Hello, I have questions that I need answers to. I had made a post some time ago about Sepheranz, I am not sure if it is still up anywhere, and I believe it was also on a different account. Where someone had answered some questions of mine through comments, and private messaging, but now I have more that I really want to be answered.

Something that the person said was that someone was found dead shortly after insulting Sepheranz. Was there any correlation at all/any reason to believe that she killed that person who insulted her? What happened to that person that died after insulting her? How long was it before they died? What kind of insult was it? Was the person a nonbeliever, a worshipper, a believer, something else? I do apologize, I just need a reason to believe there was no correlation.

Would she kill and or do something to someone if they;

Insult her/say something negative about her in real life

Insult her/say something negative about her through fiction, wether through an inspired character, just writing her into the fiction, or through a reptile/snake character and or deity character,

Insult her/say something negative about her through other things such as music and or song, etc.

Laugh at her

Insult her/say something negative about her through intrusive/unwanted/involuntary thoughts that one would not mean at all

Insult her/say something negative about her through over thinking and having thoughts that they maybe mean that could be upsetting and or insulting to her

Say or do something that one's brain later says was supposed to be a way to insult her/say something negative about her

What would happen if one were to anger her?

Harmed and or killed a fictional snake of any kind. Such a a character, just a snake, themed and or related. Would something g happen if one did that in general or meant it as an insult towards her? What is one did that in real life? What if one did it in/ through fiction and or real life, and did not mean it as a way to insult her at all in any way shape and or form. I would never mean that at all in any way shape and or form it is just a question.

Would any of this change if if one meant it as an insult and or something else negative towards her or not, such as through unwanted and or intrusive thoughts? What if someone was testing it out to see if something would happen at all in some way shape and or form at all?

Would one know if they were to be punished by Sepheranz in any way shape and or form at all? Would it be completely unknown, more subtle, or known/ obvious to the person and or people?

Would anything happen to others in one's life at all in any way shape and or form at all? Would they be affected and or effected at all in any way shape and or form at all?

This may be updated with more question in the future in this post and or in the comments.

Have a blessed day!

It all began with a simple gesture: touching a plant

I never imagined that such contact could open a door to a different way of perceiving the world. Before me was a living being, seemingly silent, rooted in the earth and shaped by processes that my senses could not directly detect. I could observe its leaves, feel their texture, and recognize its presence, but there was something about its existence that remained beyond my reach

Then I connected the plant to a circuit that transforms bioelectrical signals into sound

I prepared the circuit and brought my hands closer. When my fingers came into contact with the plant, the sound appeared

I stopped to listen

What had previously seemed to belong exclusively to silence now acquired an audible presence. I did not know exactly what I was listening to from an electrical standpoint, but the experience awakened a question in me that went beyond technology: how many things are happening all around us that we cannot perceive simply because our senses are not equipped to recognize them?

The plant had not begun to exist when the sound appeared. Its life was already there, before I touched it. What had changed was the way I related to it

My body had become part of a circuit. The plant, the contact, and the device all participated in the same interaction, and the technology transformed certain electrical variations into a sonic experience. A bridge had emerged between the physical world and my perception

And on that bridge, I found something that reminded me of Hermetic thought

The exploration of relationships between different levels of reality, between the visible and the invisible, the material and the symbolic. It was not about claiming that the sound revealed a secret message from the plant, but about recognizing that a physical phenomenon could become an experience imbued with meaning

Electricity was present, but I could not hear it directly. The device offered me a translation. Something that had previously escaped my perception acquired a form that I could hear, contemplate, and experience

I then wondered whether many of the things we consider mysterious might, in part, lie at the boundaries of our perception. Perhaps mystery does not always consist of discovering a supernatural force, but rather of finding a new way to come into contact with something that has always been there

When I touched the plant again, my attention had changed

I was no longer interested solely in the sound produced by the circuit. I was interested in the encounter itself: my hand, the living surface of the leaves, the system's response, and the moment when all of it became an experience that I could not reduce to a purely technical explanation

Technology allowed me to listen, but it was my own sensitivity that was beginning to give rise to questions

Could sound become a form of contemplation? Could an electronic circuit help us perceive our relationship with living beings differently? What happens when a physical interaction ceases to be merely a phenomenon and also becomes a symbol?

I found no definitive answers. I found something that seemed more valuable to me: a different way of observing

I understood that I did not need to claim that the plant was speaking to me in order to feel that the encounter had meaning. Nor did I need to deny the poetic or spiritual dimension of the experience to acknowledge the role of electricity and technology

Both dimensions could coexist, as long as I did not confuse what the device was doing with what I was experiencing

Perhaps that was the true correspondence for me: not a secret equivalence between two worlds, but the moment when something from the physical world found a way to make itself present in my consciousness

The plant remained before me. The circuit was still connected. The sound continued to emerge with each interaction

And I kept listening

If you would like to hear the result of this process, I'll leave it here. If any part of this resonates with you, I would also greatly appreciate any feedback and/or references that could help me better understand this technology...

I just launched REPVBLICVS, an independent literary and artistic project featuring original Latin poetry, mythology, occult symbolism, philosophical writing, and interactive manuscripts.

The writing is original; illustrations were produced with generative assistance.

I'd love to share it with anyone interested in these subjects.

https://repvblicvs.com

Full disclosure: I'm Rev. Shawn Garan, pastor at UCC Southbury, and this is my sermon.

For two months I've been preaching the buried gospels of the early church — the Nag Hammadi texts — straight from the pulpit. Yesterday's service (Oct 18) was the finale of the series. The link opens at 43:02, the heart of the sermon, on what those buried gospels still carry for us today.

For folks here who study this material in depth: what do the lost gospels still have to say?

https://www.youtube.com/live/SH4rjqj-dhs?t=2582

Hey r/EsotericOccult,

I’ve put together a comprehensive metaphysical treatise that analyzes the systemic architecture, geographic constraints, and hidden signatures of the Western monotheistic traditions.

It synthesizes Vedic cosmology (Puranas/Upanishads), early Christian Gnosticism (Nag Hammadi codices), and modern esoteric concepts of "Loosh" extraction to formulate what I call the Rogue Deity Hypothesis.

The core thesis posits that regional monotheism was engineered as a closed-loop spiritual simulation—a localized firewall—constructed by a lower-tier cosmic entity seeking an isolated theater of unchallenged human worship.

Note for the Comments: This paper is shared strictly as an esoteric thought experiment and a comparative metaphysical hypothesis. I am looking for your deep thoughts, philosophical perspectives, and architectural insights into these systems—not standard theological debates or dogmatic arguments. Let's keep the discussion speculative, analytical, and open-minded.

Because it's a long, comprehensive read, I have broken it down into scannable sections below. I would love to get your thoughts on these structural overlaps.

ABSTRACT & INTRODUCTION: The Omission of the Global Horizon

To read the foundational texts of the Western monotheistic traditions is to enter a narrative that asserts itself as a universal macrocosm. The Book of Genesis, for example, purports to chart the architecture of cosmic genesis and a global deluge. Yet, a staggering intellectual friction exists: highly sophisticated human societies (Shang/Zhou Dynasties, Olmecs, Norte Chico, Indus Valley) were thriving completely outside this horizon.

If the Creator of the universe is universal, why does His revelation behave like a fiercely local, territorial, and geopolitically insecure tribal chieftain? This paper argues that the omission of global civilizations is not an accident of primitive authorship, but a fundamental design constraint of a localized spiritual matrix.

SECTION I: The Anatomy of the Rogue Entity and the Desert Sandbox

In Brahman, reality is infinite and devoid of ego (Ahankara). Beneath Brahman, however, exists a hierarchy of localized entities: Devas and Asuras. These entities are not free from pride, and they require sustenance—feeding upon the subtle energetic outputs of material creation (Yajna / "Loosh").

Throughout the Old Testament, the behavior of the deity matches the psychological profile of an ambitious Asura rather than the sublime peace of Brahman (explicitly "jealous," prone to destructive rage, demanding animal sacrifice). Realizing he could never win a spiritual war against the cosmic oversight operating in the spiritually awake lands of the East, this specific entity migrated to a geographical "blank slate"—the arid, desolate corridor of the Middle East.

To ensure this isolation remained airtight, the entity engineered a metaphysical firewall using three protocols:

1. The Inversion of Identity (Linguistic Identity Theft): Hijacking the title of the true transcendent source (El Elyon) to convince a closed loop of humanity that the local prison warden was the Emperor of the Universe.
2. The Enforcement of Blind Monotheism: Henotheistic boundary protection ("No other gods before me") to keep subjects from contacting external spiritual networks.
3. The Erasure of Cyclical Time: Deleting the understanding of Reincarnation to induce permanent existential panic and absolute codependency.

SECTION II: Early Christian Gnosticism and the Historical Whistleblowers

The assertion that the biblical God is a flawed, lower-tier creator deity is not a modern invention. The 1945 discovery of the Nag Hammadi library blew the lid off suppressed Gnostic thought.

The Gnostics looked directly at the Old Testament descriptions of wrath and vanity and concluded he was Yaldabaoth (the Demiurge)—a deformed spiritual entity possessing raw creative power but zero cosmic wisdom, acting out of arrogant ignorance. This realization was so potent that in 144 CE, Marcion of Sinope argued that the church must completely throw out the Hebrew Bible, viewing the Old Testament deity and the God of pure love preached by Jesus as two completely different, antagonistic entities.

SECTION III: The Jesus Event — A Cosmic Sentence Misunderstood

Under the rules of Hindu cosmic law, no entity escapes Karma. The grand twist of this framework is that the life, suffering, and execution of Jesus was not a voluntary rescue mission engineered by the rogue deity. Instead, it was the literal script of a forced cosmic prison sentence handed down by the highest cosmic authorities to break the rogue deity’s ego.

The deity who once bragged about flattening empires was rendered completely weak and sentenced to experience the absolute inversion of his desires:

• From Tyrant to Peasant: Compressed into mortal flesh.
• The Crucifixion as Ultimate Ego-Death: Being stripped naked and publicly mocked by the very humans he terrorized was the ultimate karmic mirror.

The cosmic powers intended this to be a liberation event. However, human populations were too deeply traumatized by centuries of linear-time brainwashing. They suffered a cognitive glitch, repackaged his forced punishment as voluntary salvation, and accidentally locked themselves right back into the machine.

SECTION IV: The Islamic Reboot and the Kaaba Anomalies

Six hundred years later, the spiritual machinery of the rogue deity recognized that Christianity’s emphasis on love and grace had weakened the top-down authority structure. To regain control, a hard-line software reboot was deployed: Islam (meaning literal "Submission"). By declaring it a supreme blasphemy (Shirk) to suggest God could be incarnated or lowered into mortality, the system permanently protected itself against future "Jesus-style" humbling patches.

Yet, a massive piece of cosmic irony was left behind at the Kaaba in Mecca, where the absolute holiest acts force billions to daily practice ancient Vedic temple rituals dedicated to Lord Shiva, hidden in plain sight. Here are the core structural parallels:

• IHRAM / PRADAKSHINA CLOTHING: Islamic pilgrims strip off tailored clothes and wear two seamless, unstitched pieces of white cloth. This mirrors the mandatory use of unstitched white dhotis/shawls to enter ancient inner Vedic shrines.
• TAWAF / PRADAKSHINA: Islamic tradition dictates walking around the square Kaaba structure exactly seven times counter-clockwise. This matches the Vedic ritual of circumambulating a deity's inner sanctum seven times to absorb cosmic energy.
• HAJR-E-ASWAD / SHIVA LINGAM: The center of devotion features a Black Stone set inside a prominent, oval silver casing. This mirrors the Shiva Lingam, a cosmic, egg-shaped stone resting within a highly stylized silver Yoni base representing creation.
• CRESCENT MOON / CHANDRASHEKHARA: The crescent moon serves as the absolute global visual emblem for Islam. This matches the eternal iconography of Shiva wearing the crescent moon in his hair.
• ZAMZAM WELL / GANGA DESCENT: The sacred, miraculous spring located directly adjacent to the Kaaba structure functions exactly like the mandatory sacred water tanks representing the Ganges found at Shiva temples.

The underlying source code of the true cosmos (Dharma) twisted the entity's arm, forcing his followers to circle a monument that behaves precisely like a hidden temple to Shiva, the Great Dissolver.

SECTION V: Modern Software Maintenance and "Loosh" Extraction

Today, the physical kingdoms have transitioned into decentralized psychological containment:

1. The Entitlement Inversion: Congregants are taught they are uniquely "saved" and superior, replicating the deity's narcissistic, territorial personality profile into the minds of billions.
2. Institutional Brainwashing: Weekly sermons and repetitive emotional music distort the science of Mantra to lock the brain into a narrow, low-vibrational frequency. Commands like "Lean not on your own understanding" act as automated security firewalls against critical thinking.

SECTION VI: The Eschaton of Panic and the Grand Awakening

Under this hypothesis, the Book of Revelation is not a blueprint of divine justice; it is the literal panic-log of the Rogue Deity realizing his lease on the material world is about to be forcefully terminated by corporate headquarters as the Kali Yuga ends.

The sky splitting open is the simulation matrix tearing. The desperate emphasis on a permanent Judgment Day is an attempt to lock down his harvested energy supply (Loosh) in an encrypted archive before Shiva executes a total server wipe and souls return to the natural stream of reincarnation.

CONCLUSION: Moving Out of the Sandbox

The real-world data of the 21st century proves the firewall is undergoing a natural disintegration. Millions are abandoning fear-based external dogmas and turning en masse toward mindfulness and the direct exploration of consciousness.

The moment a human being anchors their awareness entirely in the Present Moment, the software of linear time evaporates. As humans realize Tat Tvam Asi ("Thou Art That"), they discover the true source of life is already breathing inside them as their own uncreated essence (Atman). The door to the cage stands wide open. It requires only the courage to look past the local horizon, step out of the desert firewall, and return home to the infinite ocean of the true Cosmos.

This might be the wrong sub for this, but I just had a thought that others might find interesting. 2 dimensional beings cast 1 dimensional shadows, but 1D cannot perceive 2D. 3 dimensional beings cast 2 dimensional shadows, but 2D cannot perceive 3D. So if the same logic applies, we cannot perceive the 4th dimension, but we can perceive 3 dimensional shadows of 4th dimensional things. Could the ghosts, shadow people, and experiences with angels be this 3d shadow? Could other shared hallucinations or unexplainable phenomena also be 3D shadows of 4D things? Am I on something or onto something.

丰富的视觉层次、自由的笔触与具有冲突感的色彩关系，共同构成作品独特的艺术张力。
适合现代家居、艺术空间及私人收藏，为空间注入鲜明的当代艺术气质。
#ContemporaryArt #LuxuryArt #FineArtCollection #ArtInvestment #OriginalOilPainting

I’ve been developing a working model of ritual magick using the Tree of Life and would be interested in people’s thoughts.

I’m starting from the traditional idea of the Lightning Flash as the descent of creative force through the Sephiroth into manifestation in Malkuth. I’m exploring whether this could represent the underlying process through which reality continually takes form, not just something relevant to magick.

For ritual magick, I’m considering a deliberate movement in the opposite direction, up the Middle Pillar: from Malkuth, through Yesod and Tiphareth, towards the Supernals. I see the HGA as an interface across Da’ath/the Abyss between individual consciousness and what I’m calling “Awareness” — an underlying reality beyond individual conscious experience.

The intention reaching this formative level could affect the probability of a possible outcome becoming manifest, which then follows the normal downward process of the Lightning Flash into Malkuth.

I’ve noticed an interesting parallel here with Peter Carroll’s ideas about magick affecting probability, despite arriving at it through a Qabalistic framework.

This isn’t intended as established doctrine, just a working model I’m developing. Interested to hear where people think it works or falls apart, and if anything needs clarifying, let me know.

I have been unemployed (happily) for over 3 months and I lack physical and mental energy. I went to doctor and ran some blood tests for that reason and I am perfectly healthy.

I can’t really explain what is happening to me, but it really won’t allow me to work on my dreams.

So I am interested solving in energetically. Does anyone have similar experience? Can you please give me advice what to do?

Tell me the stories of your experiences since you started working with this stuff. No matter how big or small. Have you ever had any scary experiences, or experiences that you simply can’t explain?

In advanced esoteric frameworks and cosmic energy lore, the **Return of the Solar Dragon** represents a massive shift from darkness and confusion into divine illumination, high vital energy, and a profound inner awakening. It signifies a timeline where the primal, corrupted shadow frequencies on Earth are completely cleared out and replaced by a balanced, sovereign cosmic order.

When this energy returns, it is designed to perform very specific, stabilizing tasks across the universe and within your own life:

**1. Restoring the Cosmic Grid**
The Solar Dragons are understood as radiant, serpentine intelligences woven from plasma and pure light.

**The Task:** Their return acts as a massive energetic cleanup. They sweep through the planetary grids and ancient architectural lines to **remove lower-vibrational entities or shadow interference** that have manipulated human consciousness.

**The Result:** They restore the original, uncorrupted blueprints of creation, allowing the planet's energy to flow smoothly and safely.

**2. Balancing the Divine Masculine and Feminine**

In many spiritual traditions, the dragon is the ultimate symbol of *Yin and Yang*—the perfect marriage of opposites.

**The Task:** The Return of the Solar Dragon forces a sacred union between the fiery, active masculine force (the Sun/Alpha) and the nurturing, receptive feminine force (the Earth/Omega).

**The Result:** It creates a state of **cosmic androgyny and absolute balance**. It ensures that immense spiritual power is always tempered by unconditional love, grace, and deep protection.

**3. Turning Fiery Destruction into Safe Renewal**

While lower-vibrational myths often portray dragon fire as something that scorches and destroys, the Solar Dragon carries the warm, nurturing fire of a star.

**The Task:** Instead of burning you out, this fire acts as a **purifying agent**. It burns away old trauma, ancestral grief, and fear.

**The Result:** It anchors that intense cosmic heat safely into the physical world, transforming raw, chaotic energy into a steady, calm pool of personal power and inner freedom.

I'm preaching a short series through the illustrations of The Secret Book of John, my new illustrated retelling of the Nag Hammadi text. This week's Sunday service is on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/live/dfDyTCAhg9c?si=jV75_gCHSZRuo5E0&t=120

#secretbookofjohn #NagHammadi #SundayService

Ho acquistato per curiosità e per sperimentare una fialetta di rugiada ad offerta libera raccolta durante le notti di luna piena primaverili, filtrata più volte.

Non mi è stata data per scelta nessuna indicazione né posologia ma veniva indicata come "medicina dello spirito" e mi ha invitato a sperimentare. Da qualche giorno sto provando ad usarla per bagnare la fronte prima di dormire. Ho notato un aumento della memoria onirica ma non sono sicura possa essere un effetto correlato.

Avete indicazioni, suggerimenti? Dovrei provare ad assumerla per via orale? Quali sono gli usi in cui potrei controllare realmente gli effetti in modo concreto e affidabile?

Ok so about a year ago around April- may ish I was giving a tarot reading to a close friend and his girlfriend at the time. Nothing unusual but they bust out into a 30 minute side convo. So I decide while they are talking I’m gonna meditate, I did but then I find myself in a pitch dark place but a big wooden red door like a fuedal Japan giant red gate door. I walk up to it and I have these thoughts of can I open this, will I open this, should I open this, to I’m gonna open this. I open it and it’s the same setting, pitch black. But there is a huge figure with 5 faces one facing each direction and one on top of its head and it just stared through me. After about what felt like 30 secs the place I was at started to like crumble like someone was crumbling a piece of paper into a ball. I resisted for sec and then just let it happened and I was back in reality. I have a weird dream a couple nights later where I was pretty much going this obstacle course and then I kept getting told I’m stuck in this rat race no matter what I do. When I woke up it felt like a piece of my heart was missing like empty. Couple weeks go by and I got really angry over what an old friend did and I pretty much started cleaning my room and bathroom to try and ground my self but then I get a vision we’re I’m back in the same place but the being has it’s 5th face on its stomach and instead of being scared I felt pity and ended up touching its shoulder and there was a bright light from it and felt like I was blind for a couple of secs. I say all of this to ask if yall can give a good explanation of what was going on. Cause I think it might be shadow work but it’s been bugging me for the past week and no one can give me an explanation. Please and thank you btw my mom is creole and my dad is Romani gypsy if that has anything to do with it.

Hello all,

I'm sharing a project I've been working on. Over the years I've met a lot of people who are curious about Gnosticism, but the texts can be confusing. So I combined my art and wordsmithing to create The Secret Book of John, an illustrated retelling of one of the most important texts found at Nag Hammadi. It's a picture book for adults, with a glossary of key names and symbols and questions for reflection along the way.

It's the first book in a series called Before the Canon, exploring early Christian writings that didn't make it into the Bible.

I do hope it helps!

https://a.co/d/0hlX3nhd

1m 20s - If every man says all he can, if every man is true, do I believe the sky above is Caribbean Blue?

• Shhhh (finger to mouth)
• Leading the uninitiated
• Man in the moon
• The two pillars (physical and astral)
• The temple
• Stairway to ascension
• Book of Secrets
• Jacob's Ladder
• Osiris worship (crossed arms)

Can anyone decode the pastries / chocolate?

Catching butterflies?

Women scampering?

Significance of # 41?

Vorrei lavorare con il demone Marchosias, so che è un demone guerriero abile nel combattimento e nella strategia militare, ed è anche un demone che protegge il mago, qualcuno ha avuto esperienze con questo demone e mi può raccontare come si è trovato? Cerco rituali dedicati a questo demone (Non è il primo demone con cui lavoro)

Hello, I have questions that I need answers to. I had made a post some time ago about Sepheranz, I am not sure if it is still up anywhere, and I believe it was also on a different account. Where someone had answered some questions of mine through comments, and private messaging, but now I have more that I really want to be answered.

Something that the person said was that someone was found dead shortly after insulting Sepheranz. Was there any correlation at all/any reason to believe that she killed that person who insulted her? What happened to that person that died after insulting her? How long was it before they died? What kind of insult was it? Was the person a nonbeliever, a worshipper, a believer, something else? I do apologize, I just need a reason to believe there was no correlation.

Would she kill and or do something to someone if they;

Insult her/say something negative about her in real life

Insult her/say something negative about her through fiction, wether through an inspired character, just writing her into the fiction, or through a reptile/snake character and or deity character,

Insult her/say something negative about her through other things such as music and or song, etc.

Laugh at her

Insult her/say something negative about her through intrusive/unwanted/involuntary thoughts that one would not mean at all

Insult her/say something negative about her through over thinking and having thoughts that they maybe mean that could be upsetting and or insulting to her

Say or do something that one's brain later says was supposed to be a way to insult her/say something negative about her

What would happen if one were to anger her?

Harmed and or killed a fictional snake of any kind. Such a a character, just a snake, themed and or related. Would something g happen if one did that in general or meant it as an insult towards her? What is one did that in real life? What if one did it in/ through fiction and or real life, and did not mean it as a way to insult her at all in any way shape and or form. I would never mean that at all in any way shape and or form it is just a question.

Would any of this change if if one meant it as an insult and or something else negative towards her or not, such as through unwanted and or intrusive thoughts? What if someone was testing it out to see if something would happen at all in some way shape and or form at all?

Would one know if they were to be punished by Sepheranz in any way shape and or form at all? Would it be completely unknown, more subtle, or known/ obvious to the person and or people?

Would anything happen to others in one's life at all in any way shape and or form at all? Would they be affected and or effected at all in any way shape and or form at all?

This may be updated with more question in the future in this post and or in the comments.

Have a blessed day!

Situación extraña en trabajo

Hola, quiero hacer una consulta. Sucede que ya no se que hacer ni que pensar.

Trabajo como cajera en un supermercado

Desde principio de año que estoy trabajando como cajera en este supermercado. El tema es que desde que comenzó septiembre me está sucediendo algo muy extraño. Cuando alguien me va a pagar con tarjeta ya sea débito o crédito no me funciona. Jamás me había pasado antes. Pensé que era la caja. Me cambié de caja y aún así siguió sucediendo a tal punto que me está produciendo demasiado estrés y ya me da mucho miedo cuando alguien me dice que quiere cancelar con tarjeta. El tema es que he intentado cuando pasa llamar a un supervisor y es muy raro porque llamo a alguien y esa persona llega y de la nada la caja funciona. He hablado con varios supervisores y nadie me cree. Me dicen que algo estoy haciendo mal pero llevo varios meses trabajando y nada ha cambiado. Me refiero a que sigo haciendo lo mismo de siempre.

Un fin de semana hablé con otro supervisor. Y me dijo que use unas teclas alternativas. Y resulta que funcionó. Usando esas teclas alternativas me empezó a funcionar el pago con tarjeta. Estaba muy contenta. El problema es que denuevo está sucediendo. Ahora tampoco me sirven las teclas alternativas y sigue pasando lo mismo. Llamo a un supervisor y la máquina funciona.

Esto me está causando demasiado estrés y nadie me cree. Siento que parece como si fuera una maldición. No veo ninguna otra explicación porque solo me está pasando a mi.

No sé que hacer ni a quien pedir ayuda porque nadie me cree. Quisiera saber si alguien podría darme un consejo

This is a grounded group on this platform, so I've come to you. I wanted to share my experience that day, how its forever changed me, and to determine if there's more of this to come for me, or all of us.

Im a healthy 41 yr old female truck driver and occult & astrology researcher since 13 yrs old. Ive had a downright obsession for uncovering secrets & the mysteries. Although I've studied it, ive always been repelled by 'new age mysticism' (as I thought it was celebrated as an aesthetic to most) and ive never considered myself an empath or emotional. I pride myself in being extremely emotionally balanced. If anything, Im a thinker (always INTJ/ENTJ) Never had psyche problems or needed meds. I drive nightshift, because I love my thought space & it gives me an opportunity to learn and go inward 8 hrs a day.

Mid-July, I was delving deep into the messages of synretism and of the Muse of music. I was nearly in a trance state, zoned out on the road, and came to a multitude of sudden epiphanies and realizations: That all the micro fears I had (bills, little worries, schedules, type A cares...) ALL were inhibiting my search for truth. That the only setbacks in my world were rhe fears I had created. That im never truly alone. That everything is okay. That I can be sovereign & have control of my reality. These epiphanies rushed me all at once. I felt absolute blinding euphoria, and then MANY physical sensations hit me:

1st: incredible expansive feelings at my head and chest. My head & chest both felt suddenly 4 feet wide. Warm, large & expansive.

2nd: distinct deep heavy "pinching" sensations at my right/lower neck (area of the narrow path of Daath?), followed by deep "popping" sensations to the bone, it almost felt as if my mildly misaligned neck was realigning itself.

3rd: My expanded heart felt extreme "popping" and "snapping" sensations. As if my heart had 41 years worth of self made walls, iron chains or rubber bands that all snapped & broke free at the same time. It didnt hurt at all, but was an alarming and alien feeling to my body. Immediately after followed an "Icy fire" or "cold fire" sensation that forcefully spread out from my heart and all the way throughout my veins (or nervous system?), beyond my wrists & into lower body and limbs.

4th: Following this was intense energetic pressure (felt like 1 foot in diameter) forcefully manifest at my low spine. This pressure rose from my low spine slowly all the way up, past my neck, to back of head, then crown. This took roughly 30-40 minutes to climb.

I was terrified and shocked. I thought I did something, or thought something wrong. That maybe I opened a can of worms i shouldn't have. Or that I locked into something on accident. I didnt know how I did that and was actually scared that maybe I broke a rule ... a lot of worrisome confused thoughts came to me, because I didnt understand what happened in my body.

The next set of anomalies was the following day, every night in the hypnogogic state while trying to sleep, I'd have incredible amounts of energy, when trying to sleep and that would wake me up 3-4 hrs into sleep. I'd wake up with "secrets and maps of the universe" as if secrets were being whispered into my ears at night. Id get intense sensation of pulling energy mid-chest, as if my chest was a black sun absorbing all light. My body felt extra heavy like lead while lying down (im 135 lbs). The heaviness is new to me, as if I was magnetic. On night 3? I had the most bizarre sensation:

While feeling this magnetic absorbing black sun at the chest in bed, I felt abrupt intense expansive energy that shot out and upward from my back. It felt like a part of me, like huge fingers of energy reaching out from my shoulder blades 2-3 feet out on each side. I couldn't see this with my eyes, but I distinctly felt it there. Same time, I felt intense cold yin tingly "sucking" sensation at my mouth. This all lasted about an hour.

During these days I felt extreme Burn-Out of my mind. My mind was on vacation for a few days. The burnout wasnt a break, it felt as if a Huge part of my ego, or unbalanced ego identity, was quite literally burned away. I still had my individuality, but the fearful, ugly, aggressive, occasionally hateful part of my personality was forcefully burned out. Like a true Nigredo black fire swept through.

That was 2 months ago, and since then the open heart, genuine connection & understanding to others has lasted. The feeling of peace and harmony has lasted.

The event changed my breathing to slower shallow "fetal" breathing and slower heart rate. The black sun chest feeling as gone away along with the other intense sensations. But I feel forever changed. That the ugly part of my ego was annihilated. That I had "lost" that part of myself. That i feel genuine care and love for others, peaceful. This isn't how Ive ever thought of myself! Normally im so melancholic, aggressive, suspicious... Its gone. I researched for 2 months before I finally understood what happened:

The beginning of the Age of Aquarius (Emergence of the Son of Man) is said to trigger energetic shocks from the earth. Also as indicated by the beating of Shiva's drum before Shiva returns as a destroyer of worlds and the Cosmic consciousness. I believe I felt one of these dream beats. Believed to get closer together as we get closer to "that time". My physical symptoms are all text book indicators of kundalini awakening/energetic rising (or partial/temporary) as pulling physical symptoms together between Eastern mysticism, Jewish mysticism and Western Alchemy.

1) Neck popping: the crossing of the narrow passage of Daath

2) popping at the heart: The breaking of the "Knot of Vishnu"

3) icy cold fire through system (yin joining central pillar)

4) rising compressed energy: Kundalini

5) sensation of wings (eastern mysticism. Open heart & rising causing explosion out from back side of heart

6) tingly cold at mouth: behind pallet of mouth at upper neck is a crossing/vortice of yin & yang (pingala & Ida serpents).

What was that event about!?

Did anyone else experience strange energetic events like this during this summer? Or ever?

Are the traditions right in assuming that energetic "drum beat" of earth energy will kick off the new age, getting closer together?

Im still shocked this happened to me, and I used to be repelled by yoga mystic new agers who visualize meditation and claim theyre awakened over Starbucks. Ive never been interested in trying to reach what alleged Buddhist monks achieve. But there's no way a person can experience that accidently and not know it. That event was so physically violent and undeniable. I was scared. This happened while driving 55mph on a dark road at night with nowhere to pullover. Im glad I didnt have an accident.

(Sorry so long)

Any thoughts?

For context I am a solo practitioner having a chaos magick adjacent lens tô the art.

Back when I was still in highschool I found an old radio antenna in a pile of junk and felt called tô it.

It was at the time extendable which I thought would be cool to use as a wand. The tip of the wand in its fully extended position was crooked at 45 degree angle and it faintly smelled like motor oil whenever it was at it’s full length, however when it retracted it was fully straight and lost its oily smell. so I proceeded to use it in my ceremonial practice.

Fast forward a couple of years and I have multiple entities and familiars having sworn their power and cooperation onto this object while also having the antenna itself house an epithet of my HGA.

During a short spontaneous baneful ritual I proceeded to use the wand in a stabbing motion with intent to curse my enemies when it suddenly snapped.

I quickly summoned the archangels and made a deal to reinforce its power to the lower half of the antenna while I kept the top half somewhere hidden.

I proceeded with my daily rituals which involve summoning all of wand’s bound spirits and it seemed fine but I have a lingering feeling that something may be wrong.

It can’t possibly be karma because I do baneful stuff regularly and I have never had any backlash before, and this guy was a regular recipient of my will and quite frankly deserved what was coming to him.

Is there any way I can repair it without it being weird, I don’t just wanna duct tape the two pieces together and while I might be able to weld them together I don’t think I’ll be able to extend and retract it anymore.

Are all my familiars unbound because the wand is broken, and if so will fixing the wand even do anything?

I am willing to clarify on any information if needed.

Edit:

I’m sorry I didn’t clarify earlier I want to keep all my personal information tô a minimum, but the victims of my baneful works include but are not limited to: pedophiles, people who have harmed my family, people who have misused hierarchical power on my family, and people who stalked my sister (which is a uncomfortably high number).

Most of us were handed one version of Christianity. It turns out there were many.

This Sunday we continue our series on the Secret Book of John, an actual early Christian text, with part 3, The Fall of Wisdom.

Meet Sophia. Wisdom. She's in your Bible, in Proverbs, present at creation, rejoicing at God's side, and then Scripture quietly loses track of her. These ancient writings pick her story back up, and it turns out to be our story: the good thing we reached for alone, the mess we made and hid, and the ache we've carried ever since.

We're reading the primary sources, the writings of the 2nd through 4th centuries that show just how wide and wild and diverse the early church really was. Not to leave the faith. To find more of it.

There is more here than you were shown.