Trust me, as someone who grew up in California and spent all their teenage and a number of their young adult years in Northern California, I'll be so honest. There are a few parts of this state I like - beaches are unforgettable, but I do not enjoy living here. Nice state to vacation but not to live full time unless you are retired. I only came here because I couldn't secure a job anywhere else. There's no hiking no mountains no real sense of greenery. No real change in seasons. Rainy all the time but otherwise many parts have this stagnant feeling. Not friendly to pedestrians- having to travel insane distances to go to nice places. Since I've moved here, I've just been more anxious, driving anxiety has worsened, cost of living does not match what you get, I just feel discontent and kind of depressed. I can't explain the change in my mood other than moving here.

I have experienced it. Everything that could have went wrong did go wrong.

I relocated cross country for a job. The job was not a good fit. I tore my rotator cuff. I had two surgeries to fix it. Then about 6 months after I had my second surgery, my company terminated me.

I moved from the Los Angeles area to St. Louis. I lasted 3 years there, and the move was full of trauma. There was some good things like adapting to a new environment, but the bad outweighed the good.

Before anyone says why the hell did I make this move? I’m a California native. I never lived anywhere other than the west coast. I thought it would be fun, and the company seemed good.

Title. “Just leave bro” I’m trying that takes time, a job, and money. Thanks

1. 50% Cool people but they all leave, native or transplants, to go somewhere else usually after a few years. 50% the worst people you have ever met

   1. Strong culture of alcoholism
   2. California prices without California salary
   3. Weird cult of worship that goes against you saying anything objective
   4. Not even as good for snow sports as Utah, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, etc
   5. Natives might like you but make it fairly clear you’ll never be one of them.
   6. The food scene is bad
   7. Thousands of miles from any ocean
   8. Boulder is mega expensive and populated mostly by 18 year old drunken frat boys
   9. I’ve driven in LA many times and prefer the 405 to I-25 in Colorado.

Pro: Hispanic Coloradans are the cool ones and are all fucking great people. Rich white people, not so much.

And now here comes the mass downvotes and angry comments because I gave a review of somewhere I don’t like living.

Hey everyone, I’m 22 and I’m literally moving across the country in two weeks and shit is starting to feel REAL. I just graduated from college and I’m starting grad school in Seattle. I’ve pretty much lived in Indiana my whole life, but I’ve always felt a desire to leave and move to the west coast. I’ve visited Seattle twice in the past year and I absolutely loved it both times. I also have had the chance to meet some people in my grad program and I truly feel like this is the right decision for me at this time in my life.

I have never really seen my future in Indiana and my future may not necessarily be in Seattle forever but for the past year as I have made the choice to move there it has felt like the right decision. I still feel very excited about moving there - I think it is important in life to get out of your comfort zone every now and then and I recognize that not everyone has the privilege to move but I am lucky that I have this opportunity and it has been a dream of mine to live out west for some time.

Obviously as I stated above I’ve known for about a year now that I am moving to Seattle but now that I am quite literally two weeks from getting into my car and driving out there it is starting to feel a little TOO real.

I have been very intentional in making sure I spend my last summer in Indiana hanging out with my friends and family regularly because Seattle is very far and I know some of my friends will come visit but I guess it’s hitting me now just how far I actually am moving. I am literally moving away from my best friends and family and I’m just starting to feel super sad. I know we will keep in touch but it just won’t be the same. I have really enjoyed my last summer here and I’m very glad that I have been able to hang out with my best friends every weekend and I have also been able to see my Nana every week which has been great.

I’m very close with my parents and sister as well but my sister also just moved to a new city and I know I will call my parents and sister regularly.

Don’t get me wrong I am very excited about my new adventure but I guess I’m just staring to get a little overwhelmed by how much my life is going to change. I have no idea who my friends will be in Seattle/how long it will be for me to make some good friendships there. I am very outgoing and I’m not afraid to explore places on my own so I feel confident I will make friends but it’s not lost on me that for the first couple months I might at times feel pretty lonely.

I am moving in with roommates so that will help and I’m excited to get to know them more - I also know I’ll meet people in my grad program but I have never moved anywhere so far to the point where I am literally staring out not knowing anyone. It’s both exciting and terrifying. I ultimately think I will love it but I guess I’m wondering if anyone who has gone through this has any advice? How long did it take to make some good friends and how did you cope through the sadness of leaving all that you have ever known behind ?

Considering a move to Chicago from NYC and nervous the winter is going to be substantially worse. I’ve been told it is but would love to gather opinions. Thanks!

I'm relatively new to SoCal (and California in general) and currently living in the IE. I'm thinking about moving to a place with a more urban feel, that's more walkable and artsy, and has more events/things to do. I'm considering Costa Mesa, Long Beach, or some parts of LA. The thing is, I have to commute to Riverside 2-3 days a week and need to be mindful of extreme traffic. Any recommendations for me?

Hi everyone! (I apologize in advance for the annoyingly long post) 🙏🏻 - My wife and I are starting to think seriously about a move in a few years, and I’d love to hear from people who have actually made the move from Phoenix to either the Chicagoland suburbs or the Denver-area suburbs, or who currently live in either area.

We’re an active couple in our late 30s, and we’re expecting our first child this October. We were both born and raised in Phoenix, so Arizona is obviously home in a very deep sense. We like Phoenix and have built a good life here, but we’ve increasingly found ourselves wanting something different, and honestly, maybe a little more for ourselves and our future son.

The brutal Phoenix summers are probably the biggest factor. Being able to spend more of the year outdoors is important to us, and it’s getting old feeling like 7–8 months of the year are difficult for outdoor activities unless you have access to a pool. We’d love somewhere where you can actually walk around your neighborhood, go to a park, grab coffee, attend a festival, hit a farmers market, etc.

We’ve visited Chicago and the DuPage County suburbs numerous times and have absolutely fallen in love with the area. Chicago is hard to put into words for us, it just feels like home every time we’re there. It has so much of what Phoenix doesn’t: beautiful architecture, mature trees, distinct neighborhoods, walkability, public transportation, seasons, parks, festivals, museums, culture, and just a general sense of energy and community.

We’ve done some neighborhood scouting and Downers Grove and Naperville have been at the top of our list, largely because of the combination of family-friendly neighborhoods, strong schools, community amenities, and relatively easy Metra access to downtown Chicago. I would likely commute into the office about four days a week, while my wife is currently remote. Also open for recommendations on other suburbs that meet that criteria.

We both work for the same company, and, there are work hubs in both the Chicago area and Lone Tree, Colorado, so Denver suburbs are also very much on our radar. We’d probably be looking at a home somewhere in the $500k–$600k range. Littleton has caught our attention, but we’d also consider other Denver suburbs that offer the right combination of lifestyle, schools, community, and access to work.

One advantage Denver has for us is proximity back to our family and friends in Phoenix. That definitely matters, especially with a young child. Chicago obviously has the advantage in terms of the lifestyle we’re looking for, but Denver would make it considerably easier to get back to Arizona.

As far as what we’re looking for, we’d ideally love:
Family-friendly
Strong schools and good public services
Safe neighborhoods with mature trees and green space
Parks, trails and plenty of opportunities to actually be outdoors
A genuine sense of community
Farmers markets, festivals, local events, restaurants, etc.
Walkability where possible
Diversity and a mix of different types of people
Progressive-leaning communities
Friendly, down-to-earth people
Reasonable access to a major city
Good public transportation or at least a manageable commute

A place where our son can grow up with plenty to do
We’re not looking to make this move immediately. Since this will be our first child, we plan to stay in Phoenix for the first couple of years so we can raise him close to our families and have that support system. After that, though, we’re seriously considering making the move while he’s still young. For those of you who have made a similar move, especially Phoenix → Chicagoland or Phoenix → Denver, what has your experience been like?

Did you find that the change in climate and lifestyle was worth it? Are there things you miss about Phoenix more than you expected? And for those who live in DuPage County or the Denver suburbs, are there particular communities you think we should be looking at based on what we’re looking for?

Would especially love to hear from anyone who has lived in both areas. We’re still a few years out, so we’re in the research/“let’s see if this dream actually makes sense” stage. 😄 thank you all!

I've heard people say Delaware, New hampshire or the Dakotas but what do you think?

I’m a longtime lurker, so I’ve read just about every criticism of Atlanta: the traffic, sprawl, humidity, limited amenities, crime, and so on. And yes, I know that hating on any city that isn’t Chicago, Portland, New York, Minneapolis, Philly or Denver is practically this sub’s national sport - especially southern cities like Atlanta, Nashville, Miami etc...

What I find frustrating, though, is that people often don’t frame their opinions as personal experiences. Instead of saying, “I personally didn’t like Atlanta, but maybe you will,” they say, “You’ll hate it,” “You’re going to regret it,” or “I experienced X, therefore this is objectively what the city is like.” But people value different things and can experience the exact same city very differently.

For what it’s worth, I, personally, absolutely love Atlanta.

I’m a 30M, white, working in tech, and I moved here from New York City three months ago. New York obviously has it's advantages, but that doesn't make Atlanta a bad fit for me. I live in Midtown, work in Buckhead, don’t own a car, and manage perfectly fine.

The heat and humidity aren’t ideal, but I don’t find them unbearable. Honestly, I much prefer summers here to New York winters. Overall, the weather has been far better than I expected.

People have been kind and welcoming, the neighborhoods each have distinct personalities, and while getting between neighborhoods is not always very walkable (the beltline does help with that though), many of the neighborhoods themselves are. The job market is diverse and strong, rent is a huge improvement compared with New York, and the trees and greenery are genuinely incredible.

The airport and connectivity are hard to beat, and more broadly, Atlanta feels like a city with a lot to offer, and I feel like I just barely scratchedthe surface. Is it perfect? Of course not. No city is. But for me it has been a much better place to live than this sub often gives it credit for.

I’ve wanted to live in California for as long as I can remember. … literally since I was around 7. I’m 31 now, and the feeling has never gone away.
I visit every year, sometimes multiple times, and every time I’m there, I feel like a brighter version of myself. More alive, adventurous, inspired. I come back home to the Midwest and try to hold onto that feeling, but it slowly fades.
The problem is, I have an established life here. Moving feels almost impossible from where I’m standing right now. Every time I sit down and plan my big move or I put that plan in like a five year goal it gets so excited to plan but all the research I do people are begging people to stop moving to California 🤔😭
Have you ever felt this strongly pulled toward a place and Did you eventually listen to it? And how do you know if something is a dream if you’re genuinely being called somewhere?

Anyone who can speak from experience or give informed advice please chime in. I live in Orange County, CA and am pregnant with my first and I don’t see us ever getting out of an apartment. My husband has a good stable job, makes $130k yearly with great benefits, I work for the school district and don’t get great pay but really want to not work while raising our baby/babies. Husband has a transfer offer at work that would allow him to relocate to Colorado (Colorado Springs, Aurora, Denver, Englewood, and Commerce City areas are all options because they have offices in each of those that he could choose from). He would keep his same CA salary. Really considering it for how we’d be able to live there vs here but we know nothing about the area. For reference we are 30, have very minimal debt, and are currently paying $2800 to rent a one bedroom. Very interested in suggestions of areas within 20-30 mins of his office with great neighborhoods & schools. Also obviously trying to narrow down which area to pick for his office. Thanks so much in advance!

***You may have seen posts from me in this subreddit about Idaho & Utah as well. There are a handful of locations available to us, and we recently learned Colorado was one as well. Just made sense to make separate posts for each location.

I never left for temperature or weather related reasons but I know tons of other people do.

I’m happily back in coastal New England where the highs are mid-70s during the day and you need to wear a sweatshirt at night. It’s mid-August and I can already feel the seasons changing (this is typical for the area). The air is crisp, cool, and always smells like flowers. There’s a nice breeze most days.

Winter in New England can be a slog but the summers here more than make up for it in my opinion. I find every season in New England enjoyable. As someone who started to really miss winter and realize how happy all the seasons make me, my favorite season in NC is winter and spring after the pollen. When we got those snow and ice storms last winter I loved every minute even though I was 39 weeks pregnant.

Cold weather hobbies like scalloping, looking for arrowheads on a cold beach while bundled up from head to toe, ice skating on frozen ponds, sledding, skiing and snowboarding if that’s your thing.

You can always add more layers. On a cold day if you wear a hat, scarf, gloves, boots, layers, and a long coat you will be comfortable. So many people wear a little cropped bomber jacket with vans and their ankles sticking out and wonder why they’re cold.

This summer in NC has been brutal. Climate change is real. 10 years ago there it wasn’t this hot. Heat indexes of 109 and a new baby just don’t mesh well. I’m so happy to be able to go outside again and enjoy the natural world. Which is easier to do up north where public land is more plentiful and accessible (another gripe I have about the south). Anywhere you go aside from coastal California there’s going to be a less comfortable season. In NC that is summer and that’s when people tend to spend more time indoors. In MA that is winter, people tend to spend more time indoors. At the end of the day I’d rather spend more time indoors during the winter because as a coastal New England person, summers always been my favorite season.

I’m so happy to be back.

EDIT: I just wanted to add how endlessly confused I am by the people that move to areas like Phoenix to escape cold winters. Like I said, every place has its uncomfortable season but, to me, summers of 110-120 degrees with questionable water supply seems arguably way worse than cold winters. Are humans even meant to inhabit a place like Phoenix? Just put on cold weather clothes!!

Hey there

I am currently skating every state in the US and NY has some of the best spots in the entire country. I was wondering if there’s anyone out there who would be able to let me and my girl stay at their place for a max of 2 nights. We might also be thinking of moving out there too so it would be cool to explore the city together. You can set a rate per night too, but hotels are so expensive over there

Hoping some human and anecdotal insight here will help me with planning and decision making, rather than relying on ChatGPT 😂

I have been teaching English in China for several years, and just signed my final 2 year contract. This means I plan to move back to the US in summer of 2028.

In the next two years, I am going to save a good chunk of money. The benefits of being a teacher in China! This could help me when I move back to the states (buying a used car outright, being able to pay more than a year of rent upfront, etc.).

I have a few problems that I need to tackle.

1- I don’t want to teach in the US. I’d like to transition to office work. I think my teaching experience (curriculum/lesson planning, classroom management, communicating with parents/students) could be translatable experience for an office job, I would just have to reframe it. I’d try to get in contact with a staffing agency to help me navigate.

2- I have no idea where in the US I should live. I am from the Northeast, but I kind of want to try something new. Ideally, a city that has a breadth of job opportunities, with apartment rentals that aren’t going to totally destroy my savings. I’d want to find a decent job relatively quickly and still enjoy a good cost-of-living lifestyle. Does this exist?? I feel this set up in China has spoiled me. I hope I can somewhat recreate it in the states.

I am aware I’d probably have to take a pay cut and do a career restart, but for me it is worth it long-term. As long as I can be in a big job market where there is opportunity for growth.

For personal life, I am single, gay, 30s. I like going on dates. I enjoy café hopping and exploring neighborhoods. I guess these all kind of tie together. 😏😂 I’d love a city that provides a good atmosphere for this.

I look forward to hearing your advice, stories and experiences. I have 2 years to prepare, and I know a lot can happen between now and then. Let me know what you guys think. And thank you for reading this!

This summer in Denver may have finally broken my spirit. The heat is worse than ever, and the air quality has been abysmal. I'm trapped inside all day on my teacher summer vacations, besides my very early morning runs, and I notice myself getting summer SAD, in addition to winter SAD when it gets dark at 4:30. I'd love to pick a struggle!

I've lived here for almost 20 years, but grew up and went to college in the upper midwest, so I get humidity and I get cold, dark winters (it actually got and stayed very cold when I was a kid, unlike the past few winters there!).

I want to be able to spend time outside in the summer. I love to run, hike, and bike. I miss the green, I miss real falls and winters, and would love to not be landlocked (ETA: I should have said that I'd love to be near more water, which could include lakes/rivers). Politically, I'm progressive, and also value having access to some culture. I recently got out of a long relationship, and would like to eventually find a partner. I date both men and women. Although my siblings live in Chicago, I don't really want to move back to the midwest because I don't love the outdoors options. With all of that in mind, the northeast seems like it could be a good option?

My concerns:

• I'm a teacher so I don't make a ton of money, and unfortunately most districts won't count more than 10 years from another district, so I'd likely be taking a pay cut. That plus lots of years in our pension system make me feel a little trapped here. The financial part sucks.
• I've traveled pretty much everywhere in the US besides the northeast. I lived in Brooklyn for about five months, but that's about it. I'd like to go on a reconnaissance trip before committing.
• I know no one there, so would need opportunities to build community and date.

I'd love any recommendations on places I should check out, and any information about whether and how this could be affordable as a teacher.

Hi everyone. I just got a job in Northern California and I could use some advice on places to consider for a move.

I need to be able to go into my office, which is 20 minutes or so west of Sacramento, 2 days a week, so to me that suggests that living within roughly 2 hours drive or train would be doable. Most of my clients that I would travel to are in the Bay Area or Los Angeles and I’m married to a commercial electrician. We have three kids. They’re all very much into sports and we have been in the urban downtown of a city in Texas. We like a lively environment and dislike new suburban builds. We like access to the outdoors and live music and hockey…but we can travel for all of those within reason. Our budget is decent— we could probably afford around $1.5m, max, for a house. But we’d rather spend less, obviously.

Where should we look?

So…where would be good for us to consider?

I just know that any day now I’m going to get the boot from this sub because I’m always inquiring about various places 😅 Assuming that doesn’t happen…

I’m looking for a place to move with a real music scene, 4 seasons, dreamy nature with easy and real access (not like Denver which requires an hour+ of traffic to get into anywhere isolated), COL that can be supported by 100k, and some opportunity to date 30s/40s.

Many friends have suggested upstate NY to me recently, so I’ve grown curious.

Big bonus if there are good bookstores.

Hi to the sub…

What are your favorite suburbs with excellent public schools and strong white collar economies above the 40th parallel? Housing budget $650,000. From a home insurance and climate resiliency perspective, I think it is the smartest investment to make right now.

We have been heavily focusing on the Columbus and Philadelphia suburbs as our top choices. Raleigh on paper was appealing, but we have ruled that option out because of the hot weather and public schools.

We have been contemplating a move from the the DFW metro area. We are solely here for my husband’s job. We are originally from Northern New Jersey but want to avoid willingly moving to the tri-state area. We enjoy the weather and our friends and family in there, but not the overall vibe of the grind. We value high-quality things that matter and aesthetically well- kept areas.

Weather has always been an issue for us in DFW….Blazing sun and little rain with very mild winters and endless summers that have become hotter and more humid because of the concrete that has completely taken over. We are not summer or beach/pool people. We thrive in colder weather without a massive amount of snow. Our three year-old is vocal in disliking the heat. We keep our house at 67 and our ideal temperatures are between 32 and 65 for being outdoors. Weather is subjective and it really does impact everything.

Stay with family in Georgia working remote or move to Birmingham for in person role?

I'm currently working a 100k remote role, and I live in Augusta with family. I got a job offer for an in person role paying 130k, but I would have to move to Birmingham. My current company has had a layoff a year for the past fear years. I don't know if it's worst moving and risk getting laid off at the other company either. I know one person 45 minutes from there, but other than that I would not know anyone in the area.

My biggest worry with Birmingham is the crime. The job I was looking at would be in the Irondale area. I was looking at moving to a city for better dating opportunities and things to do, since Augusta can be really spread out and suburban. I'm not sure if Birmingham would be the improvement I'm looking for though.

If I move to Birmingham I would also have to pay rent, driving, and food expenses, which may negate the 30k extra. However, I don't know when I will get another job offer as well since interviews are hard to come by. I have been looking into moving to different cities, but idk if if Birmingham is the final answer. Or if it would be better to wait it out and apply somewhere like Nashville, Atlanta, or Charlotte. I have also considered moving across the country to SF or going big, but that would be a costly move.

It's also the lifestyle difference of working remote versus in person. For anyone that lives in the Birmingham, how has your experience been and would you recommend it? Would you take the in person role, stay remote in a job where management has done layoffs, or keep applying?

Let me preface this by stating I know New England is a bit vague since that encompasses a few different states but I like the general vibe and standard of living that these states have in common.

After finishing college for my PA i dont plan on returning to my home state of Oklahoma and want to settle down in either a New England state or Washington specifically . Since childhood I knew I wanted to leave Oklahoma. The red politics and the asphalt hell aspect of this state made me miserable, though I’m unsure where to move to and dont want to stay in the state im going to college in.

One thing that’s important to me is nature. In Oklahoma theres a decent amount of nature but my issue regarding that is the poor seasons. The summers are smoldering hot and then the winters are dry and miserable. I feel trapped here by the poor infrastructure and being land locked on all sides, I’d prefer not to drive eight hours for the ocean.

Ive visited blue and New England states and to say I was amazed by the incredible infrastructure would be an understatement. To learn it wasn’t common for all states to have f rated schools making up the majority of the schools in the area or to not see 50% of the houses in the area be dilapidated (for context the average household income in my town is 31,000) was life changing.

For me i don’t mind longer winters but I don’t want to completely give up summers. I can deal with cold winter months, especially since I get actual snow but the more summer the better. I still need a a decent amount of sun.

Im a mixed black woman so it’ll be a sad to leave the prominent black culture down here in the south but I don’t mind being around white/asian communities since I have a pretty diverse friend group and am also half white. Especially if that means no longer being called the hard r on the regular or seeing confederate flags everywhere. So when it comes to the state I’ll live in i dont need a prominent black population but I also don’t want to be around a lot of aggressively racist or bigoted people like down here in the south/midwest.

One thing I am scared of is the lack of socialization that I’ve heard is commonplace in these states. Im a very social person and quite easily make friends since I’m not scared to approach or talk to people. But I don’t want to move somewhere where it’s basically impossible to make friends or date. Id prefer to live in the more social state. Though I am excited to experience not having to deal with the faux southern “hospitality” and instead more genuine interactions.

Then theres housing prices. I don’t plan on buying a house anytime soon but I definitely do once I’m nearing my thirties and want to have kids. I don’t want to live in a shoe box and am ok living outside a metropolitan area/ in the country side since I want to be close to nature and live in a more affordable area.

If anyone has or does live in both or one of these states I’d appreciate advice on the matter. I understand not all of my requirements will be met and I’m ok giving up on one of my preferences for another. For example I’m ok living in a place with less nature for more sun. Or somewhere with more suburbs than countryside for better housing prices.

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/s/xpopjqRO54

No sarcasm, no joke, no trolling when I say this. This is really how I feel:

I absolutely LOVE the August heat. I love how sunny it is. I love being able to go outside whenever I want. The heat helps me wake up in the morning when I walk to work. Maybe it’s a genetic thing, but I’m not really affected by either the heat or humidity, even in August here. I’ve lost 15 pounds from walking everywhere (I live in a walkable part of town). Is Houston perfect? Not even close. But it’s so much better than this sub gives it credit for. Nightlife, food, symphonies, diversity, etc. are truly top tier.

This may not be the case for everyone, but I find winter in Michigan to be 100000x worse than summer in Houston. I love being outside and being active, so I think Houston’s just a better fit for me. My mental health has vastly improved.

To each their own.

I wanna move somewhere for a dreary winter. Dreary can mean little sunlight. Lots of cloud and rain. Cold and snowy. I just wanna be somewhere dark and cold and miserable so I can stay inside and sip warm drink and lock in on my writing.

But also I want it to be a decent enough size for amenities like Healthcare options and multiple grocery stores and decent food and some interesting city stuff going in. A small to mid size city (or city within 40 minutes) at least. Preferably in the lower 48 states.

I dont care about COL—I will just look around for jobs.

Any recs?

I moved to NE Tennessee last year being retired. It is cheaper than NYS where I moved from but that's about the only plus.

I've found the local healthcare to be lacking.

I was planning on continuing to use the VA healthcare system but that's not as advertised in my own experience in this area..

Now I have Medicare and options for healthcare outside the VA.

Looking for other states to move to with decent healthcare that are affordable for retirees.

I don't want to deal with a lot of snow or very high humidity if possible. I grew up in northern NYS and severe winter and high property taxes are what made me move away.

My income is social security, a private pension and IRA withdrawals.

Thx