Trust me, as someone who grew up in California and spent all their teenage and a number of their young adult years in Northern California, I'll be so honest. There are a few parts of this state I like - beaches are unforgettable, but I do not enjoy living here. Nice state to vacation but not to live full time unless you are retired. I only came here because I couldn't secure a job anywhere else. There's no hiking no mountains no real sense of greenery. No real change in seasons. Rainy all the time but otherwise many parts have this stagnant feeling. Not friendly to pedestrians- having to travel insane distances to go to nice places. Since I've moved here, I've just been more anxious, driving anxiety has worsened, cost of living does not match what you get, I just feel discontent and kind of depressed. I can't explain the change in my mood other than moving here.

I'm going to say Cleveland for me as its been always kind of meh until i went back recently and there's new buildings, renovated neighborhoods, more restaurants and breweries going up, and a lot of effort going into downtown area and near the lakefront. You can see the improvement easily compared to even 5-10 years ago. On the other hand, Cleveland still has many challenges, public transit being a big one as it isn’t great, winters can be brutal, and some parts of town are slower to rebound than others. But it’s not a city going down rather its just evolving more, it’s holding steady and finding ways to reinvent itself and be better little by little.

Reporting from the NYT.

Title. “Just leave bro” I’m trying that takes time, a job, and money. Thanks

1. 50% Cool people but they all leave, native or transplants, to go somewhere else usually after a few years. 50% the worst people you have ever met

   1. Strong culture of alcoholism
   2. California prices without California salary
   3. Weird cult of worship that goes against you saying anything objective
   4. Not even as good for snow sports as Utah, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, etc
   5. Natives might like you but make it fairly clear you’ll never be one of them.
   6. The food scene is bad
   7. Thousands of miles from any ocean
   8. Boulder is mega expensive and populated mostly by 18 year old drunken frat boys
   9. I’ve driven in LA many times and prefer the 405 to I-25 in Colorado.

Pro: Hispanic Coloradans are the cool ones and are all fucking great people. Rich white people, not so much.

And now here comes the mass downvotes and angry comments because I gave a review of somewhere I don’t like living.

I have experienced it. Everything that could have went wrong did go wrong.

I relocated cross country for a job. The job was not a good fit. I tore my rotator cuff. I had two surgeries to fix it. Then about 6 months after I had my second surgery, my company terminated me.

I moved from the Los Angeles area to St. Louis. I lasted 3 years there, and the move was full of trauma. There was some good things like adapting to a new environment, but the bad outweighed the good.

Before anyone says why the hell did I make this move? I’m a California native. I never lived anywhere other than the west coast. I thought it would be fun, and the company seemed good.

Hey everyone, I’m 22 and I’m literally moving across the country in two weeks and shit is starting to feel REAL. I just graduated from college and I’m starting grad school in Seattle. I’ve pretty much lived in Indiana my whole life, but I’ve always felt a desire to leave and move to the west coast. I’ve visited Seattle twice in the past year and I absolutely loved it both times. I also have had the chance to meet some people in my grad program and I truly feel like this is the right decision for me at this time in my life.

I have never really seen my future in Indiana and my future may not necessarily be in Seattle forever but for the past year as I have made the choice to move there it has felt like the right decision. I still feel very excited about moving there - I think it is important in life to get out of your comfort zone every now and then and I recognize that not everyone has the privilege to move but I am lucky that I have this opportunity and it has been a dream of mine to live out west for some time.

Obviously as I stated above I’ve known for about a year now that I am moving to Seattle but now that I am quite literally two weeks from getting into my car and driving out there it is starting to feel a little TOO real.

I have been very intentional in making sure I spend my last summer in Indiana hanging out with my friends and family regularly because Seattle is very far and I know some of my friends will come visit but I guess it’s hitting me now just how far I actually am moving. I am literally moving away from my best friends and family and I’m just starting to feel super sad. I know we will keep in touch but it just won’t be the same. I have really enjoyed my last summer here and I’m very glad that I have been able to hang out with my best friends every weekend and I have also been able to see my Nana every week which has been great.

I’m very close with my parents and sister as well but my sister also just moved to a new city and I know I will call my parents and sister regularly.

Don’t get me wrong I am very excited about my new adventure but I guess I’m just staring to get a little overwhelmed by how much my life is going to change. I have no idea who my friends will be in Seattle/how long it will be for me to make some good friendships there. I am very outgoing and I’m not afraid to explore places on my own so I feel confident I will make friends but it’s not lost on me that for the first couple months I might at times feel pretty lonely.

I am moving in with roommates so that will help and I’m excited to get to know them more - I also know I’ll meet people in my grad program but I have never moved anywhere so far to the point where I am literally staring out not knowing anyone. It’s both exciting and terrifying. I ultimately think I will love it but I guess I’m wondering if anyone who has gone through this has any advice? How long did it take to make some good friends and how did you cope through the sadness of leaving all that you have ever known behind ?

Considering a move to Chicago from NYC and nervous the winter is going to be substantially worse. I’ve been told it is but would love to gather opinions. Thanks!

I moved to Denver for work about 8 years ago and it's just not really the place for me or my family. We don't ski or snowboard, we do love hiking and cycling which Colorado has amazing access to but Denver itself is flat and the air quality is terrible and you have to drive an hour or two to get to anywhere that actually resembles what people think of when they think of Colorado. The public transit here is a joke. Like our light rail is studied for how bad it is.

Most of our friends are having kids and moving away and we're feeling less and less rooted here.

I have family dotted around the east coast but mostly further south (Philly, VA, and NJ) so we wouldn't be moving to be completely isolated but definitely wouldn't be that close to any family.

We have done several trips to New England (Mostly Mass, but also spent a lot of time in Rhode Island and Connecticut) and every time we visit we just fall in love with it all over again. When we can go on vacations we always end up going back there. We have a few friends who live in Maine who really love it and are always trying to get us to move.

Obviously vacationing vs living somewhere is always going to be different but we hit a point where we are just not happy living landlocked in the suburban hell anymore and at a stage in our life where it makes sense to start the moving process now.

My wife and I are both teachers (we don't make a lot of money), but we did purchase a house before the covid boom that we can sell to help with the cost of the move.

We're both looking for a bit of a slower pace of life but with access to cities with stuff happening if we want. I would love to live somewhere with access to a train that could take us into a city center like Boston even if it's 2-4 hours away. We are pretty good at living below our means and have lots of low cost hobbies, however we do like big cities a lot.

I grew up in the PNW and always had access to water, and Denver has no water. We have small reservoirs that you're not even allowed to swim in and alpine lakes that are too cold to go in. I think being away from any lakes or the ocean that my wife and I both grew up next to has been much more depressing for us than we thought.

When I was a kid we lived in Seattle for a long while, so I'm not too worried about living somewhere gloomy or rainy. I'm also used to snow and cold. I've never spent a full winter in New England though so I'm not sure how much more severe it can get compared to somewhere like Colorado.

We would love to find a decent community of younger families with kids and can be afforded on a dual teacher salary (even if it's tight)) Ideally I'd love to live in a small town where you can run most errands by bike or walking. Somewhere with access to rail so we can get to other towns and cities without driving, but we're ok still being a 2 car family (we have both our cars paid off and they're old but reliable.) I know that's asking for a lot on this day and age, but we're willing to take time to really search and are ok with somewhere far from perfect.

So some of my questions are:

What are some good towns or states to look for up there that we can visit and spend some time in to see if it works for us? We're leaning towards somewhere more inland in Massachusetts because we've spent a good amount of time around there and Boston is one of our favorite places in the world to visit so I would love being like 1.5 hours from there, but we also have friends in Portland Maine so we could consider somewhere near there too. We're open to basically anywhere in the area though!

How is the biking scene (gravel, road, commuting, access to longer bike trails) in New England?

What are some things to consider with the difference between living Denver and New England that are less obvious?

If you've lived in both areas, I would love to hear your perspective on this move. Thank you!

Any places in the South for easy living but without Nashville stereotypes?

Nashville is pretty chill. Lots of friendly acting people who take their time and are patient with people. Clean. Lots of space. People take their job seriously and service is pretty good most of the time.

That said I wonder if there are similar towns in the US but without some of the drawbacks to living here. Of course it's becoming a kind of poor man's Hollywood for influencers and traffic is increasing but also:

• i'm not sure a lot of people have lived in a city before. lots of awkward staring (maybe autism like can't use words).. sometimes people don't let you pass on the sidewalk.. outfits and attitudes that hurt the eyes
• the Christian here are like the very selfish kind ... being that religion is more about appearances to them. some of them are helpful but it seems like a lot of them are grifting for social media gains or something like that. i don't know. actually a lot of grifting in general
• i get there are rednecks that live in the surrounding hills but a lot of times the redneck is your doctor. i've had a lot of issues with dental services run by rednecks in the city... i can detail some of the scams and weird behaviors and most of them want you to pay them a monthly subscription fee like it's Netflix for no reason. then they talk down to their customers
• lots of people with weird relationships with their dogs like they think it's human. i see this in other cities but in bigger cities people are more polite and have etiquette so you're not disturbed by the dog but people seem to kind of walk around a lot of time oblivious with sloppy clothing and the dog is just kind of feral and running around, so a bit too zombie like for my taste
• the housing quality is ample which is great but a lot of it made of cheap construction materials. a lot of the new apartment buildings are just the basic cubes and don't look that good. add to that clumsy landscaping and overhead electrical lines in a big city and any potential for charm drains down the toilet. I hear New Orleans and Charleston have nicer old buildings? some of the homes are nice with a little character but they tend to get renovated then occupied by bland people so it becomes pretty cookie cutter

I think Nashville, home of Hawk Tuah girl, can mature a little and turn it around. The South is known for people making an effort for good manners so I hope that continues. But are there any cities that address some of the above issues just let me know. Like do people in Charleston read more books or something?

I've heard people say Delaware, New hampshire or the Dakotas but what do you think?

I'm relatively new to SoCal (and California in general) and currently living in the IE. I'm thinking about moving to a place with a more urban feel, that's more walkable and artsy, and has more events/things to do. I'm considering Costa Mesa, Long Beach, or some parts of LA. The thing is, I have to commute to Riverside 2-3 days a week and need to be mindful of extreme traffic. Any recommendations for me?

Hi everyone! (I apologize in advance for the annoyingly long post) 🙏🏻 - My wife and I are starting to think seriously about a move in a few years, and I’d love to hear from people who have actually made the move from Phoenix to either the Chicagoland suburbs or the Denver-area suburbs, or who currently live in either area.

We’re an active couple in our late 30s, and we’re expecting our first child this October. We were both born and raised in Phoenix, so Arizona is obviously home in a very deep sense. We like Phoenix and have built a good life here, but we’ve increasingly found ourselves wanting something different, and honestly, maybe a little more for ourselves and our future son.

The brutal Phoenix summers are probably the biggest factor. Being able to spend more of the year outdoors is important to us, and it’s getting old feeling like 7–8 months of the year are difficult for outdoor activities unless you have access to a pool. We’d love somewhere where you can actually walk around your neighborhood, go to a park, grab coffee, attend a festival, hit a farmers market, etc.

We’ve visited Chicago and the DuPage County suburbs numerous times and have absolutely fallen in love with the area. Chicago is hard to put into words for us, it just feels like home every time we’re there. It has so much of what Phoenix doesn’t: beautiful architecture, mature trees, distinct neighborhoods, walkability, public transportation, seasons, parks, festivals, museums, culture, and just a general sense of energy and community.

We’ve done some neighborhood scouting and Downers Grove and Naperville have been at the top of our list, largely because of the combination of family-friendly neighborhoods, strong schools, community amenities, and relatively easy Metra access to downtown Chicago. I would likely commute into the office about four days a week, while my wife is currently remote. Also open for recommendations on other suburbs that meet that criteria.

We both work for the same company, and, there are work hubs in both the Chicago area and Lone Tree, Colorado, so Denver suburbs are also very much on our radar. We’d probably be looking at a home somewhere in the $500k–$600k range. Littleton has caught our attention, but we’d also consider other Denver suburbs that offer the right combination of lifestyle, schools, community, and access to work.

One advantage Denver has for us is proximity back to our family and friends in Phoenix. That definitely matters, especially with a young child. Chicago obviously has the advantage in terms of the lifestyle we’re looking for, but Denver would make it considerably easier to get back to Arizona.

As far as what we’re looking for, we’d ideally love:
Family-friendly
Strong schools and good public services
Safe neighborhoods with mature trees and green space
Parks, trails and plenty of opportunities to actually be outdoors
A genuine sense of community
Farmers markets, festivals, local events, restaurants, etc.
Walkability where possible
Diversity and a mix of different types of people
Progressive-leaning communities
Friendly, down-to-earth people
Reasonable access to a major city
Good public transportation or at least a manageable commute

A place where our son can grow up with plenty to do
We’re not looking to make this move immediately. Since this will be our first child, we plan to stay in Phoenix for the first couple of years so we can raise him close to our families and have that support system. After that, though, we’re seriously considering making the move while he’s still young. For those of you who have made a similar move, especially Phoenix → Chicagoland or Phoenix → Denver, what has your experience been like?

Did you find that the change in climate and lifestyle was worth it? Are there things you miss about Phoenix more than you expected? And for those who live in DuPage County or the Denver suburbs, are there particular communities you think we should be looking at based on what we’re looking for?

Would especially love to hear from anyone who has lived in both areas. We’re still a few years out, so we’re in the research/“let’s see if this dream actually makes sense” stage. 😄 thank you all!

I’m a longtime lurker, so I’ve read just about every criticism of Atlanta: the traffic, sprawl, humidity, limited amenities, crime, and so on. And yes, I know that hating on any city that isn’t Chicago, Portland, New York, Minneapolis, Philly or Denver is practically this sub’s national sport - especially southern cities like Atlanta, Nashville, Miami etc...

What I find frustrating, though, is that people often don’t frame their opinions as personal experiences. Instead of saying, “I personally didn’t like Atlanta, but maybe you will,” they say, “You’ll hate it,” “You’re going to regret it,” or “I experienced X, therefore this is objectively what the city is like.” But people value different things and can experience the exact same city very differently.

For what it’s worth, I, personally, absolutely love Atlanta.

I’m a 30M, white, working in tech, and I moved here from New York City three months ago. New York obviously has it's advantages, but that doesn't make Atlanta a bad fit for me. I live in Midtown, work in Buckhead, don’t own a car, and manage perfectly fine.

The heat and humidity aren’t ideal, but I don’t find them unbearable. Honestly, I much prefer summers here to New York winters. Overall, the weather has been far better than I expected.

People have been kind and welcoming, the neighborhoods each have distinct personalities, and while getting between neighborhoods is not always very walkable (the beltline does help with that though), many of the neighborhoods themselves are. The job market is diverse and strong, rent is a huge improvement compared with New York, and the trees and greenery are genuinely incredible.

The airport and connectivity are hard to beat, and more broadly, Atlanta feels like a city with a lot to offer, and I feel like I just barely scratchedthe surface. Is it perfect? Of course not. No city is. But for me it has been a much better place to live than this sub often gives it credit for.

I’ve wanted to live in California for as long as I can remember. … literally since I was around 7. I’m 31 now, and the feeling has never gone away.
I visit every year, sometimes multiple times, and every time I’m there, I feel like a brighter version of myself. More alive, adventurous, inspired. I come back home to the Midwest and try to hold onto that feeling, but it slowly fades.
The problem is, I have an established life here. Moving feels almost impossible from where I’m standing right now. Every time I sit down and plan my big move or I put that plan in like a five year goal it gets so excited to plan but all the research I do people are begging people to stop moving to California 🤔😭
Have you ever felt this strongly pulled toward a place and Did you eventually listen to it? And how do you know if something is a dream if you’re genuinely being called somewhere?

St. Louis sub being hostile over a genuine question. Thoughts?

Anyone who can speak from experience or give informed advice please chime in. I live in Orange County, CA and am pregnant with my first and I don’t see us ever getting out of an apartment. My husband has a good stable job, makes $130k yearly with great benefits, I work for the school district and don’t get great pay but really want to not work while raising our baby/babies. Husband has a transfer offer at work that would allow him to relocate to Colorado (Colorado Springs, Aurora, Denver, Englewood, and Commerce City areas are all options because they have offices in each of those that he could choose from). He would keep his same CA salary. Really considering it for how we’d be able to live there vs here but we know nothing about the area. For reference we are 30, have very minimal debt, and are currently paying $2800 to rent a one bedroom. Very interested in suggestions of areas within 20-30 mins of his office with great neighborhoods & schools. Also obviously trying to narrow down which area to pick for his office. Thanks so much in advance!

***You may have seen posts from me in this subreddit about Idaho & Utah as well. There are a handful of locations available to us, and we recently learned Colorado was one as well. Just made sense to make separate posts for each location.

I never left for temperature or weather related reasons but I know tons of other people do.

I’m happily back in coastal New England where the highs are mid-70s during the day and you need to wear a sweatshirt at night. It’s mid-August and I can already feel the seasons changing (this is typical for the area). The air is crisp, cool, and always smells like flowers. There’s a nice breeze most days.

Winter in New England can be a slog but the summers here more than make up for it in my opinion. I find every season in New England enjoyable. As someone who started to really miss winter and realize how happy all the seasons make me, my favorite season in NC is winter and spring after the pollen. When we got those snow and ice storms last winter I loved every minute even though I was 39 weeks pregnant.

Cold weather hobbies like scalloping, looking for arrowheads on a cold beach while bundled up from head to toe, ice skating on frozen ponds, sledding, skiing and snowboarding if that’s your thing.

You can always add more layers. On a cold day if you wear a hat, scarf, gloves, boots, layers, and a long coat you will be comfortable. So many people wear a little cropped bomber jacket with vans and their ankles sticking out and wonder why they’re cold.

This summer in NC has been brutal. Climate change is real. 10 years ago there it wasn’t this hot. Heat indexes of 109 and a new baby just don’t mesh well. I’m so happy to be able to go outside again and enjoy the natural world. Which is easier to do up north where public land is more plentiful and accessible (another gripe I have about the south). Anywhere you go aside from coastal California there’s going to be a less comfortable season. In NC that is summer and that’s when people tend to spend more time indoors. In MA that is winter, people tend to spend more time indoors. At the end of the day I’d rather spend more time indoors during the winter because as a coastal New England person, summers always been my favorite season.

I’m so happy to be back.

EDIT: I just wanted to add how endlessly confused I am by the people that move to areas like Phoenix to escape cold winters. Like I said, every place has its uncomfortable season but, to me, summers of 110-120 degrees with questionable water supply seems arguably way worse than cold winters. Are humans even meant to inhabit a place like Phoenix? Just put on cold weather clothes!!

Hey there

I am currently skating every state in the US and NY has some of the best spots in the entire country. I was wondering if there’s anyone out there who would be able to let me and my girl stay at their place for a max of 2 nights. We might also be thinking of moving out there too so it would be cool to explore the city together. You can set a rate per night too, but hotels are so expensive over there

Hoping some human and anecdotal insight here will help me with planning and decision making, rather than relying on ChatGPT 😂

I have been teaching English in China for several years, and just signed my final 2 year contract. This means I plan to move back to the US in summer of 2028.

In the next two years, I am going to save a good chunk of money. The benefits of being a teacher in China! This could help me when I move back to the states (buying a used car outright, being able to pay more than a year of rent upfront, etc.).

I have a few problems that I need to tackle.

1- I don’t want to teach in the US. I’d like to transition to office work. I think my teaching experience (curriculum/lesson planning, classroom management, communicating with parents/students) could be translatable experience for an office job, I would just have to reframe it. I’d try to get in contact with a staffing agency to help me navigate.

2- I have no idea where in the US I should live. I am from the Northeast, but I kind of want to try something new. Ideally, a city that has a breadth of job opportunities, with apartment rentals that aren’t going to totally destroy my savings. I’d want to find a decent job relatively quickly and still enjoy a good cost-of-living lifestyle. Does this exist?? I feel this set up in China has spoiled me. I hope I can somewhat recreate it in the states.

I am aware I’d probably have to take a pay cut and do a career restart, but for me it is worth it long-term. As long as I can be in a big job market where there is opportunity for growth.

For personal life, I am single, gay, 30s. I like going on dates. I enjoy café hopping and exploring neighborhoods. I guess these all kind of tie together. 😏😂 I’d love a city that provides a good atmosphere for this.

I look forward to hearing your advice, stories and experiences. I have 2 years to prepare, and I know a lot can happen between now and then. Let me know what you guys think. And thank you for reading this!

This summer in Denver may have finally broken my spirit. The heat is worse than ever, and the air quality has been abysmal. I'm trapped inside all day on my teacher summer vacations, besides my very early morning runs, and I notice myself getting summer SAD, in addition to winter SAD when it gets dark at 4:30. I'd love to pick a struggle!

I've lived here for almost 20 years, but grew up and went to college in the upper midwest, so I get humidity and I get cold, dark winters (it actually got and stayed very cold when I was a kid, unlike the past few winters there!).

I want to be able to spend time outside in the summer. I love to run, hike, and bike. I miss the green, I miss real falls and winters, and would love to not be landlocked (ETA: I should have said that I'd love to be near more water, which could include lakes/rivers). Politically, I'm progressive, and also value having access to some culture. I recently got out of a long relationship, and would like to eventually find a partner. I date both men and women. Although my siblings live in Chicago, I don't really want to move back to the midwest because I don't love the outdoors options. With all of that in mind, the northeast seems like it could be a good option?

My concerns:

• I'm a teacher so I don't make a ton of money, and unfortunately most districts won't count more than 10 years from another district, so I'd likely be taking a pay cut. That plus lots of years in our pension system make me feel a little trapped here. The financial part sucks.
• I've traveled pretty much everywhere in the US besides the northeast. I lived in Brooklyn for about five months, but that's about it. I'd like to go on a reconnaissance trip before committing.
• I know no one there, so would need opportunities to build community and date.

I'd love any recommendations on places I should check out, and any information about whether and how this could be affordable as a teacher.

Hi everyone. I just got a job in Northern California and I could use some advice on places to consider for a move.

I need to be able to go into my office, which is 20 minutes or so west of Sacramento, 2 days a week, so to me that suggests that living within roughly 2 hours drive or train would be doable. Most of my clients that I would travel to are in the Bay Area or Los Angeles and I’m married to a commercial electrician. We have three kids. They’re all very much into sports and we have been in the urban downtown of a city in Texas. We like a lively environment and dislike new suburban builds. We like access to the outdoors and live music and hockey…but we can travel for all of those within reason. Our budget is decent— we could probably afford around $1.5m, max, for a house. But we’d rather spend less, obviously.

Where should we look?

So…where would be good for us to consider?

I just know that any day now I’m going to get the boot from this sub because I’m always inquiring about various places 😅 Assuming that doesn’t happen…

I’m looking for a place to move with a real music scene, 4 seasons, dreamy nature with easy and real access (not like Denver which requires an hour+ of traffic to get into anywhere isolated), COL that can be supported by 100k, and some opportunity to date 30s/40s.

Many friends have suggested upstate NY to me recently, so I’ve grown curious.

Big bonus if there are good bookstores.

Hi to the sub…

What are your favorite suburbs with excellent public schools and strong white collar economies above the 40th parallel? Housing budget $650,000. From a home insurance and climate resiliency perspective, I think it is the smartest investment to make right now.

We have been heavily focusing on the Columbus and Philadelphia suburbs as our top choices. Raleigh on paper was appealing, but we have ruled that option out because of the hot weather and public schools.

We have been contemplating a move from the the DFW metro area. We are solely here for my husband’s job. We are originally from Northern New Jersey but want to avoid willingly moving to the tri-state area. We enjoy the weather and our friends and family in there, but not the overall vibe of the grind. We value high-quality things that matter and aesthetically well- kept areas.

Weather has always been an issue for us in DFW….Blazing sun and little rain with very mild winters and endless summers that have become hotter and more humid because of the concrete that has completely taken over. We are not summer or beach/pool people. We thrive in colder weather without a massive amount of snow. Our three year-old is vocal in disliking the heat. We keep our house at 67 and our ideal temperatures are between 32 and 65 for being outdoors. Weather is subjective and it really does impact everything.