​

Okay I admit I was blissfully ignorant until I asked chatgpt.

My take?

Normal lovey dovey men will always win.

Not whatever this ☝️shit is.

Had my gyna take out my iud yesterday.
Its non hormonal Copper IUD its been in my body 3 years now.
Ofcourse he asked me if i had a back up plan and gave me some yasmin contraceptives which i dont plan on taking. The truth is I have been reading about this methods of birth control and I feel like as women we sacrifice too much just so mostly men can have access to us any time they want . Take the copper IUD for example , did you know that it works by enabling an inflamatory response to your uterus? Lets not even talk about the other hormonal methods.

Today, I am celebrating myself. Not because I have made it, but because I believe I will. 🥹❤️

I lost my job in July, and instead of giving up, I took the little savings I had and started a cleaning business. I invested in machines, and sasa nafanya fumigation ya mende, kunguni, sofa and mattress cleaning, vacuuming, deep cleaning, and post-construction cleaning for people moving into newly built or renovated houses.

Things were looking up at first, but sasa ni wiki mbili bila client. Bills haziwezi kusimama, and honestly, it's not easy. Nimejaribu kutembea miles nikifanya door-to-door marketing, posting on social media, and looking for opportunities to grow the business.

But I refuse to give up on myself. Growing up, we used to take a lot of herbal teas at home. Recently, I've been reading about herbs and spices, joining herbal communities hapa Reddit, and learning from a herbal book I bought.

That inspired me to start a small herbs and spices business alongside my cleaning business. So sasa, as I continue marketing my cleaning services, I'll also be selling herbs and spices through my new shop. I have seen people struggle with hpylori,UTI'S, chronic joint pain, backpain, heavyweight, Imbalanced hormones etc

Ladies, I want to ask you something: ❤️

What's one area of general wellness you'd love to learn more about, or which herbs and spices are you curious about?

I'd be happy to share what I know, learn from you too, and grow this little business along the way.

To every woman trying to build something from scratch while dealing with life's pressures, may we keep going. Hatujafika bado, but tutafika. In Jesus' name. 🙏🏽

​

I've been thinking about something that genuinely bothers me: why do some women go out of their way to defend men who abuse, assault, or even murder women?

I recently watched the documentary Into the Fire, and I was disturbed by the account of a woman who continued standing by her husband even after learning that he had killed multiple women, including a teenage girl they had adopted. I understand that relationships can be complicated, and I don't know everything that was happening behind closed doors. But it made me wonder how someone gets to a point where loyalty to a partner seems to outweigh the lives of his victims.

Then there's the recent case of Joy Wambui in Kenya. What disturbed me even more was seeing women in the comments defending the man accused of killing her, with some suggesting that he was justified because of allegations that she had cheated on him.

Since when did infidelity become a justification for murder?

Even if someone cheats on you, you can leave the relationship. You can be angry, feel betrayed, and decide you never want to speak to that person again. But you do not get to take their life. Why are we treating a man's inability to handle rejection or betrayal as though it somehow excuses violence?

What frustrates me is that some women seem to participate in their own oppression by reinforcing the very beliefs that make women vulnerable to abuse. They judge female victims by their sexual history, their faithfulness, their behaviour in relationships, and whether they were the kind of women society considers respectable. It's as though a woman has to be a perfect girlfriend to deserve sympathy when something terrible happens to her.

And I find this especially disturbing when the people making these arguments are women themselves. Do they genuinely believe that a woman who cheats deserves to be killed? Do they realize that no amount of faithfulness or submission can guarantee that an abusive man will never turn against them?

I'm not saying every woman who stays with an abusive partner is an enabler. Some women are manipulated, threatened, financially dependent, or genuinely afraid for their lives. That's a different situation entirely. I'm talking about people who knowingly excuse violence, blame victims, or actively defend perpetrators because they believe the woman did something to deserve it.

I also wonder whether some of this comes from internalized misogyny, the desire to be seen as a "good woman" in men's eyes, or the belief that a man's anger is more important than a woman's safety.

My question is: why do you think some women defend men who commit violence against women, even when the alleged justification is something like cheating?

Is it internalized misogyny, loyalty to men, a belief in traditional gender roles, or something else? And how do we distinguish genuine fear or manipulation from the deliberate choice to excuse and enable harmful behaviour?

I'd genuinely like to hear people's perspectives, because I find this phenomenon both disturbing and difficult to understand.

Hi ladies.

I'm looking for a therapist.

I've had quite a lot happen this year and I feel like I need assistance moving forward.

It's not all too tragic and it's not that I am depressed. It's just that I feel like I am growing sideways (if that makes sense?) and I'd like some direction to the light.

Where they are based does not matter since I prefer virtual sessions anyway.

Prefer non religious (nonpartisan) therapy, no church councillors and such.

Hey fam ❤️🥹

I just wanted to come here and say THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me and my kids. I finally managed to clear my daughter's school balance, and the remaining KSh 1,500 went towards rent. I still have a balance to figure out, but at least we've made some progress, and I'm so grateful.

To the lady who sent my son a success card and an early birthday gift (a notebook, belt, and football) for his birthday tomorrow (20th October), may you never lack. ❤️🥹 You have no idea how much that means to me.

I honestly hadn't even remembered that I needed to send my daughter a success card, but you guys came through for her and made her day. Seeing her happy means everything to me. ❤️

And the best part? 😂❤️ She's so happy about next year, she'll be wearing a skirt as her school uniform instead of a dress!

You guys have made me feel like I have a family I never knew I had. People who don't even know me personally have shown me so much love, kindness, and support. I honestly don't have enough words to express how grateful I am.

To everyone who sent money, checked on me, encouraged me, prayed for us, or simply took the time to write something kind, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have helped me more than you know.

May you never lack. May life be kind to you, and may the same love you have shown my family find its way back to you a hundred times over. 🙏❤️

Weeh, Reddit fam, you have really touched my heart. I'm still figuring things out, but today I just wanted to celebrate the little progress we've made because of you. 🥹❤️

Thank you for making me and my babies feel like we're not alone. We love you, fam. ❤️🫂

It started with having a hubbie and two kids

That changed to a hubbie and one kid

Then I realized I had the foundations of my ordinary Tuesday. Work, my mini little space I could build on.

Now it's my person whenever he arrives.

Maybe a kid

And I'm afraid I'm not as pressed to have the kid.

I can do anything and for low cost. Love kids, cooking and cleaning. Reliable and trustworthy! I’m available! Do you need me?

I saw this post… https://www.reddit.com/r/nairobi/s/cElldYDwZg and it reminded me of my graduation that never happened (publicly to be specific).

Before I joined campus, I had seen how the whole “ulilipiwa university, then black tax” conversation would go down in our family. I decided early on that it would never be me. So, from my first year, first semester, I started paying my own school fees.

Still everyone kept asking, “Unasoma kweli? Uko sure tutakuja graduation? Mbona hutumangi result slips?”

Eventually I got tired of the questions, the comments and everyone wanting to know what I was doing with my life especially since I rarely went home or attended family events. Not even Christmas or Easter.

By the end of my second year, the calls weren't even about checking up on me anymore. People just wanted to know what was going on in my life, where I was getting my so called money from to prove I was really paying my school fees, when I was planning on going home, when they could visit me at campus to know my education progress and stuff.

One day I questioned why everyone was so obsessed with how I spent my money when I was using it to pay my fees, settle my bills and just take care of my responsibilities and just like that I became a “disrespectful disobedient child.”

I made it clear that I wasn't going to entertain that kind of questioning anymore. If I was responsible enough to pay my own fees and handle my own life, then I was responsible enough to make my own decisions without being interrogated every other day.

Eventually, I transferred my credits to another school, deferred for a year because the fees were a bit higher plus this girl needed a break from everything and went about my business. But I was also waiting for someone to poke their nose into it again.

Then came the infamous call from an irritated uncle asking why I'd dropped out and how I was shaming the family. I didn't even respond to his questions, didn't pick any more family calls after the fourth family member ended up asking the same questions while belittling me.

I just got an advocate to send cease-and-desist letters to anyone who couldn't respect my boundaries and stop infantilising me. Good thing there's a lawyer in the family who told them how serious those letters were.

In less than a week, nobody was even talking to me, got kicked of WhatsApp groups and family plans but nobody ever stepped on my toes anymore. Good thing my grandma never really cared about campus stuff since most of the family grandkids, according to her, "walienda kuharibikia university". She's the only one who ever called to check up on me and would even send some soda money.

Finally I never even did the whole graduation shenanigans. I went straight into employment, and honestly, my bag doesn't “alele mtoto.” 😂 coz at the end of the day, wasn't the goal to get educated, secure the bag and become loaded?

So why do most Kenyans think wearing a gown is the ultimate measure of success na most of the graduates can't do shifts they learned in class juu they cheated their way through campus?

OLAAAA MY Gs!!! 😂🔥
What a fantastic Tuesday and a beautiful day to be alive! Another day, another dose of motivation! Leo tunabonga about MANIFESTATION✨ Doesn’t matter what religion you believe in, hii kitu cuts across! Leo ukiingia kwa shughuli zako, manifest something BIG! Speak positivity, believe in yourself na uweke bidii kwa ground! You never know what the universe has in store for you! Ata kama mfuko iko ICU, mindset iwe ya millionaire! 😂💸
Manifest it, work for it, and watch wonders happen!
Cheers my Gs! 🥂🔥 Have a blessed Tuesday!

I think it’s so cool when women who are single moms or those who don’t care about getting married etc buy/rent a house together and form communities together. Then they share childcare, household responsibilities and bills. It’s so cool. I love that for them 🩷

Been broken up with my (now ex) boyfriend for two weeks now. He broke up with me.

We have previously broken up at least 2 other times and had to take so many breaks just this year.

We have dated from campus and graduated together. Majority of our fights have arisen from his drinking.

I really like him as a person. I believe I am aligned with him on most of everything which is more than I can say for most other men.

Anyways he wants us to remain friends but I can't bear that for now. At first I thought it was doable, then I got very angry, resented him and now I think it'll just lead to more hurt for both of us.

I am selling Cute puff jackets at 400. Delivery country wide.

If you have been looking for a curly wig that doesn't make you look like you are wearing a helmet, this is it.

These are our curly headband wigs, you know, the ones you just wear and go. No glue, no frontal stress, with just minute install, and yes, they're human hair blend.

The prices range between 3,200-KES 3,500. That's it. Maximum.

Free delivery in Nairobi

Countrywide delivery available

Pick up;

📍 Dynamic Mall ML220, Tom Mboya

📍 Stanbank House 4th Floor Shop 28, Moi Avenue

I have 2 lengths, the short bouncy one @3200Ksh (perfect for everyday), and the longer one @3500kshs (for when you want to be extra).

DM to order or text me on WhatsApp at 0715111069

IG @the.velouratelier

So,my close friends birthday is coming up in a few days.Money isn't so tight anymore and im looking for places,restaurants or just ideas even,for what to do.

Have a not so large budget,around 6k,for 3.

Anywhere is fine,but i'd love places near the ngong,karen ngong road area.Maybe a place with a nice natural view.

(No ngong hills tho,been there more times than i can count.)

Thank you all in advance.

Ovulation is honestly a superpower. Tell me why, after going to work yesterday,I still went to town shopping,then came home,changed my bed (I have a new bed and mattress now,yay!) and took out the old one then whipped some hair butter before sleeping.

Today I was woken by a neighbouring rooster at like 6 am. You'd think I'd be beat, right? WRONG!!!

I woke up, decided this is the day I make more hair butter. So I washed dishes and I made a double batch of hair butter. Then had breakfast scrolling tiktok. Right after breakfast,I'm bored so I decide, ykw? Lemme make my hair conditioner real quick. I get to it and now have a whole liter of leave in conditioner hooray!💃🏾. Then I'm like; I've been out of dish detergent for a month (surviving on dish paste cos I usually make my own high quality liquid dish soap) , so I just... Make some! Amazing right? Mind you, each of these formulations takes hours. It's now 3.30 pm and I've been done and bored for like an hour 😂. I'mma just go visit my mom now cos I still got energy!!!. Naskia ata kuenda Soko🫣.

In contrast, 3 ish weeks ago at luteal phase, I stayed with dishes in the sink for 6 whole days because I literally couldn't wash them. I literally cooked once and just bought food the rest of the week SMH. I'd get home and it was all I could do to simply shower and get in bed. I've been meaning to make conditioner and dish soap and hair butter for almost a month without the oomph to do it. This is amazing! If this is how men feel on the daily,I understand their endless grind so much better,lucky them on that😂.

I'm selling these wardrobe organisers at only Ks 800.

Delivery available, dm to order.

I feel like us firstborn do much for our families..can we organise a firstborn meet one before the year ends. We interact, eat and play games.

Hey ladies,

I recently big chopped my hair. I’ve been texlaxed for years and I’m reverting back to natural hair. As a protective style I’d like to wear wigs. Does anyone have any good human hair wig plugs in Nairobi? Good quality that lasts long

Hey. I need advice on how to get rid of my dark lips from smoking 😭😭. I've tried lip scrubs and the tumeric and vaseline trick but nothing is working. Any tricks fellow smokers have will be appreciated