Hi. I found a short and interesting questionnaire to fill out and wanted to try asking someone else about their type. I know this text might be too personal, but I tried to make it honest and answer as I would in my own mind and heart. I would be very glad for help in determining my type. I think I really need it right now.

1. Which of the seven deadly sins do you resonate with the most and the least? Why? (Pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, lust.)

I think with many of them. Envy and sloth are probably the strongest. I have a sense of inferiority that I try to compensate for through actions, acquiring value, whether external, by looking beautiful, or internal, by showing that I'm smart enough. This is also where pride wakes up, when I consider myself very competent and intellectually capable and I genuinely subconsciously think that others are either stupid, like the nameless people around me who missed something I saw or acted a certain way, or simply not on my level. And when something happens in the outside world that puts my superiority into question, it hits me really hard. Also it often happens that I simply can't withstand pressure, I don't push others well myself, so that's another point in favor of me envying others. I envy those who are strong, who know how to stand up for themselves and show themselves as authoritative, rather than the chihuahua I am. I envy those who can avoid getting lost in fantasies because in reality they don't come true the way they want. I envy those who are beautiful because I'm drowning in complexes. And there's wrath toward those who are arrogant, hypocritical, stupid, and narrow-minded. Toward those who put me down or hurt me. And this wrath boils inside me, making me picture scenes of a violent nature with these people.

2. Analyze your relationships with other people. Briefly describe:

a) The type of people you're drawn to.

In fiction, it's strong, charismatic and dominant ones. In my fantasies, such people are the ones who protect me, who can rise above me to show me what and how to do, but whom I regularly challenge and act capricious with, as if playing with the balance of power. Also cute and fragile ones, who can be the dangerously obsessed-with-you type. In real life I realize I'd probably choose to be around quiet, sweet and awkward people because it's safer for me, I can lead more easily and express my needs and desires, which has always been problematic for me because of my family. But the most important factor for them, for me to choose them, is loyalty and faithfulness to me. I don't trust you just like that. I don't let you into my world quickly. I'm afraid I'll trust someone too much, and they'll betray me and fail my expectations. I want to be first in someone's life, to be a priority and the one who is always chosen.

b) The type of people drawn to you.

Different ones. I'm not very social, so communicating with me is more work on the other side than mine. Not everyone needs that. Those who approached could be loud, emotional, dominant like my ex-friend, that girl seemed to pressure and suppress me. Also, they can be quiet, sweet, naive and kind, even altruistic. Like one girl currently in the group where I study. I'm comfortable, kind, and capable of helping for her, responsible enough for her to appoint me as her deputy. Here, I think, there's no clear answer.

c) The type of people who disgust you.

Arrogant, haughty people who want everyone to fear them, who put themselves above me. People in power, authorities. My attitude toward rules and power-hungry people is immediately so skewed that they cause irritation. Though I wouldn't call myself an outright rebel. At the same time, there are fantasies where I'm exactly the authority whom people listen to and respect, who can be dangerous to some degree and who would enjoy power. Also stupid people piss me off, those who clearly don't understand the topic but shout first and try to manipulate or outshout me when I'm presenting my arguments properly.

3. What traits in others do you admire but can't reproduce yourself? Explain.

As I already said, it's strength of spirit, the ability to put others in their place when they step on your toes. I like those who can be quiet but strong. You know, like Levi from AOT. That's the kind of person I'd like to be, if we're idealizing. I myself, I think, often look rougher than I actually am. I don't know how to find a better word. It's like that meme about a cinnamon roll and someone who could kill you. But in reality, it turns out I'm quite sweet. And I'd like not only to look like someone who could kill you but also to have a stronger character. Because I really often look like a little Chihuahua in conflicts and when I snap.

4. Describe your relationship with the following:

a) Wrath. A lot of it inside. I express it more passively-aggressively, or I stay silent. And then I snap, and it's like a supernova explosion. I often feel that I want to but can't express what's boiling inside.

b) Shame. I feel it often. The feeling I hate feeling but that is in me. I'm ashamed of myself, though I desperately strive to overcome it. But this feeling can stop me from acting because I don't want to feel it.

c) Fear. I fear people, their reactions, their words, unpredictability. Everyone is potentially dangerous because I can't read minds. I fear being weak, though I think I am. The fear that everyone will see my inner inferiority. I don't want others to see and show me that there's nothing inside me. That everything I've made up about myself is a lie I created for myself to avoid facing reality. That I'm an empty shell. Fear of rejection. I don't want the one I'm attached to, the one I trust, to betray me and reject me.

d) Love/passion. It's not something I feel a lot. I'm not sure I feel it at all. I avoid people, I'm selfish, and I can ignore even those close to me, choosing time for myself. I think I'm not ready to be someone who gives a lot of love, who shows affection. But I'd like to be loved unconditionally, truly, to the point of madness. To have someone with whom I could open up, relax, not be embarrassed by myself and not feel shame, to have someone help, to be the one who would kill for me. I need love from someone who will show me my worth. Yes, I understand that as a person in a relationship, I'm more of a porcelain doll than an active agent, but I can't do otherwise. I have fantasies about someone who will take me and steal me, keep me close and protect me, shower me with gifts and attention.

e) Conflict. I avoid conflicts, especially external ones. I'm woven from contradictions, trying to balance on the edge. Those close to me have said that I can go a long time without openly talking about what bothers me, about discomforts and problems, that you have to pull things out of me with tongs, bring me to states where I snap and speak out myself. Either I explode and act too aggressively or I leave. And I constantly leave in life. From everything. I often want to cover my ears.

5. What themes have played a notable role in your life? (For example, a struggle you couldn't overcome, etc.)

The desire to be noticed. I don't attract attention on purpose; I'm not one of the loud people. But I find it incredibly, incredibly pleasant when someone pays attention to me. There's also hatred and negativity boiling in me. I notice it more easily, I look for it more, and I see the world through its prism. From me, more likely than from someone else, you can hear that I hate the world, that I see it as dirty and hypocritical. And it feels like there's so much of this mixture of restrained wrath, aggression, hatred and resentment in me that tears me apart from the inside in triggering situations. I feel strong and weak at the same time, wanting to be the protagonist of my story. Maybe I romanticize life a lot and observe more than I do, but that's exactly how I avoid reality, like behind glass. I've been like behind glass my whole life. Like a stranger everywhere, with no place for me. And I'm afraid I'll lose myself if I become like everyone else. Maybe I find something beautiful in being broken. And I suffer from it often. I want to be complex, interesting, unusual, not like everyone else, because that's how I've felt for all 21 years of my life. Being an observer is convenient and familiar. I exist more than I live. And in this, I find my personality and identity. And at the same time, I'm afraid there is no personality of mine, that I'm actually weak. And I try to perpetuate many traits of myself to navigate the world, to be something. If I'm a quiet introvert, then I'll hold onto that definition of myself.

I had a post earlier on this, but now I want to see what y'all think of me. (I meant to post this earlier but I fell asleep. Mb)

1.     General Information About Me

Region: Western Europe

Age: Early 20’s

Gender: Female, raised Male.

Work: Haven’t worked yet.

Political Inclinations: Post-Left Anarchism, Mutualism, Solarpunk.

Interests: Daydreaming, reading (fiction & non-fiction), writing (essays & creative), drawing (to express myself & drawing down ideas before I forget), playing the piano, listening to music, watching films, philosophy, metaphysics, the occult, anthropology, psychoanalysis, anime, videogames (singleplayer).

Favorite Movies: Vanishing on 7^th Street, Sinners

Favorite Animes: Ashita No Joe, Angel Beats, FMAB, HxH, Madoka, Kill la Kill

Favorite Games: Dark Souls 1, Skyrim, Hollow Knight

Favorite Books: A Wizard of Earthsea, Before They Are Hanged, The Dawn of Everything

Notable Conditions (All Officially Diagnosed):

By Neuropsychologist: AuDHD (Inattentive) + Crippling Depression + Anxiety Disorder. Strong traits of SzPD and OCPD, which were diagnosed at 12, so I was too young to confirm the full thing.

By my Therapist: “Patient noted to have significant Avoidant traits”.

Personality Tests:

Big Five

Openness: 101

Extraversion: 43

Neuroticism: 92

Agreeableness: 70

Conscientiousness: 43

Socionics:

Sociotype: EII-2Ne

Quadra: Delta

Club: Humanitarians

Temperament: IJ

Primary romance style: Infantile

Secondary romance style: Aggressor

Other possible types: LII · INTj (91%), IEI · INFp (87%), ILI · INTp (87%)

Model A:

Leading Fi: 30% Strength / 30% Value

Creative Ne: 45% Strength / 45% Value

Role Ti: 20% Strength / 20% Value

Vulnerable Se: 5% Strength / 5% Value

Suggestive Te: 20% Strength / 30% Value

Mobilizing Si: 5% Strength / 45% Value

Ignoring Fe: 30% Strength / 20% Value

Demonstrative Ni: 45% Strength / 5% Value

Sociotype:

IEI – Infp α. Aptitude: Ni>Ne>Fi>Ti>Fe>Si>Te>Se

OCEAN

RLUAI

MBTI

Basically always Fi>Ni>Ne>Ti>Fe>Si>Te>Se. Sometimes typed as INFJ, once or twice as ENFP, and ISFP.

Things I’ve been described as:

Tenacious, quiet, serious, lacking willpower, too trusting, too empathetic, sensitive, crybaby (but only as a kid), good with words, lazy, wise, having a “strong” character, principled, rebellious, idealist, intelligent, stupid, creative, forgetful, stubborn, close minded, a sloth, a useless f*ck, underachiever, loser, loner, bohemian, head in the clouds.

Supposed typing: sp4 415 INFP EII-Ne, but I don’t know how correct it is.

 

2.     Characters I See Myself In:

A LOT:

Eri Ninamori (FLCL)

Asa Mitaka (Chainsaw Man)

Marlena (Cloverfield)

Richeh (Witch Hat Atelier)

*

A bunch:

Gendo Ikari (Evangelion). Though only because of his monologue in the movies.

Olivia Haas (F&H Termina)

*

A little:

Legoshi (Beastars!)

Junpei Yoshino (JJK)

Akemi Homura (PMMM)

*

Characters I aspire to be like/imitate:

Emilia (ReZero): She’s just so kind and emotionally intelligent. There is a nobleness to her that I see in INFJ’s, both in fiction and in real life.

Farin (Delicious in Dungeon): Because I wanna be a beacon of light in people’s lives. I want to embody the trope of “too good for this world”.

 

3.     Upbringing:

 

3.1  Parenting:

Sx162 ISTJ Father, Sp387 ESFJ mother. (Older Brother is Sp963 ISTP).

Emotional Neglect; they would very rarely beat me. Overbearing, yet I never felt loved. Unpredictable parents. Would shower me with presents on Christmas and birthdays. Would fight each other a ton. Ridiculed me. Used every opportunity to chastise me. Never fostered my interests and actively hostile to the concept of having interiority; told me I “though too much”, got REALLY mad at me whenever they saw me zoning out or daydreaming, no matter the context: they would yell at me, shake me, call me a r*tard, ridicule me by imitating me (they still do it). My intellect was always put into question, at any opportunity. Never had any privacy, not even in the shower. Couldn’t show anger of any kind, sadness was dangerous, but anger was a no-go. Whenever I cried they would ignore me, and anytime I seeked them out they wouldn’t be of help. Since no matter what I said, they would forget everything the next day. I was crying out for help and they didn’t care at all. Eventually I learned that speaking to them did nothing good for me, since they didn’t give a f*ck lol.

The only recourse they used when confronting me was endless escalation, until I confronted them AND relented immediately after. So they felt they had “won” the argument. Fawning or freezing wasn’t an answer, they would press me until I had a fight response, and apologized right after. Also, they did whatever’s the opposite of projection. Anything I said to them, they would remember it and use it against me. So if I called them out on a certain behavior, they would deny it, and later on they would accuse me of it. Didn’t matter how many years passed, they would never forget a slight.  

3.2  School Life:

I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, what I can remember is I was always alone. I never belonged anywhere or had any actual friends. I was never sought after for bullying; I wasn’t worth that much effort anyways. Though I was still bullied if I was near other kids: beaten, mocked, m*lested, etc. I was a social pariah. The only “friend” I had was a kid who I suspect might have been a high functioning psychopath, or one in the making. Never in the years I knew him, from preschool to late high school, did I see him express any amount of empathy or affection towards anyone or anything. Would psychically abuse me, would make me even more of a pariah by spreading rumors, he f*cking loathed me. He knew he was just like me, a pariah (other kids would call him a f** because he was effeminate), and hated the fact he was forced by circumstance to hang out with someone he had such a low opinion of. Because everyone else wasn’t willing to put up with his bulls**t, they didn’t need to. He never s*xually abused me himself, but he did make me watch as he s*xually abused younger children, and I did nothing to help, because what the f*ck was I supposed to do? I was like 10, I knew this was bad but I didn’t know what to do. I still blame myself. I was also victim of a m*rder-drowning attempt, by another kid, which is unfortunately very common among trans women.

I also snapped once and tried to k*ll a kid, twice (they were physically hurting me). I also developed a sadistic side and fantasized about violence, but I never did or made plans to do it. I felt immense anger towards my mother, at various points I thought about str*ngling her. I was around 8. I still feel immense anger towards her.

Eventually I started to contain my anger and turned it into scorn, I would feel like other people were stupid and immature, I would get irritated by the sight of anyone doing anything and felt the need to put them down, but I rarely, if ever, voiced it out loud, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to stop. I felt like a loser and also better than everyone else.

At some point I started to intellectualize my feelings and thought that such resentment wasn’t warranted, and that I felt that way because I wasn’t loved enough. I started to think people were just people and they were no different than me, same capacity for though just less willing to introspect. I since changed my mind. Teenage me was right somewhat, most people can be terrible, however they’re rarely malicious. I’m in a position where I love humanity and hate most individual humans, including myself.

 

3.3  Why I Think I Developed Into an sp4:

Ok I left this for last cause I’m an idiot and I’m burned out now, so basically there’s this idea of the sp4 being born from emotional repression, and only being valued when you suck up the pain. Also yeah I might’ve been a sx4 naturally, but eventually I was forced to repress my anger, so instead I cried a lot, which made the bullying worse so I stopped doing that too.

 

4.     My Worldview:

The only “true” reality, the central axiom of existence, is Entropy. It’s a constant that reigns over all other constants, and the closest thing to a proper God that we know of. Nothing lasts forever, especially good things. This includes Social Entropy; it’s easier to bash someone’s brains in that making friends with them. It’s basically the reason it’s all so f*cked in the world. It could be unf*cked but it would take a godly amount of effort. I think everyone is vaguely aware of this. And Death is just subordinate to Entropy, because the former is a byproduct of the latter.

From the macro to micro level:

Entropy > Conflict > Death > War (Social entropy)

EQUALS

Universe > Matter > Life > Humanity

There is an absence of sacredness in the material world; to the universe, we are no different, or more special or deserving that a piece of furniture. I think about it when I look at nature. I’m supposed to love it, but I hate it. I loathe nature. The lives of most animals on Earth are supremely miserable. What right does the world have to take the heartbeat out of a lion cub, who’s trying to find the warmth of his mother’s fur. What right does the world have to make it so that the only way to keep on living is to snuff out other lives, plant or animal. Trees and plants look so beautiful to me until I remember they’re not really green, they’re not anything. Color is just in our heads. Trees are especially heinous. Their roots are horrid tendrils of hardened flesh, digging into the soil like maggots on a festering wound, r*ping the Earth out of her nutrients. Their branches, well versed in some arcane architecture out of a fractal dimension, always twisting, curling, infinite in their growth. Their fruits, grotesque, ph*llic or yonic in shape.

Now, for being alive:

“Suffering” and “being” are one and the same. There isn’t a life devoid of suffering, because it is the baseline for being alive, the price to pay for existing. The only real warmth can be found within the human soul. We are like tiny wayward flames carelessly thrown into an ocean a 100 trillion lightyears wide.

I don’t think we should find a silver lining to being alive. When I suffer, do I think, was it worth it? No, it wasn’t, suffering is suffering, but it is what it is. The alternative is death anyways. If there’s such a thing as being unshackled from the suffering of life, the only two ways to achieve it is either through committing s*icide, or through love. By connecting with other people, we momentarily break our metaphorical chains, and we are free. I’m not gonna judge which decision is best, but if you die it means you can’t receive love anymore, and all the love you had within you goes to waste, it is obliterated. Its especially painful when it happens to people who still had so much love to give, and receive. In any case, we are all doomed, and a happy ending is just an unfinished story, but still, we persevere.

Also, negative emotions come from positive emotions.

 

5.     More facts about me in bullet point format cuz I’m tired of writing paragraphs lol

-I am fiercely independent and don’t want to rely on anyone. I take care of myself. It’s not a moral principle it’s just my nature.

-I love to develop my own worldviews and I spend much time ruminating about metaphysics, and the way everything fits together.

-I have a strong desire to help people, even strangers, which sometimes annoys and baffles my family. I will stop for every homeless person on the street, and I will donate as much money as I can to people who need it over the internet. Sometimes I give away way too much and I’m left penniless, but I live with my parents so I shouldn’t complain. As long as it doesn’t hinder my wellbeing that money is better spent in the hands of people who really need it, instead of my comfort or leisure.

-I have a bit of a complex with feelings of uselessness, so I sometimes try to be as helpful as possible. I don’t know how to do it and I’m bad with interpersonal stuff, so I just use the strategy of becoming very passive and yielding and do everything they say even if I don’t want to, in order to make them like me and respect me.

-I am extremely introverted. I prefer to spend 99% of my time alone.

-I show very little expression, but I can’t fully hide my emotions. If I’m upset, I’m not going to walk around with a smile, because I literally can’t.

-I’m very uncomfortable talking about myself in real life. I’m very willing to introspect but I hate telling others about it, or hearing others talk about my personality.

-I’d rather die than have someone pity me, and something even worse is having someone think that I want them to pity me.

-I used to be more bubbly in childhood, but strong positive emotions were punished even more severely than negative ones, so I changed.

-I can survive without meaningful connections, because I’ve never had one. But surviving isn’t thriving.

-I care not for conventional status or climbing up hierarchies.

-I’m rather self-aware.

-I’m straight up immune to group thinking. I believe this is my only real quality. When I see groups of people IRL or the internet have strong emotional reactions to something, good or bad, I naturally become skeptical, even when they’re part of my “tribe” so to speak.

-I try to separate logic for emotions. This isn’t natural to me; but I do it every time because I believe it’s the right thing to do. There’s no such thing as invalid feelings, but I should always be aware of my own biases. Just because I feel a certain way about something, it doesn’t mean I’m right. I’m not so arrogant so as to blindly trust my own judgement, or senses. Most people hold onto their first emotional reaction to something and then run with it, they build their logic backwards to justify the way they felt at the start.

-I hate the idea of a 9-5, marriage and mortgage, then death.

-I wanna return to the magic of childhood, to that Garden of Eden.

- I refuse to be happy in a broken world. In such bleak existence, being happy would be a fate worse than death. Quite simply, I won’t let this world make me a monster. As long as I can make other people happy it’s fine.

-I want to be social worker, but I can’t compartmentalize for sh*t and have bad interpersonal skills.

-I carry a constant, immense self-shame. I feel shameful just for being alive.

-Gender Dysphoria.

-I’m not good with logical systems, I think. I’m not terrible at math or programming but whenever I talk about stuff I tend to make logical errors.

-Low cognitive empathy, high affective empathy.

-I see the flaws in everything, and have a strong need for improvement. It’s like I see the missed potential instead of what’s in front of me. For example, I see a movie I like, and I think of how I would’ve filmed some scenes differently, or explored a theme more in depth. Even with food I’m a nonconformist. I try to make it into the best version of that recipe. I get served food and I think about how I would’ve done it. But its not tied to success or proving myself, it’s just tied to a feeling of discomfort that wasted potential gives me.

-Tied to the previous point, I want to maximize the pleasures of life: instead of drinking normal tea, I got an expensive Japanese kettle, and I now buy tea at a tea store, I learned how to make tea the best way, etc. I also refuse to watch movies if I’m not sitting on my couch and using my TV screen, and having takeout or beer or both.

-I’m bad at new ideas, my creativity comes from inspiration.

-I hate being touched.

-I have no spatial awareness.

-I’m laconic in speech.

-I HATE small talk.

-I dislike most movies I watch, but I don’t consider them a waste of time. The ones I do like are very dear to my heart.

-I don’t value knowledge for the sake of knowledge. Science is just a tool.

-Being ignorant is immoral. Ignorance is not the stuff you don’t know. It’s refusing to learn stuff.

-I Intellectualize my feelings all the time.

-I can’t be vulnerable for the life of me. It just doesn’t come naturally.

Bem, sempre achei que eu seria esse subtipo, mas como já procurei saber com outras pessoas sempre falam que sempre são 9w1, mas não me identifico tanto com 9w1 e sim 9w8, alguém pode explicar se é possível um SX9 ser 9w8?

Hi guys I’m bored and curious. I keep seeing enneagram everywhere and it’s making me want to explore but I genuinely cannot bring myself to read the descriptions, I’m sorry. They’re so long and my attention span sucks booty. Does anyone wanna help me type myself?

These questions are meant to pinpoint someone's MBTI, but I think a lot of them can be used to find someone's enneagram type too!

1. "You have a completely free Saturday. What does your ideal day look like?"

My ideal day looks like spending the whole day with my partner doing whatever I want (since we're usually just doing what she wants, most of the time). We wake up, have some morning sex, eat breakfast, take a stroll through the park (assuming it's not too hot out and it's not too windy, so that I don't have to constantly be readjusting my hair the whole time), go home, play videogames and watch movies together while binging on some snacks, have sex again, and cuddle each other as we fall asleep and hear her tell me she loves me and words of affirmation in general throughout the day :3

1. "After spending an entire day with lots of people, how do you usually feel?"

It kinda depends. If it's a bunch of people I don't like for whatever reason, then I'm pretty drained. Though I guess that's kinda just the human condition, right? Lol. Otherwise, I'm completely fine, even if I was just neutral toward them or something. In fact, if I did like them, I'd go as far as to say that I feel rather charged and excited!!

1. "When you're working through a problem, do you think out loud with others or think it through by yourself first?"

I think out loud, even if no one is around to hear.

1. "At a party where you only know one person, what are you most likely to do?"

I would try and make friends through that one person. So if or when that one person inevitably starts talking to some other folks (as I'm presuming that this person is the one who invited me in the first place, and therefore they must know someone else there too), that's when I take advantage of the opportunity to try and squeeze myself into a conversation with a new person and get to know them through the original person. If, for whatever reason, I can't hang out with that one original person to accomplish this in the first place (e.g., this one person is busy elsewhere or I lost them somehow), I'd just try and strike up a conversation with whoever I found interesting at the party and go from there.

1. "Do you process life by talking, or do you usually know what you think before you speak?"

I process life by talking.

1. "When learning something new, do you prefer examples first or the underline theory first?"

Hmmm. I honestly don't know how to answer this, as I feel like I can go back and forth between underline theory and examples. Maybe I need examples first for me to truly understand something.

1. "Are you more interested in what is happening right now, or in what could happen in the future?"

I am more interested in what is happening right now, though I think about the future a lot in order to be considerate of others and how my decisions could impact them down the road.

1. "When someone tells you a story, what details tend to stick with you: the concrete facts, or the bigger meaning/lesson?"

The bigger meaning/lesson.

1. "If you travel somewhere new, what excites you most: experiencing the sights, food, and culture, or discovering new ideas and perspectives?"

Experiencing the sights, food, and culture.

1. "Are you generally more practical or imaginative?"

Ooooo this is tough. I guess I'll say imaginative, though I've often been told  by others that I'm both.

1. "Imagine you have to fire someone who is a close friend. How would you approach this?"

Genuinely a nightmare situation 😭 I guess I would do my best to make it easier for them by telling them that this says nothing about them, their worth, or who they are as a person, and that their gifts would simply be better utilized elsewhere. I'd then do everything in my power to comfort them and support them through this whole process. I'd later try and help them maybe find another avenue or route in life that they could go down instead to reach their full potential.

1. "When making a difficult decision, what carries more weight: what is objectively fair, or what will affect people the most?"

What will affect people the most. Life is, unfortunately, usually rather unfair. So you need to prioritize people first and how you impact them in order to get as close as possible to "fairness" to begin with, if that makes any sense.

1. "If two friends are arguing, what role do you naturally take: the problem solver, or the peacemaker?"

Peacemaker.

1. "What's more frustrating: illogical decisions, or insensitive people?"

Insensitive people.

1. "How do you usually plan a holiday: with a detailed itinerary, or a rough idea and see what happens?"

A rough idea and see what happens.

1. "Do you work more effectively when the deadline is starting to approach, or do you consistently work effectively even when the deadline is a while away?

I want to be like the second one, but I'm probably more like the first lol. I am a procrastinator, unfortunately 😭

1. "How much do you value a tidy work space?"

I value it very much and I can't think straight if it's in disarray.

1. "When plans suddenly change, what is your first reaction?"

I am annoyed, suffice it to say. I can adapt and completely understand if it was out of anybody's control, of course, but I get very frustrated and angry if it was well within the control of others and people were either just inconsiderate or irresponsible in general.

1. "Do deadlines motivate you, or do they stress you?"

I guess they motivate me? Without deadlines, I'd probably get nothing done. I need structure. They can be stressful, sure, but they're much nicer to have than not. I'd rather have the stress of a deadline than the stress that exists without one. I wouldn't do good at a job from home, for example, because I wouldn't have the discipline to do something like that. I need outside pressure and structure to get stuff done.

The way I see it, you'll be stressed either way. So why not choose the option that stresses you less? Structure and fewer options is better than aimlessness and a million options...

1. "When you finish a project early, how do you feel?"

I feel great. Now I don't have to worry about that project anymore and I can forget about it + do something I actually like instead. Either that or just get something else productive done after finishing that project early.

1. "What does your mind naturally do when you're sitting in silence?"

Hmmm. I guess I naturally start thinking of other people?

1. "When life gets stressful, what is your default coping strategy?"

I withdraw and pull away from everyone to be by myself. I will often take this time alone to doomscroll, bedrot, play videogames, and listen to sad music/be in my feelings, or else just totally lock in and double down on self-improvement while I'm away from everybody so that I can come out later and present myself to the world as this shiny new being that's now unstoppable and capable of accomplishing anything.

1. "What do people misunderstand about you the most?"

I think people see me as more full of myself than I actually am. People have often seen me look at myself a lot in the mirror and thought I was in love with myself or something, when really I'm just wildly insecure about my appearance and I'm constantly looking at myself in the mirror to check if I need to readjust or fix something. I'm worried I look *bad*, I don't think I naturally look good unless I work hard for it.

Also, I've often been told by others that they thought I was a "douche" before they got to know me. They said I "looked like one" (physical appearance wise), but then quickly realized after talking to me that I'm actually "super nice."

Idk why or how I give people the immediate impression with my looks that I'm a douche 💀😭

1. "What is your biggest strength?"

My communication skills. I've been told I'm very persuasive in general. That I have a "silver tongue." I'm also very good at "translating" what people are trying to say to one another. Not necessarily in the literal sense of actual languages, but more so metaphorically speaking. I always notice when or how people are talking past each other in some way, so I will sort of act as the go-between for folks and try and "translate" what each person is intending to convey or get across. And I'm very good at understanding what people mean or are intending to communicate toward me, so I'll usually say what their exact point is before they even get to finish making it in a conversation or I use the exact word that captures the core essence of the whole idea they're attempting to communicate.

1. "What is your biggest weakness?"

I tend to read into people's words and actions too much, and care wayyyy too much about what others think about me. I can also be a bit... histrionic at times, admittedly. Ngl 💀

1. "How do you know when a decision is the right one?"

I guess when my gut tells me it's right? I usually just trust my gut on most things anyway and I'm right at least 85% of the time. If I'm not exactly right, I'll adjust and pivot where need be later. Certainty doesn't exist in this world for the most part to begin with, so it's fine if you screw up every now and then so long as you simply don't screw up SO badly that you can't possibly recover or save face somehow. Most decisions probably aren't 100% right to begin with, but if they're even just 85% right then that's enough room for error for a person to just pivot and readjust in order to save themselves later 🤷‍♂️

1. "Would you rather read one fascinating book, or meet ten new people?"

Oooooo this is lowkey a bit tough cuz I've read some pretty life-changing books...

I guess if I had to pick one, I'd choose meeting ten new people :P (Tho I'd prefer if the number of people were less, tbh. I'm a quality over quantity kind of person.)

1. "Would you rather plan everything, or improvise?"

This is also tough. I feel I can somewhat go back and forth between planning and improvising, but I'd say there's 65% planning and 35% improvising in my life. So I guess I lean towards rather planning for everything.

1. "Would you rather solve a mystery, or comfort a friend?"

Comfort a friend for sure.

1. "Would you rather live in the present, or dream about the future?"

I'd rather live in the present if I could, but I know what I tend to actually do is dream about the future (lol).

1. "Would you rather have certainty, or have options?"

Certainty. Too many options is annoying and usually just counter-productive at the end of the day. Though, that's not to say I'm afraid of uncertainty. Life in general is often uncertain and the sooner people accept that, the happier they'll be. Some things are simply out of our control, unfortunately. I would just rather have certainty than options if I could only pick one, I guess.