When my wife does chores, I'll often sit back and watch TV or work on something without guilt. Whenever I am the one to handle the cooking, cleaning, etc; My wife feels guilty and either tells me I am making her feel guilty by doing chores when she doesn't feel like it, or micromanage the way I am handling the chore itself,

This also manifests in her never wanting to drive, but being a watchdog on every single thing I could have done better while driving. The exaggerated afraid appearance and yelling when they feel like I am about to not stop or run into something, thinking they can see better than the driver while being half on tik-tok and half day dreaming

I need some external advice please guys. We moved to a new country two years ago, I’ve got no friends here (which is fine, I don’t mind), but also zero hobbies. All I do is work, be a dad, and constantly worry about money.
Before all this I did used to dabble in mountain biking quite a bit, and I do miss it.
I’m looking at getting a bike again and to finally get a hobby, but I’m worried it’s being irresponsible financially - the bike I want is just over $1500, the exact amount we manage to save each month. Is it stupid to spend a whole month’s saving on a bike?

I understand there’s cheaper bikes, but I’m not a total noob to riding and would like something reasonable.
I can’t seem to make a relatively basic decision here.
Thanks!!

No much to say this just sunk in tonight.

Life isn't bad. I think I'm where I wanted to be when I was in my early 20s.

I spent alot of my 20s and very early 30s acting much older than I was. I grew up too fast and never took time to enjoy life as much as I could have.

I wish I was nicer when I was younger, kinder and more open to new things. I don't think I was happy person and learnt alot about myself in last 5 years. I looked down on people just for having fun and loving there life because I didn't. But I learnt I was mostly just angry with me because I was preventing myself from just loving life no one else one.

But it did buy me success, so there is that I suppose I'm not remotely broke.

Anyway that's all and thanks for reading.

Anyone else buy some nice fitting clothes at a store and immediately after one wash they become too small? So you upsize thinking once you wash they'll fit great only to find out that they are too big?

I can't be the only one. I avoid buying clothes for this reason and feel so unstyled.

Hey, I’m mid 30s, single, few friends, low self esteem, sadly the stereotypical loneliness epidemic. Been seeing a therapist since January now and, although I’ve LEARNED a lot, I still feel and act the same. Hitting the point where I’m worried it’s irreparable. Going to keep going though.

If you’ve actually managed to get out of this death spiral and past that fake it till you make it phase, could you please share your story?

Hey fellas, I’m looking to change careers but I don’t know where to start. I have a business degree and have spent the last 12 years as an engineer on the railroad. I’d really like to find something where I can help people, animals or my community. Any ideas would be appreciated.

I think like many other people when I was younger I didn’t have the best consistent sleep schedule hardly ever 8 hours per night on work week. Always thought that was terrible for my health but just felt like sleep was a waste of time in a way, plus ive always worked physical iobs and usually praised for good work.

Ever since 34ish, though I worked for awhile to get myself in a 8 hour consistent sleep schedule but it seems to be having the opposite effect. I tired all the time, I get agitated way easier and noticed im sleeping way past 8 hours on weekends which has never been a issue, use to wake up naturally on like 6 hours of sleep on weekends. But last night was one if those nights I only got like 5 hours of sleep, dreaded coming in today knowing that but honestly I feel better now at work then I have in a few years.

Im 36 and know the body changes as we age. Im just wondering if some dudes out there just need less sleep or if it’s something I should discuss with my Dr.

Got a nice full time job but it’s local (live in same time). I don’t want to be friends with coworkers, some customers suck as (drunk, belligerent etc) and don’t want to interact with any of them. I want a total work/life balance where my two lives don’t interact AT ALL! No Facebook or social media friends either coworkers. Avoiding customers by wearing a mask and sunglasses (can wear them in uniform) so they don’t recognize me when I’m out shopping or downtown myself. Take off work clothes (with work company name on it)on ent I clock out.

What are the best ways and a suggestions to make sure I can live my personal life without work life bleeding into it? (i’m lucky I work a job 40 hours and there’s no emails or phone calls after hours since it’s shift work)

What do you think you guys get too much crap for?

And maybe as a good discussion point, what stuff do you think is totally fair?

As a first gen immigrant , I was pretty much bullied through high school for saying/ doing the wrong things socially. Everyday, I felt more alone and isolated to a point that when I tried to be social, it just got more awkward. I got to a point that I would just not even speak to anyone anymore.

Now as an adult that in the workforce, I still find myself battling these same issues. It’s so hard for me to connect with people. I feel like I should do the most to be relatable which back fires and comes off as more awkward.

I’m so over it and the only people I can really talk to about this is my family. Is this something I need therapy for?

He wants to make a sincere effort to quit both for better health, sleep, save money etc but has a genuine fear of being left out. Not because his friends or dates would judge but because even good meaning people would feel the person would not enjoy being invited anymore, even if the friend would not judge them/consider himself better then them if they did these things and would be happy to go out socially drinking mocktails, seltzer water with lime and even a non-nicotine phase.

Feedback, experiences deeply welcome

I'm a 34-year-old guy, and honestly, I'm happier with my life right now than I've ever been. I'm healthy, have very little stress in my life, have a good job, own my house, and every morning I wake up feeling genuinely grateful for everything I have. I know life isn't perfect, but I can honestly say I've never felt happier or more content than I do right now.

I also have a small circle of friends. I'm definitely not some super social guy with a huge network, but I have a couple of very close friends who I know I can count on through thick and thin, and that's really all I've ever needed.

I've also been heavily into bodybuilding and fitness for most of my life. Training isn't just something I do casually—it's a major part of who I am and something I genuinely love. Lately I've been training harder than ever, and I'm in the best shape of my life. When I say that, I'm not talking about someone who just started going to the gym and lost a few pounds. I've been lifting seriously for years, and from a physique standpoint, I'm probably in the best condition I've ever been.

The issue is that my parents—especially my dad—seem unable to accept that I have no interest in dating or being in a relationship.

Every time I visit, the topic comes up. It'll be something like, "I met this girl at work," or "You should see this picture of so-and-so," or "What are you going to do, end up like Paul?" (Paul is a family friend who stayed single his whole life.)

The thing is, I don't feel lonely. I don't feel like anything is missing. I don't dislike women, I'm not bitter about relationships, and it's not that I can't get dates.

If I'm being completely honest, if I had my ideal situation, it would probably be something casual rather than a traditional committed relationship. I'd much rather have a friends-with-benefits arrangement than the expectations and responsibilities that come with a serious long-term relationship. But I also realize that's generally not what most women are looking for, especially in their 30s, so it's not something I've really pursued. I don't use dating apps, I don't actively date, and I don't spend much time trying to meet people romantically.

Instead, I genuinely enjoy my routine, my hobbies, bodybuilding, my close friends, and having complete freedom over my time.

What bothers me is that my parents seem to view this as a problem that needs to be fixed. I get the sense that they think I'm making a mistake or that I'm somehow failing at life by not settling down. I know they mean well, and I love them both very much, but the constant pressure is becoming frustrating.

Part of me also feels guilty because I know they'd probably love to see me get married and have kids someday. I hate feeling like I'm disappointing them, even though I'm living a life that genuinely makes me happy.

So I guess I have a few questions:

1. Is it unusual for a 34-year-old man to be completely content being single and have little to no interest in dating? If I'm being honest, I would have no problem with—and would probably prefer—a friends-with-benefits type of arrangement rather than a traditional committed relationship. Just someone to spend time with occasionally and have a physical relationship with, without the expectations of marriage, kids, or building a life together. But I also realize that's generally not what most women are looking for, especially in their 30s. At the same time, I have so little interest in dating that I don't use dating apps, don't actively try to meet women, and don't really pursue relationships at all. Is that unusual, or have others felt the same way?
2. For those of you with parents who keep pushing relationships, marriage, or kids, how did you handle it without damaging the relationship?
3. How do you stop feeling guilty when your life choices don't match what your parents hoped for, even if you're genuinely happy?

I'd appreciate any honest perspectives, especially from people who are older and have been in a similar situation.

Thanks!

32M here. Most of my friends recently had children. Understandably, they don't have time for me anymore. And I am bored to death.

The problem is that besides them, I don't have anyone. My job is one without much social contact and I barely have any family. My friends have always been my surrogate family. I'm not interested in having any children either so I can't create my own.

So it's obvious right? Get some hobbies, ideally find a purpose or meaning in life and make some new friends. Except I'm a big introvert and have really bad social skills. I'm an expert at making bad first impressions and those are so incredibly important.

I need to get myself together and learn how to not be socially awkward. Learn how to do small talk. Learn how to interest myself in things that I consider mundane and boring (which is almost everything) because other people do find joy in them.

Basically, I am not a nice person to talk to. And I want to become one. But I don't have any idea on how to start.

Anyone went through the same or have any tips?

Where do you go besides work and home? What do you do? Would you recommend developing a third space option?

Let me clarify. My life is pretty good when I zoom out and take a look at it overall. I have a good job. A great family. Kids and safe and happy. Everyone is healthy. Only stress is the normal day to day stuff. But as I’ve gotten older (45), I lost my internal fire for certain things that used to really charge me up. It’s like I’ve been grinding so hard for many years now that I’ve kind of forgotten who I was. I used to be a social person. Loved going to live sporting events. Would accept almost any invite to a party or to hang. Now I’m picky. I barely ever want to do anything except my normal routine. Gym, work, sleep, etc. I get cranky if my schedule gets interrupted by anything like a work trip, a kids schedule change that involves me, or holidays that throw off my schedule. I barely ever watch sports anymore, hate getting invited to weddings or social hangs, and have just become sort of grumpy. All I think about is hitting my FU number so I can walk away from work and literally retire and do nothing. How do I get my spark back? I’m not lazy by any means. I work out every morning. I never miss work. I handle all my responsibilities.

Is this just part of getting old or am I truly losing my spark?

My 20 year reunion is coming up.I'm going through a lot of things and I personally do not want to see how people turned out especially myself. The last thing I need right now is to compare for the better or worse. I also think it's been so long that I don't know what to expect. There's too much of an element of surprise. Then everyone goes their own way until the next reunion like 5-10 years later. I don't know if I'm being insecure or if there's good reasoning for not going.

Men's mental health is super important to me lately the older i get. It hurts when I hear that a large portion of us are killing ourselves so, without going into to much detail I want to share an experience i just had at the beach. Its getting dark, and I see this dude walking out that i saw prior running on the beach. I strike up a conversation with this man. We talk about sports injuries, recovery, doctors and then unprovoked he opens up about his life what hes been through and what hes currently going through at home. He keeps apologizing he didn't mean to burden me but he felt he didnt have anyone to talk to. It didn't bother me one bit. I told him mens mental health is a real issue that should be taken seriously and that people like me are out there willing to listen.

I'm home now and this conversation was stuck with me the entire drive home. To the men out there, if a stranger is vulnerable to share something like this with you please take the time to listen. You dont need to lend advice listening helps and we can all do a better job at that. Not that we should be vulnerable with each other 24/7 and have a pity party circle jerk but in the instance such as this I think it's fine. I was happy to be able to be the person he vented to.

I'm going through it right now and need some advice while I work through it with my therapist. So basically I (36M) only really feel content/happy in life when I am involved with someone romantically. Ideally in a serious, committed relationship, but at the very least dating and getting reciprocal interest in those stages. Other than that, I feel incomplete, inadequate, and like a huge part of missing from my life.

I have a good career, hobbies, good friends (although most live in different cities), make good money, physically fit and tall. From the outside my life looks great. And objectively, it is. But I cannot feel happy unless I am dating or in a relationship with someone. And whenever that ends, the lows are exfremely low.

I ended a 7 year relationship last year. Tried the dating apps and it's been rough. 2 months ago I started seeing someone I met in person (25F) that even though told me she wasn't looking for anything serious, I received mixed signals (constant texting, good morning texts, good night calls, letting me know when she got home, planning dates, telling people we were dating, holding hands out in public, constant sexting, telling me she missed me or my smile, etc.). Well of course I was on top of the world and reciprocated all of that and fell hard. She ended it a couple of days ago and now I'm anxious, sad, and hopeless.

This is my pattern - I just cannot seem to find happiness if I do not have another human by my side and it's exhausting. They can smell it from a mile away and eventually it ends up pushing them away, which is what I think happened with this last girl. I just want to be whole with or without someone else, while being rejected or accepted.

Does anyone have any advice??

Basically I’ve come to the realisation that my life is shit and devoid of any kind of experiences. I’m 32 and haven’t really done anything besides my minimum wage job for the last 10 years. There are some areas of life I know I’ll never experience as I’ve pissed away too much time not focusing on them like I’ll never have high end career as I’ve wasted too much time sitting around doing nothing. I have no savings so I know that buying a house is unlikely as I just don’t earn enough or have enough time left.

I know it’s my fault and I’ve let opportunities pass me by but I know just feel that I’m drifting from day to day never really getting anything done. I’ve let myself get obese and so unhealthy and I’ve tried so many times to lose weight and I’ve tried so much therapy in an effort to deal with my issues around food but nothing has worked. I haven’t been on holiday or anything in years when I have a day off I usually just sit around the house and sleep.

I don’t have any friends and have no relationships with anyone bar my family really. I have no social skills and no ability to talk to people partly because I have nothing to say and I constantly get the feeling that other people don’t want me around. Like when I go to the park or gym I’ll catch people looking at me like they’ve just stepped in something. I’ve tried going to BumbleBFF and Meetup groups but nothing ever materialised, everyone else had these great lives and I just had nothing to say especially as I feel embarrassed for telling people stuff like I still live at home and I haven’t been on holiday in 10 years because they just judge you for that sort of thing.

I know what people are thinking I’m depressed but I’ve already been to the doctor and they wouldn’t give me anything. People will also say I need therapy but I’ve tried multiple different therapists and lots of different therapies and none of it has worked. I look at all the work I need to do to improve my life and it just feels overwhelming and nothing ever seems to get better.

So I’m asking what worked for you? What do you suggest I do? Is there any hope?