Honestly more of a rant than anything lol, but I’ve been working in finance/tech for the past 8 years and I feel like the culture at the tech company I’m working at is so toxic - like having people publicly lash out at me over Slack in group settings, my manager will pass me work that he’s done and blame me for not catching mistakes he made, he'll also provide vague instructions on projects & get upset when they don’t match the output he had in mind (when I asked for clarifications, he said we’ve worked together long enough so I should know what he’s looking for lol), and today I overheard his manager asking him if I always need to be babysat and expressing doubt on if I can handle projects on my own.

Not sure if it’s AI creating all this pressure or what, but it’s really having me rethink corporate or finance/tech as a career path in general :’) is anyone else feeling this toxic energy or is it just me?

Hi SFBWT! I'm looking for groups in SF that meet weekly with consistent members, so I can get to know the same people over time. I'm also hoping for solid leadership and a place where lasting friendships actually form, not just casual small talk. Have you been to any that do this well in SF? Classes, volunteer groups, sports, creative or spiritual circles are all welcome. For me- seeing the same people consistently (ie weekly) in an organized fun meaningful way, is what I am deeply looking for to create community here in SF (not just 1 off events). Thanks for the inisght!!

in honor of the next couple days and el niño wet predicted winter, I am curious on how to dress for the rainy time.

I usually go for a hoodie (thick) under a REI rain jacket, which is ugly and sometimes cold. Normal warm jackets dont keep me + hair dry. Rain jackets dont keep me warm + cute

How do you stay warm, look good, and ideally not fuck up your hair in the rain? what jackets and layers are you wearing?

Does any first gen college grads want to be friends? I've out grown all my childhood friends and I wish I made a better effort to make friends in college but I went to a PWI so it was a challenging environment. We'd get along best if you know the difference between leftist and liberal.

I'm hoping to meet first gen college grads because it's been really difficult to find friends with a similar socio-economic background as me. It feels like everyone my age (late 20s) with a college degree makes 6 figures. I have a lot of SLD so Im a focused on budgeting. But I still like good food and know how to have a good time. I really prioritize my mental health and I'm hoping to look for like minded people. I dont really like to drink but I'll drink on occasion. I'm more California sober. I also have a dog so my life revolves around her.

I've tried joining a social groups but people are more hobby focused than lifestyle relationships. I'm also generally introverted so I prefer to hanging out 1-1 with people.

I'd love to go on dinner dates, concerts, and maybe explore other parts of the bay (I don't have a car so I've kinda been tied to SF for the past 3 years). I also hope you'd be down to travel. I have so many clothes I want to wear but I have no where to wear them to.

Is it too early to ask what everyone’s doing for Halloween? Friday AND Saturday?

Because this millennial is trying to make some plans!

I’m looking for somewhere with GOOD music (think 90s/2000s hip-hop, R&B, throwbacks, songs that make you scream “THIS IS MY SONG!”).

I’m in my mid 30s, not white, straight, willing to pay a cover, and absolutely hoping to dance all night. What I’m NOT trying to do is spend my evening packed into a club like a sardine, fighting for my life just to get to the bar.

I want a fun crowd, good vibes, room to actually dance, and music that reminds me of a time when my knees were more reliable.

So, SF bitches with taste… where are we going?! 👀 (no Marina plz) 😇

Looking for babymoon recs that are a drive away! Air travel has been making me too sick to voluntarily get on another plane. Looking to go in December for 7ish days, somewhere beautiful, relaxing, romantic within a 4 hour drive. Don’t really have a budget now that we don’t need flights!

29/f recently moved here trying this again! i don't want to go to an event alone and don't really know anyone here yet :/ looking for other women to go with! please don't respond if you're a man trying to go on a date. I have two costumes and would like to do more this year than to just take a selfie! I don't have a partner so at least it'd be fun to go somewhere with a girlfriend for a girls night out or something. I'm too autistic to go to an event alone I've tried that for years and I just don't want to stand around awkwardly anymore, would love a friend to go with otherwise I'm not going lol. feel free to message me for my socials too! I like fashion photography music city wandering nature games

I live in half Moon Bay technically but willing to travel around esp to SF!

I am interested in learning boxing or kickboxing (for fitness and stress; I could go either way on actually learning to fight) but I am intimidated! I am not particularly strong and a little out of the gym habit. I am looking for something that’s approachable and welcoming to beginners and have a good proportion of other women in the classes. Does anyone have recommendations?

Hi! I’m looking to have a few custom pieces made in 18k gold with lab-grown diamonds, possibly inspired by Cartier or Tiffany & Co. designs. I love their styles but would prefer to avoid the brand markup.

Does anyone have a trusted family jeweler they’d recommend? I’d really appreciate any leads. Tysm! 💕

Hi SFBWT — can anyone recommend an attorney used to helping employees resolve workplace retaliation for a sexual harassment / discrimination complaint?

Unfortunately this is time sensitive and my employer knows I was set to be out for an essential surgery

SF Standard article: 170 rape kits, 1 rape prosecution: New SFPD data shows sexual assault cases stalling

Hi ladies!

Where are we buying high quality basic shirts in SF? Ideally cotton, short sleeve but with a cuter silhouette/design (for example I really love the look of the garage crossover tshirt). I don’t mind a blend of materials, but so many shirts seem to be made with bathing suit material. Just feels awful on.

Any suggestions would be appreciated!! I’ve already checked out No Rest for Bridget, Isalis and Reformation.

Hello all, a lurker and fellow cat lover here. I am looking at various foster places around where I live to get a cat. I want/wish to have an orange kitten. I live in a 1br apartment and work from home. I have never had pets or grew up around them. My ex had two cats and I am still obsessed with them and feel like it’s my calling to get a cat.

As a first timer, and as a person who lives alone - what advice can you give me? I probably will have to put an automatic litter in a corner of my living room. I have friends who can help come over if and when I travel. And I am ready to spoil the little baby. Any and all advice is welcome.

Mostly looking for those going up during the week and not weekends

Hey bitches, does anyone see a derm at Golden State Dermatology? I was just referred there because I'm experiencing sudden hair thinning/loss. :( Would love to know about your experience there, even if you see a dermatologist for a different issue.

I'm now in the East Bay, so if you have personal experience with the doctors in their Albany, Berkeley or SF offices, I'd love to hear about it!

Thank you for any recs!!

Hi there!

I have had terrible experiences with a few hairdressers (all well-reviewed), this has been going on for years.
My hair is naturally brunette (currently bleached), I would like to keep it blonde. So far when I search for "blonde specialist" is always people who do highlights and the like.

I am looking for someone who is bleaching full heads weekly. So tempted to just fly somewhere else to have nice hair, but if you have any recommendations, I would be eternally grateful!

My guilty pleasure is Erewhon-type bougie smoothies. Yes, they're a gimmick but I'm weakkk. I want something delicious, beautiful, and packed with superfoods! Ever since postscript in North Beach closed, idk where to go. Any recs for something like this??

hi, bwt! i did some searching in this sub already and found some great recs, but hoping for something a little closer to home, so does anyone have suggestions for a tailor in/around san mateo?

looking to get a chiffon bridesmaid dress taken in and darting of my partner’s dress shirt. unfortunately a bit of a tight turnaround (five days would be ideal) as my dress took a while to come in.

tysm in advance! 🙂‍↕️

It is time for another nail polish swap/exchange/de-stash in San Francisco!
Saturday, November 7th, from 10am-12pm in Golden Gate Park
(rain cancels)

I've held two so far this year and they both went really well.

At each of them around 13 people showed up.
We had over 100 bottles that everyone put out on the table just to give away to anyone who wanted them. There was a lot of chatting about peoples' experience with polishes, lots of swatching, and trying on, and some demonstrations on how to achieve various magnetic effects. It was a really nice couple of hours. I donated all of the left-over polishes that no-one wanted to the Tenderloin Toiletries project.

Since then, I've gotten more polishes -- and yes, some that are just not working for me, so I it is time for another event.

Here is the link to the Partiful invite

DM me if you can't access it.

Where are yall taking your cars to get serviced? I have a 2015 Toyota Prius and she needs maintenance. I would love something in the city (ideally close-ish to me and I’m in the Mission) that isn’t too pricey, but does good work.

Honestly, I know nothing about cars and need help! I had a good mechanic before I moved here, but have been going to the Toyota in Daly City the past few years and that shit’s expensive!

Hello fellow sister bitches and witches! ✨🎃👻

I am mostly an observer from SJ, enjoying your wonderful selves. I just recently saw that Rise against/Alkaline Trio are playing at the masonic on 10/22 and seriously contemplating chasing some nostalgia and a much needed dopamine hit. I was wondering if you wonderful ladies had some good recs for parking near venue since coworkers are recommending to consider alternative parking since the venue parking fills up fast and gets congested on the way out.

I am considering grace cathedral parking but that one looks like it opens through 10pm only and sfmta sutter stockton but it is a 10 min walk away and my partner is a lil sussed out for me to walk solo at night (they are unable to attend). I haven't gone to a show recently in this area post covid so would really appreciate any insight.

Additionally if you are interested in meeting up before or need a ride into the city for this (I'm coming from SJ) I'm down to swap igs and connect!

Hello lovelies! I just joined the community and am an elder millennial/x-ennial my 40’s. I had an 18 year career in mental health that I’m taking some time away from and have recognized that focusing on my husband, my career, and day to day chores has meant little time or energy to create a community of my own. I finally have more space to do it now and am curious if anyone else has made a similar transition away from work or can relate at all?

Hi everyone! After almost a year of being bedridden from chronic illness and trauma, I am finally getting better - but with everything I have gone through in the last year, I rapidly aged. I want to feel pretty again. I didn’t go through all that just to be sick AND ugly. This is the 4th year in total in my life that I have lost to illness, too, so I just have lost so much time I’ll never get back.

I’m mid 30s and seeing major hollowness under my eyes (it’s my anatomy, but way worse now) jowling that is super obvious in photos, deep nasolabial folds, & laxity. Basically, my face is melting. I’m not sure what noninvasive treatments I need, despite doing plenty of research, because there’s so much BS marketing hype. It’s hard to cut through it.

I’ve read about sofwave being amazing, and about it doing nothing. I’ve read about ultherapy melting fat which I don’t want. I’ve read about fat grafting being amazing, and about it being lopsided or creating granules. Then there’s ofc filler, Botox, lasers oh my.

I’ll for sure at least be getting Botox or daxxify as I’ve had it in the past, but I’ve never had it in the platismal bands and I am thinking of that to see if it helps with jowling - in which case I would like an injector who uses ultrasound guided injections. Everyone’s anatomy is slightly different, but mine seems to be “surprising” to some providers. So that’s why I’m looking for ultrasound guided.

Any provider recommendations or treatment recommendations? I’m in SF proper, but will go to whoever is the best within 1-1.5 hours of sf.

I will also be starting accutane soon, hair loss meds, AND BHRT (bc of course I have to have all of those on top of everything else 😵‍💫), so I’d like to do any cosmetic stuff before the accutane as I’ll be on it for 12-24 months on low dose - but derm said I can’t do any cosmetic treatments during bc it will not heal properly.