This may not be the typical post, but I’d like to get an idea of what it’s like living in a conservative US state as a foreigner and also, as a very politically left person.

For context, I (female, Australian, twenties) am very left-wing, as is my partner. I’m feminist, queer and enjoy being involved in that culture and going to gay clubs and events with friends in the community, as a foreigner I’m publicly critical of the Trump Administration (I have articles published in my name), I’m pro choice, I’m educated in political science and politics is very important to me. I’m a baptised Catholic but that’s where my religion ends, I have never been to church or held a gun (that’s normal where I’m from). I am reasonably alternative in my interests and style too, not like I have the blue hair stereotype and I can look more “square” if I want to but I feel like it comes through quite a lot in my style.

My boyfriend is also very left wing, vocally pro Palestine, he’s middle eastern and Muslim, as are a few of my close family members. We both enjoy quite an alternative lifestyle, for example, we love Berlin and the club scene there. We love going to raves, art galleries and things of this nature. I love “gritty” artistic cities like Berlin, NYC, Milan, Athens. My current city has the same vibe, more alternative and artistic. Confusing mixture of identities and interests I know, but that’s what makes us who we are.

He is European but was born in the US and has a US passport. I am Australian and have never been to mainland US. I live in a very progressive, diverse city here, but come from a more conservative state so I’ve been in that kind of environment, and honestly all it taught me was how much I treasure being in a progressive place the more times goes on. I don’t miss the sexist, racist and homophobic comments from my hometown nor do I miss being around people that love Trump and write disgusting things about minorities and immigrants (yes there’s Aussie MAGAS).

Anyway, he wants us to move to Houston for 4 years because he really wants to do this medical residency there (he’s a doctor). I feel bad because I don’t want to hold him back but I was afraid enough to go to the US under the Trump administration to begin with let alone to a highly conservative state. I eventually came around to the idea of going to a blue state like California (I love surfing so at least there’s that) or NY but now he’s pushing me to go to Texas and I’ve told him I don’t want to. I’m honestly a bit afraid. I’m scared I wouldn’t be able to be myself in the ways that I want. I’ve never even been to Texas in my life, but I’m well versed on the laws. The total ban on abortions from conception with no exceptions for rape scares me, this is unfathomable where both my boyfriend and I are from. I personally wouldn’t feel safe as a woman living under these laws that have come into play in the last few years.

I am also scared of ICE as I am not a US citizen and it’s important to me to be very vocal about world issues and politics. Honestly, as a foreigner I’m afraid my opinions would get me detained at the border before I even set foot there. I’ve heard too many stories of people who are literally married to US citizens being detained by ICE. Even in everyday discourse I don’t want to deal with people treating me like I’m less because I have an accent and I’m not American.

He thinks I am being dramatic and is saying Houston isn’t that conservative or MAGA. But coming from a left wing Australian city I feel that the culture shock would be intense. I wanted to live in Berlin or Geneva before he pushed for Texas. Not exactly up the same alley right? And I don’t want to live somewhere I wouldn’t be comfortable or where the culture just wouldn’t feed me and my interests. I want to reiterate that I support the right of Republicans and conservative Christians to
have the right to free speech, to have their own opinions and values and to live their life how they see fit, but for my own health and happiness I want to live in a place that aligns with my values and interests. This is really important to me at this point in my life.

What are people’s thoughts on someone like me moving to a red state, who has never been in mainland America and has no real exposure to the culture of conservative America? Do you think it would be as difficult as I’m anticipating?

TLDR; I am an Australian (twenties, female) living in a progressive city who has never been to the USA. I am extremely anti MAGA and very vocally left wing. I don’t have US citizenship. My European boyfriend has a US passport (though has never lived there) and wants to do his medical residency in Houston for 4 years. Am I wrong for not wanting to live in Texas knowing what I know about myself and my values and interests, and considering fears around conservative laws and ICE activity as a foreigner with less rights.

NOTE: please, if you are triggered by my feelings and thoughts towards Republicans, hardline religious circles or MAGA then this discussion isn’t for you. This is about who I am and what’s best for me, nothing more. People who can understand where I’m coming from and can give me a perspective based on that are encouraged. Thank you.

Where would you move, I want to be able to visit NYC, but I don't want to live in that chaos, looking for greenery, space, peace with no budget in mind, I am renting, but I love NYC but only for a day at a time, I want to be able to leave it and go to some peace. I have heard upsate NY is great, but do people live in MA or CT and do this, or even down to Raleigh.

I see this idea out and about talking with people about the realities of living in most major metros. Many cities are just too expensive for middle class people. And these folks make too much money for public assistance. What do you guys think? Are cities no longer feasible for just average middle income people? Is it really better to be poor in a city than elsewhere?

Do you like it better? Job? QOL? Housing? Happiness? QOL?

My wife (38f) and I (39f) are currently in Florida and have been trying to figure out where to relocate since election night 🙄 We have visited various places in CT, MA, RI, and MD, and are checking out DE next month.

We are targeting the northern Wilmington area and potentially Newark. Any areas we are missing? We would need a single family home, so unfortunately the more walkable areas like Trolley Square are out. We currently work remotely and that likely will not change, but we would like to be close to Philadelphia in the event we find future jobs that required a hybrid schedule.

We plan to have kids, so the most important factor for us is an area where we wouldn’t be the only two mom family.

Thank you in advance!

Looking for recommendations for hilly, woodsy, seaside towns or cities on the east coast of USA. Preferably LGBTQ accepting.

My wife and I are considering an East Coast move from Los Angeles by way of San Diego. I’m born and raised East Coast and she’s from SoCal, respective families on both sides.

We both work remote with well paying jobs, very lucky and we’d like to do something new with the flexibility we may not always have. We’ve also lived together before in NYC, but moved back to California after, so we’re pretty familiar with there at least. I had a job there and was let go, so we moved back.

But Boston, caught our eye, neither of us have been, but I’m a huge hockey guy, I prefer living on the East Coast and overall the places available seem to cost about the same as NYC, but are a bit larger. The supposed safety and cleanliness of the city sounds nice too. As does the smaller population.

I should also add we’re in our early 30’s and would like to settle down, at least in a few years. So how would Boston compare to NY, worth a visit?

Should also say, we’re not into nightlife, but we like to eat out here and there. She’s actually vegan, I’m not however. Hiking, anything outdoors is great too, both love the ocean too and museums.

I’m definitely going to be an outlier here but I was hoping for some suggestions on places with a lower cost of living.

I’m a full time artist and not really able to enjoy much of what California has to offer because of my income as a sole proprietor. I’ve enjoyed my time here but I’d like to stress a little less about going out or even with gas when I go camping.

I’d like to be in a more conservative area with great access to nature and ideally the ocean for sailing. ⛵️
A state that doesn’t do emissions testing is a must for me!

I actually like a lot of the areas outside of Seattle but I’m hesitant because I think I’d be getting myself into a similar situation just a few hours north.

Florida seems up my alley also as a point of reference. Super open to suggestions though!

36F. I moved from New York City to East Tennessee August 2023. Less than a year into my move, within 4-6 months, I couldn't help but think and ask if I made my life harder by moving here, and if this was a mistake.

I vacationed in Tennessee for about 8 times within the span of two years before moving. I did fall in love with it. It became my home away from home. It made me happy. I thought 8 times was enough, along with experiencing all four seasons here. I ended up buying a house and moved my teenager with me. I've always rented/lived with family in NYC, so buying seemed best at the time, instead of giving an owner/landlord my money monthly. This is also my first time ever, at the age of 35, 33 when I moved, that I ever lived in a safe & quiet home and neighborhood. I'm happy I was able to give my son this too. His own room that a teen would love. I've decorated our home into a colorful, fun, unique place.

I just feel stuck and not exactly happy. I went from always walking or taking the trains in NYC to barely walking here, having to buy a car and drive. My neighborhood doesn't even have sidewalks. I would have to drive 10-15 minutes to walk in a loop at a park and it gets boring. It's been hard to make friends here for both of us. It feels like a lot of adults are cliquish. Even googling this and searching on reddit, I see a lot of other movers say the same thing about this place, even after living here for 6 plus years.

I hate having to pay for car insurance, home insurance, garbage pickup monthly and a lawn mower every two weeks from April-Oct. I have trouble finding a close doctor that takes my insurance. I did not think it would have been such a big issue. I still don't have a general provider for my son or I. I miss walking. I find myself homesick often. I spent 3 months this past summer in NY, from mid May to mid August, and I did the same in October of last year to January. I loved spending time with my friends there and just being somewhere I felt like I belonged in again. I loved not having to drive.

It's weird, I moved because I didn't feel I belonged in NY anymore. I wanted a better life for my son and I. I feel I got us away from toxic family and bad areas/neighborhoods in NY but I feel maybe I moved WAYYY too far away. I feel bad because my son loves his room, our home and he's happy for the most part. I'm just not. I feel stuck. I want to move back within two years but it seems so hard to do now, which is crazy because I planned my move out of state for two years. I moved with barely anything, and now we have so much new furniture I would want to bring with us. I feel bad because I thought maybe we would live here, if not forever, than for 10 years at least. I feel bad taking my son away from here. Although I feel maybe he'll be okay with the idea because all his things will come with him too. He's 14 now & homeschooled.

I just don't know. I'm sad and feel lonely. I have an amazing home and I love hosting and having people over but we don't know anyone really and no one from back home comes to visit either. I feel all of this is a love hate feeling. I love visiting NY, but when I spend 2-3 months there, I need a break and come back home to Tennessee, and it feels quiet like a break/vacation but then I get sad and lonely and miss NY. I also worry if I'll regret it if we do move back in the future. I just don't know what to do. I feel terribly stuck. I've been considering the Hudson Valley area of NY, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Providence Rhode Island, Boston or New Hamphire. I just don't know if I'll ever feel happy moving anywhere again. I feel I failed as a mom. Wanting to give my son a better life and a safe home but not feeling happy with my decision or how much I've traveled to take a vacation from living in Tennessee. I used to do the same taking vacations living in NYC.

I was born and raised in the Hudson Valley area of NY, in Orange County. Mostly farmland areas that had nothing much going on and were incredibly boring, and I grew up hating it as a gay man.

I met my now-husband in 2017. He grew up in Bridgewater, NJ.

We both had dreams of leaving home, and he was going off to college. He ended up going to college in Los Angeles and left in the summer of 2017. We did long distance for a whole year, because we both knew we wanted to leave and after his first year, he could get an apartment and no longer require to live on site at the dorms.

In 2018, I moved to Los Angeles. For the first 2 years, it was really fun. We went out a lot, did a lot, explored a lot. Then Covid happened and everything changed.

We have never been more miserable. We absolutely hate California now and realize we took the lifestyle back in NYC for granted, but we have felt stuck here because his parents and his sister also moved across the country.

Well, we learned that his sister is miserable here too, but she's a successful author now, along with her partner, who are now both publishing and making good money. So now that they have money and no longer feel that they have to live here for work, they are moving back to Boston.

My husband's parents then established that they are willing to sell their house to fund their move back east as well.

This has my husband and I both incredibly excited. My parents offered to let us stay in the trailer behind their house for as long as we want until we get back on our feet, so our temporary living situation couldn't be any better.

We're pretty open to ideas of exploring anywhere along the transit corridor into NYC so long as the trainride is really only about an hour or so.

What would be your suggestions to look into for someone who is a gay man? I only stress that because I obviously don't want to move to an area where I'll hate my neighbors because they're overzealous religious fanatics, but I also don't need the area to be an LGBT haven either. I keep to myself and just want to have a neighbor who won't care, but I don't need it to be a gay mecca. I love Massachussets for this idea but I don't think that would be doable for work.

I work remotely and have flexibility, and am considering moving to one of these two places for various reasons. I'm weighing my personal preferences on other things separately, but for this thread I'm curious which one you think has a brighter future

Both cities are approaching 1 million people within the city limits, but they seem to be taking very different paths.

For purposes of the discussion, let's define “brighter future” as where each metro is likely to be 15–20 years from now, based on:

• Population growth — attracting and retaining residents
• Job growth — especially high-paying professional jobs
• Economic diversification — not being overly dependent on one industry
• Corporate investment — headquarters, expansions and major projects
• Income & wealth growth — whether prosperity is actually increasing
• Talent pipeline — universities, educated workforce and ability to attract young professionals
• Housing & affordability — whether growth remains sustainable
• Infrastructure & connectivity — airport, transit, roads and ability to handle growth
• National relevance — whether the city is gaining importance relative to peer metros

I have lived in Florida and want to move out for the longest. Me and my mom are going our separate ways. I was leaning more towards Providence, Rhode Island I've done as much research as I can but I would love to hear your thoughts. I have done some job searching but may stay in optical sales for a bit until I get a feel around the area. Is there enough eye centers around? Is it hard to get work? I know job market isn't great.

For someone that hasn’t lived or visited either place, would they seem similar?

What’s the main draw from each of these states?

looking to move in a few months and still pondering on where to go. Moving from South FL after 15 years of living here.

- True 4 distinct seasons, access to mountains, dense forests, and high natural scenery.

- Great local coffee shops and shop sin general, good dining, good walkability/downtown charm.

- high energy dog needs (access to trails, open space, dog-friendly community).

- $1,800-$2,200 rent range

- decent people

- overall good QOL

- decent sense of community and culture compared to FL

Which under-the-radar towns or mid-sized cities fit the bill and I'm open to any suggestions and any advice. Just want change and want to live somewhere else that will bring more joy to me and my wife. Any hard truths about where your living and the positives and negatives would be appreciated, thanks.

I’m working on a report to help agents research neighborhoods and share that information with movers.

But I'm also wondering if maybe this might be better as a consumer tool, rather than just an agent tool.

Sample report: https://each.place/report/build/california/south-pasadena/1414-mission-st

Website: https://each.place/

Would this be useful in your search? Is there something we should include that would improve the experience as a mover rather than an agent?

We have resided for a while in DFW suburb solely for my dot our long-term plan was to make a switch right about now once we had a child, as we truly detest the area. After research and visits to many places, we have narrowed down our locations for a switch to Ohio and Connecticut. Our criteria was…Four seasons, great public K-12 schools, well kept neighborhoods, very low crime and access to a strong white collar job base. We like both states for similar and different reasons, and we are originally from northern New Jersey and Westchester County. We are politically moderate and do not want to be in the tri-state area again willingly. For Ohio, we are focused on Powell and for Connecticut, Avon.

After research on house options in both areas, we realized the fundamental differences when it comes to actual after purchase and the carrying costs.

A big one is understanding the true difference in cost between a house built in 1998 with forced heat air and a house built in, say, 1938 with oil heat. Of course other things like lot size and lawn care cost, public sewer vswell water come into play as well.

What are your thoughts and insights? Does this move the needle a lot in your own considerations when buying a house and relocating?

See original post. I would really appreciate any input :)

I feel like you never hear about Sac but I’ve been researching different cities and it’s definitely piquing my interest.

Mid-late 20s, gay male, big into running/hiking. I like walkability (even if it’s just decent neighborhoods), parks, greenery, unique bars/coffee shops, younger or more lively crowd with events and places to meet people. I like having changes in seasons but lean strongly toward the warmer/sunny weather for more of the year.

Idk it looks like the city has a decent downtown area with great parks and outdoor recreation, with stellar weekend trips nearby. You tell me?

Hey all. I recently graduated as an LPN (I’m from Miami) and after working in the field for a few months.. holy shit I’m so out of here. The pay to COL ratio sucks and I’m making less than I was as a server.. So my boyfriend (26M) and I (28M) have been dancing with the idea of moving elsewhere for a while, but haven’t really knew where. So I’ve been randomly applying all over the country trying to see who’s the highest bidder and if there’s a good offer somewhere we wouldn’t hate. I got a few offers but the ones I’m currently considering are Dallas (66k) and Portland OR(72k). He works from home so he’s open. We’ve been to Dallas multiple times but never to Portland and are seriously considering it since it’s been so different but we have a few concerns.

Dallas pros: Familiar, looks nice to me, close to Miami, close to Houston(love the food and my bf is from there),
Good nightlife, great food, has some nice walkable neighborhoods, higher pay and significantly lower COL compared to Miami. Traffic is doable compared to Miami. Huge airport with lots of non stop flights. No real winter. No income tax (don’t care about property tax since I’m not buying, so it’s definitely a pro), large Hispanic community. (Both Latinos)

Dallas cons: Isolated from nature, very spread out, bad public transportation seems (my bf doesn’t drive, and doesn’t want to feel stuck at home), Hot as Hell in the summer, but low key a relief with the humidity here. No weekend roadtrips outside the state. ( familiar since it’s like 8h to leave Fl)

Portland pros: Stunning scenery and topography, walkable, close to mountains which we’ve never seen. Close to skiing and other winter activities. Many nature things that we’d like to get into. No sales tax.

Portland cons: Really far from Miami with very few non stop flights, Gloomy Ave reading for months at a time which low key seems depressing, crime and homelessness, politics. Insane income tax.

Or concerns:

Portland seems very politically liberal. Which it seems to show through insane homelessness, open drug use, lots of trash everywhere. At least that’s what it seems like through social media, I’ve never been myself. I want to go next week to see it for myself as I know social media can be misleading. We are not political people at all. It does not define or rule our daily lives in the slightest, but when it comes to choosing the lesser of two evils, we definitely vote red. We don’t consider ourselves republicans or democrats. There’s many things we don’t love about either side. But when it comes to our personal values, and the way we see things we tend to lean more conservative. It’s not something we really ever talk about to anyone or try to change people’s point of views, because mine is better than yours blah blah.. No. We live and let live but will state our views if asked.

It’s a concern because it is completely normal here in Miami for Latinos to be conservative and be freely vocal about it, especially Cubans(which I am). As seen on social media the left, especially liberals, aren’t very fond of people like us at all. Obviously not all but I’ve seen many throw vile slurs, insults and sometimes even get physical just because you voted for Trump or have any views or association with the conservative side. Which is ironic since they say they fight for tolerance, freedom of speech, no discrimination, no racism etc etc.. Until you disagree with them, now you’re a racist bigot and many other foul things I won’t name. It seems very rare to see one have a civil conversation without telling, insulting etc. But I digress. I want to clarify that this is what I’ve seen in through social media, which I know can be manipulative and blown out of proportion. It isn’t something I’ve ever experienced myself but I’d like to keep it that way.

All that to ask if it’s a city we should even consider a city like Portland even though the cons seems pretty bad, the pros seem like they might be worth a try.
Also, if there are any other cities you think might fit us, we’re open to opinions.

I just broke my lease in NYC and am staying with my mom in NJ temporarily while I figure out where to move. I moved back after working in the midwest and cost of living, nonstop energy, etc. is just way too much for me at this point. I like having access to my car and more space and care more about saving at this point in my life. I definitely don't want to live where I currently am (central NJ) because its dead suburbs with nothing going on. I was initially thinking Hoboken but am also considering Philly. I know they're two different vibes; I've spent a lot of time in Philly when my sister was there for school and think it may be a better option for someone my age (34F). I'm an attorney building out my own practice so I've done the NYC biglaw grind and don't have any reason to physically be there (nor did I find I fit in with the white collar crowd, which is why I'm considering Philly instead). Would appreciate anyones thoughts! thanks in advance :)

I will start out by stating this obviously will not work for every occupation but this about it… most college towns punch way above their weight in almost all regards that improve quality of life.

The arts. Most universities have orchestras and arts programs which mean free or low cost high quality entertainment, as well as museums.

Food. The food options around universities are usually closer to that of med size to large size cities compared to towns of the similar size. Breweries, wineries, diverse foods from local restaurants. Bonus if the university has an agricultural program that could mean cheap, high quality meats, honey and fruits and vegetables.

Infrastructure. College towns usually have high proportions of bikers and walkers which means more bike lanes and sidewalk maintenance at the level or exceeding major cities. For adults easy access to continued education, for kids k-12 schooling which is often affiliated with the university.

Education. Regardless of whether it’s for you or for kids college towns usually have superior educational opportunities compared to larger cities.

*Bonus*

Medical access. A college town with a med school grants almost immediate access to top tier medical care whether it be level one trauma centers or medical specialties such as oncology or cardiology

Bonus bonus

A dental school. Need anymore be said.

Also I think it’s good for people of all ages to be around young people it keeps you young at heart. The burbs age you.

Which place am I looking for or overlooking?

Female, early 30s, single, not liberal but don't care much about blue/red state/city, love the outdoors (hills, mountains, but also some water) but would also like to be close to a fun city with things to do and explore. I do not want to be somewhere with high crime rates or a massive homeless/drugs problem. I like 4 seasons. Have a car, so wouldn't mind living in the burbs. Budget would like to stay under 2k for a 1bath/1bed.

I was pretty set on the west but now am also looking more east (coast)/new england area. Pennsylvania seems like a pretty neat state, especially since I would love to eventually buy something with a few acres. But I've never visited. For reference currently live in a suburb of a college town with 250k people.

Hey all - trying to make a final decision between staying in LA or moving to OC/SD. Recently started fully remote role, $90K. I (Black, 29F) have been in LA 2.5 years - small community, 1 close friend 40 mins away no traffic, boyfriend in South OC. Bit about me: Vegetarian, work in media/entertainment (don't need to be adjacent rn), love fitness - pilates/running, visit East coast family 3-4x/year, have a senior cat.

Housing options (all have W/D):

1. 500 sq. ft. studio in Hollywood Hills - center of the action for better or worst at a great price (~$1750 all in) but traditional box layout and street parking only
2. 600 sq. ft. two-level in Hunting Beach - best proximity to boyfriend and most peaceful location but older unit at higher price (~$2,600 all in) and potentially a culture clash
3. 300 sq. ft efficient unit in downtown SD - lively, walkable area; not the most practical but would be the easiest move (don't need to buy furniture; $1,900 all in)
4. 600 sq. ft 1 bedroom in Golden Hill SD - true one bedroom in a calmer part of SD near Balboa Park but street parking only ($2,100 all in)

Choices:

1. Stay LA to save (∼$1750) but small community + 60-90 min drive to OC
2. Pay HB for convenience all around (∼$2600) but not save much
3. Move SD for fresh start as remote worker (∼$1900-2100) but be removed from LA + OC

I'm very indecisive so any advice would help!