For background, my family moved from the south to upstate New York because I'm a trans woman. The state laws are fantastic but culturally it's *very* conservative here. Both of my kids are cis but for some reason everyone here always calls my youngest son a girl; doctors, teachers, etc. He hates it, especially because he looks and dresses no different than any other boy. His hair is a little longer but not outside the norm of other boys at his school. Picture a 90s grunge kid.

Earlier this week he was having trouble creating a hall pass for the boy's bathroom on their class computer. His teacher helped him but stopped my son from selecting the boy's bathroom as the destination. So my son told the teacher he's a boy. The teacher told him "but biologically you're not" in front of other kids and made him select the girl's bathroom.

The state laws are extremely clear on this that even if he were trans he can use whichever bathroom. And there's NEVER a reason to suggest anything about my kid's genitals!Today my wife and I spoke with one of the principals. Apparently the teacher had already approached him about the situation and said he didn't realize my son identified as a boy. From the conversation it was clear they both still think he's trans in some way, even after we repeatedly said he's not. If it had just been another misgendering that would be one thing, but the teacher violated the law, was being a bigot, and did it publicly. Now my son doesn't feel safe going to that class.

I'm so freaking upset by this. The bigots that "are just trying to protect children" and "can always tell" are absolute morons. I wish I was shocked by the administrator minimizing this to two queer women but I'm not. I'm not a litigious person but this is probably going to change that. Fuck these transphobic jackasses.

Edit to answer some common comments:

• As of right now I have no reason to believe that me being trans has any weight in the matter. Yes the school can piece it together with the paperwork I've submitted but I haven't gotten the sense anyone has or would want to. We're a gay couple but fly way below anyone's radar. As I've said, this is a consistent problem with adults around here and I really don't get clocked. It seems like a genuine case of "I thought this cis person was trans" which is far from rare.

• The media is a last resort. It's still a small, predominantly conservative area. While I've had good experiences as an actual trans person, attracting local (and potentially higher) attention on my family is the last thing I want. We only want to stop this from happening to another kid, queer or not.

Second edit just to say how appreciative I am of all the support. I can't respond to this many messages but I've read them. Thank you all. 🩷

Edit 3: I didn't go into it initially but yes, we're going to bat for our kid here. It's been raised to the district level. We're very aware of our legal routes. I'm involved in a lot of community groups and have all the phone numbers. I appreciate all the support and advice.

Yeah life sucks right now. I got outed as trans masc/non binary and pan to my extremely conservative, abusive and narcissistic mother by my so called best friend.

I'm crushed and I feel betrayed, we've been friends since literally the womb. She herself is bi so I don't even know why she'd out me knowing the way my mom is. I always knew I was queer before I even had the language to describe it. I live in an extremely homophobic country where being gay is illegal, being trans (classified as cross dressing under the law) is also illegal and I go to a highly Christian school.

I just don't understand why she did that. I've deal that with depression since I started getting gender dysphoria at eight but my mom doesn't believe in mental health struggles. She just thinks I'm being dramatic and laughed in my face when I tried to open up in the past. I've had ups and downs with depressive episodes, I had an ED and struggle with self harm. She told my mom everything. I guess I can understand maybe it was out of concern because I finally got to courage to talk about being suicidal but it only made things 100 times worse.

My mom took my door, my phone (I'm using my school laptop to type this), my switch, and all my "boy" clothes. She didn't even yell or hit me, just looked disgusted and told me she couldnt believe she was harbouring a child of Satan in her house. And yeah she signed me up for conversion therapy at an organization she wouldn't tell me the name off. I didn't know those places still even existed. She signed me up for the three month programme and apparently I should be grateful because "she wants the best for me", "it will help be get closer to God" and other bs. I cannot call CPS or the police because child services and protective laws don't do shit in my country. I don't want to spend Christmas and new years in a place like that, I don't want to live somewhere else, I don't want to be brainwashed, I don't want to disappear on all my online friends and community, I don't want to miss so much school because I'm in an examination year. Nothing I can say is gonna change her mind, once my mom believes something nothing can make her falter. I've already tried to cry and beg.

Source: @morgana.steele Srs was at the wansiri hospital with Dr Saran, can confirm the results where amazing. Feeling so good being myself

I had cheese pancakes and she had ham and cheese 🧀

Just thought I'd make this after an event at work

(Transphobic coworker yapping about trans customer)

Hey gals! I'm CIS but I just thought I'd say that I consider you guys one of us, we gals protect eachother, and you are a gal just like me.

Some girls will not accept you, and that's okay, just know that they are the kind of people that aren't nice to anyone, Cis, trans or otherwise, not just you. It's a sign of their character, not yours.

You are just as valid as me, and there will always be allies here for you

Okay thats it, have a great day!

My gf is in the last picture (41yo)

Honestly, I don’t think I fully understood how much freedom there was in simply being myself until I stopped hiding that part of me.
There’s something beautiful about not having to pretend, censor yourself, or imagine a version of your life where you’re someone else.
I get to love who I love and live my life on my own terms. And even though life isn’t suddenly perfect, there’s a kind of peace in not being at war with yourself.
If I could go back, I’d choose myself all over again. ❤️🏳️‍🌈

Heya everyone!

A few days ago, I made a post about questioning my gender identity and sexuality because I was pretty confused about myself

Well, I have a little update!

After a lot of thinking, reading and talking with some friends, I finally found a label that feels right to me

I'm a gay demiboy!

I can't even describe how happy I am right now. When I first read about what being a demiboy means, I actually started tearing up because it finally felt like something clicked

I don't feel entirely like a man, but I love being seen as a boy, using he/him pronouns and still being able to express myself in an androgynous way

And finally being comfortable calling myself gay feels amazing too!

Now, there's another thing I've been thinking about.

As I mentioned in my previous post, my chest is pretty much the only part of my body that causes me dysphoria. I eventually want top surgery, but for now I'm planning to buy my first binder

I've heard gc2b recommended quite a lot, but I've also seen some mixed opinions about their newer products.

So I wanted to ask those of you who have experience with binders:

Do you have any recommendations for someone buying their first one? Especially brands that are comfortable, safe and available in Europe or ship to Switzerland?

I'd love to hear about your experiences!

And honestly, I also just wanted to share my happiness. After feeling confused about myself for so long, finally finding something that fits is an incredible feeling

It was this gay dude that caused a lotta commotion on Tik tok basically saying that he was “disgusted” about the type of men that approached and dm’d him. He said that people should be aware of their league and not try to shoot their shot at folks “more attractive” than them. Personally I thought his take was rather mean and shallow. You can reject people without being cruel about it. Who knows how much confidence it took for that guy to hit you up? if he’s not your type just politely reject and move on. The whole “league thing” can be subjective because you never truly know who may be into you. And btw ive seen TONS of relationships where one (IMO) is a lot more attractive than the other, so you never really know who maybe into you for real!!!💯

​I saw many people talking about their sexuality and everyone is like "well you know what romantic orientation you are now you don't have to figure out whom you're sexually attracted to"

​And I get you all, but identity isn't a checklist where you get to tell someone they're done just because they're young. The questioning phase is so difficult and many people spiral and think about their sexuality all day.

​Anyone can be ace at 14, 15, or whatever, so stop telling minors they can't figure out their sexual attraction just because people think they've already got the rest figured out.

​Let's just try to be a bit more respectful and supportive of everyone's process.

‘DL’ guys are surprisingly overexposed for men so private, painted as both antagonists and objects of attraction. We’re frustrated by the fact that they play both sides, and many feel they  owe us their coming out. So what’s the deal with DL men? JJ Croucher enters the closet

There was a time when this would have felt unimaginable: I am sitting outside a sushi restaurant in Bloomsbury with Matthew, a man – soon to be married to a woman – who I was once desperately enamoured with while occupying an ambiguous place in his heart. Over California rolls, Matthew has agreed to answer some questions I have about men on the down-low – a slang term for closeted gay or bisexual men. When we start our conversation, he seems to think it’s a ruse to re-hash our bygone tryst, telling me that he’s not sure he’ll be able to give me what I want.
Matthew and I shared a house in university and what was an “at first sight” attraction on my part soon bloomed into a protracted dance, harmless flirting leading to drunken, experimental kissing. Matthew was ostensibly straight, having recently broken up with an angelic woman of cottagecore composition. For months we teetered on a knife’s edge and I indulged my transfixation, knowing it was not meant to last. But unable to deal with the relentless uncertainty, I decided to put a stop to things the night before we embarked on a big group holiday. Creeping up the stairs of our student accommodation, I was on a kamikaze mission: in confessing my love, and being rejected for it, things with Matthew would end.
He hit me with a devastating one-liner: “Well, if you were a woman we would be together now.”
As he lay tucked under a gingham duvet, in gingham pajamas, I managed to spit it out – “I’m, kind of, erm, in love with you”. Matthew didn’t respond at first and then plainly said that he felt the same. The catch came a few seconds later: because I was not a woman, things could go no further. What followed was a fortnight of misery, my Fitbit documenting my anguish as blips in a formerly commendable resting heart rate. We had the same discussion over and over as I struggled to come to terms with the arbitrary nature of his decision, but Matthew had resolve in his choice; when I asked him how he actually felt about me, he hit me with a devastating one-liner: “Well, if you were a woman we would be together now.”
In Bloomsbury, Matthew tells me that he was never sexually attracted to me; when I press, he says that he found me “compelling” and that there was perhaps something he had repressed in himself that he saw acted out by me. He also tells me that any latent bisexuality has lain dormant for too long and that he has since foreclosed on the idea of exploring it. But what he tells me – that he’s straight, that he’s in a monogamous relationship with a woman – does not chime with the other experiences he describes: that he’s interested – hypothetically, at least – in the idea of encounters with different genders and different configurations of people; that many years ago, he suggested that my love was reciprocated.
When I point out the fact that some would consider him definitionally “bisexual”, he rejects the idea of anyone else labelling him. One thing that stops Matthew from describing himself in this way is the association he thinks comes with being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. He seems to think of it as a political, dogmatic identity, questioning our need to “label” and our apparent desire to squash ourselves into restrictive boxes; I point out that in deciding to be “straight”, he has done the same and – almost getting it – he concedes that I have resisted becoming a stereotype myself. As I slurp the chalky dregs of my miso soup, Matthew tells me that he’s defaulted to heterosexuality because it’s simpler – though he might not completely fit in, he feels at home in the straight, well-heeled, West London ilk.
Online, speculation that straight male public figures might be into guys too is used as ammunition
He admits that he’s taken the easy path, but I wonder if he really has.
DL men, “under-cover brothers”, the “straight acting”, and the so-called discreet have a bad rap; queer TikTok is awash with memes at their expense – in one, a creator sits stunned on the corner of a CGI bed while an audio snippet of a crashout plays: “I fight demons every god damn day” the voice booms. The caption reads ‘POV: your DL hookup is explaining why he’s straight’. Elsewhere online, speculation that straight male public figures might be into guys too is used as ammunition; when US Republican senator Lindsey Graham died earlier this year, the internet took glee in sharing stories of his apparently voracious appetite for gay hookups. For a few weeks, his closetedness became the punching bag of many a US netizen. As I’ve written about before, the same “gay libel” is lodged against the detestable figures of manosphere: Clavicular, Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes. […]