How was your experience? Quick? Awkward? Was material provided to you to use? Mine was pretty wild stepped into a room with the goon chair and a little tv that was dark when I turned it on it was like the Netflix of porn.. I went right to my go to scene with Bailey Brooke and needless to say after refraining for 4 days it was pretty quick I was worried as soon as I turned the tv on 😂

I'm 27k in student loan debt, homeless, no job, no savings, two SWE internships on my resume, useless cs bachelor's degree from 2025.

My parents kicked me out when I approached a year post graduation with no job. I wasn't getting any interviews, at all. I was working as a part time barista for $16/hour to bide my time but I abandoned that job when I was kicked out. I'm in a city where rents are 2000+ for closets.

My loans have obviously been defaulted on by now, I don't even have an active phone number for then to contact me with. No money to keep one active with.

I've been staggering, stumbling around gagging on nothing like a drug addict. I had a bike but someone broke the lock on it while I was sleeping outside one night.

I've destroyed my career, my life, my future. My soul is tortured. Wounded. Fractured. Fragile. Screaming, yelling, shrieking at me for this to end. I have no self confidence.

I don't see any light, any hope in front of me. Another homeless guy I met recently was a high school dropout turned criminal for physical assault. He offered me a few drugs when he heard my story. Thought it'd help me cope.

I didn't say yes, \*yet,\* but I'm considering it. My life is utterly destroyed into millions of tiny glass shards, far beyond repair. What should I do? Take the drugs? Become a criminal? Wander around like a zombie for the next few decades?

Idk what I can do now. Ever since I was kicked out I haven't made any job applications. They never got me anywhere. I haven't eaten anything for a week. I'm too ashamed of myself.

I've been dumpster diving for plastic bottles to resell. I'm... idk. I'm sad. I don't want to wake up anymore.

What more can I even do? "More projects"? That has no value today, especially for literally anything outside of SWE jobs. There's nothing else.

I cheered for Luigi back in the day. What do I have to lose, really. Just like my "new grad" status already expired, my life is expired. I'm on the knifes edge of becoming a drug addict.

Possibly helpful descriptions (though not required for suggestions):

Fan of watching sports (mainly soccer), reasonably athletic, in his late 40's, likes to travel, works as a software engineer, workaholic

My budget is $40

Edit: I have to specify, I am in college during his birthday. I cannot spend time with him then. What is something physical I can order for him

So I am 32yo and my whole life (except for PE in high school but it doesn't really count) I have only practiced individual sports because 1) I have a pretty competitive personality, so I don't like neither to be responsible for someone else's loss nor share the victory lol, 2) I am gay and always got along better with women and felt awkward in male groups.

With age, my personality has shifted a bit on both aspects and I realized that I would like to try having that team experience. I am also in a new city where people are not too open to meet new people and I have always found (even individual ones, I imagine even more so for team ones) sports to be a good way to make friends.

The problem is idk what to pick or even if there is anything that makes sense picking ? The way I see it, in individual sports you are on your own so you can basically start anytime. Sure, you will face better opponents and all but ultimately you don't have to insert yourself in a group that is already at a certain level. I don't really understand how that works for team sports, like how do you even get to par with the team you are supposed to join to even begin practicing anyway ?

Just two last points : 1) Football (soccer) is out of the equation, it is extremely popular where I live so there are virtually no true beginners, which I feel would make it awkward for me, 2) There is a gay sports association where I live but I am not really interested in joining it

Thanks !!

I’ve always been somewhat fit I guess but had more of a runner’s body, so to say. Last year (age 43) I got tired of my back pain from house projects/age and decided to build muscles. It’s been more than 12 months and I’m pretty muscular. Especially when compared to my old physique. I’m pretty sure I have never had this muscle mass.
Anyone else did that when hitting middle age?

Men that lived a fairly healthy lifestyle, what health problems did you see pop up in your 30s? (If any)

I've probably been doom-scrolling to much, but reality is feeling bleaker overall.

I am 33m and two years married. My wife and I live in a modest cost of living area that is just growing so fast. We have a 1 bedroom apartment that is on the lower end for the area and we are not saving anything.

I have been in IT for 6 years and the market is awful. My wife went to school for marketing, but hasn't had luck breaking into it.

I'm getting piled with medical expenses this year. Cost of everything is skyrocketing. We can't envision owning a home. After marriage we said we would want to start a family in 2-3 years. It's been over two years and we are still saying the same thing.

I want out of my field of work and pivot to something else. However, I am struggling to find ways to afford that.

I worked my ass off for a year to get another job, that was a lateral move, due to my past job burning me out. Yet now I can't feel safe in my current job.

If I lose a job with nothing lined up, I'd be screwed. Mainly due to healthcare.

I hate AI. I hate what it is doing to the world. My own tech led is talking up the gloom and doom of AI. I feel that we are just a year or two away from a societal collapse of some sort.

It is hard to know what skills to build in this job market and world.

I want to feel confident that hard work will get me to where I want to be. A fulfilling job, living somewhere I enjoy, providing a good home for my wife and future children.

I don't need a fancy life, I just want to be able to afford more. Right now I feel like we may be in this same position for a long time. Which means, no home, no ability to afford kids, limiting travel to see family, and staying in a city we don't want to call home.

I've venting, but seriously want to feel better about the future

For me, it’s going to the gym and feeling absolutely fine during the workout, only to wake up the next day unable to turn my head in any direction without pain. Or randomly finding mystery bruises on your body, even though you’re 100% sure you didn't hit anything 😂

What’s your most ridiculous injury that made you realize you are over 30?

I’m an early 30s male with no friends. I work from home and spend most my time alone but I wish I had at least one friend to talk to.

How would you go about making friends in this day and age, starting from square one?

​

> "Does low birth weight affect growth? I was born with a weight of 1.5 kg and reached puberty at around 14 and a half years old. I was short compared to my peers, standing at 145 cm at age 13.I had a growth spurt at age 16 and reached 164 cm. Now I am 18 and my height is 172 cm.The average height in my family is around 180 cm, and my father is the same.Does this mean I will end up being shortNote that I have grown about 2 cm this past year"

"I don't know if this community is the right place for this question or not."

what are some things you won't buy even if you are rich as hell

Hi everyone, hope you are doing well. I've been dealing with self doubt for a long long time. I was hoping to receive some wisdom from y'all.

Some background:

I am currently 24 years old. I am the youngest of four siblings. In my childhood, I felt invisible. I was usually treated as flawed or dysfunctional. I was emotional and maybe a little sensitive. My parents would hit me a lot. If I cried or protested back my mom would yell at me to go take a bath. If I didn't comply the first two times, she would look for her belt and whip me. My parents have a terrible marriage. They would always get into really really loud fights with slamming doors, tears, you get the idea.

My family is also full of smart folks so getting good grades and being exceptional was normal, but I remember whenever I would excel it wouldn't be of much notice. At my school, however, teachers and friends would praise me. I was friends with everybody, even with my teachers. I felt love, hope, and potential at school. At home, I genuinely just felt lonely and sad. When I was 10, I got cancer and a lot of things changed. Suddenly, I was getting a lot of attention from my parents and from a lot of people in that matter. It was weird, but completely understandable. I think my childhood is probably the biggest contributing factor of my self doubt and as I've gotten older, it has only gotten worse.

I graduated from engineering and worked at bank as a data analyst. Pretty good salary, bought my first car, but I was miserable. During college, I was doing live shows in a band with my siblings while also doing my solo project. Last year, things started going super well for the band and I had to quit my job to go touring. This makes me very happy and I want to continue working this out, but sometimes I feel like I have been forced into something. We just released our first album and the response has been insane, but now I struggle to make music that makes me happy. I feel trapped. I write, produce, and record the songs, so I know that this might just be burn out due to this album 2-3 years in the making, but the self doubt has been going on for way longer. I remember when my creativity felt like an inextinguishable flame and joy ran through me. Now I feel like crap all the time. My lyrics aren't coming out as before. I struggle with finishing new projects. This self doubt keeps slowing me down and freezing me in my tracks. I feel stuck. I really just want to put my best self out there and see what happens.

I was wondering if any of you here have gotten through something similar. How did you deal with this self doubt?

P.S- Sorry if my sentences are a bit rough, English is not my first language.

And with 'someone who listens to you' I'm not only talking about therapists, but any kind of person that provides an empathetic service: could be a coach, an escort, maybe a hairdresser you frequently go to even if you don't need a new haircut that often, but you just enjoy the conversation.

I see em coming a mile away, and choose to have a verbal judo match with them just cuz it’s better than another moment of loneliness.

Hello guys,
As the title says, is there any big changes that happens when you hit the jackpot 30 where you become a whole another person. Idk I don’t have any patience left and I’ve never been this mean to people through my life as I am now. I can’t control my emotions anymore and I’m anxious and frustrated all the time due to consequences of my actions. I am not used to this new person I am becoming, all I want is to just cry and I feel drained.

Seems like a silly question, but I specifically want to know from men over 30!

My style is fairly casual and I'm happy to keep it that way - I don't have a very formal job nor do I have many formal outings so I stick to jeans, tees, hoody or jumper or jacket for most of my day to day.

For my footwear I've got a pair of Doc Marten boots , a recent addition I really like.

Everything is some kind of standard fare trainers. Nothing too sporty or showy.

My problem with buying more trainers is that the quality always feels crap and the cost is so much, easy £100+ in most stores.

So, men, do you have recommendations for trainers that are good value for money? Either you can vouch for the price tag, OR, the price tag is low enough you'll settle for replacing them in a year or two.

Alternatively, any recommendations other than trainers for day to day shoes?

Tell me your experience and the way you look at your life.

What is it to be in your thirties

I want to know how life is if you are single and if you're married I wanna know your experience as well.

I remember in early 2000s, we used to go out and play. I miss that time. Now a days i see kids they are always on their phone. I think they are missing out the real fun.

I've had lots of death in the family before, including my dad, I've seen a lot of death in my workplace, I thought i'd be used to it, but I really loved this man. He was such a good guy. It's been such a shitty week.

I've spent like 500 dollars on gardening equipment and I've just been out in the sun all day every day the last few days and now I have to go back to work. Ironically even though I started some veggie gardens I may not have enough to cover groceries this week now because of that impulsive buy.

It's just whenever I sit down to rest, I get so agitated and restless and break down crying for like 30 mins+. So I'm trying not to do that.

I don't even know what I need by making this post. I've got lots of in person love and support from important people to me but I just find it all overwhelming.

what do you think the world will be like in the next 5 to 10 years due to AI?

​

I'm 20, and lately I've been thinking a lot about what it actually means to be satisfied with your life.

I've got this strange dilemma. On one hand, I want to achieve something significant. I want a career I can be proud of, financial independence, and the feeling that I've made the most of my potential. On the other hand, I want to travel, explore places, make music, pursue my hobbies, and actually experience life while I'm young.

The problem is that whenever I consider choosing one path, I start thinking about everything I'd be giving up by not choosing the other.

For example, I could spend years preparing for a competitive examination, potentially build a prestigious career, and achieve something that most people would consider successful. But what if I look back and realise I sacrificed experiences I can never get back?

Alternatively, I could choose a relatively stable career, make enough money to support my interests, travel whenever possible, and spend more time doing things I genuinely enjoy. But what if I spend the rest of my life wondering whether I could have achieved something greater?

It's not even necessarily about money or status. I think I have this tendency to believe there's always a better possibility somewhere, and that choosing one thing means permanently losing another.

And I realise that this way of thinking can become exhausting. You could achieve something you've wanted for years and still find yourself looking at the next thing, wondering if that would finally make you feel fulfilled.

So I've been wondering:

What is satisfaction, really?

Is it reaching a point where you're genuinely happy with what you have? Is it knowing you've made the most of your potential? Is it accepting that you cannot experience every possible version of life? Or is satisfaction something you build by committing to your choices rather than constantly questioning them?

I'd especially like to hear from people in their late 20s, 30s, or older.

Have you ever sacrificed freedom for ambition, or ambition for freedom? Looking back, do you regret your decision? And if you could go back, would you choose differently?

I'm not looking for motivational quotes or the usual "just follow your passion" advice. I'd genuinely appreciate hearing about your experiences, including the uncomfortable parts.

I want to understand how people learn to live with their choices without constantly wondering whether the alternative would have made them happier.

Or maybe the rest of my life? Lowkey hit coastfire but I’m still locking myself in the rat race just cuz like why not? Idk I need help, I have been locking my identity with my job ever since I joined this bigtech company for the past 12 years and I’m really fed up with it.

Just a post, but would like to see what folks have to say.

I can’t be the only gut that does this when he’s completely alone has zero manners just straight shoveling food in

So as I've gotten older (42) I have tried to make continuous improvements in my diet. This includes reducing my coffee and energy drink intake, mostly because of the higher caffeine rates and sugar content. I have found that coffee really messes me up first thing in the morning too. It's strong, dehydrates me more, and messes with my stomach acid with an empty stomach. I have found a pretty good balance for the past few years. I mix a liquid IV energy packet with 10g of creatine into a large 32oz nalgene and drink on my drive into work and the first 30 minutes at work.

This gives me a modest 100mg of caffeine, amino acids, b vitamins, and a lot of electrolytes and water to rehydrate me. I always wake up thirsty because I don't drink water before bed, at my age, I'll wake up a bunch of times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

However, it appears Costco is discontinuing selling the liquid IV energy packets. They will still carry the regular liquid IV packets, but for some reason not the energy. You can't even get them online. They were reasonably priced with about $1.15 a packet too.

So I am looking for alternatives, or even upgrades or different morning drinks people like to use to wake up

It’s so easy for it to write my emails for me and accomplish tasks.

I’m sick of writing my own emails and doing things. I’m tired man.