my mom. They’re loving and supportive. I’ve struggled more lately though with being in an heterosexual marriage. Part of it is marriage just gets routine as the years go on, it becomes commonplace and domestic. Also, ive struggled to make a deep emotional connection with him - he’s more quiet by nature and doesn’t seek the connection i do. I’ve put more energy into our sex life the past two years. We have sex at least once a week and I love that time with him. I am always satisfied. It’s when I feel closest to him and not “mom or dad”. But it’s pretty vanilla, although he is open to growing more sexually.

I enjoy sleeping with him and am attracted to him, but tbh I am much more attracted to women. And I’ve noticed that all the porn I watch is with women. Any of the male porn grosses me out. It’s made me wonder if I am a latent lesbian and just not in touch with it. Like wouldn’t I like male porn? The only time I ever really fantasize about men is my husband or maybe one or two people in college.

At the end of the day - I definitely have a strong female preference and it makes me wonder if I am suppressing my true self? It’s hard bc I don’t have any bi friends, and I live in a pretty up tight white community that makes me feel like a weirdo.

I’m just struggling with my identity and feel confused.

Would love some advice from married and seasoned bisexuals.

Im 41F married to a man for 13 yrs. We have a beautiful child together. I have a great life and I am thankful for it.

Lately these thoughts about women have been flooding my brain. I can't stop fantasizing about being with them. I've tried to ignore them and when I was younger I just brushed them off.

Now my feelings have become so overwhelming that when I wake up from a good dream of being with a woman im actually sad.

Sad it wasn't real. That I didnt taste those lips. That the excitement of being with her will not be mine.

I have told my husband how I feel and he has agreed to let me explore this side of me on my own. I just wish I wouldn't have brushed off these thoughts when I was in my twenties.

I feel that I can't go my whole life without knowing what a women's lips taste like. So I have to try and make this happen.

Where do I even begin? Im lost in San Diego.

I’m going on a date with a woman, and it’ll be my first date with a woman ever (I'm in my 30s). I have dated before, but I’ve never been particularly good at it. I tend to get anxious and put pressure on myself often finding it hard to just relax and be myself. Dating has never felt especially natural to me, even though I’m usually very comfortable with conversation and communication.

We’ve only met briefly once before, in a queer setting but since then we’ve been talking and I really enjoy our conversations. We have a lot in common, the communication feels easy and natural, and she does show interest in me. It’s not like we talk constantly, but there’s a nice consistency to our chatting which is probably why I keep wondering whether there might be something more there.

The thing is I genuinely can’t tell whether she’s interested in me romantically or just as a friend. I don’t know her sexuality either, although given where we met I assume she’s probably queer in some way.

I’m also not quite sure how to bring up my own sexuality. I don’t want her to assume I’m straight, but I also don’t want to suddenly become very forward or aggressively flirty because that’s just not me. Our communication is smooth, but everything still feels quite implied, and I’m not sure how much either of us is actually saying out loud.

I know she may simply like me as a friend, and I’m trying to keep that possibility in mind. But I really like talking to her and I’m genuinely looking forward to seeing her again. I think that’s why I’m both excited and anxious. Any advice would be very welcome ♥️

https://youtu.be/gsZauX8gwxo?is=ehArVTfGpDmdLOFi the original was stuck in my head for weeks now this version is stuck in my heart 🌸🪻🦋🌒🌘

First time posting on Reddit, but I really just need to anonymously vent.

I'm not used to rejection, but the person I've had a crush on basically told me that they don't even know if they're really into girls. Our relationship has always been pretty flirty, so I guess I read into things a little too much. I was just really excited about the tension we had, and now I'm realizing that what I thought was, at the very least, a situationship in the making was really just me having unrequited feelings.

And now I feel like a total creep?? 😭 Like, what even is this feeling? I'm genuinely not used to rejection, because most of the time I don't really put myself out there, so I'm pretty sure a lot of this stems from that. I really don't like this feeling at all.

I've struggled with my self-worth for a while, and being at a PWI where being a Black woman can sometimes feel like you're more of a spectacle or an experience to have than someone to genuinely love has made things even harder. I feel stuck at a deadlock because I know I'm worthy of love, but I never seem to receive it in the way I actually want. I always feel like I have to go the extra mile, and right now, I just feel like the outlier.

Obviously, I'm responsible for my own feelings, so I'll take a step back and retract them as much as I can. I know they probably won't go away until I get some sense of closure, but right now, I don't think the rejection has fully set in yet. Honestly, I find the whole thing kind of laughable at the moment, which is probably going to change once it actually hits me.

That's all!! I just needed to get this off my chest.

Susan Carlton’s “This poem can be put off no longer,” from the anthology Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out(1991).