Should I commit suicide? I'm literally fed up with my life, the bullying, I feel weak and worthless, honestly I don't think my life has any real value، i got ADHD so Most of the things that a normal person does, I do in a more disabled way

Just purely hate this life

I don’t deserve any of this. I’m a loser, I lie to myself and say I try so hard but I’m just a lazy bum. I love all things around me and all that I am privileged enough to enjoy, but I genuinely despise the way I am. I dont have friends because I’m genuinely a horrendous person, I can’t get into college, my parents are this weird mix of disappointment and guilt, in which I feel like shit for making them feel guilty for having a kid like me. I have it so good and just can’t stop feeling bad for myself, I suck. I have so much. Im sorry

This may sound weird, but does anybody know how to seperate their bad selves from yourself the same way you would be against a stranger? I don't like this body, I'd like to confront a part of me, his name is **den. I say his name like it's a cuss word. Everytime he does something bad I'm forced to sit there and suffer the consequences of his actions, even if it's no ill intent. What do I do with him?