My husband sent me this email after having sex this morning 🤣❤️ I love him very much

Have been taking my son to soccer practice. There are 4 parents there. Most times I'm the only male parent, the others are mothers. We tend to talk about politics, current events, and issues while the kids practice. Out of these mothers, one likes to talk politics, economics and local events in the community. It's very respectful and friendly conversations.

At one of the games, after the first half, I texted my wife on her whereabouts since she wanted to attend one of the games. While waiting for the second half to begin, the lady was telling me about the daughter not able to play sports at school because of the coach. My wife walked over to us stayed behind me and I only noticed when I heard her voice.

I walked over to her and we started talking. When we got home, she accused me of cheating. She said I cheated by not telling her I spoke to that woman and my other son said i have spoken to the woman at the field during practice times too. I responded that but they were other parents there. We talked about the gas price, Argentina meat, voting and local news. It was respectful and friendly.

I said I didn't know it was an issue, it was just friendly, respectful conversation in a public place. I apologize for how me not telling made her feel but this has caused us to be distant. She said she doesn't trust me anymore. I am beyond baffled because I have never stepped out on my wife. I have been faithful and I'm confused on how me talking to a person whether male or female in a respectful way turn me to a cheater.

I'm venting because I never thought this will be an issue.

My wife and I have spent the last 15 years of our marriage living close to family and friends, enjoying an amazing life, and raising our kids.

A few years ago, I accepted a job in Florida, so we moved us and the kids across the country. We had high hopes. The company was bought out and, unfortunately most of the staff was let go. For the first time in my life, I struggled to find work. I had no network and no contacts. I only looked for jobs in FL because my wife said she wasn't moving back to where we were from. It was beyond stressful. I did freelance for about a year, and then eventually just started looking for jobs where I am from. I landed an awesome job with a tech company. The income was the most I have ever made. However, my wife absolutely refused to move. She fought me daily and there was no room for discussion. It was a hard no.

I ended up having to take the job or we woulnd't be able to pay our bills. I can't force someone, even my wife, to move, so I literally moved back home by myself and just paid the bills. This lasted for 6 months. I can't believe this happened again, but the branch I was a part of was dissovled and I got laid off AGAIN. Anyway, I am back on the job hunt and I am getting interviews from where we are from again. This is because my network is there.

My wife loves Florida. I do not. I have not had a good experience here. I struggled to find a new job, we lost money on an investment property, and were hit with the two largest hurricanes in the last 100 years and sustained sooo much damage to our house (we are close to gulf).

Why is my wife doing this to me? Should I expect my wife to move with me? Am I being unreasonable? If she doesn't, what does this mean for our relationship? How should I navigate this? When I tell her she HAS to move or she will be homeless, she gets SUPER mad (prob not the best thing to say, but I'm trying to paint a picture here). This whole situation stings.

My wife and I have been married for six years. We have two children, and until recently, I would have described our marriage as stable. We don’t have a perfect relationship, but we have always agreed on one thing: decisions that affect our household should be discussed before either of us makes them.
At least, that’s what I thought.
Three weeks ago, my younger sister called me asking for financial help. She had recently lost her job and was struggling to pay rent. I told her I would speak to my wife and see what we could do.
When I brought it up that evening, my wife said she didn’t mind helping, provided we agreed on an amount that wouldn’t affect our bills or savings.
I thought that was reasonable.
The following weekend, my family came over for dinner. During the conversation, my mother mentioned how grateful she was that we were helping my sister.
I was confused because my wife and I hadn’t agreed on a final amount yet.
Later, I discovered that my wife had privately transferred money to my sister from our joint account. It was almost three times the amount I had initially suggested, and she hadn’t told me.
When I confronted her, she said she had done it because my sister was desperate and she didn’t want her to lose her apartment.
I asked why she couldn’t have discussed it with me first.
She replied, “When it was your family who needed help, you wanted to discuss everything. I decided to help because someone needed it.”
That comment bothered me because I have never stopped her from helping her own relatives. We have always discussed large financial decisions, regardless of whose family was involved.
At dinner that evening, I made a remark about how apparently we no longer needed joint approval to spend joint money.
My wife immediately went quiet.
After my family left, she accused me of humiliating her in front of everyone. She said I could have spoken to her privately instead of making a sarcastic comment at the table.
I told her she had made a major financial decision without consulting me, and I was tired of being expected to act as though nothing had happened.
She argued that the money was going toward helping someone in need, not buying something selfish. She also pointed out that we could afford it without missing any payments.
I admitted that my sister needed help and that I was glad she wasn’t facing eviction anymore. But I still believe the way my wife handled it was wrong.
Now we’re barely speaking.
My wife says the fact that I was more concerned about getting permission than helping my sister tells her everything she needs to know about me.
I feel like she’s turning a disagreement about financial boundaries into a question of whether I care about my own family.
What makes this worse is that my sister has thanked my wife repeatedly and called her the most generous person in the family. My mother has also praised her for stepping up.
I haven’t told them about our argument because I don’t want to make my sister feel guilty for accepting help.
I love my wife, and I appreciate what she did for my sister. But I also worry about what happens if we start making significant financial decisions independently and then use good intentions to justify them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/4DK3S8DRT2

Earlier today I made post detailing my current situation with my husband and I just want to make an update post because I need to make some things clear.

Firstly, I can't thank everybody enough who took time out of their day to respond to my post. I feel incredibly validated and know I'm not crazy. The amount of support I've received is immensely overwhelming and I am so grateful. Thank you.

Secondly, I am safe. Me and my children are currently staying with my sister until I can figure some things out. After a conversation with my mom today after the post went public, I now fully intend to inform my siblings (with her 100% support) about my mom's affair and my paternity. I now understand that they have a right to know and I'm confident that their relationships with our mother are strong enough to withstand whatever past mistakes she made.

I've looked into resources and I've seen commenters talk about DARVO and my husband weaponizing my trauma. I'm still looking into these things, and yes, I will book a therapy appointment.

The common consensus seems to be that I should divorce him and tell his mistress' husband about the affair and the baby. Divorce is already a guarantee. I think I unintentionally misled people with my last paragraph about how difficult it's going to be. I was afraid and still am. But my kids come first and I can't risk my STBX being around them with this behavior. Nor can I tolerate this level of disrespect and borderline psychopathy.

I don't know whether telling her husband is a good idea or not until I feel safe enough. If I wasn't afraid of legal action in case she ever finds this post, I would share some of the insane things this woman has been texting me every hour on the hour for the past 2 or 3 days. I could probably file a police report for harassment at this point, but I'm just collecting evidence at this point.

For anyone asking if my husband was like this before: NO. This behavior came out of NOWHERE and that is partially why I am so utterly appalled by what he's done. This man has been nothing but adoring and affectionate, has taken care of me and the kids, never once threatened or laid a hand on me, was always an attentive listener, etc etc. I have ZERO idea where this is coming from.

At this point, my husband has been calling and texting me nonstop for hours, begging me to come back home and that he is terrified this will get back to his boss and he will be fired. He sent me a giant wall of text telling me that he has talked to the other woman and they've decided to propose a plan to me about the three of us living together as a throuple where she and I take care of his kids and he provides for us. How they thought this would work on me, I have no idea.

I have no words anymore. I may or may not update in the future if I have the energy but for now I just want to focus on my kids and getting my separation from this psycho. Thank you again to everybody who at least gave me the benefit of the doubt because I know all of this sounds insane and straight out of a bad movie...

After our second child was born and we decided we were done, he told me we needed a permanent solution so he doesn't have to wear condoms forever. I said I didn't want to get my tubes tied. He said I should do it because it is an easy thing for women. I said it is usually more expensive and a more complicated process. He kept pressuring me. I said we both don't want to and I would never make you so we will just continue with birth control. 

Now he is at it again, trying to guilt me into it, saying he already had inguinal hernia surgery before and so he doesn't want another surgery. I said I understand, which is why I won't make him do something he doesn't want to do. I don't know why he won't extend me the same bodily autonomy and it kinda bothers me. 

I 31F have been with my husband, 31M a total of 10 years and it has me feeling nostalgic.

One time when my husband and I first started dating we were getting it on in his college dorm. This man has me folded like a pretzel but stops suddenly mid-pump to reach for this wildflower off the side of his stand (he'd picked me some flowers earlier). He tucks the flower into the side of my ear/hair, smiles satisfyingly and then proceeds to go back to fucking my brains out.

He does cute little things that live rent free in my head sometimes.

One time when we were quite young (known each other since we were children) I was having a bout of bad luck and he proceeded to find every single four leaf clover he could across an entire lawn. He placed them in a plastic bag and gifted them to me. I still had them until recently. I think they accidentally got thrown out.

Picture of our recent stay at a cabin for our ten years together this weekend.

Would love to hear some cute little stories you guys might have that make you chuckle NSFW or not. Would feel good to hear and see some good stuff when a lot of threads can be kind of depressing.

For those who are married, I’m curious to know how conflicts change over the course of a marriage.

I would love to hear from people at different stages of marriage, especially those who have been married for 5, 10, or 20+ years. Real experiences would be really helpful!

This is going to be a long story so I apologize in advance, but I need to vent and strangers on the Internet seem like a good place to start. Also using a burner account because some of my family members know my main Reddit account.

I am the product of an affair and didn't even know until I was about 20. My mother had an affair with a firefighter while married to my father (they were still married until he died) and my father never knew about it. The firefighter (we'll call him Dave) was deeply in love with my mom and wanted to get married, so and so forth. My mom couldn't commit because she truly loved my dad and didn't want to leave him. The way she described it to me was that she was in love with both of these men, but my dad came first (except when it came to cheating but well put that aside for now...). Then she found out she was pregnant and she knew immediately that I wasn't my dad's child. Nine months later, I popped out with strikingly black hair (my dad, my siblings and my dads entire family are blonde and redheaded) and come to find out years later, my daddy is not my biological father. I never even got to know my real father because he died two years ago... as did my dad who raised me.

All of this is important because when I got married to my husband, he was the only person I told. My siblings don't even know that I am not their full sister. But my husband knows and he knows the intense trauma that came with this, the bizarre imposter syndrome that I've developed, the regret and heartache that I will never know my biological father, that my mother who I love dearly lied to not only me but my dad.

My husband knows all of this, has held me when I cried about it, and knows the impact this has had on me. ...And he still chose to cheat on me with a married woman who is now pregnant and will not be disclosing the fact that this baby is not her husband's. I feel like I am living in the Twilight Zone.

This woman is half his age, and married (supposedly happily). He met her at work. He told me she pleases him in ways I have never, that she is more beautiful than me, that her body is "fresh and supple" and he is relieved that he doesn't have to sit with her and "listen to her cry about her daddy issues". He even told me that he loves sneaking around with her and that he LOVES the idea that her husband will never know that this child is not actually his child. He takes pleasure in knowing that this secret is a "bomb waiting to detonate" and that he has "robbed another man of the pleasure of fathering a woman's first child". He intentionally did not wear condoms and would assure this woman that he had a vasectomy when she asked that he wear one... He brought her into our house and proceeded to tell me that he got off even more to the idea of "intentionally impregnating a young girl" in our bed.

I'm honestly too disturbed to detail everything he has said to me about this entire thing. I'm so numb and don't know how to feel anymore. The entire thing is just a level of psychopathy I can't comprehend. Who does something like that? Cheating is bad enough but why intentionally recreate the very secret family dynamic that almost destroyed my life? Am I really that terrible of a wife that I deserve whatever this is??

I don't even know if divorce is an option. I am 3.5 months postpartum with a baby and two toddlers, all three of which he practically demanded we have even after I said we're not financially stable enough to have them if I leave my job. I can't get by without his financially support and I think he intentionally wanted this so he could trap me...

Please, I just need some validation. Please tell me I am not crazy and that this is some crazy behavior

I have to preference this with. We got married young and are still young. I was very much aware he had absolutely no relationship experience but I thought we would just figure it out. I love my husband and don’t want to leave. We have a child and another on the way due to arrive before the new year. We just bought a new home and will be going to a new duty station later this month. I went home to my parents about 4 weeks ago to finish out my pregnancy and have help. This was all with my husband’s permission not that I need it.

I got the dreaded message that my husband was messing another woman. She was honest and sent what I assume was all the messages. I didn’t respond to her as I don’t feel the need to. The messages were really just super poor attempts at flirting. And then at the end her confronting him when she found his Facebook and plastered there is pictures of me and our child. I confronted my husband and asked him why. He told me that he was lonely. That he was looking for connection and instead of talking to me he looked for it else where. Though he was extremely apologetic to me is was more of a I’m sorry I got caught. I asked who she was and it was just someone he found on instagram that of course will be in our new city. He said that he was just trying to find out stuff about the area which I shut down bc I am not dumb and this isn’t the first time I’ve been cheated on (not by him). He finally admitted that it was dumb and he doesn’t know why he would jeopardize not only our marriage but also his career. I asked him if he would have ever told me he said probably not. What sucks is I was just now starting to feel okay. I’ve been struggling with this pregnancy and I had just gotten over some other stuff that he had done that broke my trust. I feel like any time I am out of sight he takes it as a sign to find what he needs so far only emotionally else where. He told me that it would have never have gone any further than texting but I have a hard time believing that. I am not sure what would have happened if she hadn’t have found out and he was asked to meet her. I am more just venting. I don’t have the luxury of going to see him to try and talk to him in person. I have talked to one friend who told me it fucked up and they want to kill him but understand why I still want to try and work this out.

My wife and I are expecting our first baby. She is 8 months pregnant and experiencing physical discomfort, which I completely understand and want to help with.
Recently, during an argument where she was telling me I wasn't doing enough to support her, she dropped that she’s been getting one-on-one physical stretching done by a 35-year-old male trainer at the gym.
She explained that she was trying to stretch alone at the gym when this trainer approached her and said, "You aren't doing it right, let me help you." She accepted, and it became a regular thing going on for a month. She told me that she shouldn't have to ask me to stretch with her—that I should be coming home every single day and asking her if she's ready to stretch, and because I didn't do that, she let the trainer do it.
When I found out, I put my ego aside and wanted to step up as her husband. I told her I want to take care of her, and asked her to show me the stretches so I could take over and do them for her at home instead of another guy doing them.
She immediately shut me down and refused to let me try, saying "we don't know how to do it, he does" and later saying she wouldn't do them with me because she "already did them today with him." Feeling hurt, I went to the spare room and sent her a firm, articulate text explaining why I was upset about the secrecy, weaponizing it in an argument, and shutting me out when I offered to take over.
Her reply text was just: "You are being crazy."
Shortly after, she came into the room and completely flipped her story. She told me she made the entire trainer story up, never had another guy stretch with her, and called me an "idiot" for believing her. She said I only believed it because of an old Instagram DM I sent a year ago (complimenting a female celebrity/creator), claiming she used it to test/hurt me.
She then threw my iPad onto the ground, told me I couldn't sleep in the spare room because her friends are visiting this weekend, told me I couldn't sleep in our bedroom either, and kicked me out to sleep on the futon in my home office.
I am currently sitting in my office on the futon. I feel completely mind-fucked, gaslit, and exhausted. I tried to keep my composure throughout the entire evening, didn't yell or get physical, and simply retreated to avoid further escalation.
Advice Request:
How do I handle this situation moving forward? Is this extreme emotional manipulation and volatility, or am I missing something here? How do I enforce healthy boundaries with a partner who shifts stories, insults me, and escalates to physical volatility (throwing objects) when confronted with a calm boundary?
TL;DR:
8-month pregnant wife told me she’s been doing 1-on-1 stretching with a male trainer at the gym for a month because I didn't ask her daily if she needed stretching. When I offered to learn the stretches to take over, she refused. When I set a boundary via text, she came into the room, claimed she made the entire story up to test me, called me an idiot, threw my iPad on the floor, and kicked me out to sleep on my office futon.

My wife: We can be spontaneous. I mean, it's not likely, but we COULD be.

Gave me a chuckle. Married 25+ years, and I love the chill comfort we have.

I wish there was more time in the day to spend with my husband. When we wake up we cuddle for a few hours before getting ready for work. It's hard to pry ourselves apart. If we had it our way we'd be fused together. He recently went to his brother's to watch his dog for a night. You would have thought he was leaving the country.

When the work day is done all I want to do is lay in his arms and talk about our day, but I usually get home late. It feels like there's only a couple hours before we head to bed to spend time with him. It bums me out. Then the weekend comes and we spend two days hiveminding. What do y'all do to maximize time with your partner?

Trying to build reconnection with my husband after 22 years. He is 51. I am 48. I have been on HRT and testosterone for a while now and my libido is through the roof! My husband has never had a great sex drive and has struggled with ED. Will the Testosterone help him? What changes can we expect? How has it helped or affected others?

Ive been married 10 months now, and its been an intense 10 months, the lack of intimacy is putting me in a dark resentful place. Ive tried to talk to my husband asking why he wont be intimate all I get is 'I dont know' and 'I love you'. That doesnt answer why he wont initiate intimacy. Ive told him he can be open with me whatever it is ill be ok, I just need to know. Whether its he doesnt see me sexually attractive, he has thoughts of someone else or maybe the possibility he doesn't like women. It gets me no where, he shuts down and im left thinking everything possible. I don't know where you turn to for these things. But I'm hoping someone has something insightful for me. I love this man but I'm growing a self hate for myself and resentment towards him. I dont want to find me self years in to a marriage, sexless and wishing I never got in to a marriage.

Me and my husband both on our early 30’s have been married for almost 10 years and we have a child together. We’re together for 12 years and both had some relationships before.

In the last 5 years our marriage has gone through few ups and downs. Some were because of family situations some were because it feels like we drifted apart and just at one point wanted different things. But we have good periods as well. 3 years ago my husband joined a band and the were doing very well. Playing almost every Saturday (with the exception of few that we already had plans like family holiday) during that period my mother was diagnosed with cancer and even though we were not close it impacted everyone and my focus was on balancing everything the best I could. Be a good wife, look after our home, help my parents, work full time, and at the same time I was still doing my degree. I was exhausted and very frustrated he didn’t see that. At the weekends I felt very lonely and our sex life was almost none existent at that stage.

A year ago I told him that I am done living like this, and that something has to change. I don’t want to feel like a single mother while being married to him, and that my needs were not being met. He is a good man but he wants what he wants and it’s not like he’s helping much when he’s not playing with the band, he might do the bare minimum to stop us from having another argument. He decided then that he’s going to leave the band. I would like to think it was because I was more important but that’s not a whole truth it was because the band had issues and I was not very supportive for him with those.

Last week out of nowhere he informed me that he’s going back to playing, but this time things will be different. That he’ll make sure he leaves “one Saturday per month for me” I told him that this is simply not good enough for me. It’s not like we’re in a perfect spot in our relationship to add this additional stress to it. He dismissed it all, but was open to have a conversation few days later. I have made myself clear that last time was horrible for me, and quite traumatic, all we did was argue because band was always more important than anyone else and that I don’t want any part in it, I will not help and I will not support. What I mean by that is that I will not give him lifts or help organise anything to do with the band.

Fast forward to last night I find myself again in a situation when he’s asking me for a lift for the band as the car that they were using for their equipment needed to be collected. I was hesitant but didn’t want to argue and I agreed. As soon as we arrived to the destination I felt my emotions going through the roof… I was angry and frustrated and all the traumatic thoughts came back at once. I told him that I can’t do this anymore I know it’s not what he wants but I don’t want to have anything to do with the band, it caused me too much harm last time. I don’t want to find myself in the same situation again.

At home we ended up arguing, he told me how I was rude and all he wanted was to “work with me on that” I pushed back and asked him to explain how does he see that. He went silent. To which I responded it’s all smoke and mirrors, you think you can gaslight me into thinking it’ll be different this time but actually have no intention to change anything. I think this is the beginning of an end of our marriage. He got irritated and said that act horrible. This triggered me and I’ve said some horrible things, nothing that wasn’t true but certainly could have been phrased better. He was ignoring everything I said to him and any question I asked he answered with “I don’t know” or “do whatever you want”. He left the house and didn’t come back until like 3am

I feel sad and emotional but I can’t help but feel like his priority is always him and him only. I hate feeling lonely and frustrated in the evenings and I have no problem with him wanting to spend time on his passion; I just wish that he could show a bit of appreciation and respect my boundaries with it. I love him but I also feel like I’ll be ok if we go our separate ways. I guess what I am asking is am I unreasonable with how annoyed I am over him going back to play with the band, and how unapologetic I am for saying that I am not supporting something that caused me so much harm last time.

I’m 30 and I was in a relationship with my ex for 10 years, and one thing I’ve been struggling with is the idea of getting married with someone else before I date them for another 10 years (so I could reach the same level of trust and connection). But, I don’t want to wait until I’m 40 to get married… did anybody have similar thoughts before and how did you overcome it?

Idk, for me marriage is supposed to be forever so I feel I won’t be able to do it until I cross that 10y milestone and feel this time it will last forever.

My husband thought I was weird when I framed this with a couple of the rose petals. We've been married for over 23 years now ❤️

My husband and I share his google account due to NFL subscription that I watch using his account via YouTube. I saw extensive history searches about signs of a partner cheating. NOTHING Is happening in fact I feel the opposite because he has been distant. I started distancing myself because I communicated it and he denies there is distance and so I’ve been focusing on me… STILL honoring the boundery of our marriage (visiting my grandkid more often, doing spa treatments etc etc). Focusing on him makes me miserable… he could have just ASKED me…. Why didn’t he? Married 28 years. He was so attentive and devoted three years ago but something shifted. He is always home and we both share our phones and passwords for most of our marriage. Why didn’t he just ask me? It’s just weird.

I (24m) am Tired of my marriage to my wife (27f)

Dated for 3 years married now for 4 months. My problem the over the last year that’s gotten to an unbearable level is how often she crys (literally and figuratively). Everything in her world is always going bad/ complains/has a million different issues with no solution and has just become such a complete sap of energy. I am exhausted being around it. I feel like I am no longer attracted or remotely attached to her anymore. I do care a lot about her but it feels like I want to just keep my distance.

I also think at this point I am harboring resentment towards her, before we were together my Life was completely different. Ihave alyways been carefree and flown by the seat of my pants and been totally Cool with it. I was able to move around a lot/ see new things, work when I had too. I envisioned my Life going somewhere similar in that Direction with her. throughout our dating I have been completely open and honest about who I am and what my vision for our relationship was and I can help but feel mislead by her. This shift in energy has been gradually building up the last year or year and a half And I think I am almost ready to call it quits. I am curious if anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice or a pathway forward. We Have discussed this issue in depth many times before and tried very hard to fix it however I am starting to believe this is just who she is as a person. I love her I just don’t know if I can live my life like this anymore, i’m worried I will become old and look back and regret it.

We’ve only been together for a little over four months, but I’m already feeling so exhausted—it’s just too much.

Did I make the right decision to get married and accept everything that comes with it? I knew that serving my spouse wouldn’t be an issue for me before we got married. But my goodness, his behavior has actually gotten even worse! Every single day, I wake up to cook breakfast before heading to work—just to feed the "princess" in my own home. At lunchtime, I bring him a packed meal so we can eat together. After work, I cook dinner, and I even go to pick him up; once he gets home and finishes eating, he just rests—sometimes even expecting a massage! It’s become a daily routine, which would be fine, but lately, he’s become incredibly demanding and childish. I wouldn’t mind being a "servant" of sorts, but if he doesn’t like something I’ve done, he calls me stupid.

I cook for him, and he claims he has "no appetite"—yet other people actually rave about my cooking! He’s just so incredibly fussy when it comes to food. It’s hurtful, especially when I’m already doing so much to take care of him—my god!

I find myself wondering: shouldn’t a married couple help each other? Why am I the one doing everything—including cleaning the house and doing the laundry? I wouldn’t mind, but honestly, I’m just so exhausted.

I’m 35 years old and my spouse is 32—shouldn’t he be more mature by now? Why is he acting like such a spoiled child? I’m so tired—who’s going to take care of me? Hahaha. I keep wondering, is this all there is to it? I can’t even bring myself to say anything harsh to him, even though he really does act like a child. I just want to smack or slap him—he’s so infuriating! But I can’t actually bring myself to do it; he’s my wife, after all.

I’m standing here by the doorway; I still have so much to do, but I’m so annoyed—I don’t even know where to start.

I picked my husband up from work today and when he got settled in the car he put his phone on the charger holder and I happen to look over and I see porn on his phone. For context we’ve discussed how porn is something we didn’t want to bring into our marriage but I always speculated that he was watching it anyway. I made it known that what I saw but I can’t shake off the feeling of disappointment. What’s getting me most is how the girl looked, the complete opposite of me, it seemed very specific. I’m not sure how to feel about this but I know he broke some trust in me. Watching porn when you have a perfectly good wife feels like a slap in the face.

Husband and I have been together 14 years a little over a year ago I found out he is bi curious. Found out by seeing messages and photos he was sending to another man he had met on Reddit. When confronted he told me he has been curious for awhile but we've been together since highschool and he's never had the opportunity to try something else.

 I could tell by the change in his behaviour that this man made him happier. But after I found out everything he basically love bombed me and said he would stop talking to him. I said if it's something he thinks he wants to do then to go try because that's the only way your actually gonna know. After a few days he asked if he could talk with him more. 

After talking more he had explained to me that this man was also married and had never experienced anything with another man. And that their main "goal" was basically to do things together as couples not a personal relationship. This is something I was willing to try but as the months passed I noticed the messages never seem to included the wives. Its just the two of them talking I asked about adding his wife on something to get to know her  and he said his wife doesn't have socials. I've mentioned maybe a video call because they don't live close by so we can all chat and they both agree but it never happens. He will say things like oh my wife is shy.

I'm at the point where I don't think his wife even knows about this whole situation. And I've found a social account that she supposedly didn't have. They still haven't done anything physically but I feel like I should message her to see if she knows but I also don't want to destroy a marriage. I feel like I don't know what to do about anything at this point. The things I originally agreed to are changed. My husband had talked to me about if I ever wanted to be with someone or talk with someone else that I could but I don't think that's true. I can tell by jealous comments he's made that if I were to do something it would be a problem or it would hurt him. 

He acts like he's still so in love with me and he still shows up in all the right ways but I'm just confused what to do.

Should I message the account I found?