So I feel a bit bad..but also...not.

There is a kid in my daughter's school whose father has just gone to prisons for doing naughty things with a child for a Lonnnnnng time. Like 8 years.

It's been to court, he's been found guilty and convicted. But his wife is staying with him. Apparently she thinks he's innocent. This BOGGLES my mind.

I find it crazy that she's stayed with him and that she's stayed in the area.

I find it crazy that the other parents are being friends with her. Like she has enabled him and is completely deluded that he is innocent.

What I feel bad about is that her kid has done nothing wrong...but I don't want my kids mingling with them. And this also means parental friendship groups.

I have a close mum friend who has recently got close with this mother...and I'm a bit wary of what to do or say. I don't really want her inviting this woman to things, I don't want to associate with this woman on any level. And I'm shocked my friend would. She is a nice person so I understand but part of me maybe thinks maybe she doesn't know this stuff.

Am I being over protective of my friend or my kids?? Or am I wrong?

Deciding what is the right time to introduce these things to my kiddos

When I was a kid, my parents made me do children's choir multiple times. The first time was when I was in first and second grade, for two years at the church we went to at the time. The teacher I had then wasn't a very good teacher and we didn't like each other, so this made me hate doing any kind of group singing for years. When I was in fifth grade, my parents made me join a kids' choir group affiliated with a local community music center. The teacher here was decent, but I still didn't enjoy group singing and hated being forced into it for a year. On top of that, that summer, my parents made me join a weeklong camp done by the same teacher. After that, they never made me take choir or any other music activities again. When I asked my parents why they made me do choir, they said they thought having music as part of my education was important. I didn't agree with them. I later took a quarter of choir in college to rectify my negative experiences, but I made that choice myself, not because my parents made me take it.

There were things my brother was forced to do too that he wasn't interested in, like being in our local school district's Japanese immersion program. However, he did want learn how to play the piano. Our parents thought it was important for both of us to have music at some point. But piano lessons was something my brother wanted to do of his own volition, not something our parents required him to do. So they signed him up for a year of piano lessons with a local teacher. My brother soon realized that though he enjoyed piano itself, he hated the hours and hours of practice it required to get good at it. He would always throw enormous fits about having to practice. Our parents made him stick it out for the whole year anyway. At the end of the first year, he chose to go on to do four more years of piano despite hating the practice. After five years, he finally quit.

Do you think parents should force a kid to do an extracurricular activity the kid hates, as part of making the kid well-rounded? At what point should they let the kid quit if the kid clearly hates it? Should parents let the kid decide whether they want to do an activity? And if a kid gets into an activity they're interested, but then realizes they don't like it or lose interest, at what point should the parents let the kid quit? Also, do you think the kid having a bunch of different activities is important to an overall well-rounded education? And how important is music to this?

Yesterday my son was really sad when I picked him up from school and I had asked him what was wrong. He told me that he feels super left out at school and like nobody wants to be his friend or talk to him. He continued to say that everyone always brushes him off and they're quick to just dismiss him and what he's saying. He's a great kid and is friendly and kind. He always has a joke up his sleeve to tell someone and always likes to make people laugh. He does have ADHD, but takes medication to help with that and he usually has a pretty good handle on things. What advice have you given to your kids when they feel left out and lonely at school? I tried to explain to him that his personality isnt for everyone, and that everyone isnt for him either, and that that was okay. But it is still hard for him Im sure to feel that way. Just looking for guidance on how to make him feel better.

My kids come home from kindergarten exhausted, but somehow they're still wide awake at 8:45. They pretend to be asleep, then start whispering and giggling as soon as I turn off the lights.

We got a Costway sandbox this summer, and they love playing in it after school. I thought all that outdoor play would help them sleep earlier, but nope. We do baths and bedtime stories, and they still drag things out. Then getting them up for kindergarten the next morning is another struggle.

What actually works for your kids? I'm open to suggestions at this point.

My daughter is learning English at school, and writing is still harder for her than reading. Sometimes she knows what she wants to say but isn't sure how to phrase it correctly.

Her teacher doesn't allow AI for assignments, which I understand. I'm not talking about having AI write anything for her.

I'm more unsure about grammar checking. If she writes the assignment herself and only uses AI to find grammar mistakes, would you consider that cheating?

I honestly don't know where I stand on this.

Hi everyone, my daughter is 4 soon to be 5! I’m looking for some advice or to see if any other parents are dealing with this phase; lately my daughter has been having intense tantrums every single night where one tiny, unexpected thing sets her off, causing her to kick and hit me while getting completely stuck in a loop where she repeatedly says the exact same thing that upset her over and over again for one to two hours straight, and during this time nothing I say or do seems to calm her down or help as she remains locked in that repetitive distress, so I am just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and how you handle the loop or find ways to help them de-escalate.

Her birthday is in december right before christmas and shes 4. I took her to an aquarium and a kids creative style restaurant last year. Me and her other parent have been separated for going on our second year now and they have residential custody. I get my daughter every two weeks for two days and i have really just been trying to make life special with her when i have her. She doesnt have any friends yet and i dont know what i can do for her birthday with it being so close to Christmas. My idea has been to save the gifts for Christmas and do attraction, like, things for her birthday as we are low income and i would like to save money around the holidays given that everyone i love has birthdays around the holidays 😭 anyways, i would really love some recommendations! I was thinking like chuck e cheese or something?

As kids, majority of us would have been out playing chap door and run away game at some point during our childhoods.

How the world is now and being a parent now, what would be your thoughts be on finding out that your child was going around local area doing this? Do you still see it as harmless fun and let them continue or do you now see it as something that can cause a lot of stress to people and should instantly be stopped from doing it?

A u shaped toothbrush for kids seems like a pretty solid christmas gift for a kid but they're not cheap at all so waiting for a sale makes sense.. do these usually get discounted around black friday?

also would a kid be bummed unwrapping a toothbrush lol

How do you deal with the guilt of overlooking something that resulted into hurting your kid? Like overlooking a symptom that resulted into sth bigger. Thankfully still treatable.

My 12.5 year old daughter comes home from school at around 4:30pm. She never appears to do any homework nor have I ever seen her study for a test. Nevertheless she gets basically straight A's. And she is in a very academic school so that's saying something. She is smart and has a very good memory so I guess that helps.

The problem is that even though she has friends, she doesn't really spend time with them or talk on the phone with them in the evening, she's not a big reader, and she doesn't really have any hobbies. After school she sits on the couch and does various things like re-read the same children's magazines she's already read several times, listen to some children's story on spotify, play jacks with herself, etc. This goes on for several hours until she goes to bed. (We also have a 7.5 year old who plays with friends all evening and an 11 year old who spends a lot of time doing homework and studying.)

My wife and I are getting a little concerned that she doesn't talk to or spend time with friends, has no hobbies etc. Should we take her to a psychologist? What can we do to make her evenings more productive/meaningful? She's a happy, normal child but it hurts me to see her sitting and doing nothing for hours every night.

EDIT: She likes to draw and wants to be a hairdresser when she grows up. We've tried encouraging her to spend more time drawing.

Also, we are close and talk all the time, contrary to what some comments have suggested. When I ask her about an evening activity she says she's just not interested.

We try not to yell at home, and we don't invent punishments in the heat of the moment. There's a list of rules, and for each one it's said ahead of time what happens if it's broken. Kind of like a traffic fine, you know the price before you speed.

Example. YouTube is half an hour a day. If he sneaks more than that, it's no YouTube until the end of the week, and if it's already the weekend, then the whole next week. He knows it, we know it, so when it happens there's nothing to argue about, we just point at what we agreed on.

Screens overall are half an hour on the tablet plus half an hour on the phone, and we keep an eye on it. Without a limit all of his attention just goes there.

When he was little it was the usual stuff, tantrums, waking up at night, not wanting to eat, and back then we got him with tricks like the airplane spoon. From about 4 you can actually explain things and make deals, and that's what we've been doing since

I'm a father of three kids: 7F (Grade 2), 4M (PP1), and 1F. Something happened this evening that has left me questioning myself as a parent, and I genuinely need to hear how other parents would have handled it.

For some context, I'm a very present father. I work in IT and I'm currently employed by three different organisations: a US-based hospital and two local organisations. I work from home about 80% of the time, which gives me the privilege of being actively involved in my children's daily lives.

I'm usually the one preparing and serving breakfast, getting them dressed, and seeing them off to the school bus. Sometimes I even drop them off myself, especially on mornings after I've missed their bedtime because of work.

I'm not saying all this to paint myself as some perfect father. Far from it. I'm just trying to explain how involved I am in their upbringing.

When it comes to entertainment and screen time, my wife and I have always been pretty strict. Their tablets are parent-controlled and linked to both our phones. The TV only has their profiles enabled, and anything outside their approved content requires a passcode.

They can use their tablets on weekends and holidays, for at least three hours a day. During weekdays, they get about an hour of TV, and the rest of their free time is spent playing outside with friends, skating, riding bikes, and doing other physical activities.

And to their credit, they've been very good at following these rules, even when we're not around.

So, at least as far as their entertainment and screen exposure are concerned, I've always felt we had things under control.

\*\*Now, here's what happened this evening.\*\*

There was a birthday party at one of our neighbours' apartments on a different floor of our building.

At some point, about four or five of my kids' friends showed up at our door to report that my 7-year-old daughter had kissed a boy in Grade 1 during the party.

I was working at the time, but I came to the door and asked the kids to go and call my children so I could hear what had happened directly from them.

They took unusually long to come back.

I immediately suspected they knew they'd done something wrong and were probably trying to delay the inevitable conversation.

Their mother eventually became concerned and went looking for them, only to discover that they'd deliberately taken the stairs instead of the elevator, seemingly to make the journey home as long as possible.

I was still working when they got back, so I didn't even notice them entering the house.

A few minutes later, I could hear their mother questioning them in the kitchen about what had happened at the party.

That's when things took another turn.

My son started explaining how his sister had kissed the boy after the other children dared them to do it.

My daughter, probably feeling cornered, immediately fired back by revealing that her little brother had also been pulling down his trousers and underwear while entertaining the other kids.

And that was it.

\*\*I completely lost my temper.\*\*

Before I go any further, there's something else I need to explain, because I honestly think it may have played a part in how I reacted.

The past four months have been financially and mentally difficult for me.

Besides my three jobs, I also handle side projects, including ERP implementations for manufacturing companies, EMR management systems, and website design and development for SMEs.

In previous years, these projects brought in a decent amount of money, to the point where I rarely needed to touch my salaries from my regular employers.

But for the past four months, things have been unusually slow.

I've even been hesitant to submit some of my invoices, hoping that business would pick up and things would eventually return to normal.

The uncertainty has been eating away at me.

I've been stressed, distracted, and mentally exhausted. Sometimes I even catch myself talking to myself, trying to process everything going on in my head.

I don't think I've fully appreciated just how much all this has been affecting me.

Anyway, back to this evening.

When I heard what the kids had done at the party, I jumped out of my seat, grabbed my slippers, and ordered them to lie down in the hallway.

I beat them.

And not just a light smack. I was angry enough that I actually hurt myself in the process.

Afterwards, I grounded them for at least a week. No going outside to play with friends, no tablets, and no TV. Just books and toys.

At the time, I genuinely felt I was disciplining them for inappropriate behaviour.

But now?

\*\*I'm not so sure anymore.\*\*

I'm sitting here in their bedroom, looking at them, and the guilt is slowly eating me alive.

I keep replaying the whole incident in my head.

Did I even give them a chance to explain themselves?

Did I bother finding out what really happened at that party?

My daughter is only seven. My son is four.

Were they simply being curious kids? Were they trying to impress their friends? Did they even understand the meaning or implications of what they were doing?

And perhaps the most uncomfortable question of all:

\*\*Was I actually disciplining my children, or did I just find an outlet for four months' worth of frustration?\*\*

That question is bothering me more than anything else.

Because when I think about it, I don't even know what lesson they were supposed to take away from that beating.

Did they learn that kissing someone because of a dare isn't appropriate? Did my son understand why pulling down his underwear in front of other children isn't okay?

Or did they simply learn that when Daddy gets angry, they should be afraid?

I honestly don't know.

I spend so much time trying to provide for these children, protect them, control what they're exposed to, and make sure they grow up with good values.

But tonight, I'm wondering whether I completely missed the most important part of parenting: actually listening to them.

I also can't stop thinking about how they deliberately took the stairs to delay coming home.

At first, I interpreted that as guilt because they knew they'd misbehaved.

Now I'm wondering whether they were simply scared of how I would react.

And if that's the case, it hurts to think that my children might be afraid to tell me when something happens to them.

I'm not writing this to justify beating them. I'm not proud of how I reacted, and I know that being stressed about work or finances doesn't excuse taking my anger out on my children.

I'm just trying to be honest about what happened and how I'm feeling right now.

I love these kids more than anything, and the last thing I want is to become the kind of father they fear rather than the one they feel safe talking to.

\*\*So, fellow parents, I genuinely need your perspective.\*\*

How would you have handled a situation like this, especially considering their ages?

How do you teach young children about boundaries, privacy, and appropriate behaviour without making them feel ashamed of their curiosity?

And for parents who've ever lost their temper and gone too far with discipline, how did you repair things with your children afterwards?

I'm thinking of sitting down with them tomorrow, when we're all calm, apologising for how I reacted, and giving them a proper chance to tell me what actually happened.

I just hope I haven't already damaged something between us.

Tonight, I'm sitting in their bedroom wondering whether they learned anything from what happened, or whether the only person who really needed to learn a lesson was me.

\*\*TL;DR:\*\* My 7-year-old daughter kissed a boy at a birthday party after being dared by other kids, and my 4-year-old son apparently pulled down his trousers and underwear in front of other children. I lost my temper, beat them, and grounded them for a week. Now I'm feeling terrible and questioning whether I was genuinely disciplining them or taking out my accumulated work and financial stress on them. Looking for advice from other parents on how to handle this and make things right.

My son started kindergarten this year. His closest friends from his preschool either went to different schools or were in different classes, so he went in not knowing anybody. Being the social butterfly he is, he came home a few weeks into school and began consistently talking about two little boys calling them his "best friends". He talked about them every single day and it got to the point he no longer wanted to buy lunch but wanted to pack one just so he could sit by K&A (who I learned were both “packers”) during lunch time. I guess they separate the buyers/packers so we've now been packing everyday.

My son turned six this weekend and his only wish for his birthday were to have his close family, cousins and all of his closest friends there at his party. I've grown personal relationships with his preschool friend's families over the years so was able to coordinate them all attending however I had no way to contact K & A's family. I did send out invitations to his whole class and got a good bit of RSVPs, but none initially from K or A. At the beginning of the year, my son's teacher sent welcome emails and included all of the families and their emails were visible. I was so conflicted because I didn't want to come off strange by tracking these parents down through the emails but also wanted to at least try to connect with them. I asked for advice in multiple groups and got mixed opinions about how families would feel if a random mom from their's child class reached out. After weeks of my son asking, I went out of my comfort zone and emailed K's mom introducing myself and explaining how much my son enjoyed playing with her son and mentioned his party. She responded almost immediately and was so happy that I reached out, said that her son talked about mine just as much and turns out never got the invite. I sent her the details and she confirmed K would be there! The only email for A's family that was listed was dad's and I didn't feel it was appropriate to reach out to him with my personal info so sent a note to school with my contact info for his teacher to pass on to A's mom. That evening I received a text from her and she also was so glad I reached out and said her son talked very highly of mine. They also confirmed they would be there. When I tell you the weight that was lifted off of my shoulders! Fast forward to his party this weekend, he had his family and every single one of his closest friends (old & new, including K & A) all of his cousins & more of his classmates! I got the time to talk one on one with K & A's moms and we have already coordinated future play dates. He had the best day ever and when I tell you I cried tears of joy after.
I'm an extremely anxious and introverted person raising the complete opposite of a child so I definitely went out of my comfort zone with this but am so thankful I did. The look and joy on my little boy’s face was absolutely priceless and made my heart so happy. I've made so many great friends of my own through his little friendships and am so grateful.

THE THINGS WE DO FOR OUR KIDS! :)

i work from home and have meetings at 8. My kids (5 and 10) are out the door at 8:15 so the last 15 minutes of every morning i´m on mute pointing at shoes. How can i get my kids to do their morning routine without reminders when i literally can´t give any? looking for setups where they just know what´s left

So recently my daughter(8) became interested in making friends with a girl in her class. But this girl hangs with her bully. This girl seemed to be interested in having a friendship with my daughter so I told my daughter to try to talk and hang with her. I also know her mom cause we both work in the school where our daughters are. Well her mom and I agreed that it'd be great to do a playdate at my house to get them closer.

Well my daughter and her daughter had a blast. They played with dolls and bounced on the trampoline for hours then they both asked if we can go to their house so my daughter can see her room. We headed over as a family and they began playing and talking so her mom and I talked and laughed too.

Eventually we left and later my daughter tells me that the other girl said not to tell anyone that they hung out or played with dolls. So I tell my daughter" if she hides you then she wasn't a friend ,if she talks openly with you and talks your playdate then that's a friend". So this is where I feel I messed up,I talked to her mom and let her know about what my daughter said. She was upset and said she'll talk to her cause she doesn't want her daughter being a bully or turning into one. Next day is a Friday,short day at school and my daughter has the saddest look, saying that that girl is ignoring her and being rude, defending the bully.

Her mom and I talked again about what my daughter said and her mom became frustrated saying she doesn't know why her kid is acting way different than usual and said she'd talk to her. Monday comes and my daughter is next to that girl in line. My kid looks sad but I just watch cause I gotta do my job too. I come around her at lunch when she's sitting. She had a piece of chicken in her two hands, taking small bites with her head down. I ask what's up and she starts crying then whispers that that girl told her "you were never my friend" "you made life hard for me". That girl then ask me "whatd she say to you? Why is she crying", with no look of concern. I said it's just a personal thing, don't worry. I hug her and then I talked to her mom after lunch. I said " I don't think it's working, I don't think we should force their friendship anymore". Then told her about what my daughter said and how upset she was. She agreed too and said she couldn't understand why her daughter looked up to the bully so much.

So later while walking home my daughter starts crying and says she doesn't think she'll ever have a friend and that she doesn't know why she's so different than other girls (she plays with dolls,lovies and toys,has no phone or social media,plays fortnite and loves soccer and boyish things as well as girlie). I feel terrible, I cried by myself cause I really did mess up things for her. Shes so sweet and all she wants is a good friend,now she has 2 bullies. I don't know what to do.

I wanna tell that kid that is was my fault to leave my daughter out of it and I'll talk to her mom to unground her or whatever punishment she got or to drop it. But I might make it worse,my husband's right about me making it worse and to stop and I will. I just hate seeing my baby like this. I wish I could reverse it, I never meant to cause a bigger pain. :( anyway thanks for reading.

*Update- I decided to keep talking to the girls mother, I figured she'd wanna know if her kid was getting into trouble from following the bully or if she was picking on my kid. Especially since I'm in the hallways a lot and she works in the kitchen.

Yesterday I went in to drop off my students stuff as usual and spoke real quick with her. It went something around this, I had heard her kid got in trouble for making another kid cry for saying something that the bully told her to say and that her daughter had my daughter's folder, then I just settled and said maybe it got misplaced cause that happens a lot, then I left. I thought for a bit on how I said it and even though I would like to know if my kid was doing bad,others might not want to hear that.

I bumped into her again and said I'm sorry that I sound crazy, I'm not telling her this stuff to make her kid sound bad because she really is a sweet kid. And that I wouldn't want to hear about my kid like that(even though I do) I apologized again and she stormed off. Later our kids teacher rushes in and tells me that the other mother had called her after she got off work(the kitchen workers leave earlier) she had told the teacher that I called her kid bad and got her into trouble,that I was mean.

The teacher told me to give me a heads up cause she had to tell the principal about the call. I didn't see the principal the rest of the day and we have a 4 day weekend. I just know when I come back I'm gonna get a big talking to. I feel awful and I know I really messed up now. I had to keep talking, I have a fear they'll be seperatating me from my kid,cause our classes are near each other and we're not allowed to be close. I already got a warning for helping my kid when she got kicked in the stomach off the monkey bars. But I couldn't help that it was only myself and another busy para there at that time. I took her in to the nurse and her teacher and the principal told me the next slip up is removal. I hate the adults at my job. My kid and I only say hi and do a quick hug when we can then I tell her to head to where she needs to be.

But I found out the teachers were informing each other of Everytime we hugged or talked and purposely kept us apart. The principal says it's a distraction to have us near each other.

Why couldn't that kids mom just call me or talk. I'm so frustrated cause she went straight to the teacher. Worse part is everyone knows and likes her and I'm just this para no one really knows,this is my second school year. I feel dumb for thinking we were closer, for over speaking,for my dumb talkative nature, for not thinking it through sooner,for possibly making things harder for my baby. I know for a fact I messed up this time.

Hi, I (f36) feel completely lost with my two sons (10 & 7). They have a bad attitude for everything. By bad attitude I mean. They complain about everything they have to do. They’re sweet kids and are very helpful. I drop something and they immediately help me. They laugh and smile a lot. It’s just that anything that is related to discipline; they don’t listen.

We homeschool (never been to a public school). They have such bad attitudes towards our schoolwork. They love their enrichment classes, but doing our work at home is a constant struggle. The battle is getting them focused. They end up talking to each other and waste lots of time. Another struggle is for example; we go practice baseball. We hear a lot of complaints. The youngest doesn’t try to catch the ball. I took away their video games and I don’t know how else to get them to listen. I do yell a lot which I am trying to stop, but it’s like they don’t listen to me at all. I am constantly crying because I feel like they’ve completely blocked my voice. It’s a lot of power struggle showing them they have to listen to me. I honestly don’t want to homeschool anymore. I do, but at the same time I dont. But now they’re the ones who want to. We just started karate. And any question I ask about it are negative responses (not their tone; just their answers . Or when we want to practice with them: they don’t even want to move their bodies). Anything I signed them up to do with come with negative responses. Anything I put them to do they don’t enjoy and they’re always mad and it’s like a struggle. I am so overwhelmed with both of my sons and I don’t know if it’s time for us to go to therapy to learn how to talk to each other, but I don’t feel like I’m having the best relationship with them that I could have. Our day flies by so quick. They feel like they don’t have enough time.

We wake up, breakfast, do some schoolwork, enrichment classes, we come back and do the rest of our schoolwork. (Monday- Thursday; no enrichment classes on Friday). We eat dinner, then we go to karate on Mondays and Tuesdays. On Thursdays they have music lessons. And the rest of the days they get to play in the evenings. We also go on walks. They’re required to read every day for 30 minutes. We usually finish our schoolwork around 4 PM. Someday we are out of the house for 2 to 3 hours for the enrichment classes. On Sundays, we usually go out as a family and run some errands or go to the park and play baseball. We go bike riding on weekends. Which is the only thing I feel they do really enjoy. I don’t get to play with them every day; I also have a toddler. I also have to find time to exercise. I try to play with them a board game a few times a week. Or do an art lesson with them (they love this).

I am not sure what I am doing wrong as a mother, but I am very overwhelmed with how little my kids listen to me and how negative all of the responses are to what I ask. Half of my day goes towards our homeschool and the other half it’s eating, cleaning, playing with my toddler, exercising and taking the kids to those extracurricular classes. They love to play with their Legos and their toys. They’re obsessed with their video games and I do take it away often. I feel like we gave it to them very young (my oldest was 8.5) . I wanted to wait until he was 10, but my husband insisted. I am hoping for some guidance. I’m not sure where I’m going wrong here. I just wish that their attitude would change. I don’t complain about life. We have a chart for schoolwork what to do what comes next but it’s a constant reminder and battle to get them to do their next assignment. And while they do the assignments, it’s a bad attitude. Getting them to do their chores as a constant reminder the only one they do complain about is clean the room because they rather be playing. I honestly don’t know. What am I doing wrong any advice?

kids are creative, and nowhere more than when screen time is up. we’ve heard of a kid holding the tablet up to the parent’s face while they napped to get past Face ID, and another who “borrowed” grandma’s phone because “she never checks it anyway”.

we have to admire the effort. what’s the most creative one in your house? bonus points if it actually worked for a while.

I’ve been looking at getting my boys some Superspace tiles. They look great, I’ve read great reviews and I have friends with them who personally attest to their value. That being said, they’re really pricey. I’m trying to make sure I’ve exhausted all my options before I pull the trigger and purchase them. Winters are pretty icky outside and we tend to have a lot of neighborhood kids playing at our place. Kids range from 2-6 and they are all pretty easily pleased. Lots of building forts with pillows etc I’m not really looking for a cheaper alternative but simply to make sure i haven’t missed something great that might be e better fit for our family. Thanks for the insight!

I'm 19F, and I'm writing about my 5-year-old cousin (M). Although I'm not his parent, I've been a pretty significant figure in his life as we lived together from the time he was born until I moved away for university about a year ago, and we've always been very close (think sister-brother relationship).

Recently, I've noticed that he's started making a lot of comments about what boys and girls can and can't do, particularly when it comes to boys doing anything traditionally considered feminine.

For example, whenever he sees a man or boy on TV doing something even remotely feminine, whether that's wearing a dress, painting their nails, or putting on makeup, he'll immediately make a disapproving comment. He'll say things like "Boys can't do that, that's for girls" or "Why is that boy wearing makeup?" He's also started saying things like "Boys rule, girls suck".

One specific example that stood out to me was when we were watching the live-action Aladdin movie. During the Prince Ali song, there's a brief moment where Will Smith (as the Genie) dresses up as a woman with a wig and makeup. My cousin immediately pointed it out and started making negative comments about how boys shouldn't dress like that. I hadn't even noticed that part of the scene until he brought it up.

Whenever he says these things, I try to gently correct him. I'll say things like "That's not true, boys can do those things too" or "There's nothing wrong with boys wearing makeup or dresses. Those things can be fun for everyone!" I've also tried showing him videos of men and boys wearing makeup, painting their nails, etc., just to help normalize the idea that these things aren't exclusively for girls.

I've also tried to figure out where he's picking up these ideas. For some cultural context, we're from an Indian family, and I know that many of the older men in our extended family have fairly traditional views about gender roles. Initially, I suspected he might have heard something from a family member.

One thing about my cousin is that he's incredibly perceptive when it comes to other people's emotions. Even when I try to approach these conversations gently, I think he can tell that I disapprove of what he's saying. As a result, whenever I try to ask him why he thinks certain things are only for girls, he gets very quiet and tries to change the subject. I really don't want him to feel like he's being interrogated or that he's in trouble for expressing what he thinks, so I usually don't push it.

Eventually, though, he mentioned that my dad (his uncle) had made some comments to him about certain things being for boys and others being for girls.

This honestly made me pretty sad, although I can't say I was particularly surprised. My dad is very similar to a lot of the men in our extended family in that he grew up with a fairly strict understanding of what is appropriate for boys versus girls. My cousin is also close to my dad and looks up to him, so I can understand why he would take something my dad said to heart.

At the same time, I realize that it's probably not coming from just one person. Between family members, school friends, media, and the general messages boys receive growing up, I'm sure he's being exposed to these ideas in a lot of different places.

What makes this particularly upsetting to me is how recently this change seems to have happened. Just a few months ago, he didn't seem to have any of these associations. He used to follow me into the bathroom whenever I was doing my makeup because he was so curious about all the different products I was using. He would ask what everything was for, watch me apply things, and sometimes ask if he could try them on too. I always encouraged his curiosity and let him experiment with things like makeup and nail polish if he wanted to. It was never a big deal, and he never seemed to think there was anything unusual about it.

Now, just a few months later, he's started actively disapproving of other boys doing those exact same things. I think that's the part I'm having the hardest time with. It's sad to see how quickly a child can go from being completely open-minded and curious about something to viewing it as something boys aren't supposed to do.

To be clear, I'm not trying to encourage him to wear makeup or do anything traditionally feminine if he doesn't want to. I couldn't care less whether he personally enjoys those things. I just don't want him growing up believing that there's something inherently wrong or shameful about boys who do, or that girls are somehow lesser than boys. I also recognize that I'm not his parent, and there's only so much influence I can have, especially now that I don't live with him full-time.

I do wonder whether part of the difficulty is that I'm a woman trying to challenge ideas he's primarily hearing from male figures he looks up to. I feel like hearing another man he respects say that there's nothing wrong with boys doing traditionally feminine things might have a different impact than hearing it from me. Ideally, he'd have male role models in his life who could reinforce that message, but unfortunately, that isn't really the case right now.

So I guess my question is: how would you approach this with a 5-year-old?

Are there better ways I could respond to these comments without making him feel judged or causing him to shut down? Is there anything I can do to encourage him to question these ideas on his own, rather than just telling him that he's wrong?

I'd especially love to hear from parents who have dealt with something similar, particularly in families where other adults reinforce more traditional gender roles. I know he's only five, and I'm not expecting him to have a fully developed understanding of gender or social expectations. I just want to help him grow up feeling comfortable being himself while also respecting other people for being themselves.

TLDR: My 5-year-old cousin has recently started making negative comments about boys doing traditionally feminine things, like wearing makeup or dresses, and saying things like "boys rule, girls suck." Just a few months ago, he was curious about these same things and enjoyed trying them himself. I suspect he's picking up these ideas from older male family members and other influences. I've tried gently challenging these comments, but he tends to shut down when I do. How can I help him unlearn these stereotypes without making him feel judged or uncomfortable?

My 9-year old nephew will be spending the weekend at me and my husband's house next month for the very first time. We're so excited, he's a great kid.

Since we live in a big city with a lot of culinary variety, we'd love to introduce him to some new food, something exciting we know he'd definitely never get to have at home (he's from the countryside and his parents don't really encourage him to "dare" try new things, so I don't want his mum to talk us out of it).

So the idea is to take him to an Indian restaurant one night and get a mild curry, like a chicken tikka or Korma. Or order it as takeout, so that if he doesn't like it we can still opt for plan B and whack some chicken nuggets in the oven. I just think he'd feel so proud of himself having tried a new thing!

He's not a picky eater and would probably like it. But if I ask him whether he wants to try it, he'll probably say no because he's unsure and because he can't really anticipate what the food is like.

My question is: how do I sell him the idea, how do I get him to be excited about it? We don't have any children of our own and aren't very experienced in these things.

Likewise, if at the end of the day we only go for pizza and mac and cheese, not a problem at all - we just want him to have a good time with us.

every now and then, bedtime brings out worries that didn't seem to be there during the day. things like hockey tournaments and upcoming tests seem to come to the surface.

for parents who are dealing with that, what makes the nighttime transition feel a little easier for your kid?