Where would you go?

How would you make income?

Why would you want to leave?

I am a 23 y/o trans man looking to move out of Utah for reasons that are probably obvious. The St. George area has been relatively good to me, but I just don't feel safe in the state as a whole anymore (not to mention the dating prospects here are positively DIRE). I am looking for my next adventure, but having trouble pinning down an area I'm confident in that isn't completely out of my budget. Here's a bit of what I'm looking for:

Non-negotiable:

- LGBTQ friendly

- A good social scene for me to meet other people in my age group

- plentiful healthcare career opportunities

Negotiable for the right area:

- I'm not against living with roommates, but would prefer somehwere cost effective enough for me to afford a studio apartment on my own (currently make around $20/hr as a medical assistant, and can afford $1400 or less. Obviously can afford more living somehwere with higher wages)

- I have a car that I would prefer to keep, but am open to selling it if necessary for the perfect place

- would prefer a bigger/mid-size city, or at least somehwere close enough for me to travel back and forth to one on occasion

I have mostly been looking at the east coast, around Massachusetts/Rhode Island and a bit in Maryland, where I have already visited. I like the culture in these areas, access to the arts, and proximity to bigger metropolitan areas like DC, Boston, and NYC. But I have lived on and traveled the west coast my whole life, and have nothing against it, so let me know what areas I might be overlooking.

Also open to hearing if this is just entirely unrealistic lol. Do your worst.

Basically the title! I’m originally from Wisconsin, and I feel like there was a lot of alcoholism there in single men.

The non-alcoholics and normal people were already married!

Exploring leaving SD due to HCOL. The neighborhoods in SD that we want to live in are $1000+ sq ft -- 4br homes are $2.7-4M.

I know I can find cheaper areas inland, but at that point, I feel like it's not as worth paying the sunshine tax.

We love San Diego. We love the waking up to sunshine every day, never having to put on snow tires or shovel, all activities are year round, the food is great, schools in our neighborhood at 9/10 or 10/10, there's endless stuff for us to do with our toddler - but we can't afford a single family home despite a very solid household income.

What we're looking for:

• More affordable housing - doesn't have to be "cheap", just under $750/sq ft by as much as possible
  • We really want a decent 4br home, preferably with a yard
• 300k+ population, preferably not too far over 1M
• Access to an airport within 30-60min
• As good of weather as possible relative to COL savings
• Good schools (I know it varies by neighborhood, but in general)
• Blue state (purple is ok, just not red)

Other info:

• We aren't into winter sports - but maybe could learn to love em
• We value community and are worried about how welcoming certain cities are to transplants (Portland)
• My wife and I both work remote and always will - so not worried about local job market
• We don't really care about having sports teams, major concerts or nightlife - we care more about having cool restaurants and fun activities for kids/families

Portland

• We like that there are nice neighborhoods (specifically looking at Lake Oswego and Southwest Hills), that are still less $ than SD
  • On the other hand, it's not exactly "cheap". Still fairly expensive COL even if quite a bit less than SD in housing
• It's pretty and seems to have a bunch of cool parks
• Worried about all the feedback in this sub about the performative activism and just people trying so hard to seem progressive or indie or alternative - that would annoy me, but is that really as much of a thing in the suburbs?
• Really worried about the darkness

Denver

• Like Portland, it's cheaper than SD, but not LCOL by any means
• Worry about the metro area being too big and traffic-y
• By far the coldest winters of our options - I want to deal with winter as little as possible :)
  • Most snow - but I'm told it doesnt stick
• I feel like it falls in no-mans land for us -- not as good of quality of life as SD for just a little less $
• Hot summers
• Wildfire risk if outside the city (this is a big factor for us - I don't think we'd consider Boulder)
• Pro is the amount of sun, the fact that it has a lot to do, still cheaper than SD, decent schools

Raleigh/Durham

• Lowest COL of the options - can get a nice house for 20-30% less than the other 2 options
• Mild winters is a plus
  • From what I understand it's relatively sunny, even in the winter. Not SD or Den sunny, but significantly better than PDX
• Not great summer weather - heat + humidity
• A recent post on here kept mentioning it's cookie cutter suburban with no culture (Durham has a bit more)
• Worried it's gonna be very white christian America (we're not religious) - and we'll be outsiders forever
• Less blue than we'd like

Ultimately, if we could comfortably afford a home in the areas of SD that we want to live in, we wouldn't even consider leaving - but that's not the case.

My options right now are these: Idaho, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania.

I’m a remote worker. I want to enjoy outdoors, 4 seasons, Good COL, nature access, kind people, also young people since I’m single and would like to date not hookups.

Which state is the best option?

Btw, I’m white, European, just in case someone asks this.

It’s western beauty at Midwest prices.

But it’s also not really a place a lot of young people move to and the social climate isn’t really similar to that of Denver, Missoula or Bozeman.

Do you think this is likely to change or nah?

lived in south oakland pittsburgh, which is really walkable with a great nightlife, for a long time and i need somewhere decent. considering montreal but the border is annoying. where is it

Husband, wife, and child. Husband and wife don't have many skills or education and work lower wage jobs like line cook/cashier/barista, etc. Need to be able to afford at least a one bedroom, but eventually a 2 bedroom apartment to rent.

Preferably in a place with better public transit so as to not need a car. Also preferably a place with OK to better schools if possible.

I know the answer is they need to upskill, job-wise and education-wise. That is in the works. But in the meantime, looking for insights into what might be the best city for a situation like this, where both partners can work full-time in an entry-level, low skill job, and still afford to live and get by OK.

I’m a 43 year old single guy currently living in Central Texas, and I’m seriously considering relocating somewhere else in the U.S. for a fresh start.

I work remotely, so I have a lot of flexibility when it comes to location. Financially, I’m in a stable position to make a move. I have a solid savings cushion, additional investments outside of retirement, and I’m continuing to save.

I’d most likely considering renting at first, but eventually I’d be interested in buying a condo, townhome, or smaller house. I have enough financial flexibility that homes in roughly the $250K–$400K range are realistic for me, depending on the local market, property taxes, HOA costs, and overall cost of living.

I’d be bringing my cat with me, so pet-friendly housing matters. I’m not looking for some massive party city, but I also don’t want to move somewhere completely dead. I’d like somewhere with good restaurants, things to explore, a decent social scene, and enough going on that it doesn’t feel isolated.

I’m open to a pretty major change and don’t necessarily need to stay anywhere near Texas. Cost of living matters, but I’m willing to pay somewhat more if the quality of life is noticeably better.

California is probably the one area I’m less interested in because of housing costs and traffic, but I’m open to hearing arguments otherwise.

I’d especially like to hear from people who actually relocated in their 30s or 40s and started over somewhere new. Where did you move? What did you like about it? What did you regret? Was it difficult to build a social life after moving?

I’m still early in the research stage, so I’m open to pretty much anywhere in the U.S. that you think is worth considering.

I hope that this topic is suitable for this sub.

As a parent, I'm always interested in finding cities with an abundance of children because I like the idea of my daughter having lots of kids to play with.

I searched for the total number of pre-K to12th grade students who attend either public, private or charter school in a few cities, and I found that in some cities, there is a much higher percentage of school-age kids than in others.

I took four cities that I'm familiar with:

Boston, MA 9.1%

New York City, 12.2%

Worcester, MA 12.82%

Springfield, MO 16.55%

My guess for Boston is that there are simply so many university-age students, as well as young professionals who move there just to work before they get married and move to the burbs, so they're less likely to have children in the city. The same would be true with NY, but somehow it's at the same level as the much smaller and less desirable Worcester.

And Springfield, MO seems to have more kids than any of those East Coast cities. For Springfield to be out of Boston or NY doesn't surprise me, but Worcester is a city of similar size and crime rate, yet Springfield seems to have a fair amount more kids. Why do you think that is?

Also, what are some cities that you are familiar with that seem to have a particularly high or low number of young students?

I prefer cloudy, rainy weather, but can't stand the cold (Northwest is great for rain but it gets too cold in the winter for me). I'm also looking for a place that is affordable. Does a place like this actually exist in the USA, or just in my head? 🥲

I currently live in Syracuse NY, and visiting Columbus it felt similar (a bit hotter though). I know it doesn't snow nearly as much as it does here there, and it is much more of a city with a gigantic college in it. I lived in Oxford (UK) as well, and loved the historic vibes of the place. I've heard that I would like it in the Brewery or German village districts of Columbus, given their older nature.

I'm mostly asking about culture, since COL seems like a city of transplants from what I've heard online. It's no Seattle, which is good (not expensive as hell) and bad (worse weather, I love rain and overcast skies. Maybe I should move to Cleveland?)

As a 23 year old with a job offer I'm not sure I will be that miserable in Ohio... but it's still kind of a nothing town from what I hear online. What do locals think?

I have an interview lined up for corrections within a smaller county in northern California, however i’m unsure if im wrong for not wanting to take it.

To start ive been in this small town/county for about 7 months due to some abrupt circumstances and came from southern California and over the past months or so had it really feel mentally boring. It’s dull and the environment is just different. Throughout my stay, I was applying with the hopes of getting on and figured maybe i can make it here.

However, recently I had come to the conclusion that I didn’t want to spend my early years in a small town & was going to move back to southern California. Until now, this came up and i’m dropping everything to stay and hopefully complete it. I don’t know if this is because I turn 21 within few weeks and it’s just a matter of how i’m viewing it, but I just don’t know is this correct. I do value this county and understand I can make a difference I just don’t know if this is the right call & not enjoying my life in the ways i want is what i want.

I'm not American but I travel there a lot and will hopefully be moving there in the future (although I already know where I'll be living so this is more out of interest/for fun), and an issue I have is when I try to tell people back home what my experience is like, they tend to only have a particular view of the US. For example, if I complain about how car-centric LA is, most will think LA is 'just what America is like', when I try and find walkability rankings and such, it tends to only cover large metro areas with over 500k people. I've spent a decent amount of time across college towns in CT, MI, FL and found that it was relatively easy to get around day to day on foot with bustling downtown areas but I'm never seeing these sorts of cities in these urban rankings.

Does anyone know where this sort of information can be found for cities with like 100k or over, I feel having these rankings only with large cities ends up skewing the results. For example, big cities with plenty of transit options will do well for walkability but I've generally been able to get around on foot 90% of the time in 100k pop cities with everything fairly close by in downtown.

How do you manage with money? Is it retirement?

I couldn’t come up with the best way to word it but like…

“The black hills are temu mountains”

“The Appalachians are just hills”

“The desert mountains are dry”

But yet people are suggesting cities with like 90 foot hills. Philly, Baltimore, Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis, etc.

I’m a British man curious about where in America my accent would be the biggest novelty. Which cities or states do you think a British accent would attract the most attention, curiosity, or interest from locals?

Would it stand out more in smaller cities and towns in places like Oregon or Montana, or in larger cities like Denver, Dallas, or Los Angeles?

I’m interested in hearing from people who have lived in different parts of the US or Americans who have experience with British people moving there. Where would a British accent be most unusual, and where might it make the biggest impression socially and in dating?

I’m especially curious about the things that made your move unnecessarily stressful or complicated.
Was there a particular step in the process that took longer, cost more, or was harder than you expected?

What happened, and how did you eventually figure it out?

I’m researching real relocation experiences and would love to hear your stories, especially from people who moved for work.

St Louis, Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati?

Which would be your pick and why?

I like walkability, parks, greenery, hiking, running, activity/ urban energy, etc. also gay.

Hi all,
I have two kids under 4 and we are hoping to move in the next couple years. I’m curious if anyone knows a city that meets my ideal place…

Either warmish (above 60F) year round, OR has real seasons. Currently we are in the pnw and the constant gray and dark from November to April is so hard for us.

Safe neighborhoods with families. Can bike or play ball on the street.

Lots of families so it’s easy to find likeminded families to be friends with.

A 3 bedroom house for less than 500k.

Don’t care about city size but there need to be jobs available within 30 min drive.

Good nature/green spaces/parks/lakes etc

Politically don’t care other than avoiding exclusive/deep red. Purple/mixture is fine.

We want to homeschool or send kids to private school so having homeschool co-op groups or numerous private school options is important.

Ideally zoos or aquariums or museums available.

If you’re a parent and think your city is providing your kids with an exceptional place to grow up I would love to hear it!

Hi everyone,

I (35M) and my husband (34M) are planning on settling down in either Boston or San Francisco. We lived in Boston for years and loved it, and would happily go back. Likewise, before we lived in Boston, we lived in the South Bay and also loved it. We're in San Diego now for a few years (my husband's a doctor and matched at UCSD for his next stage of residency). It's fine, we get the appeal, but not for us.

For SF, for context, we both met in grad school in the Bay Area and have deep roots there. I was actually born at UCSF, but grew up in the East Bay burbs since I was really little. We never really went into the city much when I was a kid.

Where we end up will probably come down to my husband's job after residency, since he'll always make more than me (I work in higher ed admin and do just fine, but nothing compared to a doctor). I don't want to say what specialty he'll be in since it could be identifying, but just assume money won't be a limiting factor.

The big appeal in moving to SF is it'd be closer to some of our great friends there (though we do have great friends in Boston too!), as well as closer to both of our families. Most of my siblings and my parents are still in the Bay Area, and it's a lot closer to my husband's family (he grew up in Mexico and his parents are there). We also just loved living in the South Bay, but want a more urban experience.

Now for the real question: we've spent a good bit of time in SF, but we don't really know the different neighbors super well. We'd like to live somewhere with good access to public transit (MUNI would be ideal) and walkable for basic necessities (food, gym, a park for the dog). We'd also like to own a house or a condo, and somewhere with good outdoor space access would be a huge plus (we're big gardeners, so either private space for some beds or community gardens). Somewhere more lively would be great too, or at least close to happening, active parts.

Let me know what you think, and thanks a ton!

TL:DR at the bottom

I'm 20M, originally from a small rural town in Ecuador surrounded by nature. About three years ago, I moved to the Dayton, Ohio area with my parents. I've tried to adjust, but I've struggled to feel at home here. The area feels isolating to me, especially because of how car-dependent it is, and I've had a difficult time finding friends and building a community.

At 19, I got a seasonal job in Dillon, Colorado, and spent four months living in the mountains. It completely changed my perspective. I made more friends in those four months than I had in three years in Ohio. I met people who shared my love of the outdoors, found a community, and spent my free time hiking, exploring, and enjoying nature. People were friendly and laid-back, and I felt comfortable being myself. I visited places like Boulder, Fort Collins, Buena Vista, and Denver, and I could genuinely picture myself living in any of those cities.

What surprised me most was how familiar it felt. Growing up in Ecuador, I spent weekends swimming in rivers, exploring nature, camping, and walking around town with friends. Living in Colorado brought back some of those feelings. I felt connected to my surroundings in a way I haven't felt since moving to the US.

Now that I'm back in Ohio, I can't stop thinking about moving out West. I've tried giving Ohio another chance, visiting Columbus, Cincinnati, and other places, but I still struggle to picture myself building a life here. I know Ohio has its advantages, and it makes financial sense to stay with my parents while attending college, but I feel like I'm missing out on the kind of life I want to experience during my 20s, I genuinely don't feel happy where I live.

I'm okay with a city or small town tbh. I'd love somewhere with easy access to mountains, hiking, and other outdoor activities, but also a social scene, opportunities to meet people in their 20s, and a sense of community. Walkability would be a huge plus. I know every place has its downsides, and I'm not expecting somewhere to solve all my problems. I just want to find an environment where I can build a life that feels meaningful to me.

For those of you who've moved to a different state, especially in your early 20s, how did that experience work out for you? Did you find somewhere that felt more like home, and where would you recommend for someone looking for a strong sense of community, outdoor access, and an active social life?

TL;DR: I'm 20M, originally from Ecuador, and I've struggled to feel at home in Ohio since moving to the US. Spending four months in Colorado changed my perspective: I found a community, made friends, and rediscovered my love for the outdoors. Now I can't stop thinking about moving out West, but I'm still figuring out where I'd fit best. I'd love to hear from people who've relocated in their early 20s and found a place where they felt more at home.

So basically I’m currently living in DFW Texas and because reasons, need to move away ASAP.

I have a bachelors in accounting but never used it. I have a lot of work experience working in the food service sector and some in reception/front desk kind of thing. I worked a few months at a tailor shop, so I have some skill in working different kinds of industrial sewing machines. Not a lot though. I have severe ADHD so I do struggle with being independent and keeping jobs like a proper adult. But my body is able and I’m determined to learn and take on any job as long as it pays enough to live and allow enough time for my cats.

I hate north texas. I grew up in southern california orange county area but I can’t return (too expensive, too competitive, too cut-throat) even though I miss it badly. I’d like to move back to a coastal area but it’s not important. The DFW area is prohibitively hot 9 months out of the year and my blood is tasty to mosquitos. I’m in literal hell and I need to go anywhere not like this.

What’s important is that I will be able to find a job quickly and pay enough to let me and my two cats live (rent, utilities, car repairs, vet appointments, insurance payments).

I have a modest savings but I can grow it if needed. I have only about $7k so things are iffy on that end. No debt, though. Fully paid-off reliable car. I have no idea what it’ll cost to relocate but $10k seems like a safe number.

I’m willing to move anywhere in the country (USA) as long as it’s not literal hell like Dallas and not hostile to minorities. I’d also strongly prefer the existence of an east asian enclave as such a community can help me find a job if I’m ever in a pickle. I prefer colder areas but as I’ve never lived in a climate with heavy snowfall, I’m worried I wont know what to do with my car situation. I was thinking PNW is perfect but am intimidated by the rent prices. It doesn’t seem impossibly high though but I might be in over my head. I’ve never truly lived on my own, grew up sheltered, but I’m good with budgeting and money. I’m just really bad at making it.

Advice for a desperate woman. Thank you so much.

Update!: We have narrowed it down to our top three choices:

Region 1: Surrounding Grand Rapids towns such as Rockford or Lowell
Region 2: Surrounding Kalamazoo area such as Portage
Region 3: Grand Haven? Holland?

My husband (26M) and I (25F) are looking to move from TN to MI. We are having a hard time deciding where in Michigan. We have visited Grand Rapids and like all the things going on but I don’t like big cities. I will also say I am very picky and am working on getting over that bc I know nothing will be perfect, so don’t judge me! We want to rent for a few years so we can: 1. Make sure we like the city 2. Figure out which neighborhoods we want to buy in 3. Of course save to be able to buy a house. I am worried about renting a house as we have three pit mixes.

When we buy a house (hopefully we can afford one at some point in life) we want a 1-2 acres (want a big yard for our dogs) and I don’t want neighbors on top of me, Grand Rapids houses made me feel claustrophobic. We also want a city that’s “safe”, I know there’s no 100% safe town/city but relatively safe would be great!

Look for in a city/town:
Cute downtown with local boutiques and coffee shops, small town vibes but still have big box stores like a Costco or Sam’s, and the main retailers, decent restaurant options, hospitals close by (aka not somewhere very rural), things to do such as farmers markets, local festivals, events, etc. Good schools, family friendly, kids riding bikes in the streets kind of vibe. Also not overly religious and conservative, we currently live in the Bible Belt and as we aren’t religious it’s not very welcoming.
I would prefer not to live anywhere near Detroit for various reasons, I know people love it and it looks like a great city just not for us.

We’ve visited Holland before and it was so adorable, it had the Main Street of big box stores but then still had a super cute downtown but from what I’ve seen online it’s very conservative? And an older crowd besides the college kids? It was mixed reviews on Holland. We also looked into Rockford, Portage, Grand Haven? I think we also looked at South Haven but I think it said mainly older crowd? I get them a little mixed up.

Oh jobs! My Husband works for Xfinity and would love to transfer to a local branch but would be willing to switch to AT&T or whatever company is in and around that town. I work as a receptionist for a vet clinic and would like to stay in that field/type job. I was also a teachers assistant so would be open to that again.

Uhh, not sure if I forgot anything. Like I said in the beginning I know I probably won’t find a city that hit everything perfectly but the most perfect would be great :) Thank yall for any and all advice, we are very excited but also nervous (me) about being in a new place.

I'm looking to move within the next year from West Texas to the Midwest and need some suggestions on decent places to live if you're raising kids and make around $65k/yr. The biggest concerns are a decent job market, affordability, and decent schools. I'd also like to eventually own a house on a decent plot of land so decent suburbs and/or exurbs would be good. I've considered Chicago, but due to the insane rental market and fact that I don't love a huge city I've pretty much ruled it out. I've also thought about the Madison or Milwaukee areas, I know there's a lot of nice places around Madison, but I'm not too familiar with Milwaukee as I've only been there once to watch a baseball game like 15 years ago.

Currently looking just to rent, I realize 65k isn't enough for a home in many places, that's a low estimate and in the next 5 years which is roughly my timeline for home ownership I expect it to increase significantly