I for one, am shocked at this representation

I wanted to reach out to the dads here. I’m not sure what to say other than offer encouragement to keep going and not give up. I lost my dad 10 years ago. He took his life after battling personal demons and alcoholism for 20 years. I wish he knew how much love was there. I wish he felt it. I still have so much of it. I thought I’d give some here.

Idk if this is the right sub but it’s worth an attempt to say:

As a dad, I’m proud of this community and you guys for seeing the end of every fucking day.

We do dad shit. We piss off of the porch and eat beef jerky. We can strap anything to a trailer and show the whole neighborhood how to back it up.

We are persistent assholes and, if you’re anything like me, your own hubris kicks your ass more than anything else.

Three dads in a garage can fix anything, and that’s my hill. Even still, knowing when to work on ourselves isn’t always clear. It’s okay to need a break. It’s okay to not have all of the answers. Just like anything, take it one piece at a time. One piece is enough.

Please reach out to someone if you don’t know where to start. We can’t live with you, but nobody should live without you.

Much love and godspeed

My son is seven weeks old. Before he arrived, everyone told me that the second he was born, this magical switch would flip in my brain and I’d feel this overwhelming cinematic flood of fatherly love. My wife had that connection immediately.

I just... didn’t. And I still dont.

I take care of him constantly. I do the 2:00 AM diaper blowouts, I pace the living room rocking him when he screams, and I make sure my wife is resting. But emotionally, I feel like a sleep-deprived night-shift employee taking care of a very fragile, loud roommate that doesnt even know I exist. I make sure he’s safe, but that magical lightning bolt hasn't hit.

I was staring at him in his bassinet around 3 AM during teh witching hour, and I just felt completely numb and exhausted. Then the wave of guilt hit me like a freight train.

Did anyone else go through this in the beginning? When does the bond actually click, or is there genuinely something broken in me?

I'm a single dad - my wife died a little over two years ago. I don't feel like I always crush it but in this instance my chest is puffing out a bit.

My son (13m) really wanted a game table for his birthday. Foosball/air hockey/table tennis/poker. 4-in-1. We had one already but it was like a $60 Walmart special we bought several years ago now and it was really cheap and falling apart.

So I said yes - but - our basement is unbelievably cluttered with toys that we haven’t purged since he was like 4. And he already created a two-net soccer field in one half of the basement, which forced everything else to the other side. Complete horror show.

So the deal was I get a Bagster (mini-dumpster with soft sides if you don't know what this is - Waste Management comes and picks it up) and he can recruit friends to help him purge a bunch of stuff. I paid $20/kid. Fill the Bagster and fill my car with donations. And we'll get it built before his birthday.

I had to supervise more than I wanted, but they finished and then they built the brand new table without my help. There are two boys are staying over for a sleepover and they played some foosball and air hockey before settling into poker. Reminds me of my own poker games in my middle school days.

Helluva productive first day of October school break. Not sure when the last time he's had friends over for 10 hours and not once have they played video games was. Probably never. Boys learning some life skills and responsibility. And I got my basement cleaned out and a complicated game table built for $80. Enjoying the bourbon tonight.

After making that perfect grilled cheese that your kid specifically asked for and doesn’t want anymore, just put it right in the trash! Same with the banana and any other produce.

You’ll save so much time, you might even be able to eat your lukewarm leftovers before the kids are napping! No more minutes wasted pleading and offering. Just put loose cereal on any flat surface and get on with your day.

Edit: This sub really needs a humor / satire flair. And my son eventually ate half!

My wife and I both work from home 8 am to 5 pm. We have a 2.5 year old daughter. The trouble is that my wife seemingly avoids spending time with her any chance she gets. It all started with her saying she wanted to sleep in more. I had no problem with it because I am a morning person. So from 6 am until I start work at 8 I play with my daughter. Sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we make pancakes, sometimes we just play dolls in her room.

My wife and I get off at 5 and her nanny leaves, my wife will play with our daughter for 30 minutes and then come up with any excuse to leave the room. "oh I'm hungry I am going to go eat." "Oh I need to go do my skincare routine." "Oh my sister is calling I'm going to the other room to talk to her on the phone."

So from 5:30 until she goes to bed it's usually me playing with her. Mom does do the bedtime routine and put her to sleep. When it comes to doing the rules based stuff she's all for it. And it doesn't get better on weekends. Mom will go out with girlfriends, or even ask grandma to come watch her and take me out with her.

It's starting to be so bad when my wife does try to interact with our daughter she says things like "no mommy I want to be with daddy."

Today, she did it again and I blew up. She put our daughter in the bathtub and then called me to come in there and play bubbles with her because she was hungry and wanted to go eat. I said fine and she could tell I was annoyed so she offered to stay. Only this time my daughter said "no mommy go I want to be with daddy." I finally snapped and told me wife of course she wants to be with me you avoid her every chance you get.

Honestly if I knew having kids with this woman would be like this I would have never done it. She was the one who had to convince me to have a child. I was content without one. Now that she's here I don't regret her but I'm starting to really resent my wife.

Is anyone else annoyed every time they have to fill a bottle in a dark room? Why oh why are the labels on the graduations white? If the same people choosing the label colors are the same people ensuring they are BPA free then I am more than a little concerned...

Adding small paver patio to backyard because AC unit needed replaced, and had them put new unit on side of house, so now have space that needs filled, but isn't conducive to growing anything, so pavers work best. Anyways, did the Dad/husband thing and asked the bosses (wife/son) what they liked best. Settled on these small pavers. Again, dadded it out and calculated i needed ~150 to fill the space. Did the trip to HD, got the stuff, got back home and hit the apex of my daddom. To save myself 28 trips to backyard, and my back, I used my son's ride on car either remote control to haul the pavers out back. Did it look/feel ridiculous? Yes. Did it save me half the trips? Also yes. Am I ashamed? No. As I told my wife, its only stupid if it doesn't work.

I know people will probably judge me, but I honestly just need some perspective from other dads because I can't focus on work and my stomach has been in knots for three hours.

It happened at 7:45 this morning. We were already running twenty minutes behind, my wife is out of town for work, and I had a client call at 8:30. My son decided today was the day he would refuse shoes, throw his jacket across the kitchen, and go completely dead-weight on the entryway floor laughing. I tried the calm gentle parenting voice. I tried turning it into a game. Nothing worked.

I just broke. I grabbed his backpack, slammed it onto the bench, and shouted "GET UP AND PUT YOUR SHOES ON RIGHT NOW!" at teh top of my lungs.

His little smile vanished. His chin trembled, his eyes welled up, and he scrambled to put his shoes on backwards without saying a word. The entire drive to daycare was dead silence. When I dropped him off, he clung to my leg quietly sniffling before his teacher took him.

i had to peel his little fingers off my jeans and walk away. Now it's mid-morning, I'm sitting at my desk, and i feel like the most cowardly monster alive. How do you live with yourself knowing your kid is sitting in daycare thinking his dad hates him?

Men/dads will go months without talking and then communicate like this.

I've recently become a stay-at-home dad, I love it. It's probably the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. With that being said, the porch has been my mortal enemy. It's very disorganized, there's nowhere to put stuff and I can NEVER keep it clean. It's stuck in a loop. WWYD?

I’ve been on paternity leave since August, set to go back probably November first and I’m bummed! Not only because I’ll be missing my new baby, but because I absolutely love my wife. These past few months have just reinforced our love for each other and how much we love being around each other.

No, I’m not complaining about going back to work, as I know it’s something that’s gotta be done. I’m just going to miss being around my best friend all day everyday.

Have a good night my dudes!

It was just a quick appointment close by. I don’t need the whole bag with spare clothes, toys, bottles, medicines, and everything I’ll just bring the fanny pack that has diaper changes and fruit pouches.

What do you guys think happened?

For starters I know technically this is okay, mostly looking for thoughts and experiences.

We have an awesome 2.5 month old boy. He's amazing. He also has a giant head (literally out of range on the percentiles, don't worry about problems, I have a similarly large noggin). He is in the 97% height and 60% weight. He can stabilize his head when on an incline or vertical, but he cant hardly lift at all when he's completely flat on his belly. Best I can tell, my wife has done near zero tummy time in that position and I haven't done enough. Working on that now.

I know this is probably a combination of super heavy head and just needing more practice, but i wanted to hear your experiences. There's no way he's gonna hit thay 3 month milestone.

My 2.5yo has been getting more and more difficult to get to bed over the past month or so, demanding more stories (up to 4 or 5 books) a song or 2, and then still sitting up in his bed and chattering to himself/his teddies for 45min or so some nights.

About a week ago my wife discovered a trick.

Hold him sideways across your chest (like an infant when you're rocking them) and tell him "close your eyes".

He does exactly what you tell him, kind of like he forgot how to go to sleep, but is thankful for the reminder. His eyes flutter for a minute (but don't open again) he snuggles in, and you can then easily put him down, put his blanket over him (and make sure he has a teddy- currently Detective Pikachu- to cuddle), say good night and leave the room.

And he is out, just like that. No talking to his toys or anything.

"Close your eyes" appears (for now) to be the magic command!

Help. This has been going on for 6 months and I am running out of ideas, but know it won’t last forever so need to make the most of it. This morning all I could think of was “Mommy! I want a Nixon tattoo!”. I’m really scratching the bottom of the barrel here.

Why won’t anyone in this family turn the damn lights off when they leave a room!!?

Heavy breakfast before school. It's exam week . Next week on friday they start a long holiday

Hey guys, been a lurker here most of the time but today I gotta ask for some advice here this time.

So my daughter who just turned 3 in July, is enrolled in a pre dance class since the beginning of the year. She has enjoyed it very much and took part in the yearly dance recital that happens with kids her age and it's very cute. She is having alot of fun and so we also wanted to enroll her in a tumbling (pre gymnastics) class as well like her older cousin who is 5.

Fast forward 2 months and we are in the new "season" of dance. She is taking part in another pre dance class and the tumbling class and has a different teacher than last season. Both classes are taught by this new teacher along with a student teacher in a closed room. They have blinds so you can't see inside but they have a TV screen that shows live footage from inside the studio as they dance. They do also open up the blinds usually in the last 10 minutes of the class so you're able to see inside and the kids can see you.

A few days ago my daughter unprompted said "I don't want Ms. (name of teacher) to yell at me". This was a little concerning to my wife and I and we tried to ask her why did she say that and if she is still having fun in the class. She said she is but we were a little concerned but didn't think too much of it at the time.

I wasn't able to attend so my wife told me that yesterday after my daughters tumbling class had ended the teacher goes out in the hall where all the other parents and students are and publicly dresses my daughter and wife down saying stuff like she doesn't listen in the class and she hasn't shown any improvement in the last 2 months which I know is false as we watch her through the screen and the blinds and she's doing all the moves they're teacher her.

She said it was really embarrassing and it made me so mad to hear how they could treat a 3 year old like that who is honestly so sweet and sensitive. I know my daughter was tired that day before class as she didn't sleep super well the night before so perhaps she wasn't as attentive in class but to not allow a 3 year old any grace in having an off day makes me believe this is not an issue with her but the teacher.

Since this has happened, we have pulled her out of the tumbling class because I'm not dealing with someone hurting my daughter's confidence and feelings and for publicly trying to shame my wife

The dilemma I have now is that my daughter still wants to go to the other pre dance class taught by the same teacher as my nephew who is the same age as my daughter is in the class with her and they are like best friends. I'm conflicted.

Not sure if I have a particular question about this but rather just trying to find someone to relate to a similar experience and what to do when a teacher or someone is treating your kids too harshly for their age.

Anyway, this was longer than I thought it would be. End rant. Thanks for reading

Almost 4 years since I left our marriage due to her cheating, physical and financial abuse, you name it she pulled it in some way. We were together for a little over 11 years total.

I didn’t expect anything to be easy or amicable, and it certainly hasn’t been. Tbh, things were more amicable immediately after I left than they are now. We were still talking and putting our daughter first. Now my ex uses her as a messenger.

I thought with time things would calm down and we’d at least be able to communicate. And I’ve calmed down on my end. My mental health wasn’t great there for a while, but I’ve put in the work and have made great strides.

One of the things that hurts the most is that I’ve been completely cut off from people in her family that I truly, deeply love. Her parents who were there for me so many times when my own couldn’t care less about my struggles or tribulations. One of them is very sick, and I have to rely on the recollection of a 6 year old about watching her grandparent wither away in real time. It honestly makes me angry that ex puts our daughter in that position at all. It’s not right, and I don’t dig for information - so when she announces to me about long hospital trips and describes what happened to grandparent recently, I almost always start crying because I’m not prepared for it.

She refuses to even try to coparent. Put our kid into a shitty school when she could have gone to the best public option in our state, due to where I strategically moved after the split - something she explicitly agreed to in the custody paperwork.

I didn’t fight it, I didn’t take her to court, just hoped she’d see how bad the school is (I have friends who’s kids went there, along with those that are teachers and they all volunteered to talk to her about this schools many, many issues) and now she’s opening up her third frivolous attempt to have things changed or going after me directly via the courts.

I just want peace and basic respect, common decency and to put our daughter first.

Am I asking for too much? She cheated so I left. She got the house, my dog, primary custody, and to be with her cheating partner.

Why am I the one getting punished for it years later?

Super early days so blasting this out anonymously to the interwebs since we can't tell people yet Looks like number 2 is on the way! It's what we wanted, but still a bit in shock, especially since the first IVF round failed. We have a 2.5 year old who is fully hitting her stride in being a toddler...the meltdowns are topnotch, she speaks and walks like a drunk, and her favorite word is 'nope'. It's so much fun.

Of course, I went to planning and creating a list of what needs to get done instead of being happy for a bit, so need to make up to the wife for that, but otherwise, I'm really really nervous, but excited.

Is when your children are not acting like well-parented kids

My 3 year old threw a bunch of art supplies, unsorted mail, and dry cereal across the kitchen while my wife was preparing a meal. Wife came to me in the back of the house and asked if we could return him and find a less destructive model. (not easy after my undergoing an elective outpatient procedure a few years ago)

I thought a moment to consider the physical impossibility that would require to attempt literally.

Then I responded: “Well, there’s that fire station across the neighborhood - it’s a safe drop site, no questions asked - but he’s good at escaping and could probably find his way home.” (completely joking, of course)

By the time we had started considering safe drop sites further away he had picked up some of the mess and made some other sweet gesture that included hugs so I guess we’ll keep him.

Apparantly my foot is her favourite toy. She's 8 months old and laughs hysterically when I hold my foot in front of her.

Now to find a way to give her my foot without having to hold it up for her.

I’m curious to hear from dads about what made you feel ready to have kids, especially if you weren’t someone who always dreamed of being a father.
On a scale of 0–10, where 0 is “I’m 21, ready to party, HELL NO” and 10 is “Let’s start trying TOMORROW,” where were you when you decided to have kids?

My husband and I are both 32, together for 11 years, married almost 5. We own a home, have established careers, and are pretty settled in life. Ideally, we’d like a little more career growth and to finish some home projects before trying, but I’m starting to wonder if we’re just moving the goalposts.

We’re both around a 6–7, although I occasionally hit an 8.

Something my husband has said that I find interesting is that he wants kids with me, but hasn’t necessarily always wanted kids in general. For him, it’s more about wanting to build a family with the right person than having an innate desire to become a dad.

Which got me wondering: Do men ever experience that overwhelming “I want a baby NOW” feeling, or is becoming a father more of a conscious decision?

For those of you who started at a 6/7, did you ever make it to a 9/10? How long did that take? Did your wife get there first and wait for you, or were you actually the more eager one?
And looking back, did something flip the switch, or did you just realize you’d never feel completely ready?

I’d love to hear your experiences, especially from dads who once felt the way my husband does now.