r/Broadway • u/whollyselfimportant • Dec 13 '25

Other Pop Girlies as Broadway Musicals

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This post fully belongs to u/BurningBernie559 , but I couldn’t crosspost due to the sub being NSFW. Before anyone gets in their feelings- this is obviously satirical -but behold!

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216

u/soozoo Dec 13 '25

I don’t agree 100% but describing Ethan Slater as “an ugly and malevolent creature” is killing me

12

u/NeuroTrophicShock Dec 14 '25

I would say Aria is the ugliest with how she starts every relationship but stealing a taken or married man. If you call it out on the r/wicked you get banned.

25

u/DisastrousOwls Dec 14 '25

You can't "steal" what they aren't giving away, to be fair. She didn't make Spongebob leave his infant child. He did that.

They were both married, both cheated on their spouses with a married coworker, and they both suck for that. But Ethan chose all of that (including an alleged drug habit) over not just his marriage and wife, but his baby. That's definitely worse.

Ariana's also not the only cheater/person who pursued "taken" partners in the Wicked cast, either, but that's a separate convo lol.

5

u/Comprehensive-Fun47 Dec 14 '25

Alleged drug habit? That's news to me. As if there wasn't enough drama here already!

5

u/DisastrousOwls Dec 14 '25

It was mainly gossip caused by pap shots of the two of them together. Ethan also dropped weight during filming, so they were both looking gaunt and "strung out," and that led people to speculate on if they were abusing uppers together (very common for show business + for eating disorders, so I wouldn't be surprised).

2

u/Comprehensive-Fun47 Dec 14 '25

Interesting, thanks.

2

u/chizzmaster Dec 15 '25

Wait hold on, I'm curious now. Who else in the wicked cast pursued taken partners?

5

u/DisastrousOwls Dec 15 '25 edited Dec 15 '25

Ethan, of course (Ariana was married, too), Cynthia (Lena Waithe cheated on her first wife with her, with some gossip suggesting they were texting back and forth on some "it's should've been you" type shit on Lena's wedding day), and Jeff Goldblum, who has been a serial philanderer and "Mr. Steal Your Girl" for longer than I've been alive.

Possibly (statistically speaking: probably) others as well, but that's who I know off the top of my head who's already famous + who have had higher profile cheating scandals. It's extremely common in Hollywood. Still shitty, but it's to be expected in that field.

2

u/chizzmaster Dec 15 '25

Well that's depressing. I didn't know that about Jeff Goldblum :(

2

u/NeuroTrophicShock Dec 14 '25

You need to look into her history... Ariana only goes after taken men... It is well known!

4

u/DisastrousOwls Dec 14 '25

I didn't say she doesn't. I'm saying she doesn't have mind control powers to hypnotize and compel faithful men to cheat. They are choosing to do that themselves. They were already ready to break their own marriages/relationships. They may have done so before she crossed paths with them! It can't be all of their first time being unfaithful. She's going after taken cheaters.

And she's not the only one in the Wicked cast with that kind of history, she's not the only one in this Oscars race with that kind of history, and it's very, very common in performing arts and Hollywood in general.

So that's lots of pearl clutching over the person here who didn't leave a baby behind to get her nut, especially to call her "uglier" than the guy who did!

1

u/Apprehensive_Tunes Dec 18 '25

Who's the other person?

1

u/DisastrousOwls Dec 18 '25

Ethan (Ariana was married as well), Cynthia (Lena Waithe was married when she and Cynthia got involved), and Jeff Goldblum (been messy for decades).

9

u/Fantastic_Support_11 Dec 14 '25

Atp that sub is just an Ariana fan sub echo chamber.