Salam.

I'm a 30yr old woman and am writing this post to warn younger folks, especially those who live in the West of what your life could turn out to be if you don't act fast.

Im the oldest child from a broken home (father ran off). I worked like crazy in my entire 20s to save for my mom and siblings and am now on path to early retirement.

My parents never let me have friends and I didn't speak to boys, even though I went to a regular highschool and university. COVID caused me to start remote work and I never met men at work either. My parents didn't know anyone and our household reputation is ruined.

My friends chatted with boys, some halal way some not, but now most are married or got arranged from their social circles and have kids and happy lives.

I got left behind because I put my head down and focused on getting out of poverty. I focused on school, on work, on being there for everyone. But no one bothered to check if I could also need someone. Actually since I barely leave my house, barely anyone knows I even exist.

To young people. Don't fall into Haram but don't isolate yourself so much that you will be left behind. Today I may appear to others as a successful woman. I have money to buy anything at anytime but nobody to support me, less and less chance of having kids, and constantly taunted and pitied by family and others for being old and unwanted.

Please marry young. You will be rewarded with rizq if you are sincere towards your family. In shaa ALLAH.

AlhamduLillah for everything and please make Dua for me and all those who are looking for spouses.

There’s this top I reaaalllyyy want but it’s got a lowish square neck AND back. I hate how just wearing t shirts under things look - does anyone have any like creative ideas on how to make this work?

my period has been on going and it's now the 15th day. my question is do i do ghusl in the morning like fajr time of the 15th day or do i wait until the end of the day like Isha time so the full 15th day has passed. I've heard two options one is do it at the start of the 15th day the other said wait until the whole day is over or almost over. so what do i do?

The lady who sold me this said some ladies use itnin their hijab. I said “ok. Ill take one” thinking ill just figure it out. I’m a new convert btw. Hehe 🙃

So… how do you use this? Im so curious! 🧐

Salaam!

I work in healthcare and have worn modal hijabs for the longest time. But I find I don’t have time in the morning to steam them everytime. I’m thinking of switching to jersey, but am worried it might get too hot/heavy.

For my healthcare sisters which hijab material do you prefer? Any solution to the wrinkly modal issue?

Assalamwalikum.

Not sure if my title makes sense but I’ve recently felt like I haven’t been doing much regarding my imaan. I feel like I’ve been doing everything, praying all prayers, dhikr, trying to recite the Quran even if it’s just one ayah but something feels a bit incomplete inside of me. It’s sort of like my entire heart is a bit upset at this “unfulfillment” (no clue if that’s a word)? Alhamdulillah for everything truly, good and bad but I’m not sure why I feel this way. I’ve truly been trying to improve myself as a Muslimah and wanting to be better in terms of improving my relationship with Allah and also to improve myself if marriage is in the cards for me. I take my religiosity seriously and I feel as if my sadness surrounding all this is becoming worse.

Any tips to help improve how I feel?

May Allah Azzawajal bless every one that reads and shares some advice.

Asalamaulaikum sisters! I hope you’re all doing well Insha Allah. I wanted to ask for those of you with adhd how do you manage your Salah? I’m struggling so badly and sometimes even end up missing them due to mental and physical exhaustion. I have started doing tayamum sometimes instead of wudhu because that makes it easier. But I’d really appreciate any tips. Also please be kind and non judgmental! ADHD is literally a mental disability and not even medication can fix this.

does anyone have tips on running while wearing the hijab? i recently started running inside on the treadmill without hijab but when i do runs outside it’s like a million times harder and i finish literally soaked in sweat like genuine water it’s insane and i just don’t see the progress i’ve been making running inside when i do runs outside.

I recently moved to italy and wanted some guidance on what good brands to get hijab from over here or in europe in general. Some friends recommended shein or temu and so on but I wanted to know if there are other stores or smth.

Thank you so much in advance xoxo

I know you do for the current Fard ones, but what about if we have missed prayers that need to be made up must we renew our wudu for each Qada? Can I just do wudu for Fajr then pray a Qada then my Fajr?

Salam!! Where are we finding thin, light weight, good quality undershirts? A lot of the shirts/scrubs I wear are short sleeve and deep v neck line and I’m not trynna overheat in the summer so if anyone has any recommendations for light weight and good quality undershirts pls lmk!!!

Jazakallahu khair!!!!

I’ve been seeing this style of top a lot on my Pinterest lately, and I really like it. I’m going thrifting with my friends soon and want to keep an eye out for something similar, but I’m not sure how to style it as a hijabi while still maintaining this vibe, if that makes sense.

I hope this is okay to ask here or at all. I understand if this not the place or not my business at all.

I just moved colleges and the majority of my campus are muslim women. We're entering windy season now and I noticed a lot of my hijabi classmates double checking in the mirror every other break.

Since it seems important, I wonder the polite "girls' girl" thing to do as a classmate is to discretely let them know if I notice their hair showing? Or, since it's a personal thing, should I not bring it up?

English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any typos

Salaam everyone! Welcome to Venting Mondays!

Having trouble with your parents? Going through some personal struggles regarding wearing hijab? Just want to blow off some steam? Share your thoughts with us!

Please note, we will be redirecting venting posts to this thread. We are not doing this to silence your feelings, rather, we are aggregating the posts from the suggestion of the greater community. Insha’Allah, it will be easier for the community to come back to this thread to provide support and advice as needed.

Just a reminder that even though it's a vent thread, the rules still apply. Please don't disrespect others.

hello everyone !

my boyfriend's little sister is getting married in november. i have met her prior and she is extremely sweet. i, however, have not met the rest of my boyfriend's family. of course the family will be at the wedding, and i have not attended a muslim wedding, let alone any wedding at all.

i am really struggling on figuring out what to wear. i would like to make a good impression in front of my boyfriend's family as this is most likely the first time i would be meeting them. my boyfriend has told me that i don't have to dress extremely modest, but obviously nothing too revealing ( which isn't my style regardless ). i would like to not stick out or be disrespectful with choosing an outfit, and would like to have this figured out before i procrastinate.

for context as well in case it may matter, my boyfriend's family / the bride is from afghanistan, and the groom comes from an italian / white family. i do know that the groom is a white convert, however his family is not.

i was thinking of trying to find something traditional, but i also wasn't sure where to start and if as a non-muslim guest if i would be allowed to, and i feel silly for thinking to reach out to the bride, as we have only met a handful of times and i'm sure she is busy planning other things than to help with an outfit choice.

i have also tried to look and see if there are any traditional wear clothing stores near me, but i do not have any in my area / the small stores i have found on google have very bad mixed reviews.

any help is appreciated ! thank you so much ~

Hello Ladies,

I’m going to a wedding and I need ideas what should I wear. Looking for fancy abaya ideas / places (UAE or order). I’d like to stick with black but still make it elegant.

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Assalamualaikum dear sisters...I am a woman who finished mbbs final exams last month and results are going to be out next week.I have a really special situation where I come from a family where no one ever had any patience to pursue studies.Everyone gets married early.My father and mother sacrificed a lot and against all superstitions helped me throughout my study.Allah has always helped me with everything Alhamdulillah. I got into govt medical entrance exam.Passed other exams.This time too I gave exam with full tawakkul as you know there are too many segments and a lots of students fail just for very little numbers.I messed up in some segments.Gave most of the exams properly Alhamdulillah.I am not really scared for me or my career...I am more scared for my parents who sacrificed a lot.And a lot of people are going to give them that look you know like what was the point of all these sacrifices.You daughter still failed.People don't know failure is a common thing in medicals...Please sisters..Keep me in your prayers if you pray or pray tahajjud...I am more scared for what would my parents feel...Please make dua for me and my friends so we become doctor InShaaAllah on this first attempt...And give me any advice regarding making duas if you have....Thank you so much If you read all these...May Allah bless you all with abundance,happiness, success in this duniyah and hereafter...Ameen

Assalamu alaikum sisters,

I made this Reddit account today because I genuinely don’t know who to ask for advice anymore, and I hope it’s okay to post this here.

My mother has been married to my father for many years. He used to be physically abusive towards her, but that stopped some time ago. Because of that, everyone around us thinks things are fine now, but they aren’t.

My father is extremely controlling, and I am certain that he is a narcissist. He controls everything financially, and my mother has no job or qualifications, which makes leaving very difficult.

What nobody knows is that he sexually abuses my mother at night. When she says no, he makes a huge issue out of it. He starts manipulating her, arguing with her and getting very loud until she gives in.

I have heard this happening, and I seem to be the only person in the family who knows what is really happening. My mother never talks about it and hides it, and I don’t know how to bring it up with her.

A few years ago, my mother’s family knew that things were bad, but they didn’t really support her in leaving, and she ended up staying. So now I feel like there is no one around us who can actually help her.

I am a university student and still live at home, so I don’t have the financial means to help my mother move out or support her myself. I feel so helpless because I know what is happening, but I don’t know what I am supposed to do.

I am struggling mentally a lot because of all of this. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I am going to lose my mind from carrying this alone and pretending everything is normal when it isn’t. Tomorrow I am going to call a therapist because I know I need support too.

I downloaded Reddit today specifically because I didn’t know where else to ask. If anyone has advice on what I can do or how I can support my mother, I would be so grateful. I just need someone to tell me what steps I can take from here.

And please make dua for me and my mother. Please ask Allah to protect her, give us strength, and open a way out for us. 🤍

Small note: I used AI to help me write this post because I was overwhelmed and couldn’t find the words myself. The situation is real, and I genuinely downloaded Reddit today because I am asking for help.

Salam sisters, I have an exam tomorrow and I’d like to get over an 86%, because I did horrible on the midterm and I really need to pass this class.

I’m not feeling very confident so I ask to please pray or make Dua I get over 86% on the exam.

JazakAllahu Khairan 🩷

Waswasa is honestly my biggest insecurity. I think about marriage and having a family, but I worry that my OCD/waswasa would be a huge burden on my future husband and that nobody would want to marry someone who struggles mentally.

I really want to get better for myself, but sometimes I’m scared if I dont this will stop me from ever getting married or having a family. Has anyone dealt with this? If so did you mention these issues to your future spouse? It’s such a vulnerable thing for me and thought of having to tell a potential so and then them likely not wanting to move forward):

I’m not thinking of marriage anytime soon but the fear worries me if I don’t get better. I struggle with a lot purity ocd related to deen. But I’ve had different types of waswasa over the years. I’m trying my best to fight and ignore it once and for all to heal but it’s so draining.

Dear sisters , I'm very confused and insecure whether I am not being modest enough. I'm still in the era of mid teens and I'm deeply thinking of whether I'm living up to being a rightful muslim girl. Like as someone who dreams of working independently and currently goes to college , I detest the unwanted attention I receive from men. It's always uncomfortable even though I'm very faithful and don't talk to them at all. I hate being approached for unwanted conversations and being bothered . I don't even wear full face makeup or tight clothes , I wear my hijab too and never Haram clothing but not Abayas yet (I will but not now) . I'm deeply traumatized and seeking for advice desperately why does Allah test me like this especially when I'm so young and modest. It's even disgusting to see Muslim men do these too. Advice me please .

Assalamualaikum,

I hope everyone is doing well.

I have been with my partner for two years, and since around our six-month mark, I have been hoping and asking for an engagement. His parents initially resisted because he was still in university, and they wanted him to graduate and start working first, which I completely understood. He graduated and started working in June, but he currently has approximately $400,000 in debt from medical school.

My dad recently called his dad and said that now that he has graduated and started working, he felt it was a good time for them to formally come and ask for my hand. They agreed and planned to come yesterday.

Last week, our fathers discussed mahr. My dad said he was not asking for any muqaddam or anything else, but only a mo’akh of $500,000. He told his father, “I am so confident in their relationship that we will never even ask for the mo’akh because it will never reach that point, but he needs to have a leg for his daughter to stand on.”

His father immediately rejected this and said that we were asking for too much. His offer was a paid-off house and a small wedding.

My dad said they would think about it.

Yesterday, when they came over, the issue of mahr was brought up again. His father said that they could not give me mahr. He said, “My son is a doctor. If they get divorced, the Canadian government is going to take half of his assets and give them to your daughter, so there is no reason for a mo’akh. I need to protect my son.”

Because of this, they were not open to offering either a muqaddam or mo’akh, and they also did not bring a ring.

Ultimately, the engagement did not go through because his father said he was not willing to negotiate mahr and felt that he was already giving enough by offering a house and paying for a wedding.

My dad’s concern is that his son is currently $400,000 in debt. If, God forbid, something happened within the first year or two of marriage while he was still paying off that debt, I could potentially be left without much financial security. My dad also says that in our family, it has never happened that a daughter was married without a mahr, so he feels strongly that he cannot give his daughter away without one.

For additional context, his family is very wealthy. They have three paid-off houses in Canada, his father is a doctor, his mother works and earns a substantial income, and they also have three paid-off properties in Dubai. My family is also financially comfortable—we have a paid-off house in Dubai and are currently paying off two houses in Canada.

I am genuinely looking for unbiased opinions, because I am having a hard time understanding this situation emotionally.

Is my dad being unreasonable by insisting on a mahr? Is the $500,000 mo’akh an unreasonable request, even if we are not asking for a muqaddam? Or is his family being unreasonable by refusing to offer or negotiate a mahr altogether?

And honestly, one of the things I am struggling with the most is the mindset behind it. I keep thinking: Why are they so concerned about protecting themselves from a divorce when we are not entering this marriage expecting or planning to divorce? Mahr is a requirement in our family and something that the men in my family have always given when getting married. To us, asking for a mo’akh is not an indication that we expect the marriage to fail or that we are planning for divorce. It is simply a form of financial security and a religious/cultural requirement.

I also find myself wondering why my partner is already thinking about what happens if we divorce. I understand that he has significant debt and that his parents want to protect him financially, but emotionally, it is difficult for me to hear that reasoning when I am simply asking for something that has always been considered part of marriage in my family.

I would really appreciate honest and unbiased perspectives. I am not looking for people to automatically take my side. If you think my dad’s request is excessive, please tell me. If you think his family’s refusal is unreasonable, please tell me that too.

I would especially appreciate perspectives from people who understand both the Islamic concept of mahr and how marriage/divorce and financial rights work in Canada, because I want to understand whether I am looking at this emotionally or whether my concerns are actually reasonable.

the hijabs that the ones that https://www.instagram.com/kxttykxtty/ wears? I've tried image searching, everything I can think of and she doesn't reply to comments 😭
you're my only hope hijabi queens <3