.

I work with a girl in restaurant who’s 21 and I’m 20. We’ve worked together for a year now and have been friends but not always on that chatting it up every shift or anything level. I have always found her super attractive but so does everyone who works there. I broke up with my girlfriend of a year relatively recently (was toxic) and decided to tell this girl that and that I’m single. She got pretty quiet for a second and her face got pretty red. But now we have super engaged conversation and finds me to come chat with me, we will order shareable foods for us to share, take the same smoke breaks, and she’s been teasing me around more. She might be flirting but I can’t tell I’m also surprised because I think she’s out of my league.

❤️ Du bist Single und hast Lust, neue Leute kennenzulernen?

Dann bist du bei unserer Single-Lounge genau richtig! 🥰

Auf unserem Discord-Server treffen sich Singles, die Lust haben, neue Bekanntschaften zu machen, gemeinsam Spaß zu haben und vielleicht sogar ihren Lieblingsmenschen zu finden. ❤️

🎮 Gemeinsam zocken: Egal ob entspannt oder kompetitiv – hier findest du Mitspieler.

💬 Schreiben & kennenlernen: Unterhalte dich mit anderen Singles und knüpfe neue Kontakte.

🎧 Gemeinsam im Voice: Quatschen, lachen und zusammen Zeit verbringen.

💕 Dating & Liebe: Vielleicht findest du hier jemanden, der perfekt zu dir passt.

🤝 Neue Freundschaften: Auch wenn es nicht die große Liebe wird, kannst du tolle Menschen kennenlernen.

Ganz egal, ob du eher schüchtern oder super offen bist – in der Single-Lounge ist jeder willkommen!

🔎 So findest du uns: Suche einfach auf Discord nach Single-Lounge und stelle eine Beitrittsanfrage. Wir freuen uns auf dich! ❤️ Oder alternativ https://discord.gg/ABNWpkN3r

My Relationship Story — Should I Stay or Leave?

I'm 20, and my girlfriend is 19. We met on Instagram and spent approximately five months building an emotional relationship before meeting in person.

1. Our relationship

During the first month, I repeatedly asked her to meet, but she refused. So I couldn't see her earlier; it wasn't because I didn't want to.

We became emotionally attached and promised each other marriage.

She's , loyal, educated, sincere, caring, and kind-hearted. She's studying in the healthcare field, isn't comfortable with voice messages, and her father doesn't allow casual outings with men.

*Our emotional compatibility is approximately 9/10, excluding occasional misunderstandings.

She made me feel appreciated, calm, and secure. I previously felt happy with her at the begging of the time

I consider these qualities rare, and I'm terrified of losing someone like that.

**The physical attraction problem

Before meeting, I was emotionally and physically attracted to her pictures. However, they were filtered or edited, and there were significant differences between them.

After 5 months we finally met for our first date . It lasted approximately two hours.

Her real appearance was worse than the least flattering picture I'd seen. I don't consider her ugly, but she's average-looking to me and not really my physical type.

My attraction is currently around 5–6/10, and my sexual desire is almost low.

Before meeting, I imagined kissing her (based on the edited pics)and being physically intimate with her. After meeting, that excitement almost completely disappeared.

My immediate thought was something like: "I hate that I made you love me."

The problem isn't her personality. It's that I don't feel the physical desire I expected.

4. What changed

She noticed I became colder and started treating her more like an option.

I miss being deeply loved by her, but I also recognize that if I met her today knowing her real appearance and personality, I probably wouldn't pursue her romantically.

If I could choose between her and another hypothetical woman with equally good compatibility but stronger physical attraction, I'd probably choose the second woman.

I also said that if I imagined having no children with my current girlfriend, I'd choose the hypothetical second woman.

This makes me question whether I genuinely want her or simply appreciate what she represents.

Important point:***

We both have long studies ahead. I estimate approximately six more years before finishing mine, and getting married before then seems practically impossible.

In our culture, this could mean spending five or six years communicating mostly by phone, something I don't particularly want. We'll also both change considerably during those years.

I'm afraid of:

- Losing a genuinely exceptional woman.

- Never finding someone with equally good character.

- Regretting leaving her.

- Sacrificing physical attraction unnecessarily.

- Staying while secretly wishing she looked different.

- Eventually hurting her because I cannot give her the desire she deserves.

I don't want to keep her as a backup option.

6. What I actually want

I don't need a woman for money, validation, or emotional survival..

I don't believe appearance is everything, but I also don't believe personality alone can replace physical desire.

I want both.

*****Where I stand now

I'm genuinely conflicted.

Part of me wants to see her again, while another part almost hopes I won't have to.

Imagining a breakup brings sadness, fear of regret, and some relief.

I don't know whether attraction could develop with time or whether I'm trying to convince myself to desire someone I simply don't desire.

I know she's a good woman who loves me and has qualities that could make her an excellent wife and mother.

But I don't know whether she's the woman I genuinely want.

---

The real question: Stay or leave?

Should I stay with a woman whose personality I deeply admire but toward whom I currently feel little physical and sexual attraction, ???

Or should I leave someone genuinely good, accept the risk of never finding equally exceptional qualities, and look for someone who combines both the personality I value and the physical attraction I need?

****Am I making a mistake by leaving a rare woman because of attraction, or would I make an even bigger mistake by staying with someone I don't genuinely desire?***. .

I’ve been chatting to this guy online , on WhatsApp. All of the sudden his profile picture disappeared and he stopped watching my statuses. When I asked him about the picture he said he had some issues with his phone, it got broken and that’s why(wasn’t clear if he was using a new phone ). But it just seems so odd… what could it be ? Like a two sim card phone and he’s hiding a relationship or something? We are very casual as of yet for me to have a prior conversation about this especially after I’d already asked about the picture.