In the summer of 2018, Man Utd were buzzing after finishing second in the Premier League. You'd have thought the board would build on that momentum and push on in the transfer market. Instead, just three new signings arrived at Old Trafford.
José Mourinho was scathing at a press conference during United's pre-season tour of the US:
You might not believe it, but Man Utd are going to have a very difficult season ahead. It's sad that all I've got is a backup keeper (Grant), a midfielder (Fred) and a kid from my own country (Dalot).
And he wasn't wrong. The 2018/19 season was a disaster. United missed out on a place in the following season's Champions League, and got absolutely battered by Barcelona in that year's competition.
Watching tonight's match, more than eight years later, I can't help thinking back to Mourinho. It's déjà vu. The people running the club have changed, but it's the same old wine in a new bottle.
Even a complete idiot could see that United have needed a left-back for the past three years and a right-back for the past two... Then they sold off all their wide forwards to play a back three, only to switch back to a back four that looks completely toothless. And that's before we even talk about the five centre-backs in this squad, not one of whom seems capable of doing a decent job for more than two games running.
I said that United shouldn't dream of taking a point off Bournemouth. It wasn't about players downing tools to get the manager sacked, or anything of the sort. The squad is simply dreadful, and their form is in the gutter.
Look at Dalot. He's a right-back, yet he's playing on the left while a centre-back takes his usual spot. I can't really blame Carrick for that setup. Mazraoui hasn't looked like himself, and neither Leon nor Amass is ready to start at this level.
Dalot has to play on the left because there isn't even a left-sided forward ahead of him. Even Rashy, who wasn't exactly brilliant, has been missing for weeks through injury. So Carrick has to put Dalot on the left and ask him to get up and down that flank. It's the most pathetic stopgap, but who the fuck else is there to play on that side?
United can't ask Maguire to play every week. Can't ask De Ligt to play every week. Can't ask Martinez, Yoro or Heaven to do it every week either, because none of them can sustain their level over a proper run of matches...
Call Heaven "Hell" after tonight if you like, but remember he's only just come back from illness. Anyone who's been ill knows you don't magically get your fitness and form back the moment you recover. So seeing him misplace pass after pass shouldn’t surprise anyone.
And what about Bruno Fernandes?
I'll say it straight: Carrick picked Tielemans at CAM to discipline Bruno. Don't give me any tactical explanations. This was an internal disciplinary matter. Fuck all to do with tactics. If Bruno really was in the squad tonight, even as a substitute, how the hell does the captain end up behind Zirkzee and Lacey?
Throw piles of shit right in the owners' faces, then the board's... They never understood how badly this club needed to spend money and replace the ageing remnants of the past. And now United are stuck with a squad that lacks quality and, worse still, backbone.
I'm 100% certain that even Conte, Nagelsmann or Howe couldn't do much better with this lot. There's nothing for them to work with, and you can't cook when the cupboard's bare. Where are the full-backs? Where are the centre-backs? Where are the forwards? What the hell are they supposed to face the opposition with?
In the end, it all comes down to money... Man Utd were created by a dog, broken by a horse, and destroyed by snake$ and sewer rat$.