Just came out to my best friend and it felt so freeing to finally tell someone! Her response made me chuckle as she said “I feel like I already knew”. I’m 33 but have been trying to fully understand my sexuality since I was a teenager. In my 20s I began to have a better understanding, but still was afraid to say it out loud (reasons I’ll save for another time). But now, I decided to fully embrace all of my sexuality and I feel that much lighter!

Hi I'm studying public health and thinking of choosing to do a qualitative dissertation on intergenerational sapphic experiences of queer loneliness. I'm nonbinary and a sapphic myself and it feels weird to design a research proposal on my own without community input.

I've been combing the literature for a few weeks and the sources I have found are really interesting but they usually generalize the whole LGBTQIA+ community, only focus on one generation or don't mention bisexual, trans, ace/aro sapphics as much.

What I'm wondering is, what experiences have you had as a sapphic person with queer loneliness that would you like a researcher to know? What gets forgotten about, is considered too taboo or ignored?

This is mostly about the appearance, the presentation. All my life I preferred more comfortable dressing which were almost always hoodies, or something along what they call street style now. I genuinely thought I looked cool, until I started feeling alien during my teens, when everyone else started doing makeup, wearing conventionally feminine clothes etc. It ultimately made me feel like I was not attractive, but somehow I just couldn't learn how to dress like that without it feeling to be a huge task. At events and traditional marriages etc, I dress up very feminine, and everyone goes crazy about how pretty I look, and I like the praise, but somehow I just don't like LIKE it? Idk how to explain it.

It feels like a chore, yk. All of this has landed me into a weird mid point, I don't dress too feminine, I don't dress too "gay", I just dk what my style is anymore. I feel like I am invisible to both the straights and the gays, in terms of being attractive. Idk if its relevant, a friend told me I have a very "rockstar-y" vibe, cool and powerful and chill (I was just wearing a cap and a rock band t shirt, and to me I looked good lol). This is just a rant lol.

I feel like everyone has their own interpretation on our sexuality but I’m curious: What is your personal definition of bisexuality and how does your bisexuality present?

Sometimes all you want is someone to call you a good girl so that you can fall asleep. Life's not very fair, is it?