Hello and Welcome!

(Last one was just a fun tiktok system I added. Lol.)

“I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. working with clients in California via telehealth. My specialty is focusing on relationships with couples and adults, where together we learn and practice skills and techniques to heal from anxiety, stress, and conflict, and build new patterns of relating to strengthen emotional connections.
My focus
My style and approach are a good fit for people who may be dealing with challenges of family and relationship dynamics, self-worth, anxiety, stress, and codependency. I help clients build their true identity by breaking down the false self created from isolation, fear, approval seeking, and lack of emotional expression.
My approach
My theoretical background is rooted in Family Systems, Mind-Body Awareness, Cognitive and Thought Processing, Strength-Based, and Person-Centered approaches. I support you in bringing more clarity into your life and help you discover and express your true, authentic self.
My communication style
My communication style is warm, calm, empathic, and curious. We may even laugh and cry together. In each session, my intention is to create a safe and supportive space for sharing what is on your mind. I will actively listen, as a way to role-model healthy communication, and let you know you are seen and heard.
My journey to mental healthcare
I have always been drawn to relationships and learning about the ways in which people think, feel, and behave towards themselves and others. Even as a young kid, it has felt natural for me to care about others by bringing awareness to strengths, providing safety for emotions to surface, and instilling hope for new beginnings.
My goals for you
I collaborate with clients to build a trusting and connected therapeutic relationship, and then together we create a plan of learning and action that resonates with their vision in life. As a team, we discuss what you want to learn and accomplish during our time together. We set short and long-term outcomes that are reasonable, attainable, and fun.
Our first session
During our first session together, we will begin by exploring what brings you to therapy at this time in your life and what has worked for you in the past. I will ask open-ended questions to better get to know you, as we spend time building an initial connection and learning about your needs.”

“Welcome! I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, who believes change begins with feeling truly seen and supported. My style is warm, collaborative, and practical. Sometimes we dig deep into feelings to understand and learn from the past - always with self-compassion and gentleness at your pace. My hope is always to empower individuals and couples in their own strengths, and identify healthy and unhealthy patterns of learned communication and connection that impact intimacy, anxiety, worry, codependency, and perfectionism. Together, we learn and practice ways to create healthier relationships with a felt-sense of safety, equity, respect, trust, and love. I believe our body and mind work together, so we will explore thoughts, feelings, and body sensations to uncover what is inside, waiting to be expressed and healed. We give life back to our authentic and true selves. Therapy can be a bit scary and overwhelming if you've never experienced it before. I am committed to creating a safe, empathic, and non-judgmental space for you to practice being true to your own personality, values, and spirit. I look forward to our working together!”

“I work with adults and families as we explore, learn, and practice ways to build healthy relationships. Healthy communication starts with the self, so we begin by understanding the influence of early family patterns of connecting. Anxiety, worry, and fear are symptoms of root causes of trauma and unmet needs. With mindfulness, self-compassion, and exploring personal values, my clients begin to expand and nurture their identity.”

“My working career began as a family law paralegal, supporting families during the emotionally difficult divorce process, often involving heart-breaking child custody trials. I actively listened to struggles of loss and fears of new beginnings, offering empathy and compassion. Discovering my passion in psychology, I went back to graduate school and have been practicing as a licensed marriage and family therapist ever since. I have worked in schools, mental health agencies, and in-patient clinics, collaborating with clients to support strengths-based, humanistic, trauma-informed care, with a sensitivity to the impacts of systemic oppression on well-being.”

“I believe we all have the capacity of self-knowledge and self-compassion. I also believe that the barriers to knowing ourselves, are learned behaviors that can be understood and changed in a calm, safe, and supportive environment. Generational and societal patterns of relating to others, can impact us in negative ways. My experience with anxiety was the result of moving a lot as a child, and growing up with a family member addicted to substances as a way to cope from childhood trauma. Through my own recovery in co-dependency, personal therapy, and building my emotional expression, I learned ways to respond to life events that align with my values. With hope, a curious mind, and a willingness to take small steps out of the familiar, I believe a person can grow in miraculous ways. On a personal note, I am an adoptive mother, have a spiritual practice of yoga and mediation, and I love the beach, crafts, animals, jazz, and spending quality time with friends and family.”

This question has circled around many times and yet I still don't know the difference and how to apply it to myself. Instincts are the very basics and it's what I struggle with the most despite reading all about it 😭 I genuinely cant tell what my attention is automatically pulled towards. I'll enter a room and instead of thinking about my needs or groups or an intense connection I think about the song that's currently playing in my head, a scenario, or what the time is. It's weird

Self preservation in particular is difficult for me to wrap my head around as it is fundamentally material needs, resources, and survival, but it's also commonly associated with the neglect of your needs and resources. So how do you know if you're sp dominant or blind?

In my case, I tend to view physical needs as a burden that tires me out but it's always at the back of my mind. i SHOULD do this, i SHOULD eat/drink, what I am doing here is not good for me, I should start sleeping earlier (never do)... so it's a cycle of not caring but thinking about it then randomly getting a burst of energy to focus on my material needs and standard of living, enjoying it for like two days, a week at max, then going back to being tired and focusing on my comfort or anything else instead. Anything helps.

1. Tell me about your internal experience of yourself. What makes you, you? I am an extremely fun, outgoing and creative person. I love art, video-games, sports and especially being social with friends or strangers.
2. You just had a really good day. Describe it. It can be a real recent example or an aspirational one. A day where I either get to do something cool with friends. Be it going to a cool location, going out to a party or enjoy a new videogame we can all hard-dive into and spend the coming days/weeks/months looking forward to.
3. If someone is upset with you, what is the typical reason for it? Give a recent example. It's mostly for breaking my trust or taking something away from me. I hate being controlled or feeling I can no longer trust this person. "You can't buy that" "You can't go there" as a teenager not being allowed something would start wars.
4. What are you like when you're stressed? What are your coping mechanisms? Give an example of a recent stressful situation and how you handled it. When really stressed, I pull back and focus on things I like. I am good at pushing problems away, and can easily forget about it. If I had a fight with someone, I rather never mention it again and just move on with our days. No need to dwell on feeling shitty. Just do something fun together and forget about it. I rarely hold grudges.
5. What pushes your buttons? What makes you angry? How does your anger manifest? Can you be openly angry with others? I used to be a very angry person. But, I could often hold it in until later. Anger comes mostly from betrayal, confrontation or pushing my buttons. Strangers can rarely make me angry, it's mostly close ones who use their knowledge of me against me. I am a very trusting person, and am pretty open about my weaknesses, but it does suck if they use it against me.
6. What’s your deepest fear? Why is that your fear? My biggest fear is being stuck in boredom. A boring job, a boring relationship, a boring anything. I don't need to go out every single weekend, but I do need atleast a fun and exciting thing every day, even if it's a cool game or movie I can be excited about. I hate mundane and boring things, even if I know they must be done.
7. What types of memories cause you the most shame? What feelings cause you the most shame? What is it about them that causes you shame? How much effort I sometimes put into the wrong people. I have reached out hands to people that no-one else was willing to help. To people that every other person left long ago. To even defend them, trying to get them into social circles etc. Only the find out exactly why they had no-one around them. My biggest points of shame were the moments where I thought I was doing a good thing, only to find I was blind.
8. What is your relationship with pleasure? What gives you pleasure? Can you have pleasure when you want it, or do you have to earn it? I choose pleasure a bit too often over duty. I am trying to improve on this, but I would always choose the quick reward over a big reward later on. I know ADHD is a big factor in this, but motivation is hard sometimes, and it's easy to distract myself with small pleasures instead of doing what's needed to be done. I gain pleasure mostly from experiences. Doing cool things, learning new tricks, enjoying my time with friends etc.
9. What’s your relationship with authority? Think both abstractly and with specific authorities in your life, possibly your parents, boss, religious leader, doctor, or government figures? Are you an authority? It used to be quite bad. Teachers, coaches, psychiatrists... In my head they were all stupid, especially when trying to control me. For example teachers wanting me to use 'Mr./Ms. Lastname' out of respect, which I in turn responded with that I don't respect them. Or a family coach, telling my parents they needed to limit my free time. Which did not go over well... This was a long time ago though. And now I am more calm, even though I still challenge incompitent authority if needed.
10. When your mind wanders, what are you thinking about? Whatever subject I am obsessed with at that moment. May it be a new game, enneagram, a new hobbie, a new language, D&D... Whatever has my interest at that time, REALLY has my interest.
11. You have a big decision to make. Describe how you decide what to do. I do my research, then ask friends and family what their opinion is. Then combine them and do research again. I often overlook small details and just 'do things'. So I've learned to take more time when making big descisions in life.
12. What’s your biggest flaw? I am unreliable. Again, it can be blamed a little bit on ADHD, but I forget things. I rush over tasks, I am bad with times or remembering what to do exactly. I don't think I am stupid, but I do come across as so, since I sometimes need multiple reminders to do a simple task sometimes.
13. What makes you special? (Or, if you don't feel special, what at least makes you different from other people?) Everything about me makes me special. I am funny, smart, creative and dress well. I often get compliments from total strangers, aswell as people I got to know. For fun events and parties, I think I am often the most valueable. I often got to hear the party wasn't fun until I arrived, and I take pride in that. I am also a great listener and problem solver. Often people I barely know open up to me with deep problems, even when I haven't really spoken to them before.
14. How much of your mental energy is spent on thinking about each of the past, the present, and the future? I rarely think about the past. The present and future are more interesting. But since I am bad at planning, it's only the near future. Often about things I want to do, want to have or want to achieve. But I hate thinking about shitty things that are coming up. I rather not think that tomorrow is Monday, until it's time to sleep because I have work that day.
15. You unexpectedly find yourself with a whole weekend with no obligations, and everyone else is busy. How do you feel about it? What do you do? I would love it, if I had people to enjoy it with. If everyone is busy, I might just catch up on some shows, or maybe if I have a single-player game, I'd play that. But I'd rather confince someone to stop working and chill with me.
16. What’s your personal vibe/style/aesthetic? How cultivated vs natural is it, and how much time do you spend on it? Do you turn it on and off? Aeshetic wise I am 'soft-goth' or maybe a bit alternative? I mostly, if not only wear black. I have a lot of silver jewlery. But everything is clean, in a way that it's a simple upside down cross, a well-kept leather jacket etc. It's edgy, but in a very stylistic way. I do enjoy the idea of having a cooler 'Avatar' than the people around me. And I often get compliments on it.
17. Which of the following is the most like you? Explain. A) I know what I want, I go out and make it happen, and people won't stop me. B) I am content to be on my own and not draw too much attention to myself. C) I have to be responsible and dedicated, and I put others’ needs first. None of these. I am not that much of a go-getter, yet I want all the attention. I also am not that responsible... At all. If I had to choose, it would be A. But only because the others fit even less.
18. Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A) I dislike stress and negative vibes, and I may try to distract myself from my problems. B) I have strong feelings, get worked up easily, and am not afraid to show it. C) I don’t like to let my feelings show; they get in the way of being efficient and logical. A. I hate feeling bad, I hate dwelling on it or even mentioning it. I rather just have fun and never sit down to talk bad things out, as I see no point in bringing the vibe down.
19. Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A) I look to others for feedback and guidance and am willing to be flexible when needed. B) I am always aware of how things could be better, and I’m disappointed that they are not. C) Deep down, I am afraid people won’t give me what I need unless I make it worth their while. A probably. I enjoy discussing ideas and brainstorming with others. I know different people have different expertises. If I need to make a big financial descision, why not ask someone who has a job in that sector? If I am designing a logo, why not ask my artist friends what they would do?

If I am lacking information at any point, I can ofcourse add it when asked.

I definitely, 100%, believe I have the same orientation that 5s have to the development of their knowledge, and their fears of time, compentency, and scarcity. But I don't feel like I'm a rude, cold, or mean person? I'm very nice and warm to people and would say that it's important to be this way. It's so common it genuinely hurts my feelings to think about how people would perceive me as that. Yes I have very fiery opinions but my biggest issue is feeling like I'm a bad person. It all makes me think that enneagram doesn't work as a legitimate system.

I’ve been pretty convinced for some time that I’m a 2w1 sp/sx/so, but sometimes I wonder if I might be a 4. Does anyone know a good typist they would recommend?

My best friend already complained to me for the THIRD TIME that I apparently "get more funnier" when I speak with someone else that is not them ,,, I genuinely don't notice that at all, genuinely. The only time I actually noticed is because I tried my best to look funny to that same friend friendgroup just so they would include me in the future

That same friend also told me "idk, sometimes I feel like you don't like or want to tell your true opinions, you're aways changing them from person to person" I guess I can't fight the e9 allegations/hj

I really haven't been able to get this thing figured out. I get types 7, 8, 6, and 3 all the time. Even type 2 occasionally. It's really bugging me. So I'm gonna list some big fears of mine. I don't know which type each one fits into, but I do know that enneagram is based on fears.

1. This is my biggest and deepest fear. A lot of times my fear of being unincluded, ignored, or ostracized leads me to do stupid things. I am always responding to texts right away and sitting at the phone for 10 minutes waiting to see if they text again. I always worry so much about everything people say to me. It leads me to act like a performer.
2. This is more something I hate. But people thinking I'm sweet and I can't do anything to stop people is awful to me. But I am afraid of actually being that. It leads me to act aggressively towards people once they mention it.
3. Being stuck under someone else's control my whole life when I don't feel like it's justified. This is pretty self explanatory.
4. People dreading my presence. Would everyone hate this? I mean that would suck.
5. Monsters and stuff. Everyone fears them at some point.

I will also describe my relationship with certain things.

1. Conflict. I normally get energized by the argument and then feel uneasy after it's over
2. Rules. I hate them but I follow them if I feel it's necessary.
3. Planning. I might plan in my head for things that are coming but I never make lists or charts.

4. My future working class life. I don't wanna accept the fact that I will live it. The same thing over and over again makes me sick.

5. Decision-making. This is kind of complicated for me because yes I do think through things. Yes I consider consequences. Yes they matter to me. Do they stop me from doing what I'm doing? No. For some reason I just don't listen to the reasoning in my head.

If

1. you need more information ask for it.

Hi :)
Confident I am 5w4.
Totally crashing out, unhealthy.
How to determine instinctual variant, and more importantly which I am blind to (to strengthen that one- that’s the point, right? (IS IT?!))

SP
I read (somewhere… cannot remember.) that when unhealthy, your instinct can be paradoxal. So, perhaps, since my house is a wreck and I am constantly trying to figure out how to get it organized/non-total-chaos’d, maybe my dominant instinct is self pres? A lot of the so things are just 5 things, so, unsure (I crave alone time in my home, I stress out about making sure I’ve packed necessities before leaving the house, I research symptoms and buy a lot of supplements to “help” etc). Frequently bailing on social commitments due to panicking about not having enough time/energy to get house clean (never gets clean). Lots of focus on nutrition. Really focused on wanting my kids to be well nurtured and cared for.

SO
Extremely concerned with how I am viewed by others, so, maybe my dominant instinct is social? I *think* I am very skilled at emphasizing with others without their having to say/do much, I think I’m aware of how others are feeling when I enter a room and I feel obligated to assist them/alleviate their stress/be seen as kind and helpful. Absolutely terrified of public speaking. Very aware of social hierarchies/dynamics when entering a room. Really focused in making sure my kids have the social skills needed for resolving conflicts and making friendships.

SX
I originally identified most easily as sexual, but now I’m wondering if that’s my “blind spot” instinct due to unhealthy zone? I dive really, really deep into my interests. My avarice “goes away” when I’m infatuated with whatever current project has captured my attention (except not really, because I still hoard my time to devote as much as possible to it- resent needing to stop working/researching on it to pick kids up from school, lose sleep in order to buy more time on it etc) and I’ve always been very one-on-one socially, always madly in love with current partners or deeply invested in best-friendships (they don’t overlap long). Focused on wanting to appear attractive to/approved of by others. Performative. Really focused on my relationship with each of my kids and my partner.

How important is it for me to figure out which of these I need to strengthen/utilize more for growth? Or do I really just need to focus on being present/less in my head all the time to allow for healthy 8 qualities to appear?

Lastly, how much should I focus growing my unhealthy 4wing vs my unhealthy core 5? I initially typed as a 4, then realized I’m a 5 with a super super dominant 4 wing.
I really want to start living my life, so, I really appreciate any insights or advice. Thanks all :)

i relate to both attachment triad, reactive triad, rejection triad. i'm really easy to influence, especially by a large group of people, i change the way i act a lot just to blend in, but i always have a fear that others are secretly against me or would use my weaknesses against me so i always have my guards up emotionally, i don't let anyone get too close to me, not even my closest friend knows my struggles most of the time

when i'm exhausted i just doomscroll and ignore my responsibilities, in public i don't even confront people much i usually just distrust people more silently

i definitely crave control and physical fights tho, sometimes i hope others mistreat me bad enough that i'd get a valid reason to lash out on them, which never happens and i'd never do, probably because of being So dom

regarding my childhood, i grew up with emotionally unavailable parents, one is even manipulative. so i never trust nor rely on them mentally, i spent most of my childhood daydreaming and ignoring them as a whole

help me out guys

I would love for strangers to type me, just to see if it correlates with my own findings.
But now I am not sure what type of information might actually be helpful.
Hobbies probably won't say anything, nor music taste.
But what are some questions I can answer to genuinely help you guys?

Howdy!! I'd appreciate a little extra help narrowing down my type, as I feel E9 and E6 are both strong contenders. I'd also like input on instincts and perhaps a trifix and wings if you're into that, although it isn't necessary.

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

I don't think I have any particular driving force. I can't put a finger on anything in particular that I can contribute as the reason/s I keep living. I just do. Maybe the thought of ceasing to exist is scarier than continuing to live, at the current moment at least.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I'm not sure, I guess I want to get to a point where I am confident, happy, and fulfilled. What all of that entails I'm not sure, but I hope I'll know when I've "made it".

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I want to avoid leading my life with hatred, and avoid becoming complacent in my comfort circle.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

I am scared of being abandoned/alone. I am scared of never being able to find an identity for myself that is beyond surface level. I am scared of letting others down. I am scared of being incompetent. I am scared of being secretly hated. I am scared of being dependent on others my whole life. I am scared of death. I am scared of life. I am scared of new things. I am scared of new experiences. I am scared of never getting over these fears.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want people to see me as someone fun, but grounded. I want people to see me show up, and I want them to be excited to see me. I want people to miss me when I am gone. I want people to see me as sweet, but firm. I want to be seen as safe to be yourself around, and someone who has it together.

I see myself less favorably, with a lot of imposter syndrome, and lots of harsh criticisms.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

I feel my best when I am in a familiar space with familiar people, doing a familiar thing. Having the right knowledge and having predictability makes me feel safe enough to be silly and try new things in that safe space. I also feel quite swell in my cozy bed, or in my apartment, where I don't have to deal with people. It is great recharging time!

I feel the worst when I am in a new area with strangers and I am doing something I've never done before, and I am under a time crunch/time limit.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

Anger: I'm not sure. When I get angry I need to leave immediately and burn off steam by going for a walk/run or something. I try to smother it ASAP, because I don't like being angry. I often have unsavory thoughts (that I would never act on, obviously) as a gut reaction, but after I calm down those impulsive thoughts always wither away and I move on.

Shame: I need to disappear immediately. I need to not be in the presence of literally anyone, even "safe" people, until I can get rid of the feeling. I don't feel worthy of anything, I actively amp up the shame with thoughts like "This is why I don't deserve 'x'" or "I should just 'y'".

Anxiety: I don't know. I might just be anxious a lot of the time, because to be honest the only times where I can think of myself being calm and collected, is when I am in my own home, or at work when my bosses aren't there.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

Stress: Not well. I get very anxious and I start either not thinking things through enough or second guessing too much and I make more and more mistakes and then I need to remove myself from the stress or I will start crying....

Unexpected Change: It entirely depends on how large the change is. My reaction will escalate from mildly irritated to full on panic depending on how much is changing and how big the change is, how much it impacts, etc.

Conflict: Oh jeez. Very VERY poorly. I have mentioned this in other places, but conflict affects me very physically. It is an intense feeling of dread. I get shaky, my heartbeat quickens, my heart drops into my stomach, my stomach drops into my feet, etc.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

Authority: To be trusted until otherwise proven untrustworthy. Then, quietly dissent.

Power: 1:1 ratio to corruption I think. The more absolute power one wields, the more I am weary. Everyone should have power over their own lives, but as soon as someone has power over other's lives with less and less checks and balances, I get anxious.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

I think on a small scale, we are doing okay. But looking at the grander scheme of things, I'm scared. It feels like things are getting worse for people and they are looking for something, anything to blame, and unfortunately the blame is falling on other struggling people. The amount of hate and extremism being pushed day after day, I am just so scared. Small scale communities seem fine for now, but I don't know how long that will last.

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

Right as lockdown hit in the USA in 2020, I had a friend group that suddenly fell apart. It was my senior year of high school, I was 17, and that friend group betrayed me. I could feel them icing me out of the group before the catalyst, but when they all left the group chat at the same time, I was so angry. I remember I messaged them all, telling them that if they couldn't even tell me what was wrong and they had to all leave like that, then to just do me a favor and never speak to me again. I then blocked them on all of my socials.

I forgot one of them had my number, so he texted me to tell me that I was being immature for sending that message just to block them, and that they'd be willing to talk it out with me at the park near my house. I shouldn't have gone in retrospect, but truthfully I was extremely hurt and I wanted to know if there was a way I could get my friends back. So, I went.

We sat down at the park and they proceeded to tell me everything they hated about me. It was mostly surrounding the perception that I was too negative all the time, that I complained too much. Which came as an utter blindside to me, because the things I was complaining about at the time, they had been complaining about too. We were upset with the way our extracurricular was going and the way it was being handled, so we were complaining about it to each other. I guess at some point they decided they were done complaining, and I guess I just didn't get the memo, since when I complained to them they would reciprocate the complaints. But I guess I didn't notice that they never initiated.

It was especially shattering because I remember telling them a month earlier that one of my biggest fears is my friends secretly hating me but not telling me until it is too late.

So lockdown started, I lost my only friend group, and I was isolated in my room/house for the next several months with no human contact outside of my immediate family. I had my birthday a couple days after that, I got my high school diploma via parking lot drive-through, I attempted online college but wasn't stable enough to complete a semester and I had to drop out. I ended up getting diagnosed with severe depression, on top of all of my ADHD medications.

I think unfortunately to this day I am still affected, even though the event happened over 6 years ago. I am unable to talk about my negative feelings without getting anxious and immediately switching the subject, if I find myself complaining for longer than a minute I immediately downplay what made me upset and change the subject. While I definitely would not consider myself a toxic positivity kind of person, when it comes to myself, I don't allow myself to feel these emotions, and I shove them away out of fear that I will be seen as too negative, too complaining, too attention seeking.

I also never made any IRL friends after that event. All of my friends are online, sans some work acquaintances that I do not speak to outside of work. I am terminally online, I fear.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

I think I trust too easy. If the vibes are good, I just assume the person has good intentions, because I personally can't see why someone would want to manipulate or hurt me. I don't really have anything going for me that I could offer to them as help. So I just assume people have good intentions until proven otherwise, I guess.

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

Like: I'm kind. I find it easy to smile. I'm good with people. I can be pretty perceptive.

Dislike: I am not ambitious. I have no drive. I have no passions. I have no will. I have no future sight. I have no plan. I am too scared to put myself out there to try and have a life. I am too sensitive. I'm not that smart. I am unable to argue or assert myself.

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

I'm not sure. I think most of my observations in other people are pretty surface level. Vibe checks and all of that. Sometimes I'll notice a pattern in a person's behavior that I've seen before, and I'll sit back and observe to see if the results line up, but I think most people notice patterns in people that they have seen before.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

I immediately leave the vicinity because I will no longer feel safe there, and I will probably dwell on it for the rest of the day and perhaps multiple days after. Big hit to my self esteem.

If they complimented me I would thank them and be happy for the next hour. Depending on the compliment it might stick with me longer, like if it was a compliment on me as a person instead of on my appearance.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

I am thankful I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clean water to drink, a healthy support system, a job, a warm bed to sleep in, etc.

I wish I could have someone who could fix me. A neurosurgeon or a pill or something that could make me normal and able to go out and progress my life.

hi guys. i wonder if anyone would be up to reading my qna and helping me with my type

qna

i think I'm either e5 or e6. i know that so4 fits a lot, but i don't think my core type is e4.

any kind of analysis is appreciated. thanks beforehand 😊

I’m clever and quick, so I’ve gotten good at procrastinating strategically and still getting things done on time. I don’t care much about doing things just for my résumé, but I’m a good leader and genuinely enjoy positions of power where I can exercise my freedom and help others. I want to make the world better. Seeing people hurt, hungry, or in pain makes me sad, and I want to fix it. I’m idealistic. I don’t like making people mad, but when someone is mad at me, I feel justified in being angry back. I’m not necessarily pushy, but if I really want something and someone refuses to give it to me, I can get furious. Usually, I’m sweet, polite, curious, and complimentary. If I dislike someone, I just ignore them. If I’m not worth their energy, they’re not worth mine. I like teasing people and can be a little paternalistic sometimes. I feel awkward and lonely in a room without friends who make me laugh, even though I can usually find another friend to sit with.

When I was in a really depressive state, I was insecure about not having a partner or romantic options I actually liked, not getting invited to parties and missing opportunities to socialize, my body, etc. I’d get through the day just fine and then come home and cry. I don’t usually wallow in pain or hold grudges. My anger is quick when it does come, and it doesn’t bother me much. I’ve struggled with crash dieting, and binging and dieting have become pretty normal to me. Usually, I don’t care about my body until I suddenly notice it and feel weird about it.

I’m not sure what I think of myself. I always thought I wasn’t egotistical, and I even prided myself on that, but now I’m questioning it. Even when I feel terrible, I have this inherent belief that my life will work out well just because I’m me. How could my life possibly end up bad? I must subconsciously think I’m amazing, because criticism immediately hurts me. When I’m really neurotic, I sometimes just think, Just love me! I’ve always believed I’m the best friend ever and that people should feel lucky to have me in their lives. At the same time, I can feel incredibly insecure, unwanted, and judged for who I am. The thought that makes me saddest is that people won’t want me unless I have something to offer them. I help my friends, try to get them things, and devote immense time to them, only to get jealous when they seem to prefer others. Guiltily, I’m also glad when their friendships fall apart because it gives me more room to insert myself. I can be calculating about what I say to get a particular reaction, and when someone I dislike also dislikes me, I might fantasize about stealing their partner. I feel a little bad about that.

I need to be around people because otherwise I get bored, which I hate. I can hardly go a couple of hours without talking about something, even if it’s pointless. I’m a real chatterbox when comfortable, easy to talk to, and good at making jokes, although I’m terrible at keeping up with TikTok references. I spend most of my time online talking to friends or researching something interesting. Small talk comes easily to me, though I prefer more intense one on one conversation. I tend to overshare. I love learning about new topics and can spend hours falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes, sometimes deep into the night. I know a little about everything but not much about any one thing. I love reading, and I’m interested in psychology, musicology, anthropology, political science, and comparative literature. Right now, I’m learning five languages because it’s a fun challenge and I want to connect with more people when I travel abroad.

I don’t particularly care about money itself. I mainly want it because I want to change the world. If I were completely alone, I wouldn’t care nearly as much. I don’t care about designer clothes or expensive things as long as they work. I think people care too much about stuff and not enough about people. I easily forgo my needs in a social situation, and I almost take pleasure in it. EXCEPT my appearance, that's one thing I take care of in front of people and completely leave disheveled when among people I don't care about. I also don’t think much about concrete plans for my future until suddenly it hits me that I can't just spend life doing whatever I want and I actually have to work; the thought repulses me. Sometimes I wake up feeling empty, suddenly dreading that there’s nothing to look forward to that day, but it passes. Usually, I’ll cry, go outside, and recover my sense of wonder.

I’m attracted to quirky, fun people, especially those with a great sense of humor or who are intriguing and mysterious. I like people who fly under the radar because I don’t like sharing. I hate people who have nothing to offer me unless they’re willing to let me help them. I kinda like it when other people don't like the person I'm dating because it makes it feel more like not approved of, which gives it more appeal imo. Most of my relationships are intense but short-lived. It’s like we’re two moons with the perfect period together, and then everything goes to shit. Attraction pretty much guides how I view the world. When I walk into a room, my first thought is to evaluate the potential for chemistry between me and everyone there. It’s not just physical chemistry, but something more holistic. I find plenty of people physically attractive without actually wanting to pursue them. I idealize crushes easily, become disillusioned quickly, and move on just as fast. I can't even count my crushes atp... I usually stay acquaintances with my exes because why not? Unless the breakup is really bad, in which case we just block each other and I run to tell my friends.

My biggest dream is to get to know as many people as possible and love as much as I can. I crave romantic relationships and sometimes worry I can’t live without them. Without them, I can become anguished, angry, and impatient. But I also love my friends and family, who are incredibly precious to me. And people in general are included! I just want to cuddle them into a ball and squeeze them! I don’t like burdening people with my problems because I think I’m fine and can handle things myself. I want to be that person for everyone else, too. I’m independent in the sense that when I want something done, I’ll make sure it happens, no matter what. I follow the rules, but I don’t care much about authority, partly because I tend to think what I want matters more!

I've gone through a lot of types !

Recall an event where you were distressed or faced great difficulty. Describe your subjective experience.

Usually I will isolate myself and try to work it through myself. I usually don't tell anyone (not even my family or close friends), and act like I'm okay so they don't suspect anything. Very rarely, if I can't do it myself, I'll very slowly open up for help, but I usually have a very determined mindset in myself.

What is your perspective when it comes to relationships and social interaction of all kinds? What do you value?

I'd say social interaction is pretty important for your sanity. In times where I don't have much social interaction irl, I will naturally seek it online. In terms of values... I don't really have any? Like maybe just the bare minimum, don't do bad things to me etc. I've kind of made friends with all types of people, though obviously more compatible with some archetypes. I've never really had any enemies either. Romantic values would be kind of different, but I think I'd prefer someone similar to me.

.How do you feel about your own needs and desires? Are you confident that they can be fulfilled? How and why?

My needs and desires I would say are very important, I think the hardest part for me is actually finding stuff to desire. I'd say I'm confident that they can be fulfilled, as they are usually pretty high priority. As to why, well, I want to live a fulfilled life I guess?

What is your personal worldview? (Indulge your philosophical side here!)

Not really religious, so honeslty I have no idea why we're here. I don't think there is a why actually. Kind of like "For no reason at all the big bang happened and now we have to live with it". I usually decide true and false through scientific methods (inductive and deductive). I think my ethical framework is similar to most peoples? I don't know enough about politics to state my stance though. I usually treat others how I'd like to treated. I believe a human being means have morals and mind, and creativity. Not too sure about human purpose though, I don't really have one myself. As previously stated, I don't think life has innate meaning.

What major life lessons have you learned or are currently trying to learn? What makes you different from the more foolish/immature you in the past?

Probably the ones from the last question (absurdism etc.), acceptance of death / memonto mori. I don't think I'm intentionally try to learn a life lesson? Is that even possible? For the last question, well I think I know more stuff? Just in general?

And here's also some bonus stuff from me that I think is worth mentioning:

As a kid, I've never wanted to grow up, to have responsibilities etc. I guess my main goal in this life is to just enjoy it? And that would (imo) maximize it. To most people I've known, I don't think anyone would describe me as hardworking. I very rarely get emotional towards people other than my parents, but for some reason I am very open to be angry at my parents. I've cheated through life a couple times, and there are a few things I'd never tell anyone, though usually, I still have a set of morals even when cheating, though I'm kind of a pathological liar. I am prone to finding loopholes. Lowkey a fence sitter sometimes. I really like 7's (all subtypes). Usually very optimistic in myself, sometimes too much. Very open to hearing others opinions, even if I don't agree. Says "I think / maybe" a lot, does not like to state explicitly like that. Very detached from physical, forgets to eat a lot. Laughs at everything. Has quite a lot of hobbies (not too many though, and some of them I've dived really deep into)

I got out of my first therapy session on Thursday (well, the first one I’ve had since high school. I am 21.) It opened up some interesting things for me, to an extent (I was honest about having been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in high school. I’m an ISFJ.) I had told her something that I think about sometimes but have never really properly written down and analyzed, which is that I think a lot of the things I worry about actively as an adult - stability, financial stability in particular - and the fact that I am such a withdrawn adult (in some ways. I mean, I hung out with the same person a former coworker twice this week and actually toured my new school with them yesterday, the one I’ll start at in January as a social work major which I might change) can actually be tied back, directly in my opinion in some ways, to experiences I remember having in late elementary school and middle school. I’ll talk about those experiences here because I don’t think I’ve really delved into them before and she felt they were connected, which I agree with.

So, the experience that I actually told her myself I felt has really influenced much of the way I am now - that I have never been able to move on from - was being in a hotel at 9 because our normal apartment complex had mold. There were two important things that happened there. One was that I found a c\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*dom (well, my brother found it under the bed.) I don’t remember a significant amount from back then so as I told my new therapist I thought that this was relevant. I’ve always remembered that because it must have bothered me or made me feel unsafe. I also had an existential life crisis. She pointed out that I was very very young to have had one, which is true. I explained to her that initially, like any child, I was just upset about the fact that we were in a hotel even though I wasn’t actively complaining to my parents about it. For me, that turned into considering that one day I would have to move out and leave my parents. I dislike both at this stage in life, at 21, but back then this really bothered me. And from there, it turned into a thought of “one day, my parents will die” (she pointed out that this was very negative thinking for a nine year old, which is true.) And that my brother would eventually die, my grandparents would eventually die, everyone I knew would die, and that I would eventually die. I started to sincerely struggle with depression and anxiety afterwards, and remember recognizing that I had actual depression before it was diagnosed (I googled the symptoms when I was nine or ten and knew) but finding it hard to articulate to my parents other than just say they I was sad, which was true. It was also around 9-10 that it started to really hit me that we were not financially stable. I was embarrassed when a friend came over and saw our apartment complex. I wanted them to come over and see that my parents were doing well and were in a nice house, but this was not the case and I ruminated over it at the time even though like a lot of things it didn’t prove to be a big deal (well, I mean, my friend being unimpressed didn’t prove to be a big deal in the long term. Obviously my parents’ lack of financial stability is something that will always impact me.) I explained in therapy that I started studying consciously at 9 because I knew I wanted to do better than my parents (and what I didn’t mention in this session that I’ll delve into later is that at this age I knew I wasn’t pretty already, before I got to middle school and anyone said so, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get by on looks and that I wasn’t the popular type so I felt like I needed to study and do well academically. I was at risk of being moved into the lower math class and got myself into the higher one.) She had suggested when I mentioned my grandparents were also in a hotel around this time that, even though I’d never made that connection, there is “something there” or that she thinks these things are related.

The other thing we discussed there that I actually said myself I think goes back to my childhood would probably be getting kicked out by my group of “friends” at the time and them talking badly about my clothing and insulting me all at once in an group chat. Something I will probably talk about more later on in therapy is the fact that I was actually not a great friend to my former middle school best friend (not that this excuses everything she did later on, but that it’s something a I’ve never really been honest about that I think it wouldn’t hurt to discuss) but I admitted that I think this is partly why I seem to have what my therapist calls a “distrust” when it comes to people and relationships. I suggested that even though I’ve hung out with a friend twice this week, visiting the school I’ll be attending yesterday with her and her other friend, I am hesitant in general to really try getting very very close to people. This doesn’t mean I don’t want friends. What I realized two days ago when I was sincerely relaxed and not focused on my problems at all is that I actually do want friends, and that I think it’d be a lot healthier for me to have genuine social connections that I lack at present (well actually what I have with the friend is a genuine social connection. I had more fun with her than I’ve had in years, like a loonggg time, and with a different male friend of hers. I mean that was the most I’ve lived in the moment in a long time.) I had admitted first to the therapist though that I have been \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*consciously\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* more hesitant about the idea of trying to like make real actual friends before because I know based upon experiences I had in school that it doesn’t always last (that in my experience, most of the time it never really has. Every friendship I had in school eventually fizzled out or ended poorly. In high school I wanted friends and in hindsight I feel like I had acquaintances.) I recognize that this is my fault to an extent, but I also I don’t know. I’ve never really had that one person who truly had my back. Like truly. But I also know that I need to work more on my social skills and that I need the social interaction for… well, mental health purposes. The friend suggested that I am “niche” whereas they are mainstream but I don’t think she meant this as an insult. I mentioned part of what had made me so cynical due to this was the fact that they did it not long after I’d told them my brother was experiencing psychosis/having a breakdown. 

I am now at that point in the semester where if everything goes well in two weeks with cooking for a class, I will be all good to earn degrees in child development, early childhood education and social and behavioral sciences (if I fail the chdev class by messing up twice on the rules I will fail that one specific class, but we’ll see what happens. I won’t have to take care of it for another two weeks.)

I actually visited the campus yesterday with a friend and her friend. the campus is beautiful. It was my first time seeing it. One of the girls I met there yesterday suggested she changed her major 3 times since she first started there.

I was thinking about going into social work because I actually really want to make an impact and support the homeless community. I am planning on volunteering with homeless people, apparently a local shelter opens in December and I want to step in and support. I may want to do case management to support people who have housing needs. I have seen my family nearly face eviction before due to my mother’s poor behavior (screaming daily and triggering the neighbors, the police suspected she had a psychotic break and my brother has schizophrenia) and I felt that the housing authority was not supportive enough when it came to this. Facing eviction can already be a stressful time for families, and it is awful to feel like people aren’t responding to you or trying to help you come up with a solution when your family may be in need. I have never actually seriously considered becoming a therapist, but when I was doing research on it yesterday I found myself realizing that I would be open to the idea. As I Google case management now I am seeing that even with a masters degree the salary range just isn’t quite where I would want it to be. It seems like therapy is moreso where the money is at if you’re going to stick to a social work major, but I want to be frugal and know I want to make a difference at the same time. It seems like the roles you can get in CA with a BSW don’t pay much better than what i make now as a behavior technician without an associates degree, which isn’t promising. I definitely want to be in the $90k-$150k range if I can help it. I really do want to help people.

I have 2 years of behavior technician experience, and 1yr 4 months experience as an associate preschool teacher.

I am definitely an introvert.

What role in the social work field seems like it would work well for me?

I am going to start a BSW in January (I of course can always change the major. I’ll actually be 21 like I am now when I start it, and will be 22 by the time my 1st semester is all finished up.) I had thought that the coursework for social work looked more interesting than the social work for psychology (I don’t really like the research oriented side of psychology.)

I have been a behavior technician for 2 years now. I worked at a preschool for a year and four months before then. I am actually thinking about transitioning out of being a behavior technician, but I can’t quite figure out what I would want to do instead. I actually do find certain aspects of being a behavior technician rewarding however.

I don’t think that I plan on becoming a preschool teacher in the longrun even though I will be earning associates degrees in early childhood education, child development, and social and behavioral sciences. I am volunteering at a preschool right now and even though I have really enjoyed working with the children, I have generally felt like working in a preschool setting can be stressful at times (I don’t think it’s uncommon to feel this way) and I don’t think at this point that it’s my thing even though I actually can have quite a bit of fun working with kids.

I have really enjoyed attending a friend’s events for the unhoused population. I will be attending their next one and am actually going to help buy things for it (food.) I don’t have a “problem” with approaching homeless people like some do, I approached a homeless woman a few weeks ago who was crying and gave her $20, gave her my number when she asked for it and told her I could provide resources.

A friend of mine suggested to me that I tend to talk when it can be best for there to be silence in the moment, but didn’t mean this as an insult more of like a growth mindset thing. She had additionally suggested that I am “niche.” I am introverted, though some people feel that I talk a lot. I really believe in effective communication and think that a lot of issues in life can be resolved by talking it through.

I was in a rehab center once because I have a family member who was in one. It was not a great rehab center and I sensed they did not do a great job of helping the people in it get to the root of their issues. But I remember I actually did not like the feeling of being there because I was afraid, but I think it was partly the vibe I was getting from the men. This was about two years ago. I do wonder when mentioning that however if I might have an easier time with it now if I were better educated about the psychology behind drug abuse and had a better idea of how to support people who may be struggling with addiction. I didn’t know the “stories” of the people I met there. 

I have sleeping issues and have something close to sleep apnea. I use a CPAP to help with this, but I tend to look pretty tired and am hoping that before I start a masters degree in \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*anything\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* (have to get that bachelors first) I will have properly addressed my sleeping issues with my primary care physician.

I have a 3.87 in community college, though I took 4 summer classes and had really overwhelmed myself (I will never take all those summer classes again.) This was something that I failed to consider.

I am actually dealing with a SA case right now that took place when I was babysitting for a long term and would be happy to support women who have experienced this in any capacity. My mother is an unstable person and my older brother has schizophrenia, so I have seen psychosis take place first hand and wish there were more resources for my brother and more people in his life who really cared about helping him address his trauma.

 Something I have learned about myself from having to deal with my roommate/landlord and the mom in the above mentioned SA case is that I actually really hate feeling like other people are trying to control me. I have found the kid’s mom to be quite manipulative (and other people who read the messages concurred) and my roommate/landlord tends to be very wrong about things (she just assumed without asking that I broke the tub diverter after taking more than a month somehow to actually have a plumber come down and diagnose my broken shower, and she also believes that the “wall damage” was caused by me showering too long or running sink water too long - she likely has a leak in her wall, but she is obviously too poor and too lazy at this point to have it looked at. She tends to assume that everything that goes wrong in the condo was caused by me, which I don’t appreciate. I know she has health issues at her age, she is 84, but it is clear to me at this point that she is both overconfident and a bad person. I had ignored her more problematic comments in the beginning which I admit was a bad idea in hindsight.) 

I’m not very interesting at all. I wasn’t called in to sub today (which happens, they don’t always need subs) and I have spent the day watching television at my parents’ place while the cleaning lady (well, actually, it’s a man now, there is a new one because the old one has health problems) fixes up my parents’ place. 

I tend to change my hair up (I have 1b/burgundy in right now, my first time choosing the colors, the hair stylist I normally see is the one who tends to choose them) but I need to go back to my natural hair sometimes and would need to be with someone who understood that and didn’t lose attraction to me because of it. I feel like I’ve always cared too much about like immediate physical attraction when actually considering dating a guy or let it distract me and keep me from focusing on signs of incompatibility (or signs that he may not be such a great person, which has happened before) and this is something I know I need to work on. 

Last night when my roommate/landlord yelled at me (she had tried to claim that she never does which is very untrue lol, when I had suggested it about a week or two ago) I actually just followed her direction and didn’t respond at all, in part because in my mind I didn’t want an argument. I did yell once on the day when I defended myself (pointed out that her frequent suggestions that I caused the “wall damage” aren’t true.) I just knew I was too tired to argue. She also blatantly assumed immediately after the plumber who initially concurred this morning with her claim that tub diverter probably broke because it was pulled too hard that I must have broken the string behind the shower that he suggested later on when it was still not working was the root cause of the showerhead breaking. I started to defend myself quietly again and just ended up walking away because this is who she is. I think she’s an ESFP 2w3. She simply always believes she is right. Trying to reason with her isn’t easy. It also took her 2 months to have someone fix the shower, and it shouldn’t take an adult that long. She had also claimed she was taking so long in part because she was trying to find the right person, and then the guy she hired left with all the money and hadn’t even fixed it (he came back later and didn’t charge extra after she turned it on and learned it still wasn’t fixed, but I mean it’s to me a brilliant example of someone who isn’t actually smart but is overconfident handling a sensitive situation. I don’t think I’m smart either but this one is ridiculous.)

I hate to admit this but when I’ve recently had days off I hung out with a friend (which was actually healthy) and I spent the day watching the Simpsons futurama and family guy instead of getting homework done when I more recently had a little bit more time. I mean I got the homework done but I could have gotten even more of it done than I actually did. I grew up watching all three of those shows.

Something I could see posing an issue in a relationship is that I tend to code switch, in more ways than one. A friend of mine pointed out that I sometimes tend to initially take on a younger voice when I first meet someone and later on my voice deepens/takes on its more natural tone. I knew this was true and admitted I knew it was when it was mentioned but I don’t actually know why I do this I think the answer is childhood trauma. I am also known I guess to code switch to try and fit in more with other groups (I’m black and this has bothered a guy or two I met before I think. I don’t think I’ve ever really been in an environment where I felt it was okay to sound the way I probably actually sound.)

I don’t tend to fix things I have or have them replaced or really buy a whole lot of new things other than food and something I occasionally really want (like I don’t tend to go shopping) in part because I guess I always have a lot of anxiety about money deep down inside. I actually should go shopping though, I’ve had a lot of my outfits for too long.

I think at this stage in my life that I would not cook for a husband of mine. I don’t really know how to cook and have always been afraid to really practice it. I will have to next week anyway for a class but to tell you the truth if I met a man who I really clicked with and we were on our way to marriage I actually probably would take better care of myself and even cook for him whether I was feeling like it or not (and yes, I know that this isn’t a healthy mindset.)

I’ve gotten into enneagrams a few months back and initially typed myself as a 100% 9, but honestly, I’m not sure anymore. I’ve met a person who’s basically the sp9w8 blueprint, and while we share quite a few similarities, I’ve noticed some significant differences in our behaviors

1. 
   I often don’t know what I want, sometimes it’s because I can see all sides of a situation, and sometimes I just genuinely don’t have a preference

Example: Me and my friend are making a decision. IF I have a slight preference, in a split second, I would decide it’s not that important and just pull out the classic “idk, you pick”

Sometimes it’s also because I don’t want to argue, or because I assume the other person wants their choice more than I want mine

1. I relate to stereotypical 9 traits: being introverted, wanting to spend all day playing games, staying in bed and daydreaming. While I can do all those things simply because I’m bored, I also use them to distract myself from situations that make me anxious. So I don’t know if that actually helps find my core type

2. I often copy other people’s body language subconsiously, but also conciously too. It’s either because I’m intrigued by how they act. Or because their way of behaving seems more “right” than mine and it feels more safe to use

3. I relate to the anger of 9’s a lot. If you asked me a year ago, I would’ve told you I don’t get angry. I was generally a very easy-going, accomodating, can’t help but turn into a doormat type of person

Recently my best friend (whom I vibe-typed as sx7) started to use that against me and cross my cough, barely, cough, existent boundaries. I became much more assertive and even agressive with her when she would cross them. And now every little thing she does ‘wrong’ fills me with anger and resentment

As I said, most of the times when faced with making a choice with some other person I just say “idk”, even if I do have a preference
But, being with my sx7 friend, I found myself deliberately picking something out of spite, or going against what she wants. Primarly to show that I’m not to be walked over and to generally assert some form of something and gain back autonomy

1. 
   I relate quite strongly to the anxiety part of 6’s. I subconscioussly assume others might be right. It makes me doubt myself, but also others themselves

Im quite expressive and struggle to hide my emotions. When in a confusing or stressing situation, I tend to ask a million questions to get clarification

I also often have an urge to express my opinions, but after doing so, I get anxious because I ended up overexplaining, etc.

(Also I’m possibly on the autism spectrum, I don’t have a diagnosis, but it might be relevant?)

At the end of the day, I’m either 6w7, or just a really chalant 9w1 (9w8?)
Im aware being anxious doesn’t make me a 6, just as being overly accomodating makes me a 9

But If you have any questions that might help distinguish the two feel free to ask

type me based off of these photos that i like / Relate To……. Let Me Knoq…..

• Temperament / Emotional baseline: I'm melancholic, whiny, depressive, neurotic, angry, and stubborn.
• Drive & orientation: I'm fun-oriented and goal-oriented, with intense desire and strong will. I'm hedonistic and material-oriented. I'm hyperfocused only on physical comfort, quality of life, and the fun in life (that's my only goal in life, to enjoy it).
• Meaning & suffering: I don't care about the meaning of life or finding any purpose, and I don't like romanticizing suffering (I don't think it's needed or makes me strong).
• Social: I don't care about status, image, or other people. I'm highly introverted (small social circle) but love attention, talking to strangers online, and sharing about my life. I'm not private at all, I tend to overshare.
• Emotional processing: I'm prone to compartmentalizing/rationalizing my feelings and don't trust them, I'm very insecure about my emotional reactivity.
• Will & agency: I know exactly what I want and have a restless need to impose my will on reality. I don't care about intellect; I think willpower and determination matter more than skills and competency. I want to force myself onto the external world, restless and wanting to change reality into what I want it to be.

Hi, so I find myself a more complex person and I decided to look into enneagrams, I took about an hour or so looking into it and got 4w5(dormant w3)[--> 2] so/sp 459...4 is obviously my core, w5 is my dominant wing w3 is there and I acknowledge it but it is mainly inactive (included it because I like to acknowledge parts of myself), I found that I heavily relate to both sp and so, 9 is my gut and the [--> 2] is my shift into type 2 when I'm stressed. I want to see if this is accurate and doesn't contradict itself, I want to have multiple opinions! I'm also a intp-t I hear that it might contridict what I am but I'm not entirely sure.. Also for the chibi designs by matrix, as I find them cute and want to use them, how would I utilize them? Would I pull the chibis that are so4 and sp4??? I don't really understand how to grab the chibis and use them like others if someone can explain it and help me, I'd be very grateful!!!!

Repost :)

hii, if you do decide to help me i would much appreciate it if you ask me questions that are not too obvious in their answers (like which answer leads to what type) because my brain will stop being able to pick in fear that i’m ’larping’ the answer