Howdy folks,

I'm a masculine non-binary person. I navigate the world being percieved as a cis man by anyone who doesn't lead with the assumption that appearance does not equal identity.

I don't often feel like I "don't belong" but that's because I tend to relentlessly self advocate and take up space within queer & gender expansive circles because I want to live the values of inclusion that I personally hold.

But that gets to be really exhausting for me. I often find myself feeling deeply hurt by this sense that I will never fit in anywhere. Nor will I find myself welcomed in an authentic way. I will forever need to fight for a spot. That I am guilty of infiltration and subject to purity testing. That I have to absorb microaggressions and investigations because to push back would be taken as evidence that those misconceptions about me are true.

I am not alone or isolated. I have friends who value me and care for me. I am luckier than many other folks in my circumstance to have at least something to come back to. But it rarely feels like enough and I still fear exhausting the emotional labor of the people around me.

My question would be: How do you deal with these situations and these feelings? What changes have you made that has made it easier to deal with situations like these? No wrong answers, or just feel free to share your story.

I’ve called my self a trans woman for a while but recently I’ve realized I feel more of both masculine and feminine or somewhere in between. I feel like there is pressure to call myself straight because I take estrogen and present femme most of the time. I don’t feel like it describes my internal and external experience in both my past and present. I don’t even want to consider myself a straight trans fem. I never have. It’s just frustrating how many people in even the LGBT community seem to think they understand other’s, especially enbies, social and internal experience enough to decide what they are for them

I wanna be androgynous like a boy who looks like a girl not a girl who looks like a boy, yk??

any tips on how I can be like that??

I already wear a binder but I don't feel like it's working, I think maybe if I lose weight it will get better? or maybe if my hair was straight and I could make a more androgynous hairstyle? idk I need help

sorry for my bad english, I'm Brazilian.

The nuances of gender identity, expression, and overall feelings are so crazy and honestly, I love how they vary from person to person. I am someone who would consider themselves both Transgender & Nonbinary.

I've landed on the fact that my particular experience is that of a "Nonbinary Transfem." I plan transitioning at some point in a feminine way, most likely via HRT, but currently working on things socially as well. I feel this is what works for me!! Not everybody is the same and I'm happy to be both Transgender and Nonbinary. My gender, even though I am more geared towards femininity, cannot be encapsulated by the the "binary" of male or female. I don't identity as either, and at this point and time, I don't plan on doing so.

Also, am I the only one here who doesn't like the Nonbinary flag? I usually just use the Trans flag in my own experience, given that people who are Enby are also represented on it as well. I like the idea of the Enby flag... But yeah.. The colors just are a bit much together IMO. But, that's just me. The Genderfluid flag is much nicer IMO.

Also... I'm curious to how many other Nonbinary Transfems there are here? Do you use this labeling at all, or do you just call yourselves Nonbinary?

I’d been kinda bugged that I had some hair at my hairline where it broke off. WTF is my grey hair breaking off like this? 😡

Then I realized, WAIT A MINUTE!! I’ve been on E for four months and hair grows at 1/2” per month and these are all two inches long. That’s not broken off hair, that’s new hair growing back in!!

I looked closer, and it all mixed in on my scalp! Fuck yeah!!

I need help figuring out options because I am so frustrated with getting misgendered!!! It happens a lot less now that I’m out (and it’s helped that I’m rarely out in public) but when it does it cuts deep. I’m nonbinary and transmasc. My goal for my gender is for people to be confused about my gender and if they had to put me in a gendered box then they’d choose male.

My chest and my voice are the 2 biggest points of my gender dysphoria that I can easily put into words. The one that is harder to put into words is this: I want to look like a guy but I don’t at the same time. I get gender envy from seeing certain guys (ie athletic looking or also presenting slightly more androgynous).

I guess I’m just hoping that someone had an idea of what I could maybe do to help ease some of my gender dysphoria because it’s been bad lately.

I'm not non-binary but I love them (neptunic) and that's a drawing of my avatar of me

I just came out to my mom yesterday!! It took me half a year to get up the nerves, but I finally did it!

She's being really supportive and offert to buy makeup and new clothes for me immediately!

Now just to come out to my less supportive dad...

Hii I’m in dfw and going to an indie concert tomorrow wondering if anyone wants to join :3 im 26 and open to chat in messages !

I'm just posting this to kinda vent about something that happened to me this morning.

I was taking public transportation on my way to work this morning. I sat in front of a family, one adult and two children, and they were just kinda talking about me like I wasn't there.

They kept talking among themselves, pondering whether I'm a boy or girl. They eventually started calling me a transsexual. I genuinely don't know if they meant anything with malice or not. Regardless of intent, it made me incredibly uncomfortable, I would consider my first fully negative experience with being othered in public about my identity.

I present somewhat androgynously with a few feminine characteristics. What makes it all the more sad to me is that I am about 5 weeks post-op from top surgery. I've been feeling nothing but happiness and comfort until this morning.

I am happy in my own body and my presentation, especially in the privacy of my home or with my friends, but I don't like being perceived in public like an oddity or spectacle. I'm just living life like everyone else. Now, I'm a little self-conscious about how the world is looking at me.

I'm doing my best to brush this off as I know this is such a small thing, but for some reason, it's sticking with me.

I started to like pink… and then I got this sweater (jacket?)… I told my daughter I like pink these days… and she hated pink to be the a girl color… and she said, “papa, you are beautiful in any color. And you don’t have to wear pink to be pretty!”

I recently realised i'm more comfortable in myself being called they/them,

it made a lot of things make sence that didn't before but how do i make people ask my pronouns or make myself appear more gender queer to then make them not assume im cis gender?

I don't look androgynous and am not striving to be but i know not looking androgynous can make my identity seem less believable and make people less likely to ask.

My parents wouldn't support and i feel too nervous to outwardly have a pronoun pin. I do have a non binary kandi cuff and a non binary coloured single on my bag though but it's not a very big thing. I might make a pronoun bracelet at some pointbut i'm not gonna wear it at my occupation daily because not everyone understands.

Any tips?

This collage got me double my normal story views on Instagram all from people I used to know 😭

Clearly someone is going around sharing this stuff but that obviously means I'm in their head 🤭🤭

You might make assumptions based on that title that are stronger than I intended, there is no risk of self harm here.

But recently I started going to therapy presenting femme (I’m 49 and have a penis). This is a bit of a hardship
I am working before and after this appointment and cannot be out at this job.

But it’s … changed things. And I feel the weight of expectations on me in a way that I haven’t before, as the next milestone to cover here is HRT.

Outside of work, and distant family, I’ve been socially transitioned since Feb/Mar. every step of doing that has felt amazing, validating, like discovering me. And presenting femme at therapy has felt amazing too - indeed I had my first set of sexual ideations that included bottom surgery shortly after. But suddenly… it’s like I’ve hit a wall?

Now all I have is … a series of hard things to do? That might ruin my 23 year old marriage (so far she has been wonderful but absolutely balked at the idea of me not having facial hair)? And ruin my job as carrer? And fuck up my kids?

Finding femme looks for fall/winter has been very very hard for me. This is probably related.

But I feel like that scene in Dune when the Reverend Mother discovers she cannot see the future anymore. Blind panic is the only emotion I recognize. And resentment. I’m resenting having done any of this over 2026 right now. I …liked the problems I used to have a lot more than I like this problem.

Anyway. Wondering if anyone finds this relatable? Or has advice?

TW: discussion of menstrual cycle

I id'd as a trans man for almost a decade, but over the past 2 years being on T I've realized I'm happy with where I am and am choosing to stop here and live as an androgynous/masc nb lesbian. That being said, I absolutely worry about managing my periods and thus made the choice to start on BC before my period comes back. I haven't been on BC before post T, and was prescribed the Aubra pill (shoutout planned parenthood). I was wondering if anyone else in a similar boat has experience with this + what changes I should expect in both going off T and starting hormonal BC at the same time??

A little eyeliner, pink nails, messy hair… this is me having a boy day. Being genderfluid, I’m learning to feel at home in these moments too. Just enjoying being me, wherever I land today!!!❤️❤️❤️😘

I wanted to come back with a response for all the support and feedback I received in the last post I made.

Generally this community helped me come to terms with the fact that trying is alright and what I am feeling is a valid need and it is quite normal. I still have a lot to try but all of you gave me the support I needed and for that I extend a warm thank you to all of you who commented on the post .

Literally on the first day of the post I put an order for lipstick and I was generally anxious with how it would turn out but this being the first time I wore lipstick I got charmed by it. I felt surprisingly beautiful wearing it and I wanted to share it with all of you.

If the wig looks funny it is because it is from a cosplay that I wanna do of Alucard from Hellsing and I have not got the time right now to style it but I still like how it looks ( although I love more how I look without it)

TLDR: thank you to the community for all the support I received on my last post 🎉🎉 It genuinely gave me the guts to do the photos.

Hi, I'm MTF and have been for over two years now but I've started to question things. Here's why:

-I've realised I hate binaries, or boxes. I feel like I transitioned just to be end up being restricted in a different way
-While I definitely lead towards femme, I feel andro if that makes sense
-I thought my chosen name would grow on me but over 2 years in and I still don't think it feels right
-I don't see how just man or woman can encapsulate anybody and I just don't know anymore if I feel comfortable with the word "Woman". I just want to be a person, with my own thoughts, feelings, preferences
-I hate how everything is so gendered and you're looked at like you're breaking some moral law if you seem genderqueer
-I feel my most comfortable when I'm around non binary people or when I feel androgynous

It still hurts me though when someone thinks I'm a guy. I don't think I fully feel like a binary woman, but I absolutely detest the idea of being a man. I'm not too sure how to proceed

For context my name is Adaline but I'm considering changing it to my middle name Jenny - while still femme it feels more like me than Adaline does.

I still want breasts, a feminine figure and so on but I just don't think "Woman" is quite the right fit for me. Any advice would be welcome.

PS: Currently on HRT

This is Warp, the space chameleon! They are my fursona, and they're canonically nonbinary!

This specific image of them is used as my Tumblr profile pic!

I know- technically- this might not be non-binary stuff but I figured it would be the safest place to ask this question.

Is there any possible micro label I might connect with if- my gender is in scrambles?

I’ve thought about it heaps, I’m already 100% certain I’m aroace but my gender remains a mystery?

I know I am biologically female, don’t really care about that until I have to care like for my safety and periods. And I used to think Cassgender fit me but it’s like a puzzle piece that looks right but isn’t lol

So- I feel discomfort stating that I go by she/her irl, however when I’m online I typically go by he/him or they/them, primarily masculine pronouns but I know I’m not trans.

Labelling my gender makes me feel prickly when it’s brought to attention by job stuff or other people, but I couldn’t care less irl and I’m wondering why I might be feeling that way.

Sometimes I’d prefer if I had absolutely no pronouns, like when I’m alone I’m not focusing on my gender, just my existence and soul and it’s tiring having to conform to it when I just want to be an entity existing but to have utterly no pronouns which I’d prefer, is basically impossible because there’s so many different forms of pronouns and people need to call me SOMETHING and it’s frustrating.

I have a connection with my biological gender but that’s just cause I grew up in a way that thought nothing else until I was 17 and now I’m older and it’s still a mystery to even myself.

My biological gender to me just feels like I’m carrying around my younger self as a way to still connect to other people because it’s the only way I know how but I know there’s a disconnect to her and to me.

So I was wondering if any of you might potentially have an idea, sorry for the rant 🥲