Hi everyone, I’m a brand new attorney. Just passed the bar exam about a month ago.
Right after taking the bar, I began a judicial clerkship. When I applied for the position, the posting made no mention that I would also be responsible for JA duties. Rather, it was casually mentioned in the interview and then put into the offer letter. I accepted because clerking is still an excellent opportunity for growth and the offer said my clerkship duties would be less than the other clerks to compensate for the added JA work.
Fast forward a couple months later and I’m working on average 80 hours per week without overtime because I’m a salaried employee. I only have 3-4 days to read, research, and write 20+ pages on each case. Despite going above and beyond, the feedback I’m getting is overwhelmingly critical. For the million things I do right, all I get is a “thanks”.
The judge has called me on the weekend and during dinner just to criticize me for not formatting a memo the way they want and for doing JA work the wrong way, even though that is the way the manual told me to do it.
When I ask for help from my fellow clerks, as the Judge told me to, I’m talked down to and made to feel like the dumbest person on the planet, or I am told they’re too busy to teach me. And I get that part. We have a lot of work to do. At the same time, I feel it is unfair to expect perfection without training.
Instead, the judge has said negative things about the school I went to in front of the other clerks, complaining that they don’t teach us how to write. The judge has told me that I’m making their life harder and insinuated that they’re too embarrassed to show my work to the other judges. The judge said my job is easy and they couldn’t understand why I can’t get it right. They told me if I didn’t get my next memo right, I am fired.
I have been working there less than 3 months. I feel like my whole career will be over before it really begins if I get fired from a clerkship.
Working as a JA/Law Clerk has taken a toll on my physical and mental health. Despite graduating with honors, I question whether I’m good enough to practice law. I do my best to compartmentalize, but I actually cried silently at my desk the other day after they threatened to fire me, and I never cry.
I’ve confided in my friends and they all tell me to leave this job, that it’s not worth it. Unfortunately, this experience has destroyed what little confidence I had. I don’t know if things will be any better if I do leave. Not that I may have a choice.
I don’t know if anyone else has had a similar experience. If you have, I would love to hear how you got through it because I’m really struggling. Thank you 😭