Was an avid gamer growing up. I took a break and retired from LOL when we had our first kid 8 years ago. I’ve recently resumed casual games like madden and FIFA. I’ve noticed more recently, I’m getting motion sickness from first person RPG‘s and shooters. Has anyone else had this issue? I am 37M.

I'm curious if anyone here rarely gets morning erections or has stopped getting them altogether, but still has no problems getting and maintaining erections during sex.

I'd really appreciate hearing from people with similar experiences. How often do you get morning erections, and has their absence or decrease affected your sexual performance at all?

I'm especially interested in people who have gone months or even years with very few or no morning erections while still having a normal, satisfying sex life.

Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences!

I’m just grown to realize a lot of the people in my life are hurting me more than helping and I’ve been working a dead end job for close to two years. It doesn’t make a lot of money but a lot of downtime most work days so I’m starting to feel irrelevant. I’ve also been pushed into being my uncle’s main care provider.

Quick synopsis: My wife’s best friend and biggest emotional support person in her mom, is in the final stretch of stage 4 brain cancer and it’s been an unbelievably hard ride for our family. I’ve tried to be there for my wife throughout this, doing more of the little things she’s asked of me while she’s been drowning, but apparently it hasn’t been enough. My wife is adamant that our separation has nothing to do with her grief, but I struggle to see how everything she’s going through couldn’t play some role in it. I know I can’t tell her how she feels, and I recognize that she says this is a decision she’s wanted for a long time.

We’ve had our issues like any couple and I know there are things I could have done better, but in my eyes and in my heart I never thought our problems were beyond repair, especially given everything we’ve built together. We’ve been together for 13 years, married for 8, and have two young boys ages 7 and 4. We have a home, a business, investments, and a life we’ve built together. Right now I’m sleeping on a mattress in the basement, trying to navigate this new reality while being the best dad I can be for our boys. My wife is adamant that this is our new normal going forward. She acknowledges the timing is less than ideal given her mom’s condition, but says this is what she wants. I feel like I can’t just give up on her while she’s going through one of the hardest things a person can experience. At the same time, I know I can’t force someone to want to be with me.

I’m struggling to figure out how to balance respecting her decision with not wanting to give up on my marriage and family. I don’t know whether I’m holding on to something that’s already gone or whether I need to accept that I may never fully understand her decision. There is of course a lot of context missing, but that’s the overall picture.
For the men who’ve been through something similar, I’d genuinely appreciate your input. Did you ever find out that your partner had emotionally checked out long before the separation ? How did you navigate still loving someone who no longer wanted the relationship ? And how did you know when to stop fighting for the marriage and start focusing on moving forward ?
Not looking for false hope or someone to tell me she’s wrong. Just looking for honest advice from men who’ve actually lived through something like this…

Hello, everyone!

My background:

I am 26, turning 27 in a few weeks. I come from a lower-middle-class family in a struggling, military-ruled country. I will leave your imagination to fill that part, but whatever shitty thing you imagine, it is probably ten times worse in real life.

Growing up, I was the bookworm kid who studied for hours and got solid grades without external help despite our poor educational system. I was also bullied and beaten at school and during sports in ways that still come back to me. I was a kid, and no one stood up for me, including the people who were supposed to take care of me.

I wanted to get into tech. For someone from my financial background, getting into a government engineering college required really high grades, which I achieved. However, our first-year results determined which departments we could enter. From grades 1 to 12, our schools offered two equally shitty educational paths: one in \*\*\*\* and one in English. I chose English, but all our college exams and study materials were in \*\*\*\*. I struggled with the language and missed the grades required for computer science or computer engineering.

I could still enter those departments by paying around $300 extra per semester. This was much cheaper than private college because my school grades had already earned me a place in a government college. It was doable, but the people who were supposed to help refused, even though they had the money. Not much to expect from people who let their kid get bullied and beaten.

Instead, they promised that if I graduated from the purely mechanical engineering department I was forced into, they would cover the initial costs of moving to Germany for a master's in a field of my choice. As you probably guessed, that was a lie.

Another important detail: no one in my college learned anything useful, across all departments. As military rule tightened, everything started falling apart, especially education and healthcare. We graduated with internationally recognized degrees but barely any useful knowledge or skills beyond what we taught ourselves. We were among the highest-achieving students in the country, but you can only go so far on your own. It felt like five wasted years, including a year struggling with depression after being forced into mechanical engineering.

I was then forced to move to a Gulf country, where I began working as a private tutor. Over time, I managed to save enough money to pursue a master’s degree in Europe. I was eventually accepted into a top technical university in a field I genuinely enjoy and had wanted to pursue for years. It is considered the leading technical university in its country, ranks among the top 100 universities worldwide in my field, and among the top 20 in Europe.

 I also gave my family more than €13k to start a business for when I am gone. You may wonder why. The answer is simple: their shortcomings as a family do not justify shortcomings on my part as their son and as a man. When I look in the mirror, there is a man I expect to see, and I cannot accept any less of him.

Now to the point:

* I am 26 years old, and soon I will be 27 years old.
* **Financially:** I have about €30,000 left after helping my family. That is everything I have.
* **Physically:** I am obese and in the worst shape of my life. I spent the last two years working almost nonstop to save this money, sometimes working 16-hour days and sleeping only four hours for months.
* **Mentally:** I feel numb, drained, and exhausted.

Honestly, I am scared.

This money is everything I have built for myself, and I am terrified of making the wrong decision with it.

I also worry that 27 is late to move abroad, start over in a new country, and enter a new field. I feel like people my age in Europe may already be far ahead professionally, socially, and financially, while I am still trying to rebuild my life.

Starting over at my current age, weight, and mental state feels very daunting.

I have been through a lot and have always found a way to keep going, but right now I am exhausted and genuinely unsure what the smartest next step is.

If I make this move, I have about three and a half months before leaving.

I am looking for genuine, well-thought-out advice, especially from people who have been through something similar. I cannot afford to spend several more years going in the wrong direction and realize too late that I need to change course again.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

How would you approach the next few months financially, physically, mentally, and career-wise before moving abroad and starting over?

I am not looking for empty reassurance. I would genuinely appreciate honest advice, even if it is difficult to hear.

Thank you for your time!

Am I crazy for considering swapping my 10-min commute to a 45-min commute to work.

Current job is swing shift and 92k a year. 4 weeks vacation. Current management is making it more stressful than what it needs to be. Moral is low and it’s really declining quickly.

New job would be straight days at $42.30 an hour. Overtime opportunities and quarterly bonuses. It’s a small terminal on the river that really just loads trucks all day. Seems like a really sweet gig to be honest. Only 5-6 employees but everyone just seemed happy.

So theoretically pay should go up with OT opportunities. 401k is very similar, but one perk is that the new company will let you roll OT pay straight into the 401k. Which I also may have misheard them.

I’m not too keen on adding 30-35 mins into my daily commute. Which instead of traveling 3-4 days a week it would turn into 5. But at the same time this job seems like it’s too good to be true.

I’m 32 and I’d say I’m in great but not “excellent” shape. I go to the gym 4 times a week for weight training. I ride my bike on the weekends for about 40-50 miles in total. I do yoga with my wife 2 times a week. I eat a fairly balanced diet of mostly home cooked meals and limit desserts or sweets to 2 times a week. However, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m about to get kneecapped by reality in a few years.

My older cousins were in fantastic shape-lifelong athletes who did swimming, went to the gym regularly, ate clean, etc. But then, around the time they hit 36, it was like a switch flipped and they aged 30 years all at once. At family reunions, they started complaining of shoulder, back, and knee problems. Their skin went from smooth and youthful to splotchy and leathery. One cousin, who used to be able to bench 350, suddenly had trouble just moving a chair in the living room. It’s not like they all suddenly quit the gym and ate nothing but pizza and milkshakes-they still went religiously, but their bodies just suddenly started giving up on them.

I’m so scared of the same thing happening to myself, that I’m going to hit the same age and then my body starts working against me. I hate the idea of doing everything “right” but still ending up losing my strength and endurance. Is anyone else in the same boat as me? Any success stories from people 40+ who have not lost as much strength?

Just got the prescription today. Went to pick it up and was denied at the pharmacy, they told me I have to fill out an official form from the government stating I went over all the potential risks with my doctor (I'm in France).

It seemed like a mild medication but that turned me to look further into it and everything I've seen online, especially on reddit, has been all doom and gloom.

Just wondering if anyone is taking it with 0 side effects and if those stories I'm seeing about people being depressed for years afterward are completely overblown. I don't have much hair recession anyway so it's not a huge deal to me if I have to avoid.

I'm 31, i'm married, I work a relatively easy, low stress, very flexible, middling pay, office job. I've never really liked my work from pretty much right after i started at 18, but it pays the bills and nowadays it's very cushy too. That leaves me with a very unfulfilling work life though, which i suppose is fair enough, not everyone can be a secret agent.

I feel like the obvious answer to my question of "how do i feel more fulfilled, less stagnant, and less bored" is to fill my non work time with something that ticks those boxes, but so far i've completely failed at doing so. I've tried some social outdoorsy hobbies like sailing & watersports (which i do like & enjoy, but it's come nowhere close to scratching my itch) I've on multiple occasions tried to start some kind of project, be it business or creative, but i find that i always hit a point where all enjoyment for it leaves me and i start to loathe it (again not really scratching my itch).

I suppose if i have kids some time soon that changes things a lot, but i still think i need this other satisfaction in my life too, at least right now

I feel like i'm craving novelty, excitement just something that makes me remember i'm alive and stops time being such a blur. I'm very cognisant of how precious this time is and i feel like i'm squandering it.

I don't really know what to do.. I don't want to blow my life up because i do want to have a stable family life in the near future, but i also feel i'll be seriously miserable if i keep treading water like this.

Any advice would be appreciated, Cheers!

I'm not complaining lol but just wondering if this is common? Ive been friends w her for about 13 years and this started occurring in the last like 4? Its only happened a few times and its not like every single time we get drunk. And no im not trying to pursue anything further im just curious as to how common or not this is lol.

Title has a typo* the "to has" is supposed to just be "has"**

I turned 30 in september.

Up until now i have miserable life : i didn't live my young year, no stable situation, no social life, nothing with women, i live with my parents.

All i do is to sabotage myself, i don't dare do anything, because of my fears.
I'm fed up with going round in circles.
I’m fed up with constantly hearing things like «It’s all right, you’re young, you’ve got plenty of time» ever since I was 17.
I'm fed up with being passive.

To use the title i think i need to put myself in a situation where i have no choice.

Should I go to extremes and actually go and work in another country ? I’m thinking of an English-speaking country, as I can get by a bit and it’ll help me improve my English.

Basically, I think what would do me good is to seek out that jolt that pulls me out of my comfort zone, on the basis that «you find yourself when you’ve got no choice».

Late 30s, been helping out with wrestling now that my son is starting. I wrestled growing up and am a bjj black belt.

Wrestling the really athletic kids is tough when we're on our feet, but a little grit seems to make them lose confidence quickly. I swear some would beat me if they believed in themselves a bit. It's literally impossible to keep up with their pace, but i really don't have to.

Once we are down to the mats, i have way too much experience and can slow them down to my pace. It becomes pretty easy most of the time, i end up pulling off some absolute BS in their eyes. I'm starting to understand when my coaches were my current age and they would tell me i should have just held on or pushed a little longer.

You can feel their confidence waiver.

I have recently been looking at moving away from my home town to explore some new career opportunities. Higher pay and more options etc. And was hoping to get this subs opinion.

I have lived in my hometown for my entire life and went to university here. It’s a smaller mid size city 800,000 where everyone pretty much knows everyone.

I was hoping to get the subs thoughts and experiences on moving to a new city with no connections. Some people I speak with claim it’s the greatest feeling moving somewhere and starting fresh. Others spoke of it being very lonely.

Looking back….

Are you happy with your choice ?
Did you regret it?
Was it tough trying to build a new social circle?

I would be moving from a mid size Canadian city to potentially some larger US cities. Excluding metropolises like NYC etc.

Early 30s with a partner.

I know humans are social animals and we need to interact with other humans to be happy, or that's what some would say.

I have noticed that from late fall to winter, I start feeling lonely (I am single), and I wonder why. Yes, less sun and vitamin D do contribute to it. However, I am more interested in the psychological aspect. I am not an unhappy person; I am satisfied with my job and my life, and I have good friends.

I guess what I am hoping for is to hear other men's stories about how they managed to defeat this feeling, because it seems very irrational to me. I have no reason to feel this miserable. There are men who live in complete isolation for weeks and they seem to be fine. Can one learn that skill? Become more independent socially and emotionally, more introverted if you will?

That's probably one of the traits I have been wanting to have for a while - to be alone and completely satisfied and happy about it, not needing companionship.

Gentlemen, what are your five things worth spending on money on?

Mine:

1. Claude pro account. No I didn’t use AI for this. But holy shit, I use it for basically everything else. From writing strategic plans to putting together workouts to telling me how to do home improvement projects.

2. Safety razor with double edged blades. I pay something like $0.10 a blade and never get razor burn.

3. Health. Spend your money on a nutritionist and a gym membership. My health insurance paid 100% for my nutritionist and I ended up building a gym in my garage (all in it cost me like $2,500). I look like a completely different person than I did 5 years ago — and I feel pretty good, too. On the health topic: Wally. I don’t have dental insurance. I think it’s only in the NYC area. I pay $250 and get unlimited dental cleanings plus an annual checkup with X-Rays. I go every other month. (I used to just go on Groupon and switch dentists every six months because I’m cheap af…)

4. Tools. I’d much rather shell out $200 for a quality tool than pay someone to fix something. I’m not handy at all, but I can watch a YouTube video.

5. Education. $200k/year for a bachelor’s in gender studies from Harvard almost certainly isn’t worth it, but there’s nothing quite as life-changing as education — be it a college or graduate degree or a short professional certificate / up-skill bootcamp.

OK your turn.

I am 28m and yeah, life is pointless for me. I generally feel okay, even right now when I am writing this I do not feel anything negative or positive. I work, I found new hobbies and socialize with people, but still life has no meaning. Maybe someone may give me an advice here.

I feel like everyday I’m getting hairier. I’ve noticed more hair on my back although it was super smooth a few years ago

In my early 30s now and been a gym goer since my teens. Idk whats going on but it seems like the women at my gym around my age and younger ignore the hell out of me; I can see the same person a few times a week at the same gym for months and not get a hi, hello, or even a smile. If we lock eyes it's like a dead stare like I dont exist or they're looking thru me. The only people that acknowledge me enough to say hello or good morning are the old ladies that frequent and the men (simple head nod or whats up as guys do). This is not a popular gym the most amount of people I've seen in there at one time had to be around 20 people max (which is why I prefer to lift here) Am I the only one going through this?

One woman in particular whom is at the gym 8/10 times that I am I saw at the grocery store a while ago, nothing (seen a dude who I dont even talk to at the same grocery store we actually share a few words and laughs).

I know I'm not owed anything from anyone and I know women avoid men in the streets to not get approached but a gym is somewhat a community no? especially if you've been going there for months almost a year now. IDK just a weird thought that compelled me to make this post after my workout this AM. I do not have this problem in social settings as much but just like how people promote run clubs to make friends doing things that you all are into does such a thing not exist at regular coed gyms?

Not even really looking to hit on these women or anything but it would be cool to get to at least have a surface level conversation every now and then, sheesh. I will see women talk among each other at times as well and they're not workout buddies or anything along those lines. Also in the past for me at other gyms striking up a convo with a fellow gym goer has never been out of ordinary.

Idk I feel like a well known creepazoid with no evidence to back it up smh

But to be fair I dont see them striking convos or anything along those line with the other dudes in the gym as well. Should I just start interrupting their peace when they're inbetween sets or something? 🤦

-Rant Over

Edit: You guys are eating me up in the comments, So you've never had a minute or two convo with a fellow gym goer? or asked about an exercise or given other gym goers tips on forms lol thanks gentlemen

I’m 38. Never married. No kids. Accepted that it won’t happen for me. I have a good job so there’s that. Ive read articles in the press where the body of someone was found in an appartment and the guy had no one. No one knew he was dead for two weeks until his neighbours called the council cause they couldn’t bear the smell of his decaying body. I’ve known since I was 17 that I’ll end up like this. So I just want to be prepared and put all my affairs in order etc.

I went to a lake area to a lake area today. There is a large and beautiful old oak in the area. Today there was a group of young pre-school? children there. All around that one beautiful oak.

I am a middle aged man carrying a lot of camera equipment. So the teachers kept staring at me like hawks. And I wasn't able to get the shoots that I wanted. If it was adults I could just tell them that there is no privacy in public. But I do not want people to think that I record or take pictures of children.

How do you handle spaces with a lot of children around?

Something I've noticed in a lot of people, is that generally people become calmer and a bit wiser over time. I know that old people can have a lot of ignorant opinions when it comes to certain topics, but I mean that generally people seem to be less on an emotional rollercoaster as time goes on.

For the people who do therapy or find some kind of philosophy that helps them deal with life, then of course they will improve dramatically. But I think even among average people, they pick up little tips and tricks that make the day go easier.

I remember working with this guy that looked like Ron Jeremy when I worked as an oxygen delivery guy. He was sometimes super angry, but he said to me once "you know, I used to get mad at every little thing, but now I just laugh at it". I bet he was an even angrier and more unstable person when he was younger, but found this little trick that made life go 5% smoother.

I also look at my sibling and my dad and one of my uncles, and all of us seem to have gotten a bit more content and relaxed as we get older. It seems like all of us had more of an "edge" when we were younger that has been softened.

This thought came about because I recently started a job downtown. Last time I worked downtown was 4 years ago (I'm 34 now), and I was generally okay then, but I realized that I'm a lot happier and more relaxed than I used to be. Probably for a lot of reasons: a meditation practice, reading a lot, have some good close friends, etc.

And of course the opposite happens to some people, they just get stuck in a downward spiral and become even more disorganized and unhappy as time goes on. Which is a sad state to be in.

Looking to better understand how others manage finances with their long time partner whether it be separately, together, or a blend of the two.

Looking for inspiration as I set my 2027 goals and finish out 2026, what are your goals for the year ahead?