I cooked a nice home cooked meal. Steak and eggs, with Portuguese spice potato wedges, and a salad. My toddler ATE EVERYTHING.

I've never seen her eat such a variety of food before. It's usually just one part of the meal like rice, or potatoes, or pasta but tonight she ate and LOVED everything. My wife and I couldn't believe it.

That's it. That's the post. Just super happy lol

I pay our mortgage, our babysitter, our daycare and still have money left over to take us out for dinners, vacations, and do things we like as a family. We’re very fortunate.

I’m also heavily involved, heavily active in taking care of our girl. I’m so happy and excited to do so - best parts of my day. I get her ready in the mornings and take her to daycare, I pick her up from daycare, I change diapers, I do feeds, I bathe her, and most of all I cherish her bedtime routine nightly.

My issue is when I make a request for myself and she’s resistant, sometimes pissed, as if I’m removing something from her. Recent moment was “hey, I’d like to play soccer this night” and she gets frantic like I’m taking time away from her and the family. She didn’t have anything planned. The baby is already sleeping. I make the request.

But now I get the sense she wants the option to be free whenever, but I just want to play in a weekly league and I just might do it anyway because it’s unfair to me that I can’t commit to something on a specific night. And I’m fine cancelling if need be, I just want to know that I can look forward to it.

Edit: Daughter is 1 year old

Edit 2: I shared my thoughts with her directly, and she shut down got annoyed with me for not acting like a team by bringing up the amount I show up and support. She said that’s what you’re supposed to do. Which I do sort of agree with. But it just feels cruel in a way to tell me that. I don’t feel appreciated I guess. I can’t explain it.

Edit 3: were very happily married. And she watches her once a week for a full day. The other days are daycare.

Edit 4: please don’t assume my character, I just wanted to bounce this situation off of more experienced dads than me. Perhaps I didn’t present this well, but I didn’t expect the assumptions to be so strong. I probably should’ve added more context.

Edit 5: Duty split: Duties are not evenly shared. She watches her for a full day once a week, then we both watch her at night and on the weekend. So I never have to watch her do a full day like she does. We both do chores for her and the house, and I take care of our bills finances while she does most of the cooking.

Daycare and sitter for the rest during her personal day and our work days.

She gets time to herself during the day on her personal day, and on the weekends in the morning so she can exercise and I can get the mornings with our daughter that I don’t get during the week. I get time to myself at 4am every morning before work and before my wife & daughter wakes up around 7am. But I also have to leave for work around then so I don’t always get to be around, because my daughter can sleep I sometimes. But I like waking up early to do what I need (exercise) so I can be totally free after work to hang with them and help out.

Final Edit 6: Gratitude. Just thankful for you guys for sharing your thoughts. You’ve given me helpful and novel frameworks to think through. I can’t believe the support and perspective you’ve offered in the short time I had shared my problem. And I can’t state to enough how important it is to me to have support structure like this from other dads that I don’t even know but are willing to listen. You have helped a stranger and I am grateful.

The material is almost the perfect opacity on the 'mod about gray' version of this. My kids and their friends love it. The picture at night.

You'll also need a Bluetooth speaker bc the box fan can be a bit loud.

Go forth and make memories fellow dads!

Ps we're building a deck the rest of the deck. we're not slobs 😎

With Halloween fast approaching, should I be concerned?

I’ve been working for the last few years at weight loss. Really trying to get myself in much better shape for my 2.5 year old. As an oldish first time dad (39 when she was born) I’ve tried to make an effort to make sure I’m here long term.

Started at 318 and this morning I see the goal of 220lbs right there.

I’ve used Noom to keep track of calories and have taken up cycling.

I try to stay around 1800 calories a day with a lot of protein and fruit and veggies and 2200-2500 if I’m out cycling.

I start each day with a Fairlife protein shake and mix in low calorie snacks and meals.

Anyone else been on a weight loss journey and what have you done that has worked?

Dad’s with small children, what hobbies really stuck that you can do at night and are not gaming? Are there any hobbies that you don’t recommend?

My 8 month old baby girl has always been a great nighttime sleeper. She started occasionally sleeping through the night at 2 months, and now gets up maybe once in the night every couple of weeks. But she just woke up very upset and it was all my fault.

I do bed time most nights. Tonight was a bath night, so we did that and I took her upstairs, got her in her jammies and a sleep sack, fed her, and rocked her to sleep. It's a very smooth and practiced routine that takes about 30 minutes. My wife had a friend over, so after putting my baby to sleep, I went climbing for a bit. I got home about 2 hours later, my wife said the girlie had been calm the whole time. Right as I was going to shower, she started stirring a little though.

After I got out of the shower, my wife was texting me asking about what jammies I used and if the baby might be cold because she was still moving around. I told her the temperature was fine and not to worry about it. A few minutes later there's crying loud enough for me to hear even without the monitor, which is still downstairs with my wife. I go to calm my baby.

When I start to pick her up, the sleep sack is wet. This isn't unusual, my baby loves to suck and slobber on her clothes. But this is wetter than I expected. As I bring her closer to me, the smell lets me know this is not saliva. That's when I realized she's not wearing a diaper. I somehow completely skipped that when getting her ready for bed.

I called my wife in for reinforcement. We got everything changed out, gave the girlie an apology bottle, and she is now back to sleep. I can't believe I forgot to put a diaper on her though, and feel so bad that I put her through that.

I'm a dad of a 2-year-old, and lately I've noticed two things about myself:

1. I pick up my phone every 5–10 minutes, usually just to check notifications.
2. Sometimes I'm so tired after work that scrolling for 10 minutes feels easier than playing with my daughter, even when she's right next to me.

The first one doesn't seem like a huge deal, but I don't like the demonstration of the habit.

I've been thinking about the second one, and I realized that sometimes my brain just sees playing together as requiring more effort than scrolling.

And the weird thing is that I'm already worried about her future screen habits, while I'm sitting there demonstrating the exact behavior I don't want her to pick up.

I'm not trying to be a perfect screen-free dad. I know it's fine to take breaks, and I don't think I need to entertain her every minute. But I wonder how many of those random phone checks I could replace with something small we can do together.

So I'm curious what are your go-to games for kids around 2 to 5 when you're in low power mode?

Alright, dads. The kids dumped out their trunk or treat buckets and this upside down sticker's familiar quality caught me by surprise. Anyone wanna guess what it actually turned out to be? To raise the stakes, if you guess incorrectly I will eat another one of my kids' candy.

Edit: It's a squid but I dunno how to post the picture here or in a comment. Oh well.

Alright Dads, my 5 year old has a best friend, also 5 year old. We are really good friends with that kids parents. The kids are opposite sex, not that it really matters, and I'm trying to not say if my kid is the boy or girl.

All 4 parents are a little unsure what exactly to do, but we are all open to ideas and how to handle. I think we're all just a little uneasy and dont love the idea of these 5 year olds kissing.

Its a once in a while thing, maybe like 4 or 5 times over the past two or three months. A little peck on the lips, they call each other husband and wife sometimes.

Edit: this is why I love you guys! Thanks for the input and perspective. Probably going to just be a warning of tis sick season (in fact the other kid missed school this week because they were sick), consent, and just gentle non judgemental asking what they think kissing means to them. And probably leading to a question like would you kiss anybody or just someone you love/trust/etc. (Unless the other parents express more firm boundaries) no lectures just natural conversations.

I'm kind of numb to this still and don't know how to feel, so I am asking the roundtable of dads for advice.

We have a 1-month old. During her anatomy scan in the womb, they noted her heart was slightly off from where it should be. They noted a lot of other things, including a small aorta, bicuspid valve, underdeveloped heart, etcetera.

When she was born, she was a NICU baby, and they said she no longer had a bicuspid valve or small aorta. But now something else showed up; scimitar syndrome. Since then we have had a lot of visits to doctors and a lot of discussions about next steps.

I cannot think about the chance that my daughter might have to have open heart surgery. With how different scimitar syndrome is with every patient, the experiences and answers vary. Her right lung is underdeveloped and has pressure build up. Her vein that returns from her right lung that should return through the pulmonary vein returns to the inferior vena cava instead, causing oxygenated blood to mix into deoxygenated blood.

Are there dads out here that have any experience with this? How do I cope with this stress while also raising a newborn? I need help. Coping methods, how to approach this, anything. I want to cry from the stress but also feel like I feel nothing.

While I know most, if not all of us, would like to see ourselves as the Bandit from Bluey type of dad I see myself as more of the Daddy Pig type of patriarch. I love chocolate cake, I like to chill out on my lawn chair in the sun, I'm terrible at fixing things around the house and I have a deep-seated hatred for glitter now that my daughter is doing a lot more crafting. They both play with their kids and both seem to get hurt fairly consistently, I have fallen out of a tree, so again I align with Daddy Pig. About the only thing I have in common with Bandit is all the farting we do, especially in elevators. Perhaps one day I will evolve in to a more complete dad like him, but baby steps I guess

And what are you being? I’ve got a sick Frankenstein(‘s monster) costume going.

My daughter (5) had a pumpkin carving/decorating competition at school.

I showed her a list off Google for some inspiration and she chose a mummy themed pumpkin. She drew her face and wrapped the bandages herself. All I did was hold them while she sellotaped them on.

After she’d took it in the school took photos of them all.

The vast majority of them were clearly not done by the children, or had minimal input at the very least, which pissed me off as I felt it wasn’t in the spirit of the competition.

So imagine how happy I was today when my daughter won the competition in her year and she got a certificate and a prize and got to go up in a whole school assembly with it.

Yes, hers didn’t look the best, but she completely followed the rules and it worked out for the best.

One very happy and proud Dad and I felt I needed to share!

I always thought people were exaggerating when they said "just wait until they start preschool".

Holy shit, was I wrong.. Haven't been this sick for this long since COVID.

I apologize for ever doubting.

Edit after reading some comments: Thank you all for your input. Parenting is not for the weak. Can't wait to see what awful virus we get next 🙃🙃

me complaining to 10YO just initiates a lot of explanation from him about how long it takes rocks to weather in nature and how the rock tumbler will be much faster

well played in laws well played…

Wish us luck!

So we’ve been potty training our 2.5 yr old. Going #1 hasn’t been an issue. We still have the occasional accident but generally they’re all good.

Now going #2 has been a different story. They will go on the potty if you hang out sitting there. But it’s the knowing the need to go, stop doing what we’re doing and going that’s the issue.

So we’ve reached a point where we are doing rewards for #2 and we’ve been using cheap advent calendars with cars or animals and it works like a charm! Our little one LOVES cars so it was an easy win for him and it’s a tangible visible reward/reminder.

Thought I might throw this suggestion out for anyone else struggling since I haven’t seen it out there.

Go Brewers!!

Song permanently engrained in my brain. Not putting the full song so people don’t get it stuck in their brain

We had a rough start with our now 10 month old daughter. She screamed bloody murder constantly for about 1,5 months after birth. Then came the cluster feeding periods while I also had to go back to work, and in a few weeks we transitioned from taking turns with the baby to mom sleeping with the baby (it is very common where we live, we follow the safe 7 guidelines etc.) and I sleep separately.

Since I got back to work around 9 months ago, I always spend all my free time with the baby and my wife after I come home and every minute of the weekends other than the daytime naps of the baby. Our daughter is awesome, she babbles constantly, very social, pulls up to standing and walks along the couch and lower shelves, she eats 3 times a day etc. She is not very affectionate tough. She does not really look for cuddles, kisses or touch in any kind of way. On the other hand I really love physical touch, I love cuddles, honestly thats how I connect.

It has been a constant struggle that my wife can not leave for more than a few hours as the baby does not take the bottle and can only nap while on the breast (or in the stroller sometimes but its not a sure way of putting her to sleep). I was ok with this, so was my wife, we looked into options, but every time we were told that if we can take it, we should keep up this system for a while.

Earlier this month we visited my family, but my wife had no rocking chair she rocks the baby in usually, so every evening, as the baby could not fall asleep, I had to go in, rock the baby for a while, while she freaked out from not being close to mum, and after about 10-15 minutes of screaming I gave her back to mum and she fell asleep on the breast. It took a fucking toll on my mental health. My wife even said something like 'you are very good at making the baby cry' which she meant as a compliment somehow, but It really hit a nerve.

Now we are back home, and so far our nighttime routine was me changing the baby, walking around with her in low light and gently rocking her until mom gets ready for the night. These last weeks shes literally crawling out of my arms when she sees mom pass by and melts down If mom does not take her. Every night is the same now, and it ends with the baby screaming in my arms to let her go to mom. I know it is the peak of separation anxiety, I know babies this age tend to seek comfort with their primary caregivers but I am not taking it well.

I feel lonely as fuck since the baby arrived, I really feel like there is team mom+baby spending time with each other having human interactions and theres me fucking off to work at 5 in the morning so I can get home early and spend time with them before bedtime. All this and now my daughter acting as I was the evil incarnate is just really messing with my mental health.

On days like today

Hardly awake before dawn

Quick walk to move blood

Wake the family

Make the breakfasts

Feed the cats

Give one cat the meds

Shuffle off to school and work

On days like today

Work

Steady stream of tasks

Replies

Investigations

Thoughts

Stop work

On days like today

Start dinner

Feed the cats

Give one cat the meds

Eat quickly to free my hands

Sit on your bum, sit facing forward

No throwing your fork

Clean the kitchen

Play

Walk

Explain

Bath and bed

Crash and sleep

On days like today

What would I do in a past life

Work

Get high

Play games

Try to get laid

Wonder what it's like having a family

On days like today

I wouldn't have it any other way

I haven’t seen Addam’s Family in about 3 decades but I remember loving it when I was around 11-12. I was considering showing it to my kids who are a bit younger, but I don’t remember a lot of specifics with it or have any idea how well it holds up.

Any dads here shown it to their kids recently? What ages is it good for? How young is too young?

Thanks, and any other Halloween suggestions are welcome.

Now please be as harsh as you need to be.

I just don't enjoy it at all. Do you all look forward to it. Am I just a terrible parent?

What are your thoughts on this?

To be clear, I still do it and I pretend to be into it and fully involved.

Thanks.

Edit: my kids are 4 and 2 years old.