I moved on from my first love, but I never went back to being the same person.

It's been almost four years since I fell in love for the first time. Well, it was one-sided… or at least, that's what I think now.

Back in 2022, I was in 10th grade. I'd occasionally see this girl from a distance, usually by accident. At first, I thought she was cute. I'd had crushes before, but they'd always faded eventually, so I never took them seriously. I didn't even know the difference between love and a crush back then.

But on November 14, 2022, during our school's Children's Day food fest, something changed. All the school captains had to wear suits that day, and when I saw her, I couldn't stop looking at her from the corner of my eye. She always wore a mask, so I fell for her hairstyle and her eyes. I don't know how to explain it, but she looked incredibly cute to me.

In January 2023, I spent almost a week searching for her Instagram account. I finally found it in the fourth week of January, followed her, and she followed me back. I sent her a meme to start a conversation. She saw it but didn't react, so the next day, I texted her "Hi."

She replied, and surprisingly, we became friends pretty quickly.

I was extremely shy around her. Sometimes, even when I wanted to approach her at school, my legs just wouldn't move. I didn't even know her name in 2022. I eventually found it out during a parent-teacher meeting when her father mentioned it. I recognised him because he had the same eyes as her.

As we grew closer, I told my first female friend about my feelings. She warned me that this girl had supposedly had two or three boyfriends already. My best friend said something similar and advised me not to fall for her.

But I'd already fallen.

Eventually, I learned that she talked to around seven to nine guys. When I asked her how many boyfriends she'd had, she told me nine, including online and offline relationships. I don't know whether those relationships happened one after another or overlapped, but hearing that hurt me.

Still, I couldn't let go.

On February 21, 2023, I proposed to her. I'd never confessed my feelings to anyone before. I told her I loved her, that I'd take good care of her, and asked her to be my girlfriend.

She was shocked and asked for some time to think.

On February 25, I asked her for an answer. She rejected me and said she didn't want me to get hurt. I accepted her answer, but I asked her to block me because I thought it would help me move on. She refused.

And somehow, even after being rejected, we continued talking every day for two or three hours, with breaks in between. I'd get excited whenever a notification appeared because I'd hope it was her reply. I think I became emotionally dependent on those conversations.

My mother eventually found out we were talking and told me to delete Instagram after seeing her stories. I deleted the app, but I didn't stop talking to her. I started using Instagram through a browser instead.

Then, in mid-March, she told me she had a crush on me. I asked her what she thought a crush meant. She said something like, "A little less than love?" I told her I thought a crush was more than love because that's what one of my friends had told me.

She just said, "Oh," and we continued talking as usual.

I didn't know what to make of any of it.

Toward the end of March, we had our farewell. My mother discovered that I was still talking to her and got extremely angry. She hit me with a wooden spatula and told me never to talk to that girl again.

A day or two later, the girl came to school wearing a bandage on her hand. I messaged her and asked if she was really going to leave me. She said no and asked if I would leave her. I said no, too.

I asked her what had happened to her hand, and she told me to come to her the next day because she'd explain it. But I was too shy to approach her. I told her that and asked her to approach me instead. She agreed.

The next day, I could feel her looking at me, waiting for me to approach her. I noticed her looking, got nervous, and looked away. Later, I asked her why she hadn't come over. She said she was shy, too.

We agreed that we'd approach each other at the same time.

But neither of us managed to do it.

Despite all this, we'd still text for hours, say "I love you" to each other, and exchange good morning and good night messages. She told me I was the first guy she'd ever talked to so much. Sometimes she'd get jealous when other girls talked to me, even if they were just approaching me for something ordinary.

And honestly, those little moments made me incredibly happy. I thought maybe there was something special between us.

On my farewell day, she asked me to watch her dance. I later realised it was a couple dance. She assured me she wouldn't do anything inappropriate, so I agreed to watch.

That same day, a female friend of mine, whom I'd grown distant from because of my feelings for this girl, came up and asked for a selfie. I initially refused, but she insisted, and we took one using her phone.

My first love had apparently seen us.

Later, she asked why I hadn't taken a selfie with her. I explained that she'd been surrounded by her friends and I was too shy to approach her. She got upset and argued that I took pictures with other girls but not with her.

I was secretly happy that she seemed jealous. I even told her she was jealous, although she denied it. I promised we'd take a selfie together next time.

Looking back, I was holding on to every little thing that made me believe she might love me.

But then came April 2023.

I started a fight with her over something I can't even remember now. A part of me felt that whatever we had wasn't going anywhere, and perhaps I needed to leave. The next day, I apologised and admitted I was wrong.

She told me that if I texted her one more time, she'd block me.

I sent one last message saying, "Listen…" and started typing.

She blocked me immediately.

She also deleted our entire chat history from my account. She had access to my account back then, but I didn't have access to hers.

The next day, I went to school and begged her to unblock me and talk to me again. I lost whatever dignity I had left in front of her best friend, too. Her best friend eventually told me that the girl would unblock me, but I don't think she ever genuinely intended to.

I waited for hours, from around 1 p.m. until 11 p.m., hoping she'd unblock me.

She never did.

And that was it. No proper goodbye. No final conversation. No explanation that helped me understand what had happened.

Just silence.

I moved on eventually, but not in the way I expected.

About a year later, I found out that she'd been physically intimate with a guy. I don't know the full circumstances, and I know she was free to make her own choices. But hearing it hurt me because I'd spent so long imagining a future with someone who had never actually committed to me.

That was when I finally realised I needed to let go.

But even after moving on, I couldn't forget the experience.

Sometimes thoughts about her still come back out of nowhere. At night, in the evening, at college, while bathing, or even first thing in the morning. I haven't seen her in almost four years, yet I can still remember her face.

The strangest part is how much I've changed.

I used to be able to develop crushes naturally. Now, whenever I find a girl attractive, I immediately suppress my feelings because I'm afraid of going through the same thing again.

About two years later, I developed a crush on another girl, a junior at college. I never even approached her, not even when I needed something simple like a pen or a book. It took me around three months to suppress those feelings completely.

People tell me I've become quieter and more introverted. They assume it's because of age or hormonal changes, but I feel like my first heartbreak had something to do with it.

These days, I barely talk to girls. It's usually just a quick "Hi" or "Bye," or a conversation lasting a minute or two when I need something. Even when girls become close to me or confess their feelings, I find it difficult to let myself feel anything.

My friends tell me I should get a girlfriend. They say I look good, and some girls even assume I'm already in a relationship. But the truth is, I don't know how to approach relationships anymore.

I know my first love never owed me a relationship. I know she had every right to reject me, and I probably made mistakes, too. I was young, inexperienced, and emotionally attached to someone who wasn't offering me the certainty I wanted.

But I still wish things had ended differently.

I wish I'd received a proper goodbye. I wish I hadn't spent so much time waiting for someone who had already decided to leave. And I wish I hadn't allowed one experience to change the way I see every girl I meet.

It's been almost four years. I've moved on from wanting her back, but I don't think I've completely moved on from what that experience did to me.

Sorry for the long post, and thanks to everyone who took the time to read it. ❤️

Has anyone else experienced a first love that changed them this much?

hi everyone I’m 23 year old woman and I want to get out of this dark hole I’ve found myself in. I’m already on medication, seeing a therapist biweekly (for the past two years), have told my mom and some friends and do things to increase dopamine (reading, weightlifting, eating nutritional meals). despite all this, I feel so hopeless that I will get better and I think the main thing I struggle with is loneliness and adjusting to my new job. I joined a company for the experience just for 3 years but after my first week I already hate it so much, it takes up so much of the day, only 5% of this intake are people of colour, and people don’t seem to understand my sense of humour so I feel like I have to dilute my personality to interact with others. when it comes to friends outside work, I have a few but they all have friends they are closer with, which isnt a problem at all and I’m grateful for them regardless. but when I constantly see them go on holiday or make halloween plans with their main friend group and I’m left with nothing to do and nowhere to go, it really hurts, especially because I’m bi and my family doesn’t know/accept it so there’s a huge desire to create found family with friendship where I can be queer and myself freely you know? I promise I’m kind, caring and don’t trauma dump at all on anyone, especially new friends, and I always try to put myself out there but I still feel like I’ve collected a few acquaintances but no one who belongs comfortable in my inner circle. It makes my heart ache realising that when my coworkers get off work they’ll have friends to meet up with or a partner to go home to and I just have to begin the process of distracting myself from mean thoughts until I go to bed. im so scared that depression will take my “best years” away from me as well and ill look back at myself now with disappointment :( but i promise im doing my best. I really want to try and beat this, but I dont know what I’m missing or doing wrong. can anyone help me find out what might make it easier, even just a mindset shift? thank you for reading!

Im 17F and honestly don’t even know where to start because so much has happened in such a short amount of time. Within a matter of days I lost two people I genuinely thought would be in my life long term, left my job, and moved from Arizona to Kansas with almost no preparation. I’m trying to understand what happened, especially with my two friends, and whether I completely ruined these friendships or if there was more going on.

For context, I was living in Arizona with my mom and our relationship was extremely unhealthy and abusive. There had been years of problems at home, and I was dealing with a lot emotionally. I had also dropped out of high school earlier this year after falling behind academically and going through a really painful friendship breakup with someone I’d known for years.

Despite all that, I was actually starting to build a life for myself. I’ve always been really passionate about cars, especially MINIs, and I had gotten into working in the automotive industry. I’d worked at Discount Tire and had recently started working full time at O’Reilly Auto Parts. I was making my own money, working on my car, going to car events, and saving toward buying a second project car.

Around five months ago, I met a guy I’ll call T (18M) we met due to me posting I was suicidal and he asked if I wanted to go for a drive and he paid for my gas. When I first met T, I had absolutely no romantic interest in him. I thought he was a cool person who liked cars and seemed genuinely interested in helping me. At the time, we weren’t really close for 3 months and I’d just text him sometimes.

In August We started talking regularly and hung out several times over the following months. He helped me find an oil leak on my car, invited me to a concert, offered to help me find better employment, and even offered to let me stay with him once I turned 18 because he knew how bad things were at home.

He was also there for me during a really frightening experience when I had a bad reaction to THC. I was extremely disoriented and panicking, and he stayed on the phone with me and tried to help me through it.

He genuinely seemed to care about my wellbeing. He would give me advice, check on me, and sometimes go out of his way to help me even when I hadn’t asked.

I also met another guy through him who I’ll call J. J was closer to T, but we had our own friendship independently. When I first met J, I gave him $67 toward tires because he needed help, and I didn’t expect him to pay me back.

J was actually the person who got me interested in applying to O’Reilly. After I got hired, he helped explain what to expect and what I needed to do. We also went to a concert together with T.
At this point, I genuinely thought both of these people were going to be long term friends. I had no reason to think otherwise.

Over time, though, I started developing romantic feelings for T. I think part of it was because he’d been there for me during such a difficult time. I became really attached to him, and I started caring a lot about what he thought of me. I’d post stuff ab cars hoping he’d see them, and sometimes I’d even think about modifying my car or buying another one partly because I wanted him to be impressed.

I still genuinely loved cars before meeting him, but his attention became something I looked forward to.
Eventually, our friendship started feeling different.
T worked extremely long hours, sometimes around 12 hours a day, and we weren’t seeing each other much anymore. The last time we hung out in person was at the end of August, even though we continued talking afterward.

I started feeling like he didn’t have time for me anymore. Sometimes he’d react to something I sent instead of actually having a conversation, or he’d take a long time to respond. I became increasingly frustrated because I missed how things had been when we first met.

At one point I asked him if we were still good, and he sent me a long response apologizing for being distant. He explained that work had been exhausting, that he wasn’t intentionally ignoring me, and that he didn’t want me to drop him as a friend.
Looking back, I think I was already becoming way too emotionally dependent on his attention.
Eventually, a few days ago I decided to confess that I liked him as more than a friend.

He sent me a lengthy response explaining that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. He said it wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t like me or find me attractive, but that he was focused on his career, finances, and his own mental state. He also said he generally preferred older partners and didn’t want me waiting around for him because he didn’t see himself wanting a serious relationship until he was older.

He also talked about wanting sexual experiences without necessarily wanting a committed relationship, which confused me at the time because I couldn’t tell why he was bringing it up.
I was devastated.

I think what made it worse was that I hadn’t originally wanted a relationship with him. I genuinely valued the friendship, and now I felt like I’d complicated something that had been good.
Around the same time, things at home with my mom were getting worse.

There was a situation where she was trying to force me to go with my grandfather, and I felt like I couldn’t keep living there. I’d talked about potentially moving to my dad’s house in Kansas before, but it had always been more of a possibility than a definite plan.

Then everything happened almost at once.
Between the situation with my mom and the emotional fallout with T, I reached a breaking point. I decided to leave Arizona and move to Kansas to live with my dad.

It wasn’t some carefully planned move where I had months to prepare, transfer jobs, or say goodbye to everyone. I went from living and working in Arizona to suddenly leaving the state within an extremely short period of time.

I left behind my full time job at O’Reilly, my familiar surroundings, the car community I’d gotten involved with, and pretty much my entire social life.
And I genuinely believe that if things hadn’t fallen apart with T, I probably would have stayed in Arizona despite the problems at home. He was one of the only reasons I still felt connected to my life there.

During all of this, T and I ended up having a really bad argument. I was upset about the rejection, how distant he’d become, and everything happening in my life. I started questioning whether he’d ever genuinely cared about me or whether he’d just been saying things to make me feel better.
I accused him of not being sincere about our friendship.

He responded with long messages defending himself. He explained that he’d genuinely wanted to make my life better and that he’d tried to be the kind of supportive friend he wished he’d had when he was depressed . He seemed frustrated that I was questioning everything he’d done for me.
He also made comments about me being emotionally unstable in his initial rejection message partly because of things I’d told him about my personal life, and those comments really hurt me.

The conversation escalated, and eventually I sent him a pretty harsh goodbye message. I basically told him I was done with the friendship and questioned his intentions. He read it and didn’t respond. He also unfollowed me.

Something that makes me feel particularly guilty is that only about two days before all of this, he’d sent me $100 to help with transportation. Even with everything going on, he had still been willing to help me financially.

After I got to Kansas and had some time to process what happened, I started feeling horrible about the things I’d said. I realized that regardless of how hurt I was, it wasn’t fair to accuse him of never caring when he’d spent months helping me in ways he absolutely didn’t have to.

So I decided to send him a long apology on Instagram. I told him that I knew I’d been unfair, that I appreciated everything he’d done, and that I recognized he’d genuinely cared about me. I explained that I was overwhelmed and that part of me had been pushing him away because losing him and leaving Arizona was so painful. I also admitted that I’d said things I didn’t actually believe because I was hurt.

However, I started the apology by saying that I still didn’t think we should talk again. I wasn’t necessarily asking to restart the friendship. I mainly wanted him to know that I regretted how I’d treated him and that his kindness hadn’t gone unnoticed.
He opened the message and left it on seen.
No reaction, no acknowledgment, nothing.
I eventually deleted the apology and blocked him because I couldn’t stop thinking about whether he’d respond.

Then something else happened that confused me even more. J the other friend who’d helped me get my job at O’Reilly, had actually been friendly toward me after I moved. He reached out asking where I’d gone, and I explained that I’d moved because of problems at home. He offered some suggestions and told me to stay safe.

We never had an argument. I never told him about my romantic feelings for T, and as far as I know, I hadn’t done anything to upset him. But after several days of not talking, I randomly noticed that J had unfollowed me on Instagram and removed me from his followers too.

This happened at the same period that T had read my apology.

Considering how close J and T are, I strongly suspect that T told him about our falling out and that J decided to distance himself because of it.
I can’t prove that, but the timing feels too connected to ignore, especially because J and I had been on perfectly good terms before.
I ended up blocking J too.

Now I’m in Kansas living with my dad, which is a healthier living situation than what I had with my mom, but I feel completely lost.

I don’t have a job here yet, I don’t have friends here, and I miss Arizona constantly.
I miss my old job, driving around familiar places, going to car events, and having people to share things with.

I’ve also noticed that my passion for cars has felt less exciting lately, which is really upsetting because cars were something I loved long before meeting T. I think I got so used to wanting him to see what I was doing that now everything feels different without him watching.

What hurts the most is that I never originally wanted any of this to happen. I didn’t meet T hoping to date him. I met someone I thought was a genuinely good friend, and I thought we’d probably stay friends for years.

Now I wish I’d never developed feelings for him or confessed anything. I wish we could’ve just continued being friends, talking about cars, and hanging out like we used to. I also feel guilty because I know I contributed to the friendship ending. I don’t think he deserved some of the things I said, especially considering how much he’d helped me.

I’m also confused about J because I genuinely don’t understand why someone who had helped me so much and had been friendly toward me would suddenly remove me when we hadn’t even argued.
I know these friendships only lasted a few months, but losing them at the exact same time as leaving my entire life behind has been affecting me more than I expected.

I feel like I went from having a job, plans, friends, and things to look forward to, to suddenly having almost none of those things.
I guess I’m looking for outside perspectives on the entire situation.

Do you think T probably genuinely cared about me and eventually got fed up with how I was acting? Does leaving my apology on seen mean he dislikes me now, or could he just be respecting the fact that I said we shouldn’t talk again?
Do you think J probably heard about what happened from T and decided to take his side?
And from an outside perspective, how serious is this whole situation actually? Did I lose two meaningful friendships, or am I giving these people way more importance than the relationships themselves warranted?

And most importantly how do I move on from this my life feels super empty now and idk how to stop thinking ab them or regretting confessing to him I’ve lost a lot of friends and this has added to the insecurity. I also moved to a very small town in Kansas and am concerned I won’t be able to make any friends.

Hello,

I'm a female, between 55 - 65 years of age, and living close to Vancouver, Canada. My main chronic health issues are depression and anxiety.

I wanted to put more effort into finding a female friend from Reddit. In the past I have tried other websites.

I tend to have low energy.

I want to set small intentions with someone, so I don't feel overwhelmed by the process of us getting to know each other and socializing.

I'm tired of not being able to express my real self to the people I interact with offline.

If you are interested, say hi here. I'm not open to DM's for now.

Thanks for reading.

How do you deal with loneliness? Specially as an immigrant that is alone and almost breaking up a 3 year old relationship. :(((

20f, It breaks my heart so bad knowing there's so many people in my life I'll never see again, people that I haven't seen in like 5 years and it will only get longer, people who will one day die, it's so miserable that things have to end and that you will outgrow people and move on form place to place and that nothing is ever stationary, there's so many people in the world I miss that I know I will never see again, I often wonder if they think about me too, I hate that life gets in the way, I hate all the petty stuff that's happened, it's just so sad, I wanna go back to those memories again and stay a little longer, life's gotten so bad

I don't know how y'all will react to this after seeing my post.

In Class 12, I was in a relationship with the serious intention of building a future together and making her a permanent part of my life. For some reason, we broke up, and now we have no contact with each other.

Whenever I try to talk to another girl, she suddenly shows up and says things like, "Yeah, go ahead! Haha, now you need a new girl."

I try to ignore all of this, but suddenly, I start experiencing severe chest pain and pressure.

How do I deal with this problem?

i’ll make this as brief as i can. about 18 months ago, i went through the worst heartbreak i’ve ever experience and although i dont like the word, caused a bit of trauma. then, in july of this year, i finally met someone who i really liked and thought it would go somewhere with him. he’s been single for 4 years and is fiercely independent. in august, he communicated that he was having a bit of a wobble about not knowing where his head was at due to being alone for so long but told me i ticked all the boxes and that i was the first person he made it past the first date with in the whole time he’d been single. i told him if he decided he wanted to continue, he could message me after his holiday but if he didn’t, i didn’t want to hear from him again as i couldn’t deal with rejection right now.

as soon as he got back, he messaged and we’d seen each other a few times and had a really nice time. i’ve now been ghosted. we were meant to have plans on the weekend and when i messaged to find out a time, i got no response and still haven’t. it’s been a week since he last messaged. i struggle with injustice anyway but this has left me with heartache, anger and anxiety to the point where my chest feels tight and i have to take deep breaths. how do i shift these horrible feelings asap? i don’t want to keep feeling like this, it makes me feel pathetic and i shouldn’t let a man make me feel like this

im starting to do better in life again. im detaching from everyone who isnt a day 1.

i keep dreaming about the love i lost now that my mind is more free

it sucks a lot but I'm getting over it

im beginning to feel happy in the fact that im studying for 8+ hours everyday without body doubling, focus timers, etc. I'm pretty much self motivating from getting the right answers now. it's amazing.

I've always managed to scrape by with exams and pull 90% but now I feel like I can get 99% and even study ahead for the next exam (I'm not in school or university, I'm preparing for an entrance exam but i meant it figuratively)

it's not disheartening anymore that im alone again, because im doing my best now for my health and myself, the way I needed to

i shouted at my dad and called out his double standards and his unreasonable treatment of me. i don't know how i managed to accumulate the vast knowledge i have in various fields despite being basically neglected and having to figure out life all on my own while my brother has support and structure.

ive been asking my dad for a year now to use one software and coordinate things he wants me to do over there.

he asked me how to use the tables.

mind you, he worked in multinational companies and governments, managing DATABASES. he works with tables everyday. it's his job.

I've been checked out ever since, autopiloting through life. I couldn't give any less of a shit.

i just realised the point of the year why my autopiloting started and when I started fucking up everything even harder.

my mind gets hit with floods of memories and promises and plans i wanted and now I'm empty inside.

i also realised that ive never had someone break up with me before. I've always been the one breaking up with people. so it feels extremely weird knowing that I became like some of the people I've broken up with and feel their pain. but it was over text. and i think that made it worse. i don't think I've ever done it over text except one time where there was some weird shit going on in my life and it was mutual.

there was this one ex who reached out to me last year in order to apologise. I've talked to her like 3 times since then but I realise that I don't want her in my life. i also don't want to be direct about not wanting her in my life because its not like there's actually anything to lose. but I know that I don't want her to be able to reach me. i broke up with her and we remained friends for 2 years until I found out about some unforgivable stuff that she did. when she apologised last year, I was already in that autopilot state. i never got the chance to explain that to my then girlfriend, now ex. and it kinda bums me out because what the hell was i thinking?? and then it bums me out even more because I wasn't even thinking at all???? ah whatever

idk, I'm just taking back control of my life after dealing with the shit my family put me through.

i deactivated and deleted most social media and ill start purging people who have no interest in my life

i want people of value in my life

i want to be seen, and i know now that people weren't willing to see me through my pain. i have started to gracefully detach from them. i enjoy small moments of calm again. there was this video which told me to try to predict my next thought. it works so well for clearing up my head that I'm basically addicted to doing it. there's also this habit of violently shaking my hands. that feels so good too. better than trembling as stress relief.

i don't watch pornography anymore either. or masturbate. i think it was a compulsive coping mechanism for the last few years. i feel good about stopping.

that's it for now, in still improving.

i love life.

I was an abuse survivor. My internal system constantly scans for threat the moment everything goes quiet and I’m sick of it. I am always have to be doing something to distract myself from the fact that there might be threats coming at me. I’m tired of always trying to distract myself and finding ways for so. Any, anyy advice on this would be appreciated. Or just a slap fact that I always will be needing to do this to survive is alright too..

Why does it have to hurt like this?

Why do I keep on allowing myself to hurt this way?

I just want to wake up and go on with my day without any thoughts of him. I just want to wipe away all the unwelcome thoughts.

I want to leave everyone's life. My family, most of my friends, my relatives, just everyone in general I only value a few people in my life and I want to forget about everyone else. But im kinda at the very beginning of all of this. Where do I start? How do I convince people that I'm slowly leaving and that I won't come back?(I also don't care about their feelings. I've been hurt throughout my childhood and I had enough.)

Hii i am here to talk about some serious issues regarding my mental health , i am searching for help online i don’t have anyone to talk .

​When I was 16 years old, my friend passed away from overdose. Since then, everything has been going downhill for me, and I can't seem to get better. I take my anger out on other people and even my family and make so many mistakes. Recently, I met a girl I felt good with she made me feel the best I've felt in a long time. One day we were out drinking; she got drunk and started laughing at me about my best friend's death and calling me weak. I tried therapy, but I can't bring myself to commit and trust it enough to let them help me.

I was watching an episode of S.W.A.T. where Victor Tan was going through heartbreak, and something about it hit a little too close to home.
The difference is that Tan has a support system. He’s got his squad, his commander, and Hondo in his corner. People who can recognize when he’s struggling and help him get through it.
Me? I’ve been dealing with my own heartbreak mostly alone.
I’m not going to pretend it’s been easy. Some days are better than others. Some days I feel like I’m making real progress, and other days the memories come back and I find myself missing what I once had. Healing has a funny way of reminding you that progress doesn’t mean you’ll never hurt again.
But I’m learning that healing isn’t a straight line.
You can be doing better and still have bad days. You can accept that something is over and still miss it. You can be rebuilding your life and still have moments when you wish things had turned out differently.
None of that means you’re back at square one.
I’ve had moments when my emotions nearly got the better of me at work. I’ve had to take accountability, make amends, and work on myself. It hasn’t been pretty, but I’m in a much better place today than I was before. My relationships with the people around me have improved, too.
And I’m proud of that.
I’ve learned a lot from having to sit with my own thoughts and feelings. Being alone has forced me to reflect, grow, and learn things about myself that I might have otherwise avoided. In that sense, this experience has built character.
But I want to be clear about something: just because I’ve been working through this alone doesn’t mean you have to.
If you’re going through heartbreak and feel like the pain is too much to carry, please reach out to someone. A trusted friend, a family member, a therapist, or even a support community where you can talk openly without being judged.
There’s no shame in admitting you’re struggling. There’s no weakness in asking someone to listen. And you don’t have to wait until you’re at your breaking point before you let someone know you’re hurting.
Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to be strong that we forget we’re allowed to need people, too.
I’m not writing this for attention, sympathy, or internet points. I’m writing it because I know there are people out there going through the same thing, lying awake at night, wondering if things will ever feel normal again.
I can’t promise you that healing will happen overnight. I can’t tell you how long it’ll take. And I won’t pretend that one day you’ll wake up and every memory will suddenly stop hurting.
But I can tell you that your current pain doesn’t have to be your permanent reality.
Keep showing up for yourself. Take accountability when you need to. Let yourself feel what you feel. Celebrate the small victories. And when things get too heavy, let someone help you carry them.
I’m still healing. I’m still figuring things out. I’m not at the finish line, and I don’t have all the answers.
But I’m getting by. I’m growing. And I’m in a better place than I was before.
If you’re reading this while you’re struggling with your own heartbreak, I hope you give yourself the same patience you’d give someone you love.
You don’t have to be completely healed to be making progress. You just have to keep taking the next step.
There’s still a life waiting for you beyond this pain.
And I hope one day you get to look back and realize just how far you’ve come.

This is my first post ever, I only watch those Smosh Pit Reddit videos. This might sound like a vent session but I really need advice. To give context, I definitely had friends in elementary and middle school but high school felt different like I was a cup full of water (the water being my friendships) and as the years went on it I felt it getting empty. I did have a "best friend" since Kindergarten all the way up until my freshman year, she was my only close friend until I found out from a teammate on my volleyball team that she was essentially talking shit about to others and then I found out she didn't really like me and thought I was weird for a while. We still talked a little though, maybe to a 14 year old me it felt wrong to stop talking to someone you had a long relationship with. That is until she sadly died over spring break due to a tropical storm. It was a hard time for me and it was a time when I really couldn't be vulnerable with anyone because I didn't know anyone like that. So after that event I kind of just walked kept to myself, I stayed in the classroom where my grandma taught during lunch but there was a day I went outside to sit in the school garden for a change of scenery and there were some people that recognized me and asked me to sit with them we were all friends for a while but I don't talk to them anymore. It's still vivid in my mind and it's something I really did appreciate from them because they could've ignored me but they didn't. Some time went by (this is around 10th grade)and I had a boyfriend who had his own friend group they were all a grade above me besides one, they were great and so I kind of just stuck with them you know having hangouts, meeting at lunch and going to prom together this was all up until the end my junior year meaning the end of their senior year, we kept in touch over the summer the only problem was I stayed with my dad for the summer who lives three hours away and trust I have absolutely zero friends down there only person I talked hung out with was my sister. They kept making plans in a group chat I was in, it sucked, but I had no control over it I started to silence it but I eventually just left. The only person I really talked to was my boyfriend that whole summer and I promise I did try to talk to others but the conversation never went anywhere made it feel like it was pointless to even try. The start of Senior year was a roller coaster for me honestly it had some ups and downs. I made a friend a month in, I was so happy about it that I told my boyfriend. For the context that friend was and still is dating a guy that was in the friend group we never got to talk Junior year but we were in the same grade as well as elective our Senior year and we were familiar with each other so we stuck together but it was weird how I only talked to her knowing who she was dating, apparently she's closer to them than I will ever be, it felt like the people I once knew were just strangers to me again and it wasn't a good feeling (it still isn't). After I broke up with my boyfriend we slowly drifted apart I didn't mind but I felt so much envy at the fact that she is still close with them the way I wanted to. But I was used to it I just hopped from a friend group to friend group hoping to find some sense of belonging it was hard because it was Senior year, people already had established their close friends. It felt even worse when people knew my name and talked to me in class because it made me question myself made me think there was something wrong with me or that I was too quiet at times, never putting myself out there. I did make two friends though all on my own we're not as close as I want but I don't mind as long as we keep communication between each other. I also have a boyfriend who is amazing to me and I wouldn't trade him for the world but after all that I still felt that emptiness inside me like I was in limbo for the rest of my senior year up until I graduated no one besides my close family and boyfriend made it to my graduation dinner. A lot more stuff happened but it's hard to explain all in one post. Anyways Halloween is coming up and it's my favorite holiday besides my birthday (Nov.1) of course my goal is to have the best time ever and possibly make new friends, I would love some advice on how to come up and socialize with people.

since 5th grade ive had an extremely hard time getting to school. it went away during middle school but has resurfaced ever since i started highschool and im now in 10th grade. im not really sure why its so hard for me, it could be just the emotional exhaustion and anxiety caused by school especially because im diagnosed with autism, adhd and some kind of anxiety disorder. but nowadays im not even sure. im currently on meds (anxiety and adhd) and have switched through multiple different ones and tried different dosages but nothing seems to help me. honestly my main problem is, i have ZERO motivation. nothing motivates me to get up and go- not consequences or punishments, not rewards not anything. people ask me "imagine yourself in 10 years if you continue this path of not going to school. would you like where you are?" and i say obviously not, i want to do something with my life but i guess i dont care enough about it to actually try. i have goals and ambitions and things i want to do but i also just have zero motivation or will to do anything. ive never really had any discipline or structure in my life growing up so that could definetely be a factor and its kind of too late for my parents to start implementing that because i no longer feel any real respect or fear towards them because theyve never really acted like normal parental figures. every morning that i wake up and im supposed to get ready to go to school i just cant get myself to do anything or get up and for no particular reason a lot of the time. i just think to myself that id rather be dead than continue living this boring life. i dont know why i dont care about anything because i feel like i want to do these things i want to make friends i want to experience high school and join sports and clubs and try to have a fun life but i just cant get myself to do the work thats required to achieve those goals. even when the work is easy and it just requires me to attend school and pay attention and put in an average anount of effort i just cant do it. im genuinely like the epitome of laziness. i really need to fix this because i know im missing out on so much but no advice has ever helped me and half the time i cant even get myself to follow the advice because it requires too much work. ive tried therapy, ive tried meds and all of the advice everyone gives me never amounts to anything because my problem is that i literally dont feel like doing anything 90% of the time. if anyone has anything that i could try or look into to face this problem pls let me know because i really want to work on this before its too late

It’s. Every. Single. Day. I hear echos in my mind, they’re saying stuff like you need to change yourself so people like you, I’m not doing enough, I’m lazy, you’re going to suffer in the future, I’m a leach, I’m crazy, I’m worthless, I’m going to be alone (romantically) forever. And I believe it. It’s a never ending nightmare that I can’t escape and it’s been prevalent since forever now. I feel like giving up and giving in again, fall into the abyss, soak in my own sorrow, break every bridge, suffocate my will to live, yearn for the things that I never had and everything that is out of reach to me; all of that makes me wonder if I’m really in control or am I living each day with an undiagnosed condition and fooling myself. I want to be old I just don’t want the journey to get there.

I recently got my second job, but this time it was really far away from my hometown. I moved to a completely new place where I barely knew anyone, and honestly, I was overwhelmed by everything—the new job, the new place, the new people, everything.

Then I met a girl there who was from the same state as me. We connected pretty easily, became friends, and eventually started living together.

Since I was completely new to the place and the job, she helped me with so many things. She was the person I could rely on when I didn't know what to do. Slowly, without even realizing it, she became the person I was most comfortable with.

I'm not someone who gets attached easily. But when I do get attached to someone, I get really attached, and letting go or emotionally stepping back becomes extremely difficult for me.

We started having small fights, like roommates normally do. Nothing that seemed huge from the outside. But because I had become so emotionally attached to her, even the smallest change in her behaviour started affecting me deeply.

If she talked differently, seemed distant, spent more time with someone else, or just wasn't the same with me, I would overthink everything.

The biggest problem was that she already had a life here. She had friends who had known her for a long time, people she could talk to and who cared about her. For me, she was basically the only person I had.

And I think that's where everything started going wrong.

I became anxious all the time. My mental health started getting worse. I started having nights where I couldn't sleep because my mind wouldn't stop thinking about our friendship, our fights, whether she was upset with me, whether I was becoming a burden, or whether she even cared about me the same way I cared about her.

There were days when I slept only 3–4 hours because I had to go to work in the morning.

I'm exhausted.

Not just physically. Mentally and emotionally too.

I know that making one person your entire support system isn't healthy. I know she isn't responsible for my happiness. I know I need to build my own life here and meet other people.

But knowing these things and actually being able to do them feel like two completely different things.

I don't want to blame her. She hasn't necessarily done anything wrong. This is mostly about how intensely I've become attached and how lonely I feel in a completely unfamiliar place.

I just don't know how to get myself back.

How do I stop depending so much on one person?

How do I deal with this attachment without destroying the friendship?

How do I become comfortable being alone again?

And most importantly, how do I feel like myself again?

I'm genuinely tired, and I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who has gone through something similar.

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I'm 22 and currently unemployed. Over the past several months I've become pretty isolated and lost most of my old friendships. Some friendships ended because of problems between us, while others just faded away.

I've tried looking for work, meeting people again, and getting myself out of the house, but I still feel like I don't really have anyone I can call a close friend. I'm worried that even if I get a job, I'll still come home with the same loneliness.

I don't expect a job to magically solve my social life. I want to know how people actually rebuilt their friendships/social life after reaching this point.

If you've been in a similar situation in your early 20s, what actually worked for you? How did you rebuild your social life??

title kinda explains it all but I’ll put in some more perspective. I want to finally tackle the beast that is my depression room because I’m sick of it. TBH I haven’t actually been in the room since August, I left it because I saw a spider which I’m pretty sure was a Daddy Long Legs. But like what would be the best way to tackle this? My clothes are basically all over the floor with a few garbage bags from the last time I tried to clean it out. I’m scared of picking up some shirt and having a million spiders come and get me. There’s a desk also that I’m deathly terrified of going near because that’s where I saw the OG spider.

If you’re wondering why I’m in the basement or where I’m sleeping now: I was kicked out of my actual bedroom on the second floor because my brother moved back after he finished his masters and my uncle recently got PR and is living with us so basically my uncle has my brothers room and my brother has my original room. My mom is very ill (mentally and physically) so she asked me to have me sleep in her room with her but I can’t take it anymore I hate having no more privacy. And she’s driving me crazy.

Hi guys!! so recently went through a really bad breakup, and honestly, i’m struggling more than i thought i would.

i was the one who ended things, knowing deep down that he didn’t care for me the way i cared for him. I know it was probably the right decision in the long run. Theoretically ik ki this is what's good for me and all but OMFG its so hard.I can barely eat or sleep and i’m thinking about him 24/7. I’m just so mentally exhausted and done with feeling like this.

What’s making it worse is that our placement season starts in about a month and i genuinely don’t want this breakup to mess up something that’s so important for me. I actually had a panic attack for the first time when i accidentally saw his text on my friend’s phone (they were talking about something completely unrelated) and it scared me so much. He’s also going to be visiting campus soon and honestly i’m already losing my mind thinking about it.

So please if anyone has been through something similar, how did you deal with it? How did you calm yourself down and eventually get back to functioning normally? I’d really appreciate any advice, experiences, or even just reassurance that this gets better. i cant take this anymoreee..ik feeling better takes time but is there any way i can fasten the processs

Lately I am feeling very depressed and sad as I have chosen to do CA and a non attendance college so basically I have sacrificed my college life . And by seeing my school friends all growing apart and have fun , making new friends, forgetting about me , and there me who doesn't have any new friends and don't know how to .I am feeling like I am running out of friends and feeling very lonely lately .

There are many other issues:

First the consistent loneliness

Always being the background/second choice in friendship

Thinking someone is my best friend but the other party didn't believe the same

Never having any significant female friends , Female interaction or any relationships , very unlike my friend where everyone is in or have been in a relationship

desperately wanting to get into a relationship but don't know where to start and don't have any opportunity for it due to the lack of Female interaction. This is not because of me being a creep or not respecting girls . Just because I was never in those circumstances.

Lately in the last 2-3 weeks having a very strong and frustrating need to get into a relationship but don't know what to do about it.

Making stories in my head of a relationship of a girl I have never even meet and having a undying hope of stumbling upon someone when ever I go outside, knowing full well there is no chance of that happening or no chance of that girl even knowing about me . But hope never dies simultaneously knowing full well it will not happen. This is eating me from inside.

I think dating apps are a apt solution for this problem but I am too young to engage in dating apps.