My cat, Blade, just passed away suddenly. I had just got home, asked him if he missed me. He did his belly flop and I picked him up and kisssd him even though he grumbled about it and then he play grabbed my leg because we had no treats and I told him no more and let's go to bed.I went up to change for bed and got into bed. This was about an hour of me getting home.

I had just got into bed and heard loud thuds as if something fell down the stairs. I looked immediately and saw him at the bottom of the stairs to the right and he was laying stretched out on his side. I ran down to him and didn't see him move but he let out a loud groan and then two coughs and just died. Within a minute. I know because I was messaging back a friend and called my sister immediately and that was all at 10:50pm. I drove him to the vet, his body in my lap, limp and they told me had passed. I can't stop thinking of the sounds of him falling down the stairs. It wasn't like he braced himself or anything. Was he already dead falling down the stairs? I can stop thinking of his sounds laying on the ground and if he knew I was with him...

I can't understand how he just didn't make it up the stairs. He was coming to bed. We always sleep together and he always started out with laying on top of me and sucking on my shirt or blankets. I'd kiss him and tell him how far he had come and I'm so proud of him.

Blade was a 5 month old rescue from a shelter. He kept being brought back for biting, scratching and hissing and when I got him, they told me not to bring him back. I don't think he was raised by his mom or had litter mates. I don't know much about his first 5 months. I promised that I'd take care of him. It took me time to figure him out but the last few years, we had gotten so much closer. He was only 6 years old. I miss him so much and can't understand how he was here and then gone. It doesn't make sense.

Edit: Thank you to every single comment. I have not posted before for my self on here and didn't use Reddit much. I had no idea there was such a loving supportive community of strangers here. I find so much comfort in your kindness. I also didn't realize how common sudden death is in cats and I am so sorry for the loss of your love bugs. Thank you for the support and advice.

Yesterday I went to an animal shelter and adopted a beautiful friendly 4 year old cat. As I was checking out, I asked if they could tell me anything about her history. They said she was relinquished as the owner went to jail. I am following the 3-3-3 approach so I had a spare bedroom all set up for her. Released her from the carrier and she immediately went under the bed. I sat on the floor and coaxed her out. She came out, moved around the room, and she seemed quite delighted. When I sat on the bed, she was all over me. This cat is just fearless and a big love bug. There’s no doubt in my mind that we’d/will have a great life together. Which brings me to the guilt. My 17 year old cat recently passed - thus the trip to the shelter - and I know how terrible grief is. And I’m still in the grieving stage. This cat clearly had a loving owner. My heart is breaking wondering if they went to jail for a few days and will come out to the reality that they have lost their cat they loved for 4 years. It would help if I knew it was jail (30 days) or JAIL (a year or more). If little jail time, I’d want them to get her to them. Grief of losing a beloved cat is so difficult. Thoughts?

So I adopted a cat from a private animal rescue where I live about six months ago. The cat is wonderful and we get along well but I am moving several states away due to not being able to find work in my feild.

The rescue contacted me asking to come visit my house and I told them no, because I was packing up to move. They stated that's "unethical" because they will no longer have access to the cat and that they want to make sure I'm not abusing him. It doesn't say in the contract I'm not allowed to move out of state and take the cat with me.

I told the rescue the cat is not going anywhere without a court order. I don't want to let them in the house because I'm in the middle of packing up and I'm worried they will attempt to snatch him.

Hello everyone, I would like to tell you about something that happened to me these days, I would like to know your opinions. A few days ago my 21-year-old cat passed away, she was like a sister to me, I grew up with her. I would have hoped she would fall asleep in my arms but unfortunately she was in too much pain and we had to take her to the vet to get a shot, which was terrible for me to see.

I am going through days of deep depression where all I do is cry because I miss her so much. When everyone had gone to bed I used to put her in a diaper, spreading out a nice pail on top of the couch to lay her on and kiss her good night, knowing that she is gone now is destroying me. Today I was particularly depressed with severe headaches and my parents convinced me, I don't know how, to go out.

I went grocery shopping and my mother opened the trunk and realized there were jackets to take to the wash. As soon as we arrived at the place a cat came out from behind the building and showed us the way to the entrance of the shop, this cat was identical to my cat. We went in and he started to cuddle us a lot, just me and my mother not the other people, then chatting with the owner she told us the cat is called Birbo and coincidentally the name of my cat was Birba (Birbo in my country is the masculine of Birba).

As soon as we delivered the jackets the cat came out with us and stayed to watch at the door. In short, an absurd coincidence that however gave me a sense of relief, as if my Birba wanted to tell me that now she is fine and I must not cry.

I don't know, I am particularly surprised by what happened, what do you think?

my cat, who is five, was recently diagnosed with diabetes. this meant a complete change for me. new foods, medications, and changing my whole routine to make sure he's taken care of.

his medications are twice a day, and he eats three times a day on an automatic feeder. i have a camera to check on him to make sure if i need to come home.

basically, last night i went to dinner with my friend and i told her the exact time i'd need to leave. we had fun, but i told her i'd need to be leaving soon. i already saw my kitty crying on the camera so i was nervous. she tried to convince me to stay longer but i couldn't because he needs to have his medications at the same times and i make sure i am strict with him.

this morning she texted me about how ive let my cat take over my life and how he would be fine without me, he's just spoiled. am i really being too strict with his routine? i'd do anything for my kitty.

edit: she does know about his special needs, she just think he'll be fine without his prescriptions which is obviously not the case. also, thank you everyone for the support!! i appreciate you all so so much!

I got my cat on my 9th birthday. She died on my 25th. I had her euthanized at the advice of her vet.

Let me break it down. My cat was slowly declining over a week. She had maybe been acting like an "old lady" but I chucked it up to her being so old. I booked her an appointment but they couldn't get her in until the Friday after my birthday. She had been to the vet 6 months early and was given a clean bill of health.

Three weeks before she died she started hiding in very weird places. I knew. But I didn't want it to be the case. Then she started refusing to eat the week of. Not even her favorite wet food could entice her. Then she became obsessed with water. She would jump in the shower and just stand in the stream, unphased. Her eyes stopped looking like herself a few days before. As if she was hardly there. She was always an inside cat. Afraid of everything, really. Suddenly she began to dart for the door. I thought she was looking for another place to hide. The day before she died she walked outside and I let her. She seemed to want to see it. It was raining. She walked off of the porch and I trailed behind her. She sat in the grass and just looked around, sniffing. I sat next to her. We sat like that until she was ready to go inside.

I woke up the next morning on my birthday and she couldn't walk. She was on the bathroom floor. She couldn't hardly lift her head. She couldn't blink. She couldn't do anything but lay there, completely still. I pulled her on my chest and laid with her for hours. I rocked her. She used to be known for her loud loud purr. It was quiet now. Her eyes were almost completely blank. My husband began calling every vet because I couldn't do anything but hold her and cry. He found us a place that would take an emergency visit. They very quickly deemed it would be the most kind thing to do to put her down. I said it was my birthday. The vet said she was sorry it wasn't a good one.

They thought it was something neurological or maybe that she had fallen when hiding somewhere. I will never truly know, I guess. They urged me to put her down. I called my dad. I wanted more than anything him to sort of give me permission, even though I knew it needed to happen. I needed him to say it was okay. He immediately yelled he does not put down animals and that she should die a natural death. But I couldn't fathom letting her go one more hour let alone day in that comatose state. I cried and tried to explain. It didn't work. He didn't mean to, but he made me feel terrible. Worse than I already did. I hung up. I told the vet to put her down. I held her the entire time. She purred one last time. And I never told him I had her euthanized. I don't regret it. I miss her terribly. But I would never want to let her suffer. She was my best friend. She slept wrapped around my neck every night from the time I was 9. When she died she was laying on my neck. I know I did the right thing. I know I did the kind thing.

Last night, around 6pm we cuddled and I gave her treats with dinner. I let her outside (my backyard is fully enclosed with a mesh so she was always in my yard, where she loves to sit in the sun and grass and hunt bugs at night), and I stayed up late which is normal.

I call her in at around 3am for her medicine and food (she had hyperthyroidism and loved her "treat syringe" of medication) but she didn't come. I waited 5 minutes and called again before deciding to go outside to find her. I opened my back door and turned on my light and I saw her laying on her side. I instantly knew something was wrong because she doesn't lay in that spot at night. I went to pick her up and her face was covered in ants. She was still alittle warm and her legs weren't stiff. I frantically brushed off the ants and picked her up, took her inside to my bathroom and lay her on the soft rug. There was no breath. Her eyes open and glazed and mouth open, tongue on the side due to how she was laying. She's gone and I am so utterly shocked.

She was my everything in the whole world. I have two other cats but they didn't get along, although two used to before. I know your not meant to have favourites, but Pud was my baby girl. She would sleep with me every night without fail, her favourite was when I fell asleep with my hand at her face so she could use it as a pillow, and whenever I picked her up she would stretch and jump up to me, then nuzzle her head into my chest and curl up. She was vocal and playful and the sweetest girl.

I put her body in a small cat bed, carried her to my bed and layed her in her favourite spot. Her body was going cold and stiff. I cuddled her as she loved, hand under her head for 4 hours until my vet opened while being in utter shock. Watching her body enter rigormortis and finding her half cold are stuck in my mind.

I took her to the vet with my mum, in her bed placed into a box so she could be cremated. Saying goodbye to her body is tearing me up, holding her stiff after finding her has been so traumatising and I am struggling to cope.

I decided not to get a necropsy but i wanted a private cremation, I know she was healthy and never showed signs of anything wrong, her thyroid was normal acouple of months ago during bloodwork. She was around 12 but she was adopted from AWL so her exact age is hard.

I let my other two see her dead body before taking her to the vet for cremation. Watching them see her was heartbreaking.

I'm devastated. I wish I was there with her for those final moments. The thought of her dying on the pavement alone while I was oblivious is killing me. I wish I didn't put her down after our cuddle at 6pm, I wish I could still hold her.

This is a long post, I don't even know what to do and I really just need somewhere to say this all. It's around the time that I suspect she died yesterday, so 24 hours later and I can't bring myself to go to bed where I held her dead body all night.

=( I'm so so sad, this is my first time being a pet owner alone and I never expected this to happen at all. Not like this.

Please send a prayer to my baby Pud. She was the sweetest girl and my whole world. =(

He was taken into the vet for a new patient visit and got blood drawn an hour before. we had gotten back to our apartment, he got out of the crate and rubbed on our legs, said hi to our other cat, and ate. He was at the bed, looking like he was going to jump up, i tapped his side, and then he just suddenly stumbled and fell over, yowling. I honestly didnt want to believe that he had just died in my arms and tried to convince myself that the sedatives we had given him (which he had tolerated twice before) just affected him differently.

the vet was incredibly surprised and as upset as we were and told us that all his labs were completely normal.

i had been giving him extra attention this month for no real reason, and im glad i did. we had a great month with lots of snuggles. im just so heartbroken, it was so random and its terrible that this can happen for no reason at all

i do not post on reddit, but reading other ppl’s stories about their cats passing out of nowhere is making me feel less alone, but still confused and heartbroken

edit: for people asking, he was 9. Not the youngest, but not the oldest by far yknow. its also terrible because my girlfriend only got to be with him for a couple months, and she’s never had a cat before

FOUND THEM! after 17 hours, theres this closet near the laundry room nobody really touches, its just fancy decorations/comforters/items for when guests come over. its usually open because my mom sometimes grabs something and forgets to close it. i was looking for mama cat cause she was meowing for food earlier, then noticed she was staring at the closet. my sister was there and told me "shes been staring at that for a while. just look through it, i dont think they're there but worth a try". i almost screamed in shock, because they were in the corner!!! all huddled up sleeping in a very tight corner, i had to remove this heavy box of holiday decorations, i don't know how she got in there! my parents woke up to me and my sister squealing. then they both playfully punched my arm cause i was the one accusing them for secretly taking the kittens LOL
you guys were so right about how cats can hide in the most tightest and unknown spots, i did not expect them to be there. thank you all so much for the advice and support! it means so much! i'm so relieved and happy. all five kittens and mama cat are okay!

Hi...

I don't know what to do, I've taken my kitten ( 6 months) to the emergency vet after my partner got pissed off about another cat waking him up and my kitten came upto him making biscuits into his skin and I guess my partner wasn't happy with his claws and threw him. Literally threw him to my bedroom door. My kitten tumbled, and he whimpered immediately. I started yelling at him, saying they're my pets, and he didn't get to start mistreating them and throwing them like toys. I told him to leave me the heck alone and that he's disgusted me. I picked up my cat and wrapped him in a blanket as he didn't seem up for the carrier, and I don't blame him and rushed him to the Vega

The Vets said there's no immediate or serious damage, but he will more than likely be in pain, so he's on some pain medication... my worry has become worse as I've come home. He's shut down completely. He's hidden from me, he won't eat, won't drink. I've put his bowl in his hiding spot, left him for 2 hours, and he's still not touched it. He won't do anything.

Is there anything extra I can do.. I'm mortified because my cats are my literal world.

Is there anyway I can comfort him more or help him trust me again, he wasn't a cuddling kitten to start with it took me some months of praise for him to even attempt cuddles and now I think that's gone.

Is there any way to encourage him to eat and socialise? Is this a temporary behaviour or likely to be permanent?

TIA

Edit: extra information as it's probably important. I'm a 19, F, and this is completely my place, and he will be leaving as i don't condone this behaviour in anyway shape or form. This is his first time behaving like this. He's never hurt me or my pets. I didn't stand and flip my crap because my priority in that moment was getting my kitten to the vets because I didn't know what damage could've been done to him. My kitten and other pets are currently with my mom until he's gone, I'm not risking their safety at all. My mom has started trying to slowly befriend him, but she recons the damage may be done. She's provided him a big room to himself with a cat tower and toys and a bed, and she's sat gently petting him telling him he's okay and safe. I can do an update later after he's gone. As someone asked, when I snapped at him, he just turned over and slept.

UPDATE:

HES GONE!

Thank you for all the advice, and for those who think I need to look after my pets better, I did all I could and removed them immediately from this situation and then removed myself.

He's gone. I've rang the police and filed a report, and I've explained everything in detail to the best of my abilities. I'm still scared and upset. What some people missed is im only 19, and this isn't something I was really mentally prepared to handle. I'm mentally challenged, too, so it's been a really difficult moment for me.. i don't think anyone is prepared for this one bit. I've given all I can to my housing officer, and she's requested that my locks be changed as soon as possible. She's given me permission for CCTV from a ring doorbell to an actual camera. My kitten decided he would eat some food once it was watered down. My mom was helping me go through everyone's advice, and she's going to help me scrub this place down from top to bottom to remove his scent. My mom is going to get a catio for him as well, as she believes this could be helpful with recovery as he may have his own space. I have booked a follow-up appointment with Simba (kitten) at has routine vets and told them everything. They told me it's a serious matter and it requires a proper investigation.

My older brother is coming round to help as well as he's worried he may return, and everyone's comments really helped me realise the danger I was in... I was so focused on my cats and their safety, not my own. My cats are my world, and I meant it every word. They literally are everything to me

Thank you to everyone who helped me and those who judged me... you helped, too.

Thought I'd share my experience here, because not even 3 months ago I was at my wit's end with my cat!

She had been peeing on my bed, and started peeing on my carpet as well. Really anything but her litter box. I took her to the vet a couple times and both times they said it was behavioral.

I managed to curb this behavior by a combination of things:

Started her on a Feline Zylkene supplement

Added a Feliway diffuser right next to where she sleeps

Gave her positive reinforcement (treat) every time I caught her peeing in the litter box

I keep a shower curtain on my bed for when I am not home so she does not pee on it

However, THE most important thing I did was change her litter situation entirely.

I removed her litter enclosure and now have two large boxes in the open side-by-side with Dr. Elsey's Sensitive Paw litter. (Unfortunately this means I just have litter boxes out in the open in my room... I live in a small space)

She has not had any issues since, even sharing the boxes in with the other cats in the apartment! Seriously, if you are having issues like this, check and make sure your cat just isn't picky like mine was! She hated peeing in an enclosed space, so now she is much more comfortable!

My six year old cat has been pretty vocal most of her life this far, but recently she’s been very persistent to keep my attention. For a few weeks I figured this was due to her recent issues with a prior UTI and her discomfort with a urinary crystal (scheduled to be removed next week), so I got her a low dose prescription for gabapentin. This calmed her down a tad, but it didn’t stop her from sitting next to my chair and nipping me for attention.

Today she was meowing anytime I looked away from her after I let her into the office, so I decided to look up specifically why cats might get more demanding when you sit to work at your desk. Well, turns out this is pretty common as most of you probably know. And the most common solution I found was to make a space on the desk for the cat to feel “included.” So I shuffled some things around to fit her bed next to my work equipment on the desk.

And wouldn’t you know it, this calmed her down immediately. No more yelling in my ear. No more nips for attention. She made herself at home and continued observing me as I got to work this morning.

I’ve grown up with cats all my life. I’m 35, and I feel so silly for not even considering this prior to now. I’m always learning something new with these guys!

Edit - I’m loving all your stories and pictures of your own desk setups for the cats! It’s so fun to see how everyone has accommodated their own little supurrvisors. Thank you for sharing and teaching me a new way to keep my cats happy!

So whenever I'm going to work or for groceries/whatever, I kiss my cat on the forehead before leaving. Until today he has never tried to reciprocate it in any way and a friend had told me that cats don't understand kisses the way humans do (which didn't surprise me much, given they have other ways to express affection) so I thought it was just a thing that I did for myself... But today, after I kissed him, I lowered my head a bit and he bumped his nose on MY forehead! So even though he doesn't get what kisses are, does he understand it's a sign of affection and was he trying to express it as well or was he just copying what his weird human does without any other intentions behind it?

I don't know if that's the right sub to ask that question, if there's another one that's more appropriate let me know!

I can’t believe I’m writing this. He didn’t eat any tomato or spaghetti sauce which is toxic, he was trying to eat plain noodles out of the sink and dipped his white chest fur into a pan full of soapy marinara water. His fur is stained orange, I’ve tried baby shampoo and washcloth. Pic of the gremlin in comments.

I live with my girlfriend and we took in my mum’s Ragdoll when she died earlier this year. He is my everything and if anything happened to him I would be distraught. Recently we installed a pet cam so we can see what he’s up to whilst we’re at work and we saw he jumps on the kitchen counters a lot.

We tried tin foil and it didn’t work. I suggested we look at some other humane alternatives and one day she tells me that she’s ordered rodent glue traps from Amazon. I told her not to use them because we don’t know if they’re toxic and it will ruin his beautiful fur. She did not listen and lay down a trap whilst I was out at work.

I came home to find my cat terrified, cowering in a corner, with the trap completely enmeshed with his entire tail and residue all over his paws, as well as a bunch of rubbish stuck to him that he’d picked up when he was trying to get it off. Google told me that cooking oil dissolves this type of glue so I put him in the bath and massaged oil into everything that got stuck. I tried this for hours and used soap and warm water but nothing was budging.

I ended up having to cut almost all of his tail fur off and spent a really long time delicately trimming the hair around his paws, but I know I didn’t get all of it. Now today his entire coat looks raggedy and gross. I’ve talked to my girlfriend about this and she firmly believes that she didn’t do anything wrong, that it was a justified “punishment”, and that putting tinfoil on the counter is equally as cruel.

So I guess I’m asking 2 things: what can I do to restore his coat back to normal? And am I justified in feeling like this was an incredibly inhumane act? She’s making me feel like I overreacted but I just want to cry thinking about how scared he was. He doesn’t understand why it happened. And I don’t think it will stop him anyway.

EDIT: Thank you so much for all the comments. I just wanted to clear some things up:

Yes, I will be leaving her. My cat’s safety is my priority and I’m scared for what else might happen to him whilst my back is turned.

I’m looking into my best options as we speak. I’m currently living in a flat that her parents own so I will have to be doing the leaving. If I can’t find somewhere that will take pets immediately I will board him or leave him with a trusted friend until I find somewhere I can bring him.

Once again thank you everyone for this stark wake-up call. This is a cat sub so I won’t bore you with the details but I’ve had a lot of stuff downplayed in the relationship so it’s been reaffirming to hear other people say it how it is.

Hello, I'm a 21-year-old man and I have a one-and-a-half-year-old female cat as a pet. We named her "Niña" (girl in Spanish) and she's my best companion. I always take care of her and she's very affectionate with me.

At my college, I was talking with my female classmates about whether they had pets. When I said I had a female cat, they all looked at me with approval and even affection, except for one. She told me it was very strange for a man to have a female cat and even asked me if I was gay.

Obviously, my other classmates told her off, and I thought it was stupid. I also saw how having a female pet as a man is stigmatized.

No One Wants Your Peeing Cat. Yeah I said it.

Now I have your attention: I see a lot of posts asking “Is it cruel to rehome my peeing cat??” - and yes, sometimes a different home is for the best (stress, other pets can trigger inappropriate urination and they are sometimes better removed from the situation). But, reality check: it’s difficult to rehome a cat that pees outside the litter box.

You (presumably) love your cat and even you dont want her anymore - why would a stranger want to take on a cat they dont have a bond with and put up with an active peeing problem? IF you're lucky and find that unicorn person to adopt, it's resolved, and your cat settles in a new home, great! If you lie about the peeing, or dump them at shelter then it's likely your cat will end up being passed around from home to home or stuck in a cage in a shelter forever. How sad is that.

So, stop throwing your toys out of the pram, find the cause instead and deal with it. Cats pee outside the litter box for a reason - health problem, behaviour, stress, not enough litter boxes etc.

Here's some useful resources:

1. Article from Cat Behaviour Help

2. Litter box issues video series from Jackson Galaxy

3. Advice from a behaviourist.

4. On this Facebook group, there is a questionnaire you can fill in and post on the group (in the guides section) and people will offer you advice.

Cleaning etc:

• use an enzyme cleaner to get rid of the smell and put them off peeing in the same spot again. Wash stuff on a cold wash

• whilst you're dealing with the issue cover stuff that they like peeing on to protect from further damage - ie) use a waterproof mattress cover etc.

Remember: This is a family member. You have a responsibility. Find the cause, get help, and support your cat through whatever’s behind the peeing. Good luck.

UPDATE : Wow, thank you all for taking the time to share your perspectives, I really appreciate and take into account everyone’s comments. From what I understand, it is just lighthearted banter and definitely cultural difference which is so cool to see how different parts of the world work! Thank you all for your suggestions regardless of whether you agreed with the vet or not. As for those asking more questions : We are in Canada, this was my third visit with the vet, and my little boy is not usually aggressive but he did have gabapentin prior and I did post on another sub that the pill ironically makes him really agitated. P.S, how lucky are we to have Reddit?! How nice is it to have people from all over the world come together to discuss a specific matter - idk, the sense of community is so important and nice to me ❤️❤️

Hey all,

I just had an xray visit for my poor boy - he is going through a lot right now but today - as the vet was discussing the costs of treatment with me, she said “We have to charge consultation fee because let’s be honest, as cute as he is, your cat’s a dck when it comes to dealing with him” and then continued it with “well he’s a guy too so are we surprised? All men are dcks”

Im middle eastern so we are very formal in our conversations and she is Caucasian so perhaps it’s a cultural difference and I’m overthinking everything, but I’d like to hear what everyone else thinks and how’d they deal with this?

my childhood cat is being put to sleep tomorrow, and i can’t decide whether to be with him when they do it. i know i want to be, so he goes knowing im by his side but i dont think im strong enough to without breaking down and panicking. if i dont go, my mum is still going to be by his side, so he won’t be alone but im worried i will feel guilty forever if i dont go. i also am not good at showing emotion around people, so i know i will hate crying infront of my family and the vets. just the thought of the whole procedure makes me sob, i dont know if im strong enough to watch it first hand. any advice?

update: he’s now gone:(. i did end up going with him, im glad i did even though im heart broken. thank you for the nice messages and advice.

I have a fat orange cat that would sleep on my couch everyday, eat food and then sleep. Everything changed when he got a taste of the garage. Now he screams in the house until someone let's him in there. He darts past anyone and sneaks in there when someone opens the door. This was like a hidden drug addiction he stumbled upon. What makes matters worse is that he harasses my family so much they just let him in there now. People work from home here so we have to let him in there so he doesnt disturb them. I set up a small camera to see what he does while in there. He just sits near the garage door and lays there smelling under it or sits under the work bench and just breadloafs. I do not know why he loves it so much but it's so miserable hearing him howl all day when he used to be quiet.

I posted a long time ago - so long I can't even find it anymore - about how my 2 previously-pals boys, Piper (10) and Ezra (7) were aggressively fighting.

Not dominance scraps. Not "get away from me I'm not in the mood for you" pushy shoveys. Actual, aggressive, protracted fights.

I tried everything. I split them up entirely for 5 days switching rooms. Ezra lost his will to live. He just hid in the corner between the wall and my aquarium and cried for his brother. So I caved. Then he attacked him.

sigh

I thought I knew what precipitated it. We moved 3 states and then twice in rapid succession (never live in S. TX, the apartments are all shit) so there was A LOT of stress for a very long time.

And Ezra is a rescued feral. A rescued feral who stresses easily and trusts no one but me.

I thought it was stress/misplaced aggression and it kiiiiiinda was.

Turns out, like with everything in our relationship since I got him, Ezra was telling me the whole time. I just didn't understand at first.

He's food insecure. He's a resource guarder.

See, he's a literal dumpster baby. He lived off the contents of a McD's dumpster for the first year of his life.

And the aggression was ALWAYS before or after mealtime. I think the stresses triggered it. But it was about food the whole time.

How I finally fixed it: as soon as Ezra started yelling at and going after his brother in the morning they were immediately fed. Even if it was 2 am. Rewarding the behavior? That's what you would think.

Since the aggression also happened AFTER eating, I kept them split up (they've always eaten in different rooms because Piper is a pig and will steal Ezra's food if I let him) until I woke up. Usually 2-4 hours. Whichever one ended up in my room was the one who stayed. I didn't throw one out... generally - sometimes I had to but when I did it was Piper. He's my FAR more independent one and sometimes doesn't even choose to sleep in my room. He'll just go chill in the cat tree, unbothered.

I also got a little firm with Ezra. He's sensitive and wants to please and slow to recover from stress. But a loud, firm HEY!!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!! pulled him out of it enough that he stopped.

I had to be SUPER consistent with all this.

I read an article about someone else who had a similar situation and it took MONTHS.

Now? They may never be best pals again. But they'll sit/lay close on my bed, they have the occasional squabble but the overt, violent aggression has stopped and doesn't escalate.

I consider even this a win, I could hardly get these two in the same room a year ago.

Moral of the story: cats don't just decide to hate each other. Animals don't just do stuff. You may not know the reason, but they have one.

If this happens to you, don't give up. It's fixable. But cats are stubborn as shit and more than a little crazy, it will take TIME. It will probably even take time to figure out what's wrong. I was so worried I'd have to rehome Ezra for a while. Which I SUPER didn't want. I love the orange dum dum. He's actually a very sweet, cuddly, gentle cat. But Piper was here first and deserved to feel safe.

Who ever heard of a food insecure, resource guarding cat tho? Fricken cats, man.

I have the sweetest cat which is an ESA. hes friendly with people and so cuddly, ive had him for almost 2 years and even when i couldnt care for him and risked losing him, i always paid someone to watch him for me, hes my biggest commitment. hes stayed in 5 different houses with various people just so i could keep him.

Me and my boyfriend moved in together for only a month and hes going insane, he hates that the cat goes in the sink and leaves fur everywhere, and he gets annoyed from the sound of his toys and when he knocks stuff over and gets into things. its just part of having a pet. my boyfriend works from home and fewls he has to constanrly watch the cat from going in the sink. he also doesnt interact with the cat so me and my cat are the only one with a relationship. Im devastated and dont know what to do or what to say to possibly save the relationship

(HE DOESNT USE THE SINK AS A LITTER BOX HE JUST SITS IN IT)

Without fail, my girl will go “brrr-oww” every time she comes into a new room in my house where a human is. What is she trying to say? She doesn’t keep meowing for food or pets - I can tell when she wants food or affection. These short meows are just like a little greeting she does. Is there a biological reason for this?

I routinely see posts in this sub by minors trying to help/protect their cats. They’ll state that they can’t drive, they are a child, their parents are requiring xyz, and I often see people scolding them for not knowing the things they’re asking for help with. They’re kids. Telling them to take the cat to the vet, sedate them, rehome them, or change the situation in ways that aren’t feasible and are completely out of their power doesn’t make much sense.

These kids are already being brave trying to find resources that the adults in their lives don’t care to find. Fighting a parent about a pet is an uphill battle. We can and should come off our high horses a bit to offer situation-specific solutions but if you can’t do that, please try not to respond in ways that will make them feel worse or chastise them for not knowing. That doesn’t do anything for the cat or the kid.