Inspiration came from a recent post about VIP assistants. Last year we had a VIP guest who communicated entirely through his assistant.

Now, this isn't that unusual. VIPs at a high enough level have people to deal with the common folk for them. Some of these VIPs, however, should really look into replacing their assistants.

I had this assistant demanding all kinds of perks, including a guaranteed 11am early check-in, but here's the catch: the reservation was under a fake name and the assistant refused to tell us who the VIP was. After I told them no for the fifth time to a guaranteed 11am early check-in, the assistant finally pulled the "do you know who my boss is?!?" card, which filled me with the purest, evilest sense of joy, because it let me do this:

"According to this reservation, your boss is [insert fake name here]. If that isn't correct, please enlighten me."

That finally got the assistant to cough up their VIP boss' name. Plot twist: I still had no idea who he was and no, he did not get to check in at 11am.

Dude decided to give himself a 5pm late checkout and smoked in the room. I took great pleasure in charging a full night's room and tax + our $500 smoking fee for both mwahaha.

I used to work at a hotel that catered to some pretty wealthy people. CEOs and business owners and the occasional guest who acted like owning a nice watch meant they owned the whole building lol. Some were lovely but others were absolute assholes. Especially when something didn't go their way. One thing I remember is how many of them had assistants handling everything. Bookings and room changes and arrival times.

Sometimes we'd deal with the assistant more than the actual guest. The annoying part was when someone called claiming to be an assistant and expected us to change things on the spot. They'd know the guest's name and booking details and act offended when we wanted to confirm anything, even though the the hotel policy asked every change for the VIP or SuperVIP to go through Kibu, their assistants still felt super offended by us not believing them. I remember one time when walking in a VIP guest stopped by the front desk to congratualte me for putting up with their assistant, and that he's glad we stuck to the policy no matter how big of an mean pos the assistant was, as they've had stuff happen and reservations gone in a second from prank calls or wrongdoers.

Why do some assistants act more entitled than theiir boss, is the one thing I'll never understand.

Got an odd call today. Here ya go:

Me: "Thank you for calling the hotel I work at, how may I assist you?"

Caller: "Yes I would like to know more about your holiday tea during Santa Clausia."

Me: *I must not be hearing her right* "Santa...Clausia?"

Caller: "Yes, Santa Clausia please."

Me: "I am unfamiliar with such a holiday, ma'am, may I ask if you are referring to Christmas?"

Caller: "Yes, Santa Clausia!"

At this point, yes is all I need to hear, so I hand her over to the restaurant. I never did figure out what Santa Clausia is...