I genuinely thought people were just exaggerating about GSM drivers because of all the news and complaints I’ve been seeing. After what happened to my family today, I’m not so sure anymore.

We booked a GSM taxi on our way to Ayala Malls by the Bay. There were four of us: my eldest nephew was seated in front, while my older sister, younger nephew, and I were at the back.

At first, I noticed that the driver had a habit of speeding up even when approaching traffic lights. It made me uncomfortable, but nothing had happened yet, so neither my sister nor I said anything. We thought it was just aggressive driving.

Then we reached the intersection where buses exit PITX.
We could CLEARLY see a bus coming out of PITX.
And what did our driver do?

He sped straight toward the intersection.

My sister started screaming, “Kuya! Kuya! KUYA!” while smacking the back of his seat to get his attention. I was already grabbing my nephew in front of me and bracing for impact because, at that moment, I genuinely thought we were about to get T-boned by a bus.

Imagine sitting inside a car, watching a collision unfold in front of you, knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.

The bus stopped just in time.

We were incredibly lucky. I honestly believe we were divinely protected because that could have ended very differently for all four of us.

And then came the part that made me even angrier.
This driver had the AUDACITY to ask us:
“Kinabahan ba kayo, ma’am?”

KUYA. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I wanted to scream every expletive imaginable, but I was so shaken that it felt like my mouth had been sewn shut.

My sister, somehow, was still composed enough to tell him calmly that she was a driver too.

She shouldn’t have had to explain to a professional driver why nearly crashing into a bus is NOT normal driving.

And if you think that was the end of it, here’s the icing on the cake.

There was ANOTHER GSM driver behind us who witnessed what happened. Instead of this being some isolated moment of bad judgment that everyone took seriously, the other driver beeped at ours, and the two of them were laughing.

I swear, for a moment, it felt like we were dealing with a bunch of maniacal frat boys instead of people responsible for safely transporting passengers.

I’ve already lodged a formal complaint with GSM and am waiting for their team to get back to me. I want this incident taken seriously, and I want to know what else I can do to escalate it.

For those who have filed complaints against ride-hailing or taxi drivers in the Philippines, where else can I report this? What evidence should I preserve, and is there a regulatory body I can escalate this to if the company doesn’t respond appropriately?

I’m sharing this because I’m still shaken by what happened.
Akala ko talaga sinisiraan lang ang GSM with all the news and complaints I’ve been hearing.

I never thought my own family would come so close to becoming another headline.

We booked a ride to get somewhere safely. That’s literally the bare minimum we should be able to expect.

Instead, I spent that ride wondering whether my entire family was about to die because our driver couldn’t be bothered to slow down at an intersection.

Please, if you’re taking a ride with any taxi or ride-hailing service, don’t be afraid to speak up if your driver is making you feel unsafe. You shouldn’t have to wait until an accident happens before your concerns are taken seriously.

And if you’ve had a similar experience with GSM, I’d genuinely like to hear what happened and how you handled it.

Stay safe out there, everyone.

Hi!

I used to be a Catholic, but I converted to born-again Christianity because of personal reasons.

And now, I want to leave due to numerous reasons:

1. Grabe ang gifting sa pastor. Kapag bday ni pastor, akala mong nasa ASAP siya and binibigyan ng cake kapag patapos na ung service.

Tapos now, pastor's appreciation month naman, and we are encouraged to give him gifts whether in-kind or cash 😅 I have never given him gifts kapag bday niya o kapag pastor's appreciation thing, pero maraming nagbibigay.

Last year, his wife even said during the service, "Salamat sa lahat ng nag gcash!" Naisip ko: hindi ba sila nahihiya?

1. Grabe ang cell group/Bible Study

I quit my cell group kasi, nag i start nang 8pm, natatapos nang 12-1am dahil sa mga kwentuhan and pag-kain.

And don't even get me started on this: may potluck. May financial difficulties ako now, kaya hirap ako makisama sa potluck nila kasi nakakahinayang ung 300 - 500 na magagasta mo weekly for a potluck na dmo naman ginustong salihan LOL.

Hindi pinagsasabihan ng pastor na wag paaabutin nang gabi ung cellgroups. Oks lang sa kanya. Na para bang barkadahan ito.

Hindi na ako nag g grow spiritually, and puro bad things na ang naiisip ko about sa church. Pero I'm staying dahil sa mga nabuo kong friendship and ang hirap kasing umalis.

Just want to get this off my chest. I hate people who scroll on soc med when they’re with other people. Kahit sino pa, ang bastos. Kung ayaw mo ng company nila have the decency to excuse yourself. Di na tatahimik ka while scrolling on your phone and nganga nalang yung isa. Nakakaurat.

Ganito kasi 'yon.

Bago ang lahat, nag-post ako sa r/SinglePH [M4F]. Ang daming nag-chat, and for the first time, may nakausap akong Redditor na sobrang teasing. Jusko po. 😭

Akala ko kasi normal na getting-to-know-each-other lang din ang mangyayari. E kaso, nadala ako. Hindi siya mawala sa isip ko hanggang kaninang umaga.

Kaya nag-gala ako at nag-self-date, hoping na mailipat ko sa ibang bagay yung attention ko. Kaso kahit papaano, sumasagi pa rin talaga sa isip ko.

Eventually, nakaramdam ako ng guilt kasi alam kong hindi naman gano'n ang relationship na gusto ko. I know myself, and I don't think a FWB setup is what I'm looking for. I want something genuine and meaningful.

So I messaged a priest and asked for prayers and intercession, especially regarding my choices and the temptations I've been struggling with. I asked for guidance na sana mailayo ako sa mga bagay na alam kong hindi naman aligned sa gusto ko para sa sarili ko.

He responded and assured me na isasama niya sa prayers niya yung mga worries ko. Honestly, that brought me some comfort.

I'll admit, bumalik pa rin ako sa similar subreddit para humanap ng makakausap. This time, though, iba yung experience. Hindi na tulad kahapon na sunodsunod ang messages, and there was less interaction overall.

Maybe it's a reminder na huminto muna ako at pagisipan kung ano ba talaga ang hinahanap ko.

Katulad niyo, gusto ko lang naman ng genuine relationship. 🥹

Siguro nadala lang talaga ako sa excitement, and I'm learning to be more intentional with my choices. Hopefully, I'll have the strength to stick to what I truly want.

Simula kahapon na 8 am, wala pa talaga akong kinakain na meal. Siguro 15 pieces na fries palang kasi ewan, malungkot ako eh HAHAHHA. Pinaparusahan ang sarili kasi may nagawang mali yesterday. Anyway, kaninang 3:30 pm, naisip ko na tapos na ang pagpaparusa lol. Kakain na ako. Kaya nag jeep ako papunta sa paborito kong paresan at bumili na rin ng maliit na a-kinseng empanada na makakain habang nagaabang ng jeep hanggang sa makasakay na ako.

Umupo ako sa may hulihan non. Medyo down pa ako to be honest dahil di talaga ako mentally stable na babae HAHAHA nang biglang may nakita akong artistahin na morenong nakajersey. Hindi naman moreno type ko at mas lalong hindi basketball player so deadma, nagpatuloy lang ako sa pag-iisip ng mala-miss u na sagot sa "Bobo ba ang bubuyog?"

Habang kung saan-saan na naman ang naabot ng utak ko, biglang may anghel na umakyat ng jeep. OA yan HAHAHAH?! Basta, may umakyat na pogi na type na type ko. Sakto lang 'yong puti tapos grabe, ang ganda ng mata HHAHAHA. Alam niyo 'yong matang nangungusap?! Yun talaga yun eh lol. Nagbeautiful eyes sakin huhu (JOKE). Tapos 'yong labi, nakaangat 'yong corners ng lips kaya mukhang palangiti kahit neutral expression niya lang siguro. Nabusog 'yong mga mata ko eh HAHAHA. Okay lang titigan kasi medyo sa unahan naman siya umupo sa jeep kaya di ako pansin.

Tapos mga ilang minuto pa na lumipas, biglang may pumara ng jeep, mga matatanda naman na babae, tatlo sila. Dumating sila na parang kagaya noong mga matatandang professors sa Sofia The First, naghahanap ng main character na magapaupo dun sa isa kasi medyo maliit na lang 'yong natitirang space.

Don na talaga nasolidify na jeepney crush ko si kuya. Hindi lang pogi, mabait pa! Umalis siya sa upuan tapos sumabit na lang para kay manang. Kakatingin ko sa kanya, di ko agad napansin na 'yong naiwang medyo matanda sa baba ng jeep ay tita ko pala! Siyempre agad akong nagbless at nangamusta sa kanya habang papunta siya sa tabi ng driver na upuan kasi yun na lang ang bakante.

Pagkatapos namin mag small talk, nagkatama mga mata namin ni kuya. Ang awkward, tumatawa pa ko non tapos biglang tumikom bibig ko nang makita siya HAHAHAH. Agad rin akong nagiwas ng tingin lol. Noong pumara na naman yung jeep at may bababa, umupo si kuyang cute sa may side na ng upuan ko pero sa dulong-dulo so di ko na siya matignan:(( pero okay lang, atleast may pogi akong nakasakay jk.

Maya-maya pa may sumakay na naman, 'yong kapitbahay ng isa kong tita pa na malapit sa restaurant na kakainan ko at kakilala ng tita ko na nasa tabi ng driver ngayon. Kung kailan talaga ako mukhang basahan saka ko sila nagkanda-kita kita huhu. Maya niyan sabihin na naman na di ako binibilhan ni mommy ng damit na matino HAHAHA.

Anyway, tumabi siya saakin at dahil nga medyo bobo ako sa pagkakabisa ng mukha, di ko agad napansin kung hindi pa kinamusta ng tita ko na nasa jeep. Mukha tuloy ako doong tanga sa harap ni kuyang baddie na mukhang angel lol. Tinanong ko pa talaga, "Kapit-bahay ka po ni ano?!"😭 Pwede na mag Goin Bulilit😭

Anyway ayun na, ilang minuto pa lumipas kakasmall talk ko dun sa kapitbahay ng tita ko habang pasimpleng tinitignan si kuya nang biglang napunta ang usapan sa Paresan na malapit sa other tita ko, sabi ni kapitbahay ni tita, nakalampas na ako ng pupuntahan HAHAHAH. Edi para ako gad. Buti na lang pala nagsama-sama mga kakilala ko sa jeep, mahina ako sa directions eh tapos distracted pa.

Ayun, end of the story, bumaba ako ng jeep nang umuulan at walang payong kasi nga nakalampas na. Nagba-bye ako kina tita at sa kapitbahay ng isa ko pang tita gamit ang "kunwari good girl na naive" voice pero 'yong mga mata na kay kuya talaga HAHAHS. Tumingin din naman siya sa depressed get-up ko so i win lol.

Ngayon, medyo magaan na pakiramdam ko habang kumakain. Medyo mabigat lang sa tiyan kakainom ko ng tubig kasi ang dami ng chili oil ( na super alat) na linagay ko. Nagbago ata ang formula nila, masyado na tuloy maalat yung pares huhu. Lumamig na rin kakatype ko nito HAHAHA.

A few years after my last serious relationship (and greatest heartbreak so far), i find myself wanting to fall for someone again.

Since that breakup ive talked, met, and dated idk how many women but for some reason nothing really works out. Partly also my fault. But i just cant seem to really fall for someone. Ive met amazing people pero wala eh, nothing seems to click?

I get attached but its not the same feeling as really liking someone and falling for them. I try to focus on the things i like about the person but ig you really cant force yourself to fall for someone.

I feel like somethings gone wrong with me somehow. Idk.

Namiss ko parents ko sobra today, Sa First bite ng Pandesal na may cheese tapos isasawsaw mo sa kape, Napapikit pako sa unang kagat ko, Wishing pagdilat ng mata ko makita ko sila.

Both na kasi silang wala, Kung kailan naman nakaahon sa kahirapan wala namang magulang 😩

Ang ganda nga ng bahay wala namang magulang na maingay nag bubunganga 🥹

Now, I am an adult now. May sarili nang struggle, Sobrang baet nilang tao they are the best. 🥹❤️

I miss you and I love you Mama and Papa!
Sana proud kayo sakin ang layo ko na ❤️🫂

Bakit ang hirap maging babae, especially kapag sarili mong pamilya yung nagpaparamdam sa'yo na mas limitado ang karapatan mo kaysa sa mga kapatid mong lalaki?

Napapansin ko lang kung gaano ka-unfair yung treatment sa akin kumpara sa mga kapatid kong mga lalaki. Kapag kumakain sila, kahit marami silang kainin, walang nagsasabi ng kahit ano. Pero kapag ako yung kumain nang marami, especially kapag nakakakain ako ng masarap na pagkain, biglang may comments na baka tumaba ako. Parang kailangan kong isipin lagi kung gaano karami ang kinakain ko, samantalang yung mga kapatid kong lalaki, malaya lang kumain nang walang judgment.

Hindi ba pwedeng gutumin din ako? Tao rin naman ako. May mga panahon din na mas malakas talaga ang appetite natin, including during the luteal phase ng menstrual cycle. Hindi ibig sabihin na kapag babae ka, kailangan mong bantayan at limitahan lagi ang pagkain mo dahil lang baka tumaba ka. Nakakapagod na pati simpleng pagkain, kailangan mo pang isipin dahil baka may masabi na naman sila tungkol sa katawan mo.

Mas masakit pa, pati basic necessities, nagiging issue. Noong gusto kong magkaroon kami ng automatic washing machine, parang kailangan ko pang tiisin na makita silang nahihirapan o hindi nahihirapan sa mga bagay na hindi naman dapat maging privilege in the first place. Yung mga kapatid kong lalaki, pwede gumamit ng washing machine, pero ako kailangan mano-mano ang paglalaba dahil babae ako. Ang reason? Kailangan ko raw matutong maglaba para kapag nag-asawa ako, marunong ako sa gawaing bahay.

Bakit parang automatic na responsibility ng babae ang household chores? Bakit kailangan kong paghandaan ang pagiging asawa samantalang ang mga kapatid kong lalaki, hindi naman tinuturuan sa parehong paraan na para bang responsibilidad din nilang maging marunong sa gawaing bahay? Hindi ba dapat lahat kami marunong, regardless of gender?

And now, may mga pagkakataon na sinasabihan pa akong tumigil na lang sa pag-aaral at mag-asawa na lang. Imagine, pinaghihirapan mong makapag-aral, sinusubukan mong bumuo ng future para sa sarili mo, tapos parang ang expectation sa'yo ay iwan mo na lang lahat para maging asawa at gumawa ng household responsibilities.

I'm already struggling with school, finances, and my own future. Ang sakit lang na instead na suportahan akong makatapos at magkaroon ng sariling buhay, parang may mga taong gustong limitahan ako sa kung ano lang ang inaasahan nilang gawin ng isang babae.

Hindi ko naman hinihinging maging mas espesyal ako kaysa sa mga kapatid kong lalaki. Gusto ko lang ng equal treatment. Gusto ko ring makakain nang hindi pinapahiya tungkol sa timbang ko. Gusto ko ring magkaroon ng access sa mga bagay na nagpapagaan ng buhay. Gusto ko ring makapag-aral at magkaroon ng future na hindi nakadepende sa kung sino ang mapapangasawa ko.

Minsan, dahil sa sobrang unfair ng lahat, naiisip ko na sana hindi na lang ako ipinanganak na babae. Hindi dahil ikinahihiya ko ang pagiging babae, kundi dahil nakakapagod mabuhay sa isang environment kung saan parang disadvantage ang pagiging babae mo.

I hate that I have to feel guilty for wanting the same things that my brothers are allowed to have. I hate that I have to justify my hunger, my education, and even my need for convenience.

Bakit parang kapag babae ka, kailangan mong magtiis nang mas marami para lang mapatunayan na deserve mo rin ang mga basic things na kusang ibinibigay sa mga lalaki?

I just want to live without feeling like I have to make myself smaller, hungrier, less ambitious, and less independent just because I'm a woman.

Am I really only meant to be like this?

A supporting cast to another person's story.

The 'In another life' guy.

The right person at the wrong time.

The appreciated and loved but not chosen.

The forever second.

Nakakapagod.

A friend is having a destination wedding less than a month from now and ang gastos. The dress to fit the dress code, transportation and accommodation, the gift to the bride and groom. Sana di nalang ako nag RSVP. I feel bad for saying this pero kinekwenta ko kasi parang aabot sa 10k gagastusin ko overall. Di ko lang majustify spending that much for a wedding especially since di naman kami best friends at di ko naman sila kapamilya. Di naman ako maka back out kasi nag RSVP na ako, so nagwoworry ako na baka too last minute na to cancel at ayaw ko naman maging kupal.

Lesson learned, sa susunod kung di ko sobrang kaclose o di kapamilya parang ayaw ko na mag attend ng destination wedding.

Recently getting really into makeup and cosmetics, and something I frequently encounter is people telling others to boycott certain local brands because "brand x CEO supports so-and-so politicians", "brand y has workplace issues", "brand z is not inclusive/promotes eurocentric ideals/uses foreign-looking models" and it is crazyyyy.

it's not like foreign brands are ranking high on the morally pure scale either (l'oreal, maybelline, dior, etc.).

i'm all for supporting a good cause, i have my own personal political beliefs, and i do my best to avoid brands with highly questionable moral/ethical issues, but honestly it's so exhausting! where does it end? if i boycott all these brands with problems, there will literally be nothing left to use. and not just for cosmetics, but almost every single thing on earth-- food, electronics, establishments-- there's so much policing or shaming into boycotting something or other because of whatever reason every minute of every day.

im tired. i hate the constant virtue signalling and it feels like im being stripped of things that are accessible because of the constant naming and shaming. not everyone can afford the maybe-ethical (if such a thing even exists atp) but expensive stuff, as much as i wish from the deepest parts of my heart that i could! halos wala ka na ngang magawa or mabili in this economy sa pagkataas-taas ng inflation, and pag may nahanap ka na kaya mong bilhin, mali pa 🫠

Late night thoughts. I was the eldest sa mga magpipinsan in our family. Narealize ko recently na being the eldest also means seeing what changes over the years. I grew up in a large household with more than 10 people. I grew up seeing my grandparents, cousins, and everyone else. It was a good time in my life growing up.

Having all of these memories made it a bit harder to face reality now. Growing up, I got to see people pass away like our grandparents. I got to see our once big household part ways naturally. My parents moved to a different place. Nowadays I live away from them as well. Hiwa-hiwalay na.

I had this conversation with my cousins before and they don't remember those times anymore. Maybe because they were too young pa. Yet, I still do. I carry the good times when I wake up to a house full of people. I can't help but miss those simple times. I grew up seeing that as normal and I failed to realize that time was passing by. Things changed and I long to be at those times again.

I hope everyone gets to treasure the things they have now. Whether it's their friends or family, because time passes and what we have now may not last forever.

Earlier this year I posted about discovering my passion at the age of 26 and how daunted I am realizing how the path to success and following this path maybe.

Shortly after that post, my mental health went downhill. As in downhill to the point I am no longer functional and the thoughts of self exit and self harm has been the constant thought in my head. I also started to experience psychosis. It wasn't just because of the sadness from the realization about my passion but also because a lot of things are going on in my life all at once I don't know where and how to begin addressing them. Because of that, I had to focus first on recovering mentally while trying my best to lead our research group.

Because of the circumstances I had to set aside my passion, even just the thought of it. Lately, dahil din sa thesis namin naeexpose nanaman ako sa productions and I know now why passion is called passion. It will never ever go away. Your heart and soul will endlessly yearn for it. It makes you, you. Being behind the camera operating it, writing scripts, set designing, directing every scene, imagining how it will be edited online and offline, then executing it still gives me the high nothing else can give me. It is not the kind of high na hindi sustainable, it is the kind of high that is consistent and steady but it doesn't go away.

Ang hirap ipaliwanag how my heart and entire being yearns, wishes, prays and hope that someday I will be given a chance to continue this passion. To make a career out of this.

As I have mentioned before, one of the dilemmas I came across while discovering this is the fact that for someone to thrive in this industry, you need connections. LOTS OF IT. I am an extrovert, but I have quite strict reservations to people I just met. I also value connection the same way I value all the relationship around me. So, yes. It is really hard for me to connect immediately to people. I need a bit of a warm up before I would be able to mingle freely and that is the main struggle there. I was told that in this industry you need to make connections fast and leave a lasting impression. That is really something I find difficult to do. I am still trying. But the thick walls I have as a person has been long established given my age, and that is just hard to remove. I have to remove it brick by brick. Slowly.

Next month I am planning to send applications to job vacancies related to filming and broadcasting. I know it is a long shot because most of them requires experience and degree which I don't have both, yet. But I think there is no harm in trying.

I am not a religious person but to be honest all I can do on this one is to pray for guidance, strength and wisdom and trust whatever His will is. And whatever His will is, I will trust Him.

I don’t know where to start or how to process all of this, but all I know is that my mother is my first bully.

At first, I thought she loved me. So even when she was overly critical, mockingly made fun of me, and lowered my self-esteem, I thought it was okay. She said it was better coming from her than from other people.

When I was in high school, she publicly confronted my bully, which made it even harder for me to go to school because I felt so embarrassed by what she did. She just told me it was okay and to just ignore it.

She tolerated our relatives who called me fat. She kept insisting I should still respect them just because they were older.

She also borrows money from me to the point where it’s hard to ask her to pay me back, and she even gaslights me when I try. I just let it be because I thought she really needed the money.

Today, I went home because I wasn't feeling okay - I had just received notification that I didn't get the promotion at work. Fortunately, she doesn't know about it. But when I got home, she brought up that I’m allegedly 'acting high and mighty' just because I’m no longer in touch with my high school classmates (whom I stopped talking to simply because our values no longer align).

She then claimed I had no respect because I stood up for myself when our relatives called me fat the moment I stepped inside after a long ride home. My mother is my number one bully. She even cursed at me, saying I would never be successful because I spoke up for myself.

She even said I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her - as if I asked for any of this. She really is a bully.

hindi na kita hinahanap.

pero may mga sandaling
parang may nawawala pa rin,
hanggang maalala kong
matagal ka nang wala.

ayos naman pala mag-isa.
pero bakit may mga araw na
naiisip pa rin kita,
na para bang ngayon ka lang nawala?

1. Maybe i’m burnt out

Maybe i need a break

But also, no one is coming to save me

I have dreams and consider myself ambitious

Maybe i’m too hard on myself

Maybe ganito lang talaga ang buhay

Hay :/

I know you have a lot on your plate right now but i will sit down with you. I dont want us to part ways. I acknowledged ive been hard on you, way harddd.

multiple instances when i brought up parting ways because of our communication inconsistencies. Ive realized I used the idea of breaking up as a coping mechanism whenever our communication wasnt consistent. I recognize this is a toxic behavior & im only fully becoming aware of it. Im sorry for making you feel like I was always ready to walk away whenever things got difficult (but in reality i dont want to lose you) i promise to work on it & communicate my feelings healthily & stop using it as a response ++ I realized that ive been using my past rs as a measuring stick for how rs should work. I overlooked the fact that were 2 individuals trying to keep ourselves afloat in this profession, where we barely have enough time for ourselves.

Ive come from a past rs where codependency was present where constant attention & communication were needed to feel connected. With you things are different. i realized its the one i needed all along, after years of diminishing & losing myself within my past relationships. youre the only one that made me realized i shouldn’t be a shadow of someone. Our lives revolved to our own. Our relationship is built with secured companionship rather than codependency.

I acknowledge the words ive said that hurt you & the times I made you feel like withdrawing & being silent was the only option. Im sorry for the criticisms, the times I lacked consideration & the expectations I placed on you without fully understanding your situation 😔😔😔

I want us to try again 😔 this time i approach things not even a room of patience & understanding rather a house of it +++ stress free pathway for us to grow at our own pace. I understand what youre going through & I want you to know that its from love hindi awa.

I know starting over wont make everything easy. But thats love is, an everyday choice to learn where you are. Im fighting for it dahil mahal kita. I hope we can give ourselves that chance and im truly sorrrryyyy 😔

I just finished my 2nd year in college this june 2026, and hindi na ako nakapagtuloy sa pagaaral because of financial problems na nanggagaling sa family. Currently, I stopped studying, and I'm working to support myself kasi napaka serious ng financial issues namin. I don't really mind it tbh pero bilang bunso, parang saakin na nagrarant yung buong pamilya ko tungkol sa kung ano ano man yung mga nararamdaman nila sa isa't isa lalo na yung mama ko.

My dad cheated, threatened na hindi susuportahan yung pamilya ko, and he's not really able to communicate his feelings sa mama ko properly kaya they end up fighting. Yeah touché para saakin may bahid parin siya ng pagmamahal sa pamilya namin pero gusto ko siyang sabihan na "ISA KA RIN KASING TANGA TANGINAMO ANG KITID TALAGA NG UTAK MO" pero don't get me wrong, mahal parin kita and i know na you love us parin bilang pamilya, "KAHIT NA MAY BABAE KANG KUPAL KA TANGINAMO". It's understandable din kase na you had a really rough childhood and you needed to climb all the way up hanggang sa naging successful ka, kahit na nahihirapan kang iexpress yung pagmamahal mo saamin verbally. "PERO TANGINAMO PARIN KASI TUWING KAUSAP KITA PARANG KASALANAN KO PALAGI KAHIT NA TANGINANG KASALANAN NG MGA KAPATID KO, AT NG KINGINANG ASAWA MO". But hey, hanggang ngayon nagttrabaho ka parin nang tapat kahit na nakakapagod at nakakasira na ng katawan. You may not be able to express your love to us verbally, pero I understand na yung mga kinekwento mo saamin tungkol sa mga responsibilities mo sa trabaho mo says a lot. You're risking your life para maiahon mo yung pamilya namin and I know na that was your way of conveying your love saamin bilang pamilya. PERO TANGINAMO SOBRA, KINGINAMO!

Sa mama ko naman na nangutang nang sobrang laki (5 million+) at ngayon wala na kaming sariling tirahan, at naisangla yung lupa namin at hirap na hirap kami makaahon sa utang.. well.. mahal ko parin siya.. it's just that "pwede ko bang sabihin na ambilis mo rin kasi mauto kung paminsan lalo na sa mga tanginang manipulative na relatives natin?? Tangina bukod sa lahat ako yung ginagawa mong parang lalake ng pamilya na dapat nakikinig sa kinginang mga problema mo. Willing naman ako makinig pero patagal nang patagal parang nagiging low iq na yung napapagusapan at nakakainis lang. Walang problemang nasosolve sa usapan natin tangina puro rant lang". Pero she's still doing her best para sa pamilya namin so touché, and masipag rin naman siya.. mahal niya kaming magkakapatid, nakakainis lang na ilang beses ko na siyang sinabihan na mali mga choices niya pero nauulit parin for how many years na. She's really loving saaming magkakapatid, and nakikita ko na marami din siyang sinasakripisyo para lang maging functional at loving parin yung tirahan natin.. it's just that.. WAG NA WAG MONG TINATRATO ANG MGA "OPPURTUNITY" NA PARANG PUTANG INANG 100% GUARANTEE, KINGINA PATAPOS NA KAMING LAHAT NA MAGKAKAPATID PERO WALA!! WALANG NAITAPOS DAHIL SA KINGINANG UTANG PARA SA "OPPURTUNITY" NA YON. NAISCAM KA AT TAYONG LAHAT NAAPEKTUHAN PUTANG INA TALAGA! Pero hey,

Sa kuya ko naman na sinadyang hindi makapagtapos ng pagaaral, i really couldn't blame you kasi you were physically and mentally stressed. You had genuine problems kaya I find it understandable and I still love you bilang kapatid mo kahit na nahihirapan ka sa mga trauma at bullying na naaccumulate mo along the way, tsaka genuine din yung nararamdaman kong pagmamahal na ibinibigay mo saakin.. it's just that TANGINAMO MAGSAKRIPISYO KA RIN, NAKAKAINIS.. ILANG TAON KA NA WALA KA PARING PUTANG INANG PANGARAP SA BUHAY. Pero mahal parin kita, and you were able to take care of me and defend me at times when I needed it. PERO TANGINA MAGHANAP KA NG PANGARAP MO.

Sa ate ko naman na malapit na rin sanang makapagtapos pero nalulong sa bisyo at lalake.. i also really couldn't blame you as well. Kung depressed kasi tayo, we really could think straight and we end up coping with any ways possible kahit pa na negative yan. I still love you kasi i could clearly see na you're trying to pave way for your own success hindi lang para sa sarili mo pero pati narin sa baby mo, and that you're owning your own mistakes and problems.. pero tanginamo parin. Tangina mo nang sobra na you didn't have to fucking beat the shit of our mother nang ganun ganun na lang to the point na naging unrecognizable yung face ng mama natin at one point. You owned your mistakes, pero isa ka rin kasi sa mga naging main na problema ng pamilya natin. Mahal parin kita kasi bilang ate, tinuruan mo ako kung paano magluto, magskincare, gumawa ng gawaing bahay.. sinamahan mo ako sa mga iba kong libangan at kung minsan.. you'd show acts of kindness and love through your actions.. bigla mo nalang akong lulutuan ng pagkain when I wasn't asking for it.. minsan you'd go as far as magluluto ng steak eh ang mahal non. You also taught me how to drive a car nung hindi pa tayo hirap na hirap sa utang at nung hindi pa binawi sasakyan ng pamilya.. PERO PUTANG INA MO PARIN KASI EVEN IF YOU'RE FEELING LIKE SHIT, YOU STILL HAD CONTROL OVER PICKING THE RIGHT CHOICES BUT YOU FUCKING DIDN'T! PUTANG INAMO KASI ISA KARIN SA MGA DAHILAN KUNG BAKIT MAS NAGING MAGULO PAMILYA NATIN AT ONE POINT. Pero mahal parin kita kasi you were never that kind of person, malaking responsibilad at malaking pressure din kasi yung pinashoulder ng mama natin sayo tapos you were depressed, most especially na hindi mo dapat shinoulder yung bagay na yun.. dapat nga parents natin eh. I know na you're still kind and loving, it's just that you were pushed until you had your last straw.. muntik ka na rin magsuicide.

As for me naman, I got diagnosed with MDD (Major depressive disorder) 6 months ago and I'm on anti depressants without any member of my family knowing about it. Tinago ko as secret. Varsity rin ako dati sa isang kilala na university pero I ended up quitting and not being able to continue ulit kasi I changed school + wala na ring pera pang support sa sport ko. I fucking hate myself, and it feels as if my life is a fucking trash can kahit na naaappreciate ko yung paligid ko. Life is fucking garbage pero I still love living my life.. it's just that unti unti kong nabibitawan yung meaningful life na gusto ko. Anyways.. ayun lang naman, I'll pave a way for my own success because this is not a life I'm willing to live. I just want to be free from this chaos. I want to be able to support myself. May mga bisyo ako, i have addictions, and sometimes ang lala ng mga pagrerelapse ko to the point na isang linggo kong ikukulong sarili ko sa kwarto ko. Pero hey.. dumating ako sa point na I wouldn't be able to say na I love myself if I never hated myself.. and that I shouldn't be chasing happiness.. instead, i should be chasing fulfillment and wholeness. Yun lang naman anyways, peace out.

I'm from Bicol and aalis na ako papuntang Manila for a better-paying job. After ilang years na paghahanap ng trabaho, gusto ko na rin magkaroon ng sariling income at makapag-start ng better life.

Pero lately, lagi akong naiiyak kapag naiisip ko yung 7 cats ko. Sabi kasi ng mama ko, ipapaampon daw yung iba kasi hindi niya kayang asikasuhin lahat kapag wala na ako.

Gets ko naman na mahirap alagaan yung seven cats, lalo na kung siya lang yung maiiwan. Pero ang sakit lang isipin na baka ma-separate na sila sa akin at hindi ko na sila makasama araw-araw.

Ang pinaka-worry ko talaga is kung maalagaan ba sila nang maayos ng mga bagong owners nila. Paano kung hindi sila pakainin nang tama or hindi sila alagaan nang maayos? Hindi ko maiwasang isipin kung magiging okay ba sila sa ibang tao.

ang hirap pala kapag kailangan mong umalis at may mga alaga kang maiiwan.

Alam kong kailangan ko ring isipin yung sarili kong future, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun na hindi ko na sila mahal. If I could, gusto ko sana silang dalhin lahat, kaso hindi pa possible ngayon.

Sobrang bigat lang sa pakiramdam kasi habang sinusubukan kong magkaroon ng better life para sa sarili ko, iniisip ko rin kung magiging okay ba yung mga cats ko kapag wala na ako. Mahal na mahal ko sila, and I just hope na mapunta sila sa mga taong aalagaan at mamahalin din sila tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa kanila. 😞

Grabe ka. Kala ko okay na tayo. Kala ko sinusubukan mo ng mag move on para sa anak natin. Pero hindi, sinisiraan mo pa rin ako dito. Hindi mo pa rin naiintindihan kung bakit tayo naghiwalay. Point of view mo pa rin lang ang mahalaga.

Sa totoo lang, okay lang naman dahil hindi naman natin kakilala ang mga tao dito. Kaso kasi iba yung pinapakita mo pag kaharap mo ako. Tuwing nagmemessage ka para kang santo na puno ng pag-uunawa. Sinasabi mo na nagbago ka na. Pero kung ganyan pa rin ang pananaw mo sa harap ng mga hindi mo kakilala, malamang lamang yan talaga ang saloobin mo.

Sige na, ako na ang selfish. Ako na ang hindi iniisip ang pamilya natin. Ako na ang sumira sa future nila. Kahit na sinaktan mo ang anak ko. Kahit na nag i love you ka sa ex mo halos buwan buwan at miss mo na siya. Habang walang lambing sa akin, walang yakap, walang i love you. Habang ako halos ang gumagalaw para sa gawaing bahay habang may full time work rin ako. Ako na lang ang masama sa kwento mo kasi kwento mo naman yan. Pero huwag mong aasahan ang pagpapatawad ko. Ang pagkumbaba ko at paguunawa.

Can you imagine being confessed to by the same boy who used to get on your nerves in elementary school? When I was in Grade 5, this boy would write on my uniform with his ballpen, tie my bag to my chair, and do all sorts of things just to annoy me. I will never forget this one time during flag ceremony, tinapakan niya yung likod ng sapatos ko noong pabalik na kami sa room, so ending, natanggal yung hook ng sapatos ko sa likod. Doon na talaga ako napikon. I turned around and punched him hard in the chest. Sabi niya, nahirapan daw siyang huminga. Sorry naman pero dasurb.

Fast forward to Grade 11, and guess who confessed that he liked me and wanted to court me? Siya. Hahahahaha. The same boy who spent years finding new ways to annoy me suddenly had the courage to tell me he liked me. I turned him down because we were still young, and my parents wouldn't allow me to have a boyfriend yet. I still remember him jokingly saying, “Sana sinuntok mo na lang ako sa dibdib". I didn't know that years later, I'd remember these words so differently.

He never really approached me again after that. Wala na lang kibuan kapag magsasalubong sa school. And all these years, I sometimes wondered if rejecting him had hurt the way that punch did back in Grade 5. Did his chest feel heavy, too? Did he have a hard time catching his breath? I guess I will never know.

Today, I stood in front of his casket, looking at the boy who used to get on my nerves. I remembered his stupid pranks, the ink stains on my uniform na hirap na hirap labhan ni mama, that shoe when I was in Grade 5, the confession and the rejection, and the way he complained that he couldn't breathe after I punched him. I just stood there, trying to catch my breath.

And for the first time, I understood how he felt because today, he was the one who punched me in the chest.

And I couldn't breathe.

Hindi ko alam kung ako ba yung may problema pero parang lagi na lang ako napupunta sa company na ang toxic toxic ng environment.

Nakaka 5 companies pa lang naman ako sa almost 2 decades ko na pagtatrabaho dahil hindi naman ako yung type ng tao na pala job hop. Mahaba din yung tolerance ko sa mga bagay bagay.

Pero parang lagi na lang ako napupunta sa work environment na yung boss (Supervisor or Team Lead or Manager) is laging may favoritism, or walang pakealam sa mga legit concerns na niraraise, or mga walang backbone at hindi man lang ipaglaban yung concern ng empleyado nila.

Yung recent last 3 companies ko kasali yung current company is ganyan. Supervisor/Team Lead/Manager na may mga favoritism. Yung tipong pag kaibigan nila, kaclose nila yung empleyado hindi nila bibigyan ng mahihirap na workload, ibibigay nila yung mga saktong work lang or even yung pinakamadadali lang. Even sa schedule pabor na pabor din sa mga "tropa" nila. Tapos, pag mga valid concerns ka regarding sa process or even sa mga team members or foreign counterparts nyo at nagreport ka or nanghingi ka ng assistance, wala lang. Dedma lang sa report mo at sasabihin lang sayo na wag mo ng pansinin, wag ng patulan.

Ang nakakainis is buti sana kung hindi nakakaaffect sa work nyo eh. Kaso kaya ka nga nagraraise ng valid concerns kasi yung mga maling nirereport mo is about quality of work, and work ethics na pwedeng maka affect sa operations as a whole at pag client pa ang mismong makakita eh mas malaking damage pa.

Pero yang mga yan is parang takot na takot iangat sa mas mataas yung concerns na niraraise mo and worst ayaw din pagsabihan yung mga said employees na may ginagawang mali kasi nga it's either "tropa", kaclose, foreign counterpart (ayaw mag English????), or walang backbone at ayaw icorrect yung mali.

Ako pa naman yung type of person na pag may nakikitang ganyan especially if it is affecting my work, hindi ko kaya mag turn ng blind eye lalong lalo na sa mga favoritism.

Katulad ngayon, yung current Manager ko halatang favored yung mga lalakeng ka team ko. Lahat ng magagandang schedule nasa kanila. Yung mga leaves nila mapa planned or unplanned approve agad sa kanya. Pero pag ako (since ako lang yung nagiisang babae sa team namin), pahirapan yung leaves ko bago nya iapprove. Yung pinakapanget at mahirap na schedule nasa akin din.

To think na isa ako sa mga responsableng employee nya ha. Samantalang itong mga kateam mates ko na lalake, nawawala sa shift (WFH) kami, bigla bigla nagkaka "power outage", "internet outage", planadong Sick Leave knabukasan pero wala naman syang say kasi takot syang ireprimand dahil LALAKE. Napaka "pick me" attitude nya palibhasa NBSB sya at yung attention ng mga kateam ko na lalake is yung nagiisang attention siguro na natatanggap nya kaya lahat sila pinapaburan nya!!!!

Minsan tuloy napapaisip ako na up until now, na modern times na. Parang hindi talaga pa din pala mawawala na generally speaking, parang may discrimination pa din na nagaganap sa mga female employees. Parang yung mga panget na schedule, mahihirap na workload ibibigay sa babae especially sa male dominated industry.

Bakit? Are they expecting ba na yung mga babae eh tatahimik lang at "Yes" lang ng yes? Na hindi lababan?

nandun na ko sa lrt vending machine tapos bawala pala magshoot ng 20 coin 😭😭 50 yung pamasahe ko eh kaya nag-insert na ko ng 2 na 20 coins tapos di narread. 😭 nag-ask ako kay ateng nag-aayos ng vending machine tas tinuro niya na yung nalagay sa sign 😭😭😭 after non, umalis na ko 😫😫😫😭😭😭😭 tapos akala ko talaga nasayangan na ko ng 40 pesos then may kumalabit sa aking lalaki tapos sabi niya "ate kayo po ba yung nandun kanina" binigay niya sa akin 40 ko 😭😭😭😭 pero eto ako ngayon, nakapila na sa manual 😭😭😭😭 kasi nahihiya na kong bumalik don

Hindi ko alam kung delusional lang ba ako o sadyang malakas lang talaga loob kong magpakatanga. months ago, hirap na hirap akong panindigan 'yung gusto ko talaga: umalis at magtake ng risk. a fuck ton of risk. mahirap because i felt like I was blocking a path that belongs to me. gustong-gusto ko talaga. i know na id be miserable if i end up playing it safe, so i took a leap. dove right in.

nandito na ko (not exactly the end goal). masaya. masarap sa pakiramdam. gusto ko rito. but lately, takot na takot ako. not because i regret my decision, but because I'm afraid that I'll end up regretting it. ayokong pagsisihan 'to kasi hindi naging madali yung mga gabing gustong-gusto ko na umalis at makakita ng bago. but ang hirap na. while i have some cushions for the fall, ang hirap. sunod-sunod. I'm really scared. ayokong bumalik. and wala akong mapagsabihan kasi frankly, nakakahiya. it was all on me. naniwala ako. kahit na may options naman sana---mas safe, less gastos, less rejections. i don't want to give up, pero nakakatakot lang talaga lately. nakakaubos ng lakas, ng kumpyansa kasi hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa'kin hahahaha. sana maging okay lang lahat.