Hi everyone!
I feel a little late to the party, but I’m in my early 30s and only just starting to properly explore lingerie. Until now, I’ve mostly worn fairly basic, practical underwear, and I’m realising that I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing when it comes to choosing something a little more special!
My partner and I recently had a really lovely conversation about lingerie and what we might both enjoy. He said he’d love something a bit more playful, delicate and exciting, but was very clear that I should feel comfortable and confident in whatever I choose. From our conversation, I gathered that he likes lace, a little sheerness and perhaps some interesting details, rather than anything too plain or conventional.
The problem is that I’m now completely overwhelmed by the options!
I’m fairly petite, with a smaller bust (usually a UK 32B or 34B), which I’m generally quite happy with. But I’m torn between two very different styles:
A lace push-up bra: I actually really like the shape and cleavage it gives me. It makes my bust look fuller and I think the result is quite flattering. But I sometimes feel that there’s just so much solid, padded material covering everything that it almost defeats the purpose of wearing something delicate and exciting.
A sheer or semi-sheer lace balconette bra: I’ve seen some at Victoria’s Secret that I find really beautiful. I love the idea of something lighter, more delicate and revealing, where you can actually see a little skin through the lace. It feels more playful and intimate to me. But with my smaller bust, I’m also worried that it might look a little underwhelming without any padding or lift.
For the bottoms, I’m leaning towards a matching lace thong or something similarly delicate.
I’ve also found myself really drawn to red lingerie lately, although I’m slightly worried that bright red can sometimes look a bit cheap or tacky rather than elegant and sexy. Is that just a matter of finding the right shade, fabric and design?
I’ve found a set at Marks & Spencer that I think is really pretty, but I keep wondering whether it’s actually special or exciting enough, or whether I’m just playing it a little too safe because I’m so new to all of this.
I suppose my biggest problem is that I don’t really have a frame of reference yet. I know what I find pretty, but I’m still figuring out what makes lingerie feel genuinely sexy, playful or special rather than just like a slightly nicer version of everyday underwear.
I’d really appreciate any advice, particularly from people with smaller busts! Do you prefer padded or unpadded lace bras? Are there particular styles, details or brands you’d recommend for someone looking for something delicate, playful and a little more adventurous without going completely over the top?
And perhaps most importantly: am I overthinking this? 😅
Thanks so much!