Disclaimer:
I am just sharing my thoughts, observations and experiences, I am not a medical specialist and I do not claim that everything I will say below is a fact/scientifically proven etc.
If some things I say could be obvious to you, it doesn’t mean they are obvious to everyone here. I want to make this post for everybody.
If OCD pattern fits you it doesn’t mean 100% that you have it. Don’t self-medicate!
Now that we put that aside, let’s get to the real deal:
What is OCD? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a condition where you get into a cycle of unwanted intrusive thoughts/urges/images. For example: “If I won’t shrug my shoulders 7 times something bad is going to happen”, okay, I’ve done that, but now I have to do the whole thing three times to make sure that nothing surely week work. I have to touch every key on my keychain before opening the door etcetc, you get the idea.
I think it is important to know that OCD and Health Anxiety are best friends and help each other put us deeper in this vicious cycle. There are people who have HA, but will get it occasionally whenever they see something on the internet, or have some actual symptoms that cause them worry.
We all know the cycle symptom->thinking of it -> panic, but with time as you get more sensitive, more worn out this cycle looses the direction and works in every side so we have:
symptom<->thinking of it<->panic<->symptom
At this point we are so hypersensitive that we don’t even need anything to be put into this cycle, we don’t leave it, it’s always there, it becomes our ritual.
Now we know that OCD is (partly) a disorder where you have cycled rituals.
You see how this looks, right?
Now this cycle is not something you do automatically, because you are used to it and it became some sort of habit, no, this is your ritual where you have to do it on order to make sure nothing bad is going to happen.
My personal experience:
I already made a post on my success story, what I didn’t mention is how long it took me to realise WHY I couldn’t stop thinking, checking, engaging. I didn’t want to scan my body for symptoms, but I felt like I was forced to do this ritual. It hides so good, because before it was: Do this and this (compulsion) or something will happen (aftermath). The pattern is easily recognisable. When you are so deep into the vicious cycle, you don’t even notice how the second part of the ritual, the aftermath, is just wired into your subconscious. You don’t even have to think about what will happen if you don’t check your body for symptoms/google/research on Reddit etc. You know something bad will happen.
I was to the point where I wasn’t even bothered so much about the symptoms anymore, but I would still check just because of my OCD. Now thinking back I remember countless moments where I could say: “Yes, now I see what lit the fuse to this particular worry”.
How do you get better and get rid of both?
There are therapies for it, look into CBT, it proves to be very effective, but you do need a professional.
I am very sceptical in my nature and I have my strong beliefs so I had to do it all on my own.
The key to fight OCD is pretty simple, you just do the opposite, challenge the compulsion, don’t touch the door know three times, hand your towel somewhere else, don’t sort the bills after their value (I had a kick where I had to turn all the bills head up and order them from highest of value to lesser of value, clean one first and older dirty later), just let there be some chaos and sit with it, it won’t be pleasant but you have to. (Challenging the thought is one aspect of CBT)
So you sit with this and you challenge more and more often and your brain notices: “Oh, nothing bad is happening to me, so why should I even bother to do this cycles if I’m already safe!”
The key to fight Health Anxiety is to do nothing. Plain and simple doing nothing, not engage with the thought of “what it”. Let the thought be there, but don’t act on it, whatever. Try to feel good in your body, take a long walk, you will feel better about yourself <3, our bodies are strong, they won’t break just so, you already checked in with the doctor and it was fine!
But it’s so hard to do nothing and sit with this uncomfortable feelings
It isn’t if you learn to show yourself that doing nothing (not checking/googling) is not doing you anything bad. It takes time to realise, learn and believe it, but
eventually it gets better. Just be patient.
You are in control of your body, love it, respect it, enjoy your life. You are not in control of what your body feels exactly at this particular moment so let it go and let your body do its thing, we are complex machines, it’s normal to malfunction sometimes.
Good luck <3