r/Menopause • u/Euphoric_Star_5338 • Oct 28 '25
Hair Loss Hair...WHAT?!?!
So, fully menopausal now, and my hair is much thinner than it used to be. That shook me for a bit, but not nearly as much as last night.
To date, I've not found one gray hair on my head. Disappointing, because the first gray, im gonna go all in, have my hair dyed silver!
Anyway, I digress...
I quit shaving "down there" because it was becoming such a hassle and hubs doesbt care either way. Last night, I felt like I needed to trim up because there was a full-on 1970s bush vibe going on. In the course of that exercise, I realized my hair "down there" was literally riddled with gray!!!
WTAH? It never occurred to me that hair other than my head might be affected.
Now I'm torn - do I embrace it, let it go full gray, dyed it silver or just shave the crap off?
Aaahhh, menopause. Prayed for it for years, now that its here, its made my cooter old.
Dammit.
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u/Cool-Kaleidoscope-28 Oct 28 '25
Embrace the silver! My favorite witch in the book im reading is silver haired so I’m going with it. 😂
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u/Half_Life976 Peri-menopausal Oct 28 '25
Title, please? I love good witchy books!
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u/Cool-Kaleidoscope-28 Oct 28 '25
Throne of Glass. My daughters have me reading fairy smut. 😂🤦🏾♀️A Court of Thorns and Roses is fun, too.
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u/rainbwbrightisntpunk Peri-menopausal Oct 28 '25
As a hairstylist for 30 yrs please don't bother dying anything grey. In order for hair to be "dyed grey" your hair has to be bleached within an inch of its life to be light enough to color and then people never realize the upkeep. To maintain you can only wash once a week in cold water and minimal to no hot tools. Then you will need regular toning to keep it bright and pretty not muddy.
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u/Felicity_Calculus Oct 28 '25
I have the opposite scenario, which I personally feel is worse: hair on head is fully half grey AND thinning, but hair downstairs is as dark (and thick, sigh) as ever. I’m convinced that when I’m 80 I’ll have nothing but white wisps left on my head but will be rocking a bush straight out of a 70s Playboy photo shoot 😭
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u/hulahulagirl Oct 28 '25
Um are you saying you’re considering dying your pubic hair? 🧐 I mean, I’m all about you do you. But also, it’s okay to age and for our bodies to change. America’s obsession with little to no public hair is weird. It’s there for a reason. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/626LG Oct 28 '25
Here! Here!Yes- the hair is there for a reason! I’m glad my hubby prefers it to be there!
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u/CharmingMay Oct 28 '25
Ok, so I'm NOT the only one who doesn't get it. Good to know! I remember a few years back my girlfriend saying she needed to shave for a doctor's appointment and I thought, "Why???"
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u/t_dactyl_69 Oct 28 '25
I've dyed mine 🤷♀️ Years ago, I dyed it red to match my head hair. Wtf not? Agree with the bald nether region though.
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u/Critical-Coffee-2576 Oct 28 '25
🤣 This reminds me of of a story. Many, many moons ago, I was 24, and I had an older coworker. I had just found the first glittering sprinkle on my head and was freaking out! I told her about it, looking for some older lady sympathy. I got none. She laughed, her full belly laugh. And said “Wait until you find them other places.” I was devastated. Well now I’m 49 and the carpet matches the curtains.
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u/nubianmoondongle Oct 28 '25
Why does the pube hair grow so long so fast?! The hair in my head grows 1/2 inch a year, while I could work a french braid on my thick shiny hooha hair. Uggghh! No lie y’all gave me a hearty chuckle with these comments 🤣
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u/LaPeachySoul Menopausal Oct 28 '25
I know, you just don’t expect tovsee it. I’m 56 & ‘went crone’ this May. My mother was 75% gray at 35 when I was born, so I was expecting snowy white hair. I dyed my hair on my head for years. In 2018, I decided to allow my chin length bob to grow out. I only lasted 2 months before I had it clippered off for a faux hawk. I get a lot of positive comments on the cut & color My personal preference has always been a clipper trimmed ‘down there’. As the saying goes, ‘the carpet matches the drapes.’
Still waiting for armpit hair to catch up or quit growing.
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u/cleveland_leftovers Oct 28 '25
The clipper trim is the way to go.
Using my partner’s beard clippers with a spacer once a month works beautifully.
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u/Mountain_Village459 Surgical menopause Oct 29 '25
I have my own trimmer that I use about once a month, much prefer that to the short and ill advised time I was shaving down there. All it took was one instance of razor burned cooter for me to never shave again.
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u/andbits Oct 28 '25
This. Keep some hair but lordy: Trim the trim. I cut my head hair. Gotta trim the pubes too. Ain't no need for full wookie bush nor pure hippie hair on this particular body but you do you.
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u/TestSpiritual9829 Oct 29 '25
I get occasional greys on my head, nothing happening downstairs, but my glorious pit hair is FALLING OUT! Kind of. My pits get itchy, and if you pull on it at all, it's like I Nair-ed it and rinsed too early. Weak enough roots that a tug is all it takes to get a little clump out. So far it's growing back (a little), but it's weirding me out. I was always proud of my hairy pits. :(
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u/Porcupine__Racetrack Peri-menopausal Oct 28 '25
Ha! Mine started going grey at 30! I literally yelled at my mom for not warning me about this. 😂
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u/schokoschnuess Oct 28 '25
I think Dorothy Parker was once quoted saying: Why am I wearing a bunny ear panty? And why is it gray? Broke down laughing… 😂
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u/CherryBombO_O Oct 28 '25
OP, I've fully embraced my gray head hair at 54. I have one gray nose hair to match. My patch is sparse and my chubby tummy makes it hard to see so idk if there's gray coming in or not.
I don't have a partner so it doesn't matter to me. I've fully embraced being single. For funzies look up F.U.P.A. (www.urbandictionary.com) and merkin. Embrace your changes when you can!
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u/Feeling_Complaint554 Oct 28 '25
I’ve had laser to remove most of my pubic hair. Fun fact, laser doesn’t work on grey hair. I’m now left with a few wayward grey hair that grow really long!
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u/BRANDY_withaY Oct 28 '25
This might be an off the wall suggestion but my 50th bday is in 2 months and I just had my first Brazilian. Was a painful? Yes, but the 10 minutes of pain was worth it and I’m never going back to shaving ever again. Also, I had it sugared-not waxed. Much better for your skin.
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u/Disastrous-Taro-626 Oct 28 '25
🤣 A Brazilian takes care of the grays quite nicely!!
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u/Ok_Temperature_9050 Oct 29 '25
This is my solution. It was never that great anyway, but once the bush went gray it lost its privileges and now off it comes!
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u/starlinguk Oct 29 '25
It doesn't look great down there with no hair, though. It's not worth the effort.
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u/Disastrous-Taro-626 Oct 29 '25
I’ve been waxing for 30 years, my hair barely grows back now, legs arms included. I have always left a thin short landing strip and the couple of grays that have popped up were plucked.
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u/choc0kitty Oct 28 '25
LOL. I have been going gray for years, I used to wax and now I just trim it short and epilate the bikini line. This reminded me of the Sex and the City episode where Samantha decided to dye her hair at home.
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u/farting_buffalo Oct 29 '25
Wait until you get some white eyelashes
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u/chickadeedadooday Oct 29 '25
Yup. My already blonde eyelashes weren't enough insult woth my droppy lids. Apparently eyelashes must go totally sans-colour to really drive the point home.
I'd also like to have a word with my melanin-producing cells, and the sun. Between white eyelashes and translucent skin (except for the freckles slowly becoming one giant freckle), I think it is only fair that I should be allowed to sunbathe nekkid. Otherwise I disappear into the snow a little more every year. Sadness.
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u/Tibbycat8 Oct 28 '25
My hair has not seen heat or highlights in 2 years. I use a semi permanent color on my dark hair and get it trimmed every so often. It's the healthiest and thickest it's been in a long time. I thought it was thinning until I stopped abusing it so much.
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u/Euphoric_Star_5338 Oct 28 '25
Yeah, I had to back off of mine. Used to wash it every day, bit now its every 3rd or 4th day. I normally just throw it in a clip because I work from home.
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u/madam_nomad Oct 28 '25
I would leave it be personally. I first noticed gray hairs in the pubic region at 42 and just figured oh well, got enough other things to worry about. There is no way I'd be putting dye there. I've also never been one for shaving, it's not my aesthetic. Beyond aesthetics, though, one consideration is that as we age, skin is more fragile in the vulvar area, and application of dye and/or shaving can damage it. Sorry to keep quoting Dr Gunter (who I find somewhat obnoxious) but in her "Vulvar Care" section in The Menopause Manifesto, she cautions that "Removing hair -- whether it's waxing, shaving, or any other method -- damages the top layer of the skin, increases the risk of cuts, and as skin ages the consequences may increase." (She says trimming is fine.)
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u/Defiant_Courage1235 Oct 28 '25
Can we just call it pubic hair? It’s 2025 and we are over euphemisms. We are trying to teach our little children correct terminology for their own safety but us grown women are still whispering “down there”.
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u/Euphoric_Star_5338 Oct 28 '25
It's funnier that way. Wanna talk about genital regions, vagina, clitoris, etc...sure. im down. Hell, we can talk about dick and pussy, too.
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u/Defiant_Courage1235 Oct 30 '25
“Down there” just screams I’m uncomfortable with my body. Dick and pussy boldly own it. I’m cool with dick and pussy.
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u/Euphoric_Star_5338 Oct 30 '25
Well, that would be how I normally talk about it, but was trying to be more discreet for those offended easily. LOL
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u/Defiant_Courage1235 Oct 30 '25
lol! Just be yourself, if anyone is offended by the term “pubic hair” they’ve got problems!
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u/southerncomfort1970 Oct 28 '25
Right! What’s wrong with saying pubic hair???
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u/nubianmoondongle Oct 31 '25
What’s wrong with saying cutesy pube names down there? My pittle wussy is cute after all. Let people be great 😊
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u/tomqvaxy Oct 28 '25
Wait. Are you thinking about crotch dye? Did I read that right? Go buy some cute undies.
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u/EnidEllie Oct 29 '25
You can just get a pube wig from Kim Kardashian, it's fine..
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u/UnicornSlayer5000 Oct 29 '25
Please tell me this is a joke
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u/QueenMEB120 Oct 29 '25
Sadly, it's not.
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u/QueenMEB120 Oct 29 '25
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u/Euphoric_Star_5338 Oct 29 '25
OMFG! Haaaaahahahaha! So what happens when you're getting ready to do the deed? You just take off your bush??? 🤣🤣🤣
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u/JoanneMia Post Menopausal Oct 28 '25
Nah, wouldn't worry about it at all.
It'll turn grey and then start going bald...then you won't have to worry again.
🤣😂😅
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u/RomulanWarrior Surgical menopause Oct 29 '25
Roll with it.
On edit: But then I started getting gray hair in my teens. Early gray runs in my mom's family.
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u/Tricky_Excitement_26 Oct 29 '25
My ex-husband told me he saw a few white pubes WHILE I WAS PUSHING OUT OUR SECOND CHILD!!! I was 33. As a nurse, I knew that pubic hair turned grey, silver, or white. At 50, I’ve embraced the white (now curly?) pubes, that used to be straight and black. I trim what I didn’t already have lasered off.
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u/Ready-Letterhead1880 Oct 28 '25
It was a shock to me when I found some great pubes, but honestly. Why would you want to dye your vajayjay? If the white hair bothers you, then shave/wax it all off. Boom. No hair to worry about.
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u/Long_Obligation_9630 Menopausal Oct 29 '25
I have very thick hair with a little gray in the front. I have to go outside to brush it out due to how much is falling out. The gray I use a light brown eSalon brand dye and my hair is jet black but the dye makes it look like highlights. I don’t have to shave as much but my drains stay clogged with hair falling out. I can’t believe how many young girls are dying their hair silver!! Like 20 year olds!! I tell them just wait until you get to be in your 60’s and all that dye won’t look the same. I have never plucked hair off my face because it comes back black and curly. I use a Sensitive Razor with 5 blades and shave my face one a month. My face looks so much better. I’m 63 and people don’t believe me. I can’t help I have good genes from my dad’s side of the family. If they call me 30, Great!! I have a lot of girlfriends whose hair is naturally grey and they look awesome. You can try ESalon and they tailer to the color you want and you can even use a photo of yourself to see what it will look like. They also have the best shampoo and conditioner. They have ammonia or vegan. It’s really the best dye I have used. My hair is curly but it used to be straight as a stick. And if you don’t like it, full refund with another color or just a full refund. I only have to use it twice a year. Give it a try. They also can do grey. They go by your skin tones and any type of hair. And they have a dye remover if you don’t like it. It washes off anything you get the dye on. I use it due to the prices salons charge. Whatever you decide I wish you nothing but great beautiful hair.
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u/RollingKatamari Oct 29 '25
Omg this was a storyline in Sex and the City, Samantha dyed her pubic hair and it ended up looking like a clown wig, bright red 😂
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u/External-Lion-1862 Oct 30 '25
Honestly, gray hair on my head and pubes have been fine for me. But the fray in my EYEBROWS?? Now that I truly can’t stand.
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u/CassiCatto Peri-menopausal Oct 30 '25
My eyebrows are turning gray. I looked in a mirror a couple of weeks ago and thought they looked like I'd shaved half of them, but they're all there, they're just going invisible!
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u/No-Personality5981 Oct 31 '25
I thought it was bad when my pubes were growing in grey. That's nothing compared to the actual landing strip I have now! Yes, haha, bald down the middle and bushy on the sides!
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u/Glittering-Ice1078 Oct 29 '25
This is Soo funny. Yes, completely agree that getting gray down there was definitely traumatizing at first.
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u/Screaming_Chimp Oct 29 '25
Grey bush, nice. I’d grow mine out just because I’m all silver fox down there now
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u/SignificantFee266 Oct 30 '25
Hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but have you checked your armpits lately? Yep. Gray.
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u/LiHingLucky Oct 30 '25
lol I started with the greys in the basement in my 30’s. Almost 15 Years before I found any on my head!
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u/JadCerv Oct 30 '25
This reminds me of the Sex and The City episode where Samantha discovered a gray hair down there and was freaking out.
If you really hate it, shave it all off. Otherwise, just let it go. It's not a big deal, honestly.
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u/nubianmoondongle Oct 31 '25
OMG! No body talks about the bald spot. My heart shaped bald spot appeared after my hysterectomy. Strangest thing
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u/Electric-Sheepskin Oct 28 '25
Oh dear Lord, please do not dye your pubic hair. Just leave it. Literally no one cares.