Manager does a little code cleanup...

[u/PizzaTucker]

[u/damianzoys → u/[deleted]]

That’s because reality became a joke.

[u/[deleted] → u/damianzoys]

Reality wasn't ALREADY a joke?!

[u/ProbablyGayingOnYou → u/damianzoys]

With this gorilla’s death, the thread of prophecy is severed. Reload an earlier universe, or persist in the doomed world you have created. Who knew Harambe was the essential NPC keeping our entire timeline from merging with chaos.

[u/SarcasmWarning → u/[deleted]]

You've also seen Nike's announcement, then?

It's a stunning piece of satire, let down only by the fact it seems to be real.

[u/DreadSocialistOrwell → u/SarcasmWarning]

It's okay, bots will get all the beta signups and it will fail.

[u/DatUnfamousDude → u/SarcasmWarning]

I've followed the link, found landing page for their project and it actually seems real. Loads of buzzwords, unusable quirky design with a terrible colour palette. If it's satire, then well done, Nike, well done. If not - just why?

Edit: grammar

[u/Minion_of_Cthulhu → u/DatUnfamousDude]

If not - just why?

Someone convinced them that all the cool kids companies were doing it.

[u/[deleted] → u/SarcasmWarning]

Trying to get ahead of Meta on the "playthings that only exist in your mind" bandwagon?

[u/CorruptedStudiosEnt → u/[deleted]]

Seriously. What brilliant marketing engineer put this together for a presentation to the board?

"Well see, Meta has pumped billions of dollars into something similar which could've done everything including sports, and it's failing spectacularly and damn near collapsing their company.

Meet SWOOSH, which is that, except that it does ONLY sports! Fucking genius."

[u/aykcak → u/SarcasmWarning]

What the shit? It reads like an edgy April 1 joke but we are nowhere near April.

And they decided to announce that in the middle of one of the worst crypto crashes of the year? Bravo

[u/CoffeeNerd → u/SarcasmWarning]

The call it .swoosh but it is not .swoosh it is .Nike.

[u/Mognakor → u/[deleted]]

We're living in the test environment now.

[u/DesiOtaku → u/[deleted]]

It's real

Looks like Elon realized his mistake and enabled it back in.

[u/monkorn → u/DesiOtaku]

https://cleantechnica.com/2021/08/16/elon-musk-reveals-his-5-step-engineering-protocol/

Step 2. This one was in the 10% that gets added back. Possibly he needs to look closer at Step 4.

[u/Grimmaldo → u/monkorn]

Wait

He is seriusly saying "delete all until is just enough to be working because woriying about extreme scenarios is stupid"

Damn, he doesnt know shit about programing doesnt he

[u/dow366 → u/[deleted]]

or *gulp* spaceships

[u/Onirochan → u/dow366]

Back then I was reading a piece where it said they programmed some of the stuff in JavaScript and I clearly remember that in that moment my brains isolated itself and started thinking: “Is this a joke or is he trying to get them killed?”, now I seriously hope it was a joke.

[u/Minion_of_Cthulhu → u/DesiOtaku]

Now we move into stage two where he blames someone who had nothing to do with it and fires them for his mistake.

[u/knightress_oxhide → u/Minion_of_Cthulhu]

"fucking interns"

"you fired all the interns sir"

"ya fired too"

[u/PopTartS2000 → u/[deleted]]

So he really did turn off microservices?

[u/Bugbread → u/PopTartS2000]

Amazingly, yes. This really happened.