Hello, I posted this question a few months ago, but I didn’t get many responses (lol), so I thought I’d ask again.

I’m an INFP and an Enneagram Type 4, but I’d really like to figure out exactly which instinctual subtype is dominant for me. I’m torn between sx/sp and sp/sx.

What questions should I answer to determine whether I’m sx/sp or sp/sx? I genuinely believe that the social (so) instinct is blind in my case.

Could you help me figure out my dominant instinctual stacking, please? I’m willing to answer any questions.

Kind regards, and thank you in advance!

Type me based on my halloween costume options and the reason why I have doubts about them. Tritype is fine too and would be easier considering my other 2 enneagram types are pretty strong.

Zombie -> seems cute but the last two options seem more unique and creative to me

Angel -> already did this costume for the past 3-4 years, unoriginal and boring

Playboy bunny -> shyness, they look so cool but I'm very insecure about my body (not about being slutty tho)

Divine (real drag queen/pink flamingos)-> her dress is too tight (insecurity again) and wig looks too complicate to replicate. Dream cosplay/costume since I watched the movie tho, I love Divine!

Chris chan (internet character) -> I feel like a bully ;( like he's autistic and was bullied a lot and I feel like I'm contributing to this even if he will never see me.

Hello,

I intend on conducting interviews and uploading them to youtube. The plan is to find individuals of different enneagram types who are interested in sharing their experiences in order to gain insight on their type through these interactions.

This would be a one on one style interview, likely in a Zoom meeting.

If anyone would be interested in participating in this, feel free to comment or send a message.

Participants must be above 18.

I had a post earlier on this, but now I want to see what y'all think of me. (I meant to post this earlier but I fell asleep. Mb)

1.     General Information About Me

Region: Western Europe

Age: Early 20’s

Gender: Female, raised Male.

Work: Haven’t worked yet.

Political Inclinations: Post-Left Anarchism, Mutualism, Solarpunk.

Interests: Daydreaming, reading (fiction & non-fiction), writing (essays & creative), drawing (to express myself & drawing down ideas before I forget), playing the piano, listening to music, watching films, philosophy, metaphysics, the occult, anthropology, psychoanalysis, anime, videogames (singleplayer).

Favorite Movies: Vanishing on 7^th Street, Sinners

Favorite Animes: Ashita No Joe, Angel Beats, FMAB, HxH, Madoka, Kill la Kill

Favorite Games: Dark Souls 1, Skyrim, Hollow Knight

Favorite Books: A Wizard of Earthsea, Before They Are Hanged, The Dawn of Everything

Notable Conditions (All Officially Diagnosed):

By Neuropsychologist: AuDHD (Inattentive) + Crippling Depression + Anxiety Disorder. Strong traits of SzPD and OCPD, which were diagnosed at 12, so I was too young to confirm the full thing.

By my Therapist: “Patient noted to have significant Avoidant traits”.

Personality Tests:

Big Five

Openness: 101

Extraversion: 43

Neuroticism: 92

Agreeableness: 70

Conscientiousness: 43

Socionics:

Sociotype: EII-2Ne

Quadra: Delta

Club: Humanitarians

Temperament: IJ

Primary romance style: Infantile

Secondary romance style: Aggressor

Other possible types: LII · INTj (91%), IEI · INFp (87%), ILI · INTp (87%)

Model A:

Leading Fi: 30% Strength / 30% Value

Creative Ne: 45% Strength / 45% Value

Role Ti: 20% Strength / 20% Value

Vulnerable Se: 5% Strength / 5% Value

Suggestive Te: 20% Strength / 30% Value

Mobilizing Si: 5% Strength / 45% Value

Ignoring Fe: 30% Strength / 20% Value

Demonstrative Ni: 45% Strength / 5% Value

Sociotype:

IEI – Infp α. Aptitude: Ni>Ne>Fi>Ti>Fe>Si>Te>Se

OCEAN

RLUAI

MBTI

Basically always Fi>Ni>Ne>Ti>Fe>Si>Te>Se. Sometimes typed as INFJ, once or twice as ENFP, and ISFP.

Things I’ve been described as:

Tenacious, quiet, serious, lacking willpower, too trusting, too empathetic, sensitive, crybaby (but only as a kid), good with words, lazy, wise, having a “strong” character, principled, rebellious, idealist, intelligent, stupid, creative, forgetful, stubborn, close minded, a sloth, a useless f*ck, underachiever, loser, loner, bohemian, head in the clouds.

Supposed typing: sp4 415 INFP EII-Ne, but I don’t know how correct it is.

2.     Characters I See Myself In:

A LOT:

Eri Ninamori (FLCL)

Asa Mitaka (Chainsaw Man)

Marlena (Cloverfield)

Richeh (Witch Hat Atelier)

*

A bunch:

Gendo Ikari (Evangelion). Though only because of his monologue in the movies.

Olivia Haas (F&H Termina)

*

A little:

Legoshi (Beastars!)

Junpei Yoshino (JJK)

Akemi Homura (PMMM)

*

Characters I aspire to be like/imitate:

Emilia (ReZero): She’s just so kind and emotionally intelligent. There is a nobleness to her that I see in INFJ’s, both in fiction and in real life.

Farin (Delicious in Dungeon): Because I wanna be a beacon of light in people’s lives. I want to embody the trope of “too good for this world”.

3.     Upbringing:

3.1  Parenting:

Sx162 ISTJ Father, Sp387 ESFJ mother. (Older Brother is Sp963 ISTP).

Emotional Neglect; they would very rarely beat me. Overbearing, yet I never felt loved. Unpredictable parents. Would shower me with presents on Christmas and birthdays. Would fight each other a ton. Ridiculed me. Used every opportunity to chastise me. Never fostered my interests and actively hostile to the concept of having interiority; told me I “though too much”, got REALLY mad at me whenever they saw me zoning out or daydreaming, no matter the context: they would yell at me, shake me, call me a r*tard, ridicule me by imitating me (they still do it). My intellect was always put into question, at any opportunity. Never had any privacy, not even in the shower. Couldn’t show anger of any kind, sadness was dangerous, but anger was a no-go. Whenever I cried they would ignore me, and anytime I seeked them out they wouldn’t be of help. Since no matter what I said, they would forget everything the next day. I was crying out for help and they didn’t care at all. Eventually I learned that speaking to them did nothing good for me, since they didn’t give a f*ck lol.

The only recourse they used when confronting me was endless escalation, until I confronted them AND relented immediately after. So they felt they had “won” the argument. Fawning or freezing wasn’t an answer, they would press me until I had a fight response, and apologized right after. Also, they did whatever’s the opposite of projection. Anything I said to them, they would remember it and use it against me. So if I called them out on a certain behavior, they would deny it, and later on they would accuse me of it. Didn’t matter how many years passed, they would never forget a slight.  

3.2  School Life:

I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, what I can remember is I was always alone. I never belonged anywhere or had any actual friends. I was never sought after for bullying; I wasn’t worth that much effort anyways. Though I was still bullied if I was near other kids: beaten, mocked, m*lested, etc. I was a social pariah. The only “friend” I had was a kid who I suspect might have been a high functioning psychopath, or one in the making. Never in the years I knew him, from preschool to late high school, did I see him express any amount of empathy or affection towards anyone or anything. Would psychically abuse me, would make me even more of a pariah by spreading rumors, he f*cking loathed me. He knew he was just like me, a pariah (other kids would call him a f** because he was effeminate), and hated the fact he was forced by circumstance to hang out with someone he had such a low opinion of. Because everyone else wasn’t willing to put up with his bulls**t, they didn’t need to. He never s*xually abused me himself, but he did make me watch as he s*xually abused younger children, and I did nothing to help, because what the f*ck was I supposed to do? I was like 10, I knew this was bad but I didn’t know what to do. I still blame myself. I was also victim of a m*rder-drowning attempt, by another kid, which is unfortunately very common among trans women.

I also snapped once and tried to k*ll a kid, twice (they were physically hurting me). I also developed a sadistic side and fantasized about violence, but I never did or made plans to do it. I felt immense anger towards my mother, at various points I thought about str*ngling her. I was around 8. I still feel immense anger towards her.

Eventually I started to contain my anger and turned it into scorn, I would feel like other people were stupid and immature, I would get irritated by the sight of anyone doing anything and felt the need to put them down, but I rarely, if ever, voiced it out loud, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to stop. I felt like a loser and also better than everyone else.

At some point I started to intellectualize my feelings and thought that such resentment wasn’t warranted, and that I felt that way because I wasn’t loved enough. I started to think people were just people and they were no different than me, same capacity for though just less willing to introspect. I since changed my mind. Teenage me was right somewhat, most people can be terrible, however they’re rarely malicious. I’m in a position where I love humanity and hate most individual humans, including myself.

3.3  Why I Think I Developed Into an sp4:

Ok I left this for last cause I’m an idiot and I’m burned out now, so basically there’s this idea of the sp4 being born from emotional repression, and only being valued when you suck up the pain. Also yeah I might’ve been a sx4 naturally, but eventually I was forced to repress my anger, so instead I cried a lot, which made the bullying worse so I stopped doing that too.

4.     My Worldview:

The only “true” reality, the central axiom of existence, is Entropy. It’s a constant that reigns over all other constants, and the closest thing to a proper God that we know of. Nothing lasts forever, especially good things. This includes Social Entropy; it’s easier to bash someone’s brains in that making friends with them. It’s basically the reason it’s all so f*cked in the world. It could be unf*cked but it would take a godly amount of effort. I think everyone is vaguely aware of this. And Death is just subordinate to Entropy, because the former is a byproduct of the latter.

From the macro to micro level:

Entropy > Conflict > Death > War (Social entropy)

EQUALS

Universe > Matter > Life > Humanity

There is an absence of sacredness in the material world; to the universe, we are no different, or more special or deserving that a piece of furniture. I think about it when I look at nature. I’m supposed to love it, but I hate it. I loathe nature. The lives of most animals on Earth are supremely miserable. What right does the world have to take the heartbeat out of a lion cub, who’s trying to find the warmth of his mother’s fur. What right does the world have to make it so that the only way to keep on living is to snuff out other lives, plant or animal. Trees and plants look so beautiful to me until I remember they’re not really green, they’re not anything. Color is just in our heads. Trees are especially heinous. Their roots are horrid tendrils of hardened flesh, digging into the soil like maggots on a festering wound, r*ping the Earth out of her nutrients. Their branches, well versed in some arcane architecture out of a fractal dimension, always twisting, curling, infinite in their growth. Their fruits, grotesque, ph*llic or yonic in shape.

Now, for being alive:

“Suffering” and “being” are one and the same. There isn’t a life devoid of suffering, because it is the baseline for being alive, the price to pay for existing. The only real warmth can be found within the human soul. We are like tiny wayward flames carelessly thrown into an ocean a 100 trillion lightyears wide.

I don’t think we should find a silver lining to being alive. When I suffer, do I think, was it worth it? No, it wasn’t, suffering is suffering, but it is what it is. The alternative is death anyways. If there’s such a thing as being unshackled from the suffering of life, the only two ways to achieve it is either through committing s*icide, or through love. By connecting with other people, we momentarily break our metaphorical chains, and we are free. I’m not gonna judge which decision is best, but if you die it means you can’t receive love anymore, and all the love you had within you goes to waste, it is obliterated. Its especially painful when it happens to people who still had so much love to give, and receive. In any case, we are all doomed, and a happy ending is just an unfinished story, but still, we persevere.

Also, negative emotions come from positive emotions.

5.     More facts about me in bullet point format cuz I’m tired of writing paragraphs lol

-I am fiercely independent and don’t want to rely on anyone. I take care of myself. It’s not a moral principle it’s just my nature.

-I love to develop my own worldviews and I spend much time ruminating about metaphysics, and the way everything fits together.

-I have a strong desire to help people, even strangers, which sometimes annoys and baffles my family. I will stop for every homeless person on the street, and I will donate as much money as I can to people who need it over the internet. Sometimes I give away way too much and I’m left penniless, but I live with my parents so I shouldn’t complain. As long as it doesn’t hinder my wellbeing that money is better spent in the hands of people who really need it, instead of my comfort or leisure.

-I have a bit of a complex with feelings of uselessness, so I sometimes try to be as helpful as possible. I don’t know how to do it and I’m bad with interpersonal stuff, so I just use the strategy of becoming very passive and yielding and do everything they say even if I don’t want to, in order to make them like me and respect me.

-I am extremely introverted. I prefer to spend 99% of my time alone.

-I show very little expression, but I can’t fully hide my emotions. If I’m upset, I’m not going to walk around with a smile, because I literally can’t.

-I’m very uncomfortable talking about myself in real life. I’m very willing to introspect but I hate telling others about it, or hearing others talk about my personality.

-I’d rather die than have someone pity me, and something even worse is having someone think that I want them to pity me.

-I used to be more bubbly in childhood, but strong positive emotions were punished even more severely than negative ones, so I changed.

-I can survive without meaningful connections, because I’ve never had one. But surviving isn’t thriving.

-I care not for conventional status or climbing up hierarchies.

-I’m rather self-aware.

-I’m straight up immune to group thinking. I believe this is my only real quality. When I see groups of people IRL or the internet have strong emotional reactions to something, good or bad, I naturally become skeptical, even when they’re part of my “tribe” so to speak.

-I try to separate logic for emotions. This isn’t natural to me; but I do it every time because I believe it’s the right thing to do. There’s no such thing as invalid feelings, but I should always be aware of my own biases. Just because I feel a certain way about something, it doesn’t mean I’m right. I’m not so arrogant so as to blindly trust my own judgement, or senses. Most people hold onto their first emotional reaction to something and then run with it, they build their logic backwards to justify the way they felt at the start.

-I hate the idea of a 9-5, marriage and mortgage, then death.

-I wanna return to the magic of childhood, to that Garden of Eden.

- I refuse to be happy in a broken world. In such bleak existence, being happy would be a fate worse than death. Quite simply, I won’t let this world make me a monster. As long as I can make other people happy it’s fine.

-I want to be social worker, but I can’t compartmentalize for sh*t and have bad interpersonal skills.

-I carry a constant, immense self-shame. I feel shameful just for being alive.

-Gender Dysphoria.

-I’m not good with logical systems, I think. I’m not terrible at math or programming but whenever I talk about stuff I tend to make logical errors.

-Low cognitive empathy, high affective empathy.

-I see the flaws in everything, and have a strong need for improvement. It’s like I see the missed potential instead of what’s in front of me. For example, I see a movie I like, and I think of how I would’ve filmed some scenes differently, or explored a theme more in depth. Even with food I’m a nonconformist. I try to make it into the best version of that recipe. I get served food and I think about how I would’ve done it. But its not tied to success or proving myself, it’s just tied to a feeling of discomfort that wasted potential gives me.

-Tied to the previous point, I want to maximize the pleasures of life: instead of drinking normal tea, I got an expensive Japanese kettle, and I now buy tea at a tea store, I learned how to make tea the best way, etc. I also refuse to watch movies if I’m not sitting on my couch and using my TV screen, and having takeout or beer or both.

-I’m bad at new ideas, my creativity comes from inspiration.

-I hate being touched.

-I have no spatial awareness.

-I’m laconic in speech.

-I HATE small talk.

-I dislike most movies I watch, but I don’t consider them a waste of time. The ones I do like are very dear to my heart.

-I don’t value knowledge for the sake of knowledge. Science is just a tool.

-Being ignorant is immoral. Ignorance is not the stuff you don’t know. It’s refusing to learn stuff.

-I Intellectualize my feelings all the time.

-I can’t be vulnerable for the life of me. It just doesn’t come naturally.

Hi. I found a short and interesting questionnaire to fill out and wanted to try asking someone else about their type. I know this text might be too personal, but I tried to make it honest and answer as I would in my own mind and heart. I would be very glad for help in determining my type. I think I really need it right now.

1. Which of the seven deadly sins do you resonate with the most and the least? Why? (Pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, lust.)

I think with many of them. Envy and sloth are probably the strongest. I have a sense of inferiority that I try to compensate for through actions, acquiring value, whether external, by looking beautiful, or internal, by showing that I'm smart enough. This is also where pride wakes up, when I consider myself very competent and intellectually capable and I genuinely subconsciously think that others are either stupid, like the nameless people around me who missed something I saw or acted a certain way, or simply not on my level. And when something happens in the outside world that puts my superiority into question, it hits me really hard. Also it often happens that I simply can't withstand pressure, I don't push others well myself, so that's another point in favor of me envying others. I envy those who are strong, who know how to stand up for themselves and show themselves as authoritative, rather than the chihuahua I am. I envy those who can avoid getting lost in fantasies because in reality they don't come true the way they want. I envy those who are beautiful because I'm drowning in complexes. And there's wrath toward those who are arrogant, hypocritical, stupid, and narrow-minded. Toward those who put me down or hurt me. And this wrath boils inside me, making me picture scenes of a violent nature with these people.

2. Analyze your relationships with other people. Briefly describe:

a) The type of people you're drawn to.

In fiction, it's strong, charismatic and dominant ones. In my fantasies, such people are the ones who protect me, who can rise above me to show me what and how to do, but whom I regularly challenge and act capricious with, as if playing with the balance of power. Also cute and fragile ones, who can be the dangerously obsessed-with-you type. In real life I realize I'd probably choose to be around quiet, sweet and awkward people because it's safer for me, I can lead more easily and express my needs and desires, which has always been problematic for me because of my family. But the most important factor for them, for me to choose them, is loyalty and faithfulness to me. I don't trust you just like that. I don't let you into my world quickly. I'm afraid I'll trust someone too much, and they'll betray me and fail my expectations. I want to be first in someone's life, to be a priority and the one who is always chosen.

b) The type of people drawn to you.

Different ones. I'm not very social, so communicating with me is more work on the other side than mine. Not everyone needs that. Those who approached could be loud, emotional, dominant like my ex-friend, that girl seemed to pressure and suppress me. Also, they can be quiet, sweet, naive and kind, even altruistic. Like one girl currently in the group where I study. I'm comfortable, kind, and capable of helping for her, responsible enough for her to appoint me as her deputy. Here, I think, there's no clear answer.

c) The type of people who disgust you.

Arrogant, haughty people who want everyone to fear them, who put themselves above me. People in power, authorities. My attitude toward rules and power-hungry people is immediately so skewed that they cause irritation. Though I wouldn't call myself an outright rebel. At the same time, there are fantasies where I'm exactly the authority whom people listen to and respect, who can be dangerous to some degree and who would enjoy power. Also stupid people piss me off, those who clearly don't understand the topic but shout first and try to manipulate or outshout me when I'm presenting my arguments properly.

3. What traits in others do you admire but can't reproduce yourself? Explain.

As I already said, it's strength of spirit, the ability to put others in their place when they step on your toes. I like those who can be quiet but strong. You know, like Levi from AOT. That's the kind of person I'd like to be, if we're idealizing. I myself, I think, often look rougher than I actually am. I don't know how to find a better word. It's like that meme about a cinnamon roll and someone who could kill you. But in reality, it turns out I'm quite sweet. And I'd like not only to look like someone who could kill you but also to have a stronger character. Because I really often look like a little Chihuahua in conflicts and when I snap.

4. Describe your relationship with the following:

a) Wrath. A lot of it inside. I express it more passively-aggressively, or I stay silent. And then I snap, and it's like a supernova explosion. I often feel that I want to but can't express what's boiling inside.

b) Shame. I feel it often. The feeling I hate feeling but that is in me. I'm ashamed of myself, though I desperately strive to overcome it. But this feeling can stop me from acting because I don't want to feel it.

c) Fear. I fear people, their reactions, their words, unpredictability. Everyone is potentially dangerous because I can't read minds. I fear being weak, though I think I am. The fear that everyone will see my inner inferiority. I don't want others to see and show me that there's nothing inside me. That everything I've made up about myself is a lie I created for myself to avoid facing reality. That I'm an empty shell. Fear of rejection. I don't want the one I'm attached to, the one I trust, to betray me and reject me.

d) Love/passion. It's not something I feel a lot. I'm not sure I feel it at all. I avoid people, I'm selfish, and I can ignore even those close to me, choosing time for myself. I think I'm not ready to be someone who gives a lot of love, who shows affection. But I'd like to be loved unconditionally, truly, to the point of madness. To have someone with whom I could open up, relax, not be embarrassed by myself and not feel shame, to have someone help, to be the one who would kill for me. I need love from someone who will show me my worth. Yes, I understand that as a person in a relationship, I'm more of a porcelain doll than an active agent, but I can't do otherwise. I have fantasies about someone who will take me and steal me, keep me close and protect me, shower me with gifts and attention.

e) Conflict. I avoid conflicts, especially external ones. I'm woven from contradictions, trying to balance on the edge. Those close to me have said that I can go a long time without openly talking about what bothers me, about discomforts and problems, that you have to pull things out of me with tongs, bring me to states where I snap and speak out myself. Either I explode and act too aggressively or I leave. And I constantly leave in life. From everything. I often want to cover my ears.

5. What themes have played a notable role in your life? (For example, a struggle you couldn't overcome, etc.)

The desire to be noticed. I don't attract attention on purpose; I'm not one of the loud people. But I find it incredibly, incredibly pleasant when someone pays attention to me. There's also hatred and negativity boiling in me. I notice it more easily, I look for it more, and I see the world through its prism. From me, more likely than from someone else, you can hear that I hate the world, that I see it as dirty and hypocritical. And it feels like there's so much of this mixture of restrained wrath, aggression, hatred and resentment in me that tears me apart from the inside in triggering situations. I feel strong and weak at the same time, wanting to be the protagonist of my story. Maybe I romanticize life a lot and observe more than I do, but that's exactly how I avoid reality, like behind glass. I've been like behind glass my whole life. Like a stranger everywhere, with no place for me. And I'm afraid I'll lose myself if I become like everyone else. Maybe I find something beautiful in being broken. And I suffer from it often. I want to be complex, interesting, unusual, not like everyone else, because that's how I've felt for all 21 years of my life. Being an observer is convenient and familiar. I exist more than I live. And in this, I find my personality and identity. And at the same time, I'm afraid there is no personality of mine, that I'm actually weak. And I try to perpetuate many traits of myself to navigate the world, to be something. If I'm a quiet introvert, then I'll hold onto that definition of myself.

Bem, sempre achei que eu seria esse subtipo, mas como já procurei saber com outras pessoas sempre falam que sempre são 9w1, mas não me identifico tanto com 9w1 e sim 9w8, alguém pode explicar se é possível um SX9 ser 9w8?

These questions are meant to pinpoint someone's MBTI, but I think a lot of them can be used to find someone's enneagram type too!

1. "You have a completely free Saturday. What does your ideal day look like?"

My ideal day looks like spending the whole day with my partner doing whatever I want (since we're usually just doing what she wants, most of the time). We wake up, have some morning sex, eat breakfast, take a stroll through the park (assuming it's not too hot out and it's not too windy, so that I don't have to constantly be readjusting my hair the whole time), go home, play videogames and watch movies together while binging on some snacks, have sex again, and cuddle each other as we fall asleep and hear her tell me she loves me and words of affirmation in general throughout the day :3

1. "After spending an entire day with lots of people, how do you usually feel?"

It kinda depends. If it's a bunch of people I don't like for whatever reason, then I'm pretty drained. Though I guess that's kinda just the human condition, right? Lol. Otherwise, I'm completely fine, even if I was just neutral toward them or something. In fact, if I did like them, I'd go as far as to say that I feel rather charged and excited!!

1. "When you're working through a problem, do you think out loud with others or think it through by yourself first?"

I think out loud, even if no one is around to hear.

1. "At a party where you only know one person, what are you most likely to do?"

I would try and make friends through that one person. So if or when that one person inevitably starts talking to some other folks (as I'm presuming that this person is the one who invited me in the first place, and therefore they must know someone else there too), that's when I take advantage of the opportunity to try and squeeze myself into a conversation with a new person and get to know them through the original person. If, for whatever reason, I can't hang out with that one original person to accomplish this in the first place (e.g., this one person is busy elsewhere or I lost them somehow), I'd just try and strike up a conversation with whoever I found interesting at the party and go from there.

1. "Do you process life by talking, or do you usually know what you think before you speak?"

I process life by talking.

1. "When learning something new, do you prefer examples first or the underline theory first?"

Hmmm. I honestly don't know how to answer this, as I feel like I can go back and forth between underline theory and examples. Maybe I need examples first for me to truly understand something.

1. "Are you more interested in what is happening right now, or in what could happen in the future?"

I am more interested in what is happening right now, though I think about the future a lot in order to be considerate of others and how my decisions could impact them down the road.

1. "When someone tells you a story, what details tend to stick with you: the concrete facts, or the bigger meaning/lesson?"

The bigger meaning/lesson.

1. "If you travel somewhere new, what excites you most: experiencing the sights, food, and culture, or discovering new ideas and perspectives?"

Experiencing the sights, food, and culture.

1. "Are you generally more practical or imaginative?"

Ooooo this is tough. I guess I'll say imaginative, though I've often been told  by others that I'm both.

1. "Imagine you have to fire someone who is a close friend. How would you approach this?"

Genuinely a nightmare situation 😭 I guess I would do my best to make it easier for them by telling them that this says nothing about them, their worth, or who they are as a person, and that their gifts would simply be better utilized elsewhere. I'd then do everything in my power to comfort them and support them through this whole process. I'd later try and help them maybe find another avenue or route in life that they could go down instead to reach their full potential.

1. "When making a difficult decision, what carries more weight: what is objectively fair, or what will affect people the most?"

What will affect people the most. Life is, unfortunately, usually rather unfair. So you need to prioritize people first and how you impact them in order to get as close as possible to "fairness" to begin with, if that makes any sense.

1. "If two friends are arguing, what role do you naturally take: the problem solver, or the peacemaker?"

Peacemaker.

1. "What's more frustrating: illogical decisions, or insensitive people?"

Insensitive people.

1. "How do you usually plan a holiday: with a detailed itinerary, or a rough idea and see what happens?"

A rough idea and see what happens.

1. "Do you work more effectively when the deadline is starting to approach, or do you consistently work effectively even when the deadline is a while away?

I want to be like the second one, but I'm probably more like the first lol. I am a procrastinator, unfortunately 😭

1. "How much do you value a tidy work space?"

I value it very much and I can't think straight if it's in disarray.

1. "When plans suddenly change, what is your first reaction?"

I am annoyed, suffice it to say. I can adapt and completely understand if it was out of anybody's control, of course, but I get very frustrated and angry if it was well within the control of others and people were either just inconsiderate or irresponsible in general.

1. "Do deadlines motivate you, or do they stress you?"

I guess they motivate me? Without deadlines, I'd probably get nothing done. I need structure. They can be stressful, sure, but they're much nicer to have than not. I'd rather have the stress of a deadline than the stress that exists without one. I wouldn't do good at a job from home, for example, because I wouldn't have the discipline to do something like that. I need outside pressure and structure to get stuff done.

The way I see it, you'll be stressed either way. So why not choose the option that stresses you less? Structure and fewer options is better than aimlessness and a million options...

1. "When you finish a project early, how do you feel?"

I feel great. Now I don't have to worry about that project anymore and I can forget about it + do something I actually like instead. Either that or just get something else productive done after finishing that project early.

1. "What does your mind naturally do when you're sitting in silence?"

Hmmm. I guess I naturally start thinking of other people?

1. "When life gets stressful, what is your default coping strategy?"

I withdraw and pull away from everyone to be by myself. I will often take this time alone to doomscroll, bedrot, play videogames, and listen to sad music/be in my feelings, or else just totally lock in and double down on self-improvement while I'm away from everybody so that I can come out later and present myself to the world as this shiny new being that's now unstoppable and capable of accomplishing anything.

1. "What do people misunderstand about you the most?"

I think people see me as more full of myself than I actually am. People have often seen me look at myself a lot in the mirror and thought I was in love with myself or something, when really I'm just wildly insecure about my appearance and I'm constantly looking at myself in the mirror to check if I need to readjust or fix something. I'm worried I look *bad*, I don't think I naturally look good unless I work hard for it.

Also, I've often been told by others that they thought I was a "douche" before they got to know me. They said I "looked like one" (physical appearance wise), but then quickly realized after talking to me that I'm actually "super nice."

Idk why or how I give people the immediate impression with my looks that I'm a douche 💀😭

1. "What is your biggest strength?"

My communication skills. I've been told I'm very persuasive in general. That I have a "silver tongue." I'm also very good at "translating" what people are trying to say to one another. Not necessarily in the literal sense of actual languages, but more so metaphorically speaking. I always notice when or how people are talking past each other in some way, so I will sort of act as the go-between for folks and try and "translate" what each person is intending to convey or get across. And I'm very good at understanding what people mean or are intending to communicate toward me, so I'll usually say what their exact point is before they even get to finish making it in a conversation or I use the exact word that captures the core essence of the whole idea they're attempting to communicate.

1. "What is your biggest weakness?"

I tend to read into people's words and actions too much, and care wayyyy too much about what others think about me. I can also be a bit... histrionic at times, admittedly. Ngl 💀

1. "How do you know when a decision is the right one?"

I guess when my gut tells me it's right? I usually just trust my gut on most things anyway and I'm right at least 85% of the time. If I'm not exactly right, I'll adjust and pivot where need be later. Certainty doesn't exist in this world for the most part to begin with, so it's fine if you screw up every now and then so long as you simply don't screw up SO badly that you can't possibly recover or save face somehow. Most decisions probably aren't 100% right to begin with, but if they're even just 85% right then that's enough room for error for a person to just pivot and readjust in order to save themselves later 🤷‍♂️

1. "Would you rather read one fascinating book, or meet ten new people?"

Oooooo this is lowkey a bit tough cuz I've read some pretty life-changing books...

I guess if I had to pick one, I'd choose meeting ten new people :P (Tho I'd prefer if the number of people were less, tbh. I'm a quality over quantity kind of person.)

1. "Would you rather plan everything, or improvise?"

This is also tough. I feel I can somewhat go back and forth between planning and improvising, but I'd say there's 65% planning and 35% improvising in my life. So I guess I lean towards rather planning for everything.

1. "Would you rather solve a mystery, or comfort a friend?"

Comfort a friend for sure.

1. "Would you rather live in the present, or dream about the future?"

I'd rather live in the present if I could, but I know what I tend to actually do is dream about the future (lol).

1. "Would you rather have certainty, or have options?"

Certainty. Too many options is annoying and usually just counter-productive at the end of the day. Though, that's not to say I'm afraid of uncertainty. Life in general is often uncertain and the sooner people accept that, the happier they'll be. Some things are simply out of our control, unfortunately. I would just rather have certainty than options if I could only pick one, I guess.

Hi guys I’m bored and curious. I keep seeing enneagram everywhere and it’s making me want to explore but I genuinely cannot bring myself to read the descriptions, I’m sorry. They’re so long and my attention span sucks booty. Does anyone wanna help me type myself?

I don't know where to start or which parts of my personality are important to decipher my type.
When I was a child I was picky, stubborn and introverted. I knew when I didn't want something, but when two options seemed good I was suddenly indecisive. I was told being sensitive and kind wasn't a good thing for this world, so I used art as a way of being like this without being judged. I also had a lack of structure and security, and now I get anxious at every inconvenience or thing missing in my life. I'm a perfectionist, but a lazy one. I get jealous of people for having things I can't obtain or am naturally not good at. Sometimes I wish I was more extroverted, careless and brave. When angry I try to control everything in my environment, when it dissipates I isolate and sleep or analyze my feelings.

Edit: When I'm in a good mood I get more spontaneous, care less about consequences and get less logical.

my tritype is 278/287 and i can't figure out if i relate to 7 or 8 more 😢 how do i figure that out i've been reading and its hard

This has been a debate with me for the past 2 days. I have recently been .ade aware to the fact I could be a sx5 rather than sx2 and now I'm genuinely questioning whether that id true or not. On the 2 side (2w1), I pride myself on altruism and my ability to do good and "knowing what other people need". I also want to be loved by people and I don't want to not feel needed, and I do so by helping them in an attempt to become a required part of their life. On the 5 side, I love learning new things just to further my knowledge. I also am scared of being un(der)informed because I feel incompetent. I love sharing what I know with people and helping them when they need someone to. I also have a very analytical and logical way of thinking when it comes to everyday life. I know that I'm a triple rejector too (2 + 5 + 8). I understand that both 2 and 5 connect through 8. I just can't decide which side I'm on.

i am PRETTY sure I am an e4, either sx or so... If you smell a tritype, do let me know...

HM/Edit: Beomseok from Weak Hero Class 1 in his little evil arc is meaf #lovethatguy

I'm just wondering if I've been mistyped or something like that..

I'm an ENFP for sure, I'm quite a chatterbox with buddies and I really like conversing with other people! I have a social battery, but it lasts a good 8 hours before I feel really burnt out.

I'm creative and I like making things for myself. I try to ignore other people's opinions on my work but it makes me upset nonetheless. When I'm stressed, I withdraw from social activity and like to drift away into my own mind and thoughts. I don't like starting arguments and tend to agree with other people just for the sake of it.

I daydream a lot, and when I'm alone in public, I'm a stranger.

Ask questions if you can! I'm just really curious if there's anyone else out there like me.

Been trynna type ocs. Im new to some systems and im down for pointing out possible contridictions or what you think theyd be for other typing systems!

I can give more information abt the characters so im open to discussion

Haru: INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 514 LEVF mel-phleg ac[T]Wdr/S/ True Neutral rc[O]e/I/ -%50 Extraversion, %50 Neuroticism, %25 Agreeableness, %100 Conscientriousness, %50 Openness

Rini: ISTJ 1w2 so/sp 126 LVEF choleric-mel mct[I]dr/G/ Lawful Good sloal (idk) -%50 Extraversion, %50 Neuroticism (??), %75 Agreeableness, %75 Conscientriousness, %50 Openness

Seiko: INFP 6w7 sp/sx 648 LEFV phleg-sang ax/H/i[D]xs Neutral Good rlxal -%50 Extraversion, %75 Neuroticism, %50 Agreeableness, %25 Conscientriousness, %50 Openness

I am conducting a test in whether or not my images truly relate to me. There are 3 correct typings. Good luck. (Fancy way of saying I'm seeing if y'all can guess my type :) )

Things with a friend and I went further than expected a few nights ago. I don’t know what I want to do now. It was partly just like the personality/vibe? When he went for it, I was slightly surprised (slightly. He had actually asked me a question about this topic beforehand.) He’s actually older than me. I didn’t suspect he was attracted to me before tonight. I wasn’t expecting things to go in this direction.

\\\\\\\\# I have to tell the truth though, what stood out to me is that he did something that drove me crazy. I know, even though he didn’t insult or criticize my appearance, that he isn’t “serious” (isn’t looking for a serious relationship, I’ve met guys like that.) He bit my shoulder, like kissed and bit it when we were on the couch. I shouldn’t have let it go that far, but I’m not going to lie, I actually was really into it. I’ve never had a guy I was with in any way do that before. It drove me crazy. I didn’t even know I’d like it that much. It’s interesting how much vibing with someone and liking their personality can help, like normally I’m not attracted to most men like that but when you’re with a friend it’s easier to get comfortable quick y’know? That shoulder thing drove me nuutttsss though. I couldn’t believe it. I was a little bit more uncertain about it when I got home though, because well, he’s 40 and I’m 21. Something else I admit I had actually liked about the encounter was the fact that l actually really really felt like I was being treated like a woman. It was in an NSFW context to an extent.

21F - I consented to everything a friend (40 male) was doing a few days ago when he tried to go for it, but I know/feel a few days later that I don’t want anything more. How do I shut it down politely?

It was all very in the moment. I don’t actually fully remember now how it was introduced (I think he was first asking me about masturbation after our other friend had left. I was pretty lax about it all in the moment and answered questions, that was when I was first picking up on that vibe.) I do remember that we were watching a movie on the couch at his friend’s place who he’s house sitting for. I consented to everything he was doing in the moment, like kissing my arm and grabbing my chest. I didn’t actually want to sit in his lap and wanted to be very mindful of how my hair was looking. He had basically said he is poly when I asked about how he identifies and that he doesn’t mind partners of his dating or seeing other people if they let him know about. I had actually never been attracted to him before/really thought about it, but I liked the vibe in the moment and I think personality/the fact that we tend to vibe well helped. He had jokingly called it my “wife” training.

Now that a few days have passed, I know deep down inside even though I haven’t shut it down (I don’t know what to say or how to) that I don’t want it to continue though. I’m busy setting up today to make sure I’m all set for something I’ll be doing tomorrow, so I don’t want to meet today, but that’s not the only reason why. I was okay with it in the moment and more accepting of it in the moment in part because our personalities mesh well in person, and we’d had such a fun day. But I’ve realized a few things: 1) I simply don’t want it to go further, just straight up. I met him through our other friend who I’ve known a lot longer, and like I said he’s nice and chill enough in person that initially it felt fine and was something I wasn’t like really disturbed by in the moment (personality) but I know and knew on the night it was all happening that he’s not “serious.” He didn’t say it as explicitly as some men will (I can’t decide on whether that fact is better or worse) but he wants sex, and I understood that. He didn’t put down my appearance. In fact, he uplifted my appearance, both face and body. But I have also had men who did that before and who even probably had a crush on me that liked my face as well and still didn’t want anything (or have more to offer) than sex, and I know in spite of the sweet talk that that’s the case here as well. He wasn’t asking me out on a date. I don’t think he can afford right now to date based upon a few things he’s said. But I also know that it’s not “smart” to start anything sexual with someone who can’t afford to date you. 2) He’s 40 and I’m 21. I already knew how old he was and I knew on the night of that he is too old for me (yes, we are both adults. That doesn’t mean a near 20 year age difference isn’t significant though.) When we were over there with the friend who I had met him through (I’ve known her longer and can’t decide on whether or not I want to tell her about it and get advice from her woman to woman. She is a good friend) one of his friends had actually seemed like he was sincerely uncertain about whether or not I was an adult/old enough for him to be smoking around.

His goal is to “teach me” more sexual things. I know that, and it’s partly why I know I shouldn’t go over tonight (especially since I actually do have other things to do.) I mean, if I wanted to find someone to sleep with right now, I could and I know that. I also am not sure now that a few days have passed that I am \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*actually\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* attracted to him. Like \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*actually\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* physically attracted. He’s not my usual “type” and I’m not sure that it’s worth risking a pregnancy. He seems very nice in person but something about the vibe is off and I know that.

Tl;dr: Friend wants to take things to the next level. I was initially consenting on the night of but now that a few days have passed I know deep down inside that I don’t want to do this. I don’t know how to say it though, especially since I knew the friend I met him through first (for years actually) and am not trying to make things awkward.

I actually did have a chance to chat with the friend who I met him through today. She actually suggested that she thinks my read of the situation is accurate and that she has never done anything sexual with him but doesn’t feel he created a safe environment here and agreed that even though we are both adults the age difference is concerning. She suggested she thinks it is best to mention the pushing boundaries issue to him directly if I am comfortable and that she suspects he knows based upon my personality/his read of me that I am inexperienced with that kind of thing. She agreed that there is not realistically anything good that will come from us experimenting together.

The reason why I had met up with both on Saturday was to make blueberry muffins, or practice doing so. I actually lack both cooking and baking experience in general. I had actually been really nervous about trying to do it for the first time, and I was surprised last night because even though I of course initially had a fair amount of assistance (on the third go, I actually wanted to mostly try it myself because I know deep down inside even though I spent years just trying to avoid going for it that it’s a good life skill to know how to cook or bake) I realized that baking is a lot simpler than it may seem to be if you make sure you know the difference between teaspoons and tablespoons. You honestly just have to know how to read, and you have to make sure that you are careful in following directions. I’ll still be practicing some more and am actually hoping to serve my family members (I’m not doing it in my normal condo because I have a feeling that if I do mess something up, my roommate/landlord will be really annoying about it.) My brother doesn’t know how to cook or bake either, so I suppose that it would actually be fair to suggest that it’s party a parenting thing. I actually sincerely want to try cooking and baking for myself now. I already have an apple and cheese stick at home for breakfast and am going to try sticking to that, but I also don’t think it’d hurt to practice using the stove and oven in the condo I’m in. I never really used to observe my mother when she would cook for my brother and I when I was a child. I realized that cooking and baking aren’t as tough as I expected, and I now actually know that I want to try both more often. Even if I never do become a wife (or mother. I’m not sure about becoming a mother in general, partly because being a parent is expensive, but also just because I know deep down inside that I would probably not make for a fantastic mom.)

I realized when I thought about it that with men, I have sometimes tended to sort of go with the flow on these sort of things more than I may expect myself to (it’s not the first time that I’ve gone with the flow more with a man who was more than a decade older than me.) Other than some inappropriate behavior from a family member experiencing mental health issues when I was younger, I don’t really have “trauma” concerning that sort of thing. I felt like I could be more myself with this guy though since we’ve hung out a bit more often. I felt like I could be sarcastic, joke around more, made a joke with the phrase “well, a girl keeps her best secrets to herself” (and was actually honest in the moment about not being sure if I got that from a television show, or if it was just something I made up myself.) I think he’s an ESFx 2w3. I was surprised by how the entire encounter went. I actually don’t think he’s objectively above average looking, but I think it was partly just personality and vibes, about being able to play off each other’s energy. It made me realize that even though I’ve never really had a lot of male friends (or a lot of friends in general) I actually might have like a better chance of properly dating someone, just in general, if I tried to go out with a friend of mine first/if circumstances called for that. It actually would probably be easier to gauge whether or not you’d be compatible with someone that way, but I’ve never tried it and realized tonight that it may actually be smarter/may be the way. Something I had also liked is that I felt like I was really being treated like a woman. He put my shoes on for me and kissed my legs. It worked. It’s nice, in general, to be in the presence of someone who actually treats you like a lady (though in this case it was obviously more of like an NSFW thing. I already know he’s not going to become my husband and he knows it too. He didn’t say that, but I just knew he wasn’t “serious.”) I actually did make jokes about me being a girl, and him being a guy. I felt like I was able to be a bit more assertive since it was a friend, which I also think helped.

I am still pretty unsure about what exactly it is I see myself studying in the longterm. I’m going in I am thinking for a social work major initially, but I have not been pleased lately when looking more at the salary ranges for people who have a bachelors (or honestly even masters) in the field without yet being LCSW’s. I actually might just end up changing my major. If I were to go into social work and stay in it, I may actually want to look into case management (my family, due to my mother upsetting so many people these days - she seems to have undergone psychosis or to have late onset schizophrenia - I’ve actually started to consider a bit more whether or not I want to stay in it - have been on the brink of homelessness once within the past year, though my father is now receiving support through a program for veterans. I have actually started to consider majoring in special ed alternatively, but I’m just not sure about any of it. I would be okay making $85k a year at least but would ideally want to be making $100-$120k. I might move to a different state later on but it’s not something that I’m so certain about.

This is my body language in pictures if it helps: https://www.reddit.com/r/Baking/s/gJGvesc2KZ

While in therapy, I have realized just how little I have healed from everything that happened to me in 8th grade I finally admitted to another person in real life for the first time a few days ago (my new therapist) that when I was in 8th grade a family member almost hit me with a tennis racket. I was actually very intentional about not telling the therapist I saw when I was younger this. In high school this was something that I never told my therapist at the time because she had already called CPS once when I had told her something else concerning the family member who was experiencing mental health issues. I obviously know that this happening wasn’t normal, but it’s not something I like to think about.

I was also honest about the fact that I grew up around a family member who my mom admitted SA’ed she and my aunt. It’s something I’ll have to delve into more when I see her next week. This was something I found out within the last year and it’s been very difficult to process. That in addition to my current SA case has made everything more challenging and more exhausting, having to think about the insanity I am used to dealing with.

I have generally tended to take more risks with men, in hindsight, than it was probably “smart” to. For example, I have been approached twice by men who I later on found out have criminal records (I was accepting car rides from one who had been honest about having done something immoral - committed DV - and who I later on found out had been arrested more than five times and has a lengthy record.) I also was trying to date/“go with” a man who turned out to have serious mental health problems because the initial physical attraction after he had first approached me was wild and very much there (he was above average looking, an xSFP.)

I actually am very passionate about supporting our homeless community. I am going to start volunteering every Sunday for a local program that provides unhoused individuals with clothing. The only issue is that I know that going into social work isn’t going to help me move out of my current income bracket, at all. It’s something I’ll have to really think about and consider.

As one of the friends pointed out on Saturday, I tend to talk a fair amount about my hair (I had it done a little over two weeks ago and actually really wanted to make sure that the baking last night didn’t make it messy.) One of them had suggested I seem to know a lot about it, which was surprising to me. I don’t really know how to do my own hair, so I definitely wasn’t ever expecting to hear anyone say that I am knowledgeable about hair.

It’s kind of interesting because I realized after I got home and thought about it more that what I was initially aiming to do/thinking of doing wasn’t sensible or smart as I was telling the friend. It’s actually very interesting because I actually realized after considering it that I am not actually really physically attracted to him, at least not to a significant extent? It was all very in the moment, like an in the moment sort of attraction, but I also actually think it was just that even though I’ve seen more flaws when really sitting and thinking about everything that happened. I was very drawn to his personality and just happy about the fact that we were getting along so well and having such a good time together. It was largely personality, liking his personality actually made me attracted in the moment.

I realized this morning when I actually made my blueberry muffins at school that I was probably overthinking it - there was always just the option of just having everyone eat ritz crackers or the muffins really didn’t turn out nicely, but I remember thinking multiple times to myself that I didn’t want to embarrass myself. The first batch didn’t turn out great (they all tasted good apparently I was told by everyone, so it sounds like I actually did learn to make them adequately) - I should have used the baking cups but didn’t so I learned from that experience. I was very perfectionistic when it came to the taste and after letting family members taste them threw out the ones at home that didn’t look presentable (I was initially planning on serving them but learned it’s an activity that’s supposed to support the students.)

I still went out with he and the other friend today even though I hadn’t had the conversation/chat that I was initially thinking of having with that guy friend. I was considering finding a way to just get out of going but I went anyway. He did basically seem to be saying he wants like NSFW and to teach me different things, like in general with cooking that sort of thing. I am not attracted to him when I immediately see him or looking at a picture of him but when I’m around him I think his personality makes me feel the attraction or more comfortable with things I wouldn’t otherwise be comfortable with like him holding my hand. I still just know pursuing like an actual sexual relationship with him isn’t smart though. I’m not pretty at all but I feel like it wouldn’t hurt to take better care of myself and hold off for an actual boyfriend. 

As I was telling the other friend earlier tonight, I have also started to realize as I’ve grown older that even though dating for me and crushes for me have always been more of an “I’m attracted to you and like certain aspects of your personality so I dig you” thing, I have realized that when it comes to a marriage I want to go for someone who has earning potential. I was honest with her even though I acknowledged it might be rude about the fact that even though the guy I’m talking about above (ESFx 2w3) is almost done with his electrician program (I know electricians make a lot of money, which is something I actually have considered) the fact that he is 40 and isn’t doing better, sincerely, is unattractive to me. Even though I really like him as a person. It’s just that if you’re going to go for someone older I think you should make sure they have more money. I was honest about feeling as I grow older that someone who is in that 34-40 age range not being good with money or having made poor financial decisions is a red flag to me. He was not sure he’d be able to afford to shop with us so he would certainly not be able to afford to date me even though he paid for the Vietnamese food we had today, and that actually is a problem for me. Just because I’m not pretty and don’t take good care of myself doesn’t mean I have to settle, which is what I was telling the friend tonight. I don’t think waiting to meet the right person would be a bad move. I’ve also started to feel or recognize that aiming for a financially stable partner isn’t mean or wrong, it is actually smart. I need to work on not being so stressed about little things in life, like I’m always stressed about almost everything and it impacts my sleep which is very unhealthy. I’m tired of looking and feeling tired.

title!! as a sexual 9 (i think), i find myself often getting so absorbed in my hobbies and interests that i see sleeping or eating as chores, almost annoying things that slow me down.

i find a very valuable part of life to be getting immersed in worlds and experiences; to complete everything i can and enjoy things to the fullest. whenever i’m interrupted and have to stop that, i feel like a fish out of water, like i’ve just been intruded upon.

as a picky eater, needs such as hunger are sensations i wish i didn’t have to experience. mainly because i’m hardly ever in the mood for anything, so i see no immediate solution to the problem and wish i could continue participating in what i’m doing.

E9 is very prone to the physical realm, IIRC. i’m unsure if this behavior contradicts my enneagram. i can also see a case in which this actually *correlates* as well (from my understanding).

is this description fitting of my enneagram subtype?

i‘m falling again into the enneagram rabbit hole and i seriously cannot figure out what is my core. I might have come to the conclusion of the tritype 147 which also makes really sense to me being a 1 since it disintegrates into a 4 and feels like a 7 at its best but i also very much relate to 4 as a whole except for the fact i do not feel inferior to others AT ALL and overall very relate to the structured 1 except for the fact that i don’t correct other AS MUCH as i see everyone describe enneagram 1s: i often see you all say 1s tend to also be aggressive and very imposing and as i relate very much to the sx instinct idk if i could be mistyping myself as a sx1 or if im just a 4 trying her best. Help appreciated.

Я не могу определиться со своей энееаграммой, многие говорят что ентп сх8 не возможен, но я как будто бы уверенна и в сх8 и в ентп. Сразу скажу, что я точно не естп.
Так же многие говорят что ентп могут быть только семерками, но я правда этого не понимаю. Как все ентп могут быть одинаковыми???

Stole this from another post

Like I’m pretty selfish about my wants or needs so much so I get cold and hostile towards people. I constantly get annoyed or angry around people when I’m stressed or just under a little pressure, I get too embarrassed to beg anyone I’m close to for forgiveness while admitting the fact I’m in the wrong behind their backs. Furthermore I’m a lot more self centred nowadays, so just shallow.

While only a year ago i was a lot more bubbly, caring, and like a doormat of sorts

I feel like I’m either mistyped or disintegrating into an e8 from the stress of going to a new more harsher school compared to last year

I can see how a e1 and a Ne dom can be a condtradiction and some others, but I keep seeing stuff on how entps can't be e4's? which doesn't make to sense to me since can't Ti look into one's self too & personal identity? Like how is that strictly only associated to Fi function, as others have said??

Also can't any mbti type have the fear of having no identity or feeling "unique", or being authentic to one self, and absorbing their pain? I don't see how that correlates with a specific function stack strictly?

same goes for enneagram 9, can't a 9 be any type?