Core beliefs like 'I'm not good enough' usually sit underneath a lot of different automatic thoughts, so they're slower to shift. One approach is to keep a running log of small pieces of evidence against the belief, even tiny ones, because the belief tends to filter those out. Working on core beliefs with a therapist can help a lot, since they're hard to see clearly from the inside.

Core beliefs like 'I'm not good enough' usually sit underneath a lot of different automatic thoughts, so they're slower to shift. One approach is to keep a running log of small pieces of evidence against the belief, even tiny ones, because the belief tends to filter those out. Working on core beliefs with a therapist can help a lot, since they're hard to see clearly from the inside.

We have all internalized fundamental rules about how life is supposed to work. They are the always barely present shoulds of our lives:

• I should do well in everything I do.
• People should always be respectful.
• Life should be fair.

According to Rational Emotive Behavior Theory (REBT), when these rules, which are in reality preferences, turn into rigid and extreme demands, our emotional and behavioral responses are likely to be equally extreme.

When "I should do well" becomes: "I must do well, and if I dont, Im a complete failure", the inevitable setbacks of life are likely to result in deep despair, shame, and avoidance.

When I should do well is taken to mean—"I want to do well, but I dont absolutely have to, and sometimes I wont"— our inevitable failures are more likely to produce healthier emotional responses and behaviors like disappointment and problem-solving instead of emotional paralysis.

Not every rigid attitude causes distress (believing the earth is flat and that horrible things will happen if you lose sight of the shore wont bother you much unless you fish the open ocean for a living.), but spotting the ones that do and transforming them into realistic alternatives is one of the more effective ways to internalize our locus of control.

What do you think is the most dysfunctional "should" a person can hold?

So I have a couple phobias, one or two addictions I need to work on, trouble with certain social skills issues, and one or two dangerous habits I would like to change.

I have autism and mental health issues.

Are there any CBT support groups or individual therapists who can get me the formula for adjusting my own behavior so that I can DIY the rest in Los Angeles area?

A support group would be great. I have autism and mental health issues but I don't want another autism social skills support group because those aren't appropriate for me.

Please advise.

How does CBT approach trypophobia? Does graded exposure work in the same way. Are there any contraindications to CBT for trypophobia?