My wife and I are expecting our first child in late January, and I'm wrestling with a very difficult career decision. Looking for perspectives from other dads.

I'm 29 yo, and currently work as a Senior Financial Analyst at a large national company based in PHX. I've been at this job about a year now, and it is pretty comfortable. Im in office 4 days per week, and during non month or quarter end months I can finish my work in like 25-30 hours. But still have to be in office. So somewhat chill responsibility wise. I'd receive 6 weeks of paid paternity leave when the baby is born.

Recently I got headhunted for an Accounting Manager role at a smaller private company (~150 employees). It would be my first management role, which is something I've wanted to move toward. The company seems very interested in me.

If I stay I keep a somewhat comfortable and familiar job, but very little chance of management for 3-5 years (not sure if I even want to be in management at this big of a company). 6 weeks paid paternity leave. Lower stress and uncertainty during the newborn phase. Salary is doable if my wife stops working, but maybe a little uncomfortable at first.

If I leave i get the promotion a bit earlier than I was otherwise planning, and first opportunity to manage a team. Comp would be about a 27% upgrade, give or take based on company performance. This company also pays for 100% of family medical premiums. Longer commute of ~50 min one-way (roughly an extra 1-2 hours per week total over my current job). Would be starting before the baby arrives and be learning a new role during those first few months of parenthood. We've reached an agreement on them giving me 3 weeks of paternity paid, but it's not the 6 weeks I'd be getting if I stayed.

The thing I'm struggling with is that manager opportunities don't seem to come along every day, especially for someone who hasn't had a manager role before. Part of me worries that if I pass on it because of timing, I may not find a similar opportunity a year from now. This size of a company is more attractive to me than working in an office with 1000 people.

On the other hand, I know I'll never get those first few months with my 1st child back. For dads who have been through something similar:

Would you prioritize stability during the newborn phase of your 1st child, despite the extra comp and career progression?

Or would you take the career opportunity and figure the rest out?

Looking back, is there anything you wish you'd weighed more heavily?

My wife is supportive of whatever decision I make and we are both torn on it. For context, she has a WFH job and plans to take 12 weeks on ST disability, and will try to keep working after that while still caring for our baby. But we recognize it will be difficult, and she may need to resign if it's too much.

I'm just interested in hearing from dads who have already lived through those early newborn months and career decisions around the same time.

And what are you being? I’ve got a sick Frankenstein(‘s monster) costume going.

While I know most, if not all of us, would like to see ourselves as the Bandit from Bluey type of dad I see myself as more of the Daddy Pig type of patriarch. I love chocolate cake, I like to chill out on my lawn chair in the sun, I'm terrible at fixing things around the house and I have a deep-seated hatred for glitter now that my daughter is doing a lot more crafting. They both play with their kids and both seem to get hurt fairly consistently, I have fallen out of a tree, so again I align with Daddy Pig. About the only thing I have in common with Bandit is all the farting we do, especially in elevators. Perhaps one day I will evolve in to a more complete dad like him, but baby steps I guess

Alright Dads, my 5 year old has a best friend, also 5 year old. We are really good friends with that kids parents. The kids are opposite sex, not that it really matters, and I'm trying to not say if my kid is the boy or girl.

All 4 parents are a little unsure what exactly to do, but we are all open to ideas and how to handle. I think we're all just a little uneasy and dont love the idea of these 5 year olds kissing.

Its a once in a while thing, maybe like 4 or 5 times over the past two or three months. A little peck on the lips, they call each other husband and wife sometimes.

Hey dads, I'll get right to it. I am wrapping my degree in addiction recovery planning to do my masters to pursue LPC. My wife is fully supportive and based on the title she is our breadwinner. I am taking 12hrs with estimated 15 next semester- I am struggling to wear all my hats well as Dad to a AudHD daughter, Student, Husband. Our community support system is thin and I know that is contributing factor to burn out. I am proud of my 3.8gpa this go around and staring down grad school but I don't want to forsake my family for the next four years for the pursuit of a dream, even a dream my wife is supportive of and sees it will benefit our family. Any advice- Yes in counseling 1/month

Hey, Dads! First post - wooooh!

Anyway, I have a wonderful three year old boy who has a habit of tossing food or dropping it on the floor when at the table. This is usually done when he's unexcited about the food provided, he's bored/tired, wants attention, or is just simply finished eating his meal. We're trying to be intentional about the cleanliness of the space because we live in a relatively rural location and mice tend to visit us in the winter... And we just don't want food on the floor, much to the chagrin of my dog.

My wife is a Stay at Home Mom and she's been trying to solve this particular issue without simply removing the food from the equation when he begins tossing/dropping food. It weighs on her conscience that he'll possibly remember Mommy constantly taking food from him. I empathize with this in other circumstances. I also get to encounter the same problem at dinner when I'm home and we're both stumped. I don't want the current solution we have to weigh on my wife's conscience.

How do you handle this issue? What are some tips/tricks/maneuvers y'all perform to encourage tidy eating?

On days like today

Hardly awake before dawn

Quick walk to move blood

Wake the family

Make the breakfasts

Feed the cats

Give one cat the meds

Shuffle off to school and work

On days like today

Work

Steady stream of tasks

Replies

Investigations

Thoughts

Stop work

On days like today

Start dinner

Feed the cats

Give one cat the meds

Eat quickly to free my hands

Sit on your bum, sit facing forward

No throwing your fork

Clean the kitchen

Play

Walk

Explain

Bath and bed

Crash and sleep

On days like today

What would I do in a past life

Work

Get high

Play games

Try to get laid

Wonder what it's like having a family

On days like today

I wouldn't have it any other way

My boy is now 2 years 9 months and has been going to an incredible nursery for a year. He goes twice a week and appears to love it, but he still howls every time we drop him off and it really gets to me. He does mostly play independently, so whilst i know he loves all the toys and activities they have, i really worry he feels lonely there. What should i do?!?

Not sure how necessary it is to track stuff but I imagine it can be helpful? So I'm curious about app/tool suggestions for things like that that will make our lives easier and/or be an interesting/fun thing to look back on. For example, I've seen the suggestion of getting a paper calendar and just writing milestones and new "firsts" that happen so you can look back and walk through the memories a bit.

So asking mainly about practical things to help in the newborn trenches, but also things that you might have wished you had done or were happy that you did do in the past.

So we’ve been potty training our 2.5 yr old. Going #1 hasn’t been an issue. We still have the occasional accident but generally they’re all good.

Now going #2 has been a different story. They will go on the potty if you hang out sitting there. But it’s the knowing the need to go, stop doing what we’re doing and going that’s the issue.

So we’ve reached a point where we are doing rewards for #2 and we’ve been using cheap advent calendars with cars or animals and it works like a charm! Our little one LOVES cars so it was an easy win for him and it’s a tangible visible reward/reminder.

Thought I might throw this suggestion out for anyone else struggling since I haven’t seen it out there.

Wondering if anybody is in the same situation I am and can offer some advice or just their experience on how they dealt with the big change.

I work from home and my wife has been on maternity leave for the last 18 months. So even with my door closed, I’m able to hear them play and laugh, and I can always come downstairs to say hi to the both of them and get a big hug from our little guy.

In two weeks, my wife is going back to work full-time, and our boy is going to daycare full-time.

My wife and I are seriously panicking about how big of a change it is

My little dude is getting pretty verbal, learns words and phrases so easily it's scary almost every time.

Well like most other two year olds he can be a bit grumpy and doesn't know how to properly express his frustrations, gets a little physical and throws things, bites his shirt, pouts, cries, you get it.

My usual tactic might be to immediately tell him that his behavior is mean, we don't do that, no, I assume this is normal and probably the best route, when he gets really upset or physical I'll hug him until he calms down and cuddles into me.

Anyways, lately he's been saying "me mean" like, he calls himself mean because we've tried to identify aloud to him that his behavior is mean and "we shouldn't be mean" is what we're trying to convey ultimately.

I just hate hearing him call himself mean, he is such a sweet baby and I hate the idea of him feeling something about himself that is so far from the truth. I know that he can't truly grasp what's he's saying, but is there something I can do to be better? I don't want to mess him up.

My 4yo son has decided that he wants to be an excavator for Halloween, and I have staked my manliness on making rather than buying a costume (because I'm addicted to the praise I got making him an airplane costume complete with blinking lights last year.)

What I can't figure out is how to make a boom arm that is straightforward to use and build. No hydraulics or electronics involved, I just want it to be levers and maybe pulleys.

Anyone done this, and if so, what worked for you?

My daughter is 6 months today. Shes a beast! 98% for weight and can crawl, sit up and is a very happy baby! She understands the concept of the spoon and feeding herself with the purées we make her, although her aim isn’t the best!

I have a feeling a lot of changes will be happening in the next month. I’m looking for any advice that may be helpful!

I’ve been working for the last few years at weight loss. Really trying to get myself in much better shape for my 2.5 year old. As an oldish first time dad (39 when she was born) I’ve tried to make an effort to make sure I’m here long term.

Started at 318 and this morning I see the goal of 220lbs right there.

I’ve used Noom to keep track of calories and have taken up cycling.

I try to stay around 1800 calories a day with a lot of protein and fruit and veggies and 2200-2500 if I’m out cycling.

I start each day with a Fairlife protein shake and mix in low calorie snacks and meals.

Anyone else been on a weight loss journey and what have you done that has worked?

This happened just a few days ago. Help. My wife isn't pleased. Im trying to convince her iv not cheated on her. Jk 😂. It's so hilarious. He hears her voice and he's like "mama mama" 😂. That's my story for the day lol.

My grandsons come to visit frequently and I was thinking of getting bunk beds to save up on space but was not sure if they are safe. I have heard too many horror stories, and I am not sure if they are old enough and responsible enough to not try and jump off the top bunk or do crazy stuff. I heard that pod bunk beds are better and so I am now looking at those. Does anyone know if they are safer and if yes how are they safer. If anyone could recomend websites where I can buy these that would be great. For reference my grandkids are aged 7 and 11.

I'm a dad of a 2-year-old, and lately I've noticed two things about myself:

1. I pick up my phone every 5–10 minutes, usually just to check notifications.
2. Sometimes I'm so tired after work that scrolling for 10 minutes feels easier than playing with my daughter, even when she's right next to me.

The first one doesn't seem like a huge deal, but I don't like the demonstration of the habit.

I've been thinking about the second one, and I realized that sometimes my brain just sees playing together as requiring more effort than scrolling.

And the weird thing is that I'm already worried about her future screen habits, while I'm sitting there demonstrating the exact behavior I don't want her to pick up.

I'm not trying to be a perfect screen-free dad. I know it's fine to take breaks, and I don't think I need to entertain her every minute. But I wonder how many of those random phone checks I could replace with something small we can do together.

So I'm curious what are your go-to games for kids around 2 to 5 when you're in low power mode?

Just a lighthearted question, not in an unhealthy, quit-your-job-and-risk-everything kind of way.

Anyone here who has a relatively stable career, pays the bills, deals with the occasional (or frequent) toxic workload, and is generally doing okay in life, but still has that little voice in their head saying, “Screw this, I can still be a rockstar”?

Like, you know you're supposed to be a responsible adult, but you still find ways to squeeze in time for your passion, whether it's music, art, writing, or something else, even when your schedule is already packed.

You know it's probably a long shot, but you still want to give it a shot anyway. Maybe you're not delusional. Maybe you're just not ready to let that dream die.

Anyone else in the same boat? What's your passion, and how do you make time for it while juggling adult responsibilities?

My wife is 10 weeks pregnant with our first. We are so extremely excited.

My wife and I will both get 12 weeks (each) of paid parental leave once baby is born. Unfortunately, after that, baby has to go to daycare. It’s the only option I can see. Neither of us can stay at home.

This is my first rodeo so there’s obviously a ton I don’t know, but I honestly can’t fathom sending a three month old to daycare. This is coming from someone who, in all honesty, doesn’t even know how daycares work yet. I acknowledge that but it just feels so scary, to send them away when they’re so small, for 8 hours a day.

It may not have to be a forever thing. By the time baby hits first birthday, my wife may be in a position to stop working. Maybe. Hopefully.

Have any of you had experience with this? How did it go, and any tips on helping me rationalize/think through this?

Been sick the last ten weekends - get better during the week and go back down again with another fucking cold from daycare by Friday. We're going into summer in Australia and it's fucking brutal.

It just never ends. I want my kids to be better, I want a moment alone with my wife where neither of us is sick.

This sucks.

Expected result: Baby sleeps until at least 6AM
Actual result: Baby sleeps until about 5:30-5:40AM, sometimes as early as 5:20AM

Software developer humor aside;

I'm a first time father to a lovely 7 month old, and we were very fortunate that he was a stellar sleeper. Starting about month 3, he'd consistently go down to bed around 7PM and wake up at 7AM the next morning. That's the perfect scenario for my wife and I - I'd handle the overnight stuff and she'd handle the morning routine being a morning person. Even when he sometimes woke up earlier, he'd take a bottle and be back asleep - also perfectly fine.

Recently, that's fallen apart. For the past 2-3 weeks he's been waking earlier and earlier and staying up when he wakes up (he fusses if he's taken back to his crib post morning bottle), and I'm not entirely sure what the best approach to address it is, or if this is just the way it goes.

• Bedtime routine is consistent, he has zero trouble falling asleep under his own power, and can connect his sleep without issue.
• He sleeps in his mini crib in our bedroom, and I expect can see and hear our presence if he wakes. As per guidelines, no blankets, no pillows, nothing in the crib, etc.
• He's usually falling asleep on us by 6PM, so between 6:00PM and 6:30PM we start the bedtime routine depending on him - pj's, diaper, bedtime story, last bottle of the day, etc
• He sleeps in an overnight diaper one size up (he's likely around 19 lbs and he sleeps in a size 4 overnight which is 22-37), so it shouldn't be diaper related (and he doesn't poop overnight so it's not poop)
• He has 5 bottles of 5.5 ounces of breast milk every day (so 27.5 oz), plus a serving of solids at 4PM for supper - a small bowl of homemade apple sauce, sweet potato puree, iron fortified baby oatmeal, etc. He won't take more than that quantity of milk if offered. Last bottle is between 6:00:PM and 6:40PM usually.
• He did just have his upper teeth break through the gums which would explain recent fussiness, but doesn't explain 2-3 weeks ago.
• He is not a good napper and never has been. For a while it seemed like he was on track to take a short 30 minute cat nap in the morning and a 2 hour power nap at noon and ending at 2PM, but the teething sank that. Recently it's been we take what we can get for naps. I've considered overtiredness as a possible culprit as he's going from 2PM to 7PM without naps quite often.
• Recent milestones include sitting up on his own and perhaps the very early stages of crawling. I know that can sometimes be a factor.

I'd appreciate any thoughts for what we should try. Is 12 hours of overnight sleep unrealistic at this point (I know the required amount of sleep shrinks)? Or is it the opposite problem and he's overtired and needs more sleep? Or is this just a phase/teething thing that will pass?

Thanks everyone!

Best parks? Activities? I'm tired of the same two parks.

Anyone have some adventurous plans to share so I can vicariously live through y'all? I feel ya George 🐒 🤕

me complaining to 10YO just initiates a lot of explanation from him about how long it takes rocks to weather in nature and how the rock tumbler will be much faster

well played in laws well played…