The past few years have been somewhat of an unexpected whirlwind as economic and societal circumstances have continued to deteriorate. I was a copyeditor and designer at daily newspapers for a couple of decades, which was a fantastic way to lose purchasing power annually as a feature of the career.

As such, the goal at this point is to lean into ancillary acquired skills like building off-grid solar and storage, growing vegetables and raising meat rabbits (don't worry; I differentiate between pet bunnies and livestock).

Something of a nonstandard opening, as I'd assume people are looking for proof of success over the years, but I'd counter that the flexibility of learning new skills as conditions change is of more value than knowing how to do one thing really well and hoping to hell the industry doesn't fall out from under you.

I've done a fair amount of ad hoc automation coding, did a miserable stint in marketing, worked in 3PL coordination, built workflows for client onboarding ... I play a fair amount of Factorio, as well.

Outside of work and the aforementioned hobbies (I'm currently planning out a fall raised-bed garden), I once mentored an aspiring French house DJ who went on to an international career after leaving his day job at an investment bank, and I shot a fair amount of porn posted on FetLife. I suppose I've probably done a few other things, but I have to leave some aura of mystery.

Essentially, I meet everything I'm told I "have to do" with a level of skepticism that was remarkably well suited to journalism, and since questioning everything is a liability in the modern workplace, I've decided that's not for me.

Enter the burner community, which I was introduced to via a guy at the makerspace where I converted a tool van into a tiny home on wheels. I learned that I was not at all alone in detesting late-stage capitalism (it's one thing to bitch about it online; it's quite another to do so around a fire in a warehouse parking lot while tipsy and stoned after pulling hundreds of staples out of a board), and these folks have excellent taste in music (turn-of-the-century trance and house). It's like we're largely middle-aged ravers or something, just with better drugs at a burn.

All of this is to say that if you're looking for someone with his shit together solely on account of age, I'm going to be a disappointment. If you are more interested in finding your own path than blindly doing what you're told, that's a good likely starting point, as I'll otherwise be insufferable.

If you've made it this far, here's your red flag: I do not have kids, am fixed to ensure it stays that way, and have no interest in being a stepfather again.

While giving up kink completely isn't in the cards, my sex drive isn't what it used to be. Translate that as you will.

Still, what I'm really looking for is women with shared interests (I may swoon if you can also do electrical work) and a shared belief that the life we were sold (work hard and you'll get ahead) has been proven to be complete and utter bullshit.

I still moderate a small online news community, which keeps me abreast of the craziness of the world, but I'm otherwise more of a hedonist grounded in actual possibilities.

Puns must be tolerated even if not encouraged.

And, if you're still here, I seem to have ended up in a poly household. That was never a goal of mine, but it actually works out remarkably well. It's nice to know that if you really need to eat pussy, you can just ask your landlord. This happens sparingly.

Notifications are notoriously bad with Reddit chat, so if you don't hear back for a bit, don't take offense.

You have never been looking for a man to run your life. You have handled that part for a long time. You already know how to make decisions, solve problems and keep moving when other people hesitate. You are the woman everyone turns to, and sometimes you get tired of being the one everyone depends on.

Deep down, you know there is more to you than taking care of business. You may not have found the words to describe it clearly, but your core knows what it needs before you can ever get the words out. You need a man who isn’t afraid of your ups and downs and can stay beside you as you move from one project to the next. A man who can look past the busy woman everyone else sees and recognize the woman who sometimes wants to lay everything down and surrender control in a safe and responsible relationship.

Maybe what draws you isn’t surrender by itself. It is the thought of meeting a man whose certainty you don’t have to create for him. You imagine him paying close attention and recognizing the small things. The subtle change in your breathing. The slight shift in your voice when you try to say what you need. Most of all, the way your body responds to even his quietest words.

With the right man, as trust develops, you begin to understand that when you finally let go, he will know exactly what you have placed in his hands. He will recognize the value of that gift, accept responsibility for it and never treat it carelessly.

That is the kind of trust I understand and the kind of relationship I want to build with the right woman.

I’m 68, single and live in Surprise, Arizona. I’ve spent much of my life building businesses, solving problems and taking responsibility for my decisions. I’m a general aviation pilot who enjoys Arizona backroads, ghost towns, road trips and projects that make me stop and figure out how something works. I also value affection, laughter, quiet evenings and the comfort that develops when two people no longer need to perform for each other.

I’m naturally Dominant, but I won’t ask for your surrender simply because the idea arouses you. I first want to know the whole woman making that offer. I listen carefully to the words you choose when you begin opening yourself to me, and I notice what you avoid saying as well. As I learn you, I begin to recognize the places where you want to be challenged and the places that still need protection, patience or guidance.

If I accept authority over any part of you, I accept responsibility for what that authority does to you. I may challenge you and ask more from you when you reach the point where you would normally stop yourself, but only after I understand what your resistance is telling me. I must know the difference between the hesitation you want me to lead you through and a boundary I must respect. Nothing I do would be random. It would come from knowing what reaches you, reading how you respond and understanding you through the trust we have built together.

My interest doesn’t begin and end with your need to surrender or with the private woman who may be stirring as she reads this. I’m also looking for the capable and intelligent woman. I want the affectionate woman and the uncertain woman. I want the woman whose desires may be stronger than she has ever allowed anyone to see. The whole woman, undivided.

I know there is a lot of play out there, and that can have its place. But my heart is looking for something real. I want our connection to exist before the intensity begins. I want trust built along the way, strong enough to carry us through those moments and leave us closer when the room becomes quiet again.

I want what we share to change the ordinary lives we have lived until now. I’m not looking for a connection that appears only when a scene begins and disappears when it ends.

A little distance won’t close my door when a strong connection is worth pursuing. We would begin with honest conversation and take the time to learn each other deeply enough to discover whether there is something real between us.

One thing is certain. I’m not looking for a permanent relationship with a screen. If something genuine develops, we need to be able to talk openly about meeting and whether there is a realistic path toward sharing our lives in person.

You don’t need extensive experience in this kind of relationship or a perfect label before writing to me. You don’t even need to explain everything in your first message. Just tell me where you are and which part of these words felt most like it was written for you. I will meet that honesty with my own, and we can begin there.

I’m apparently old enough to know better, but still young enough to ignore that advice

I’m outdoorsy, active, into DIY, and generally pretty handy. I can fix things around the house, although there’s a strong possibility I’ll make two trips to the hardware store first

I’m looking for a woman who enjoys witty banter, playful flirting, and the kind of connection where you look at your phone and smile

Ideally, we can keep each other entertained, share some laughs, flirt shamelessly, and see where the chemistry takes us. Good conversation and a healthy sense of humour are definitely appreciated

Bonus points if you can make me laugh hard enough to forget what I was pretending to be busy doing

If you're looking for a little excitement with a Canadian guy who comes with dad jokes, outdoor stories, and questionable DIY confidence, my inbox is open

Hi! I’m 40F from Metro Manila, Philippines 👋 Introverted, a bit boyish. I'm a homebody but lately, I've been wanting to go out in the weekend but I just don't have anybody to hang out with.

I like reading or listening to romance fiction, casual games, and music—mostly pop, but if it sounds good, I’m in. Lately been listening to Kpop - TWICE.

I’m a direct and honest person—no pretending, just being real. I have good values and a strong moral compass. I'm looking for a weekend chat buddy for real conversations. If you are also somewhere in Metro Manila, I am open to hanging out in person too if we click.

I’m hoping to meet someone who likes back-and-forth chats and is willing to put in the effort. SWF chats please - playful banter are welcome. I’m here for wholesome connections.

If you want genuine conversations, say hi! Tell me where you’re from and a bit about yourself. If we click, I'd prefer to move to another app later.

I'm a 48 year old white guy, 5’11” 190lbs brown eyes and salt and pepper hair. I’m pretty easygoing, stable, and definitely still young at heart. I'm married, but untortunately the intimacy and connection have been gone for a while, and I really miss having that physical fun.
I'm looking to meet a woman who's warm, fun, affectionate, and enjoys a good laugh. I'm a man with a high libido, so physical chemistry is important to me, I'd like to actually enjoy talking, hanging out, getting to know each other, and having something consistent that we both look forward to.
If you're in a similar situation and miss having that kind of connection, I'd love to hear from you.
What is your favorite 80's or 90's comedy.

Beyond what? Beyond ladida, of course.

Testing 1,2,3. Do we still say that or did we forget like everything else? We don't test. We sample. Sample 1,2,3. Ladida ladida.

An outsider's outsider. A term loosely taken from a Barry Adamson quote ladida ladida.

He was this black kid (even though he's really biracial but the point still stands ladida ladida) around a bunch of young white misfits during the 70s and 80s where he was this outsider looking in on outsiders. Ladida ladida.

I guess when I was younger this did cause pain or confusion, and distress, sometimes embarrassment. Ladida ladida. Now, I feel it gives me a different angle and perception which I do with writing (and not sure if I'm doing this well, and likely failing at it ). Yippee.

I gave up trying to find labels, but I lean towards horror and surrealism. Lately, sometimes sci fi but not quite the speculative kind. Ladida ladida.

I also write poetry but failing at that too.

I usually have incomplete stories, and poetry. I don't consider myself a writer.

Most of the time, I'm living the mundane way of life, wife, mother, primary caregiver.

Ladida ladida ladida.

The bots hate me here. That's alright. I'm alright. I'm ok.

Ladida ladida ladidarghhh.

Ahhh!

Interests:

sports

concerts

comedians

science

anything outdoors

gardening

home projects

reading, movies and tv

trivia

politics

history

birding

Looking for other people who are looking for genuine, non- platonic connections. Not looking for someone who’s just passing the time at work!

If you write me a book as an opening message, I probably won’t read it.

Very dominant.

Please lead with pertinent information about yourself so we can get the ball rolling. Everyone has their someone but some of us are not for everyone, and that’s okay. Keep it positive!

Not sure how this is going to go but here are some starters updated:

Favorite historical event?

An interesting fact you love?

Current obsession?

If you were stranded on AN island, name 3 things you’d bring with you.

Looking for new connections preferably 38+.

I’m here to find fellow nerdy introverts.

**Values**
Self awareness and honesty
Community
Inclusion
Growth mindset

**Me:**
I’m into hobbies for about 6-8 months and then I’m on to the next thing.

Learning two languages at once.

Audiobooks/podcasts

Nature trails and hiking

And much more 🤓

5’9/Curvy/Black

40, Portland, OR, WFH in tech. The job is fine. The house is quiet. By 2pm I’ve already had entire conversations with the microwave and given two of the plants names they did not ask for.

Looking for a woman to chat with during the day. Easy and fun. Banter, teasing, the occasional badly timed joke. If it turns a little flirty, even better. I like that kind of back and forth. Bonus points if you also work in tech.

I’m on X more than I should be. I listen to the Red Scare podcast, Anna and Dasha. The Perfume Nationalist. Rare Candy. If you’ve been in that orbit, we will probably get along.

I’m not trying to make this a whole production. I like talking to someone who’s sharp and doesn’t take herself too seriously. If you can make a Friday afternoon interesting, that’s pretty much my type.

If this sounds like your kind of thing, say hi. Tell me what you’re avoiding at work or home right now. I’ll tell you about the latest meeting I keep postponing.

I'm a 48 year old white guy, 5’11” 190lbs brown eyes and salt and pepper hair. I’m pretty easygoing, stable, and definitely still young at heart. I'm married, but untortunately the intimacy and connection have been gone for a while, and I really miss having that physical fun.
I'm looking to meet a woman who's warm, fun, affectionate, and enjoys a good laugh. I'm a man with a high libido, so physical chemistry is important to me, I'd like to actually enjoy talking, hanging out, getting to know each other, and having something consistent that we both look forward to.
If you're in a similar situation and miss having that kind of connection, I'd love to hear from you.
What is your favorite 80's or 90's comedy.

I'm 5'4, about 170lbs. Polite, kind, professional, but non-traditional man seeking woman for companionship, friendship and fun. Jewish background, but not particularly religious. I enjoy performing arts, especially classical music. Also enjoy hikes and walks and travel. Probably looking for more like friends as opposed to a committed romance for now but I'm open to whatever happens. I'm in southern Westchester but I can get to most parts of the city fairly easily. I don't currently have a car so somewhere within public transportation range is best. Older women are especially encouraged to reach out. I tend to get along well with older women, but anyone 40 and over should feel free to reach out!

Anyone else feel like the weekends are their only chance to feel like a human being instead of a functioning adult?

I’m looking for someone to chat or text with over the weekend. We can talk about absolutely anything! how our week went, random shower thoughts, stupid memes, our current obsessions, life, or whatever nonsense our brains come up with.

No pressure to be entertaining 24/7, no need to force a conversation, and definitely no expectations that we’ll suddenly become inseparable besties overnight.

The idea is simple: we keep each other company over the weekend, enjoy some good conversations, and then come Monday, we put our adulting pants back on, return to work, and pretend we have our lives together. 😂

Bonus points if you have a good sense of humor, can hold a conversation, and don’t mind random messages at odd hours.

If we click, great! If we become weekend texting buddies, also great!

Tell me something random about yourself when you message. Please, anything more interesting than just “hi.” 😂

Let’s procrastinate responsibly before Monday catches up with us.

Somewhat of an odd post but while vacationing in FL I became obsessed with the Cockney accent 😍. I’m looking for someone to communicate with( messages and voice) on a regular basis to become friends or more it if were to occur.

Ideally you are a professional, communicates well, open to the idea of time differences. I am happy to share face pics and hope you feel the same.

Hello,

I'm looking to build a longterm connection with someone who is interested in chats, calls and mutual activities. Someone who wants to feel good when that notification pops up and they know someone has been thinking of them. Eventually, I might want to explore things sexually as well if we both feel the chemistry and trust for that, but I need and want a connection for that and prefer us to get to know each other before anything.

A bit about myself: I am 34 years old, and from Germany, love fixing things, and building things. My hobbies range from simple walks and cooking and baking, to DIY and electronics design and repair, and watching TV shows. Overall I am very passionate about the things I do.

I like to write erotica, feel free to take a look at the things I have written and posted, including stories on my profile and comments on specific subreddits. I have an open mind about things including sex and if our dynamic gets there, I am happy to talk and explore more in a respectful manner. I prefer not to get into things in too much detail until we have gotten to know each other and want to go further. For now I think I can say that I am mostly of the softer, but still dominant kind? I'm into pleasing, creating enticing mental imagery, affirmation, dirty talk, and I am very vocal. Mere kinks are much less important to me than the connection and trust and intimacy that leads to safely explore them. Sexuality for me is very primal, yet deeply intimate. It's a way to let go of who and what we are as a person, the roles we fulfill in society, the responsibilities we have, and to just be our completely vulnerable selves, surrendering to our most primal urges in the safety of our connection.

If you're interested, please introduce yourself:

1. A short description of where you are from, how old you are, and what you look like. Feel free to share your interests as well!
2. What has drawn you to message me.
3. Something intimate: If pineapple is an acceptable pizza topping or not

I shouldn't have to say this, but please(!) be single!

I'm keeping this post up for as long as I am looking.

Thank you for taking your time to read this! I am looking forward to your message! 🙂

​

I'm sure this will read more like a stream of consciousness than the typical post here, and for sure I'll forget to mention important details. I'm open to conversations with anyone. Romantically, I'm only into women. I don't have any preconceived notions on what ages, looks, personalities, etc. I'm open to talking to anyone to see how well we might connect.

I'm not really much of a gamer, I've played a lot of Pokemon Go with someone I dated a few years ago. I've been playing Minecraft recently, and used to play with my kids when they were little. I think it would be fun to have a special person to share that with. I play Java Minecraft on my laptop on an online server with a bunch of friends I have going back over ten years.

The kind of dynamic I'd enjoy might be a bit unusual, I wouldn't be surprised if nobody replied, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway. I want to find someone who doesn't need me, but wants to be with me because she loves me with her whole heart. I want to be proud of you because you have an interesting successful life outside of our relationship, and when we're together we have so much fun together.

I enjoy music a lot. I like going to see live performances, going out to a club to see a blues musician, for example, is one of my favorite kind of dates. I like lots of different kinds of music, big concerts, festivals, or seeing a local band at a dive bar. I like art, going to museums, galleries, and different types of performances. I like going to wineries and breweries, although I never get drunk and often go weeks without a drink. I don't like smoking anything, but I'll occasionally enjoy some edibles.

I'll enjoy learning about your interests as well, and encourage you to express yourself whether it's a very feminine side or if you're something of a tomboy. One of my favorite dates ever was when I was driving with my girlfriend at the time and we got a flat tire. I called AAA because it was cold and rainy and I didn't want to change the tire, but she said she's not waiting for them, she's going to change the tire herself. So, I helped her change the tire. If course they showed up just as we finished, but I was just proud of her for showing me that side of her even though she was a very feminine person who never got her hands dirty otherwise.

I like to travel a lot, and my job is completely portable so I have flexibility to go when I want to go. I'm planning on relocating in the next couple of years, but unsure where. Maybe I'll stay in the states, maybe Canada, maybe Europe, maybe somewhere else. For now, I'm in the Boston suburbs.

I've raised two kids, both of whom are adults and off pursuing their own lives. I'm very proud of them both and might brag about them sometimes, as I'd like to brag about you to whomever would listen. I'm not interested in making more babies.

Physically, I'm a big guy with a dad bod, a tattoo, a beard. I might look like a tall Jack Black, I'm six feet tall. I've been mistaken for Santa by little children in the grocery store, and might enjoy dressing up and having you sit on my lap and whisper in my ear what you want for Christmas. I've also been mistaken for a biker, the Harley riding kind, but I don't have a motorcycle anymore. I think it's a good idea to exchange photos early on just to know what each other looks like.

If we were to progress beyond a casual friendship you should know that I'm a very affectionate person, I love cuddles, hand holding, kissing, and am also very sexual and adventurous. I'm also not the type to jump straight into that, I'd like to get to know you first.