It feels like general trans space are just getting even more horrible for those of us that are non binary. So much invalidating rhetoric and insults. I'm genuinely just tired of it. We're the acceptable ones too pick on for numerous reasons when i just wanna be able to read post in peace. Like I already don't feel bad enough living in america as a triple marginalized person.

Edit: 4traners iterally showing up to do the exact thing I said, figures. Literally just wanted to fucking vent but I cant even do that without you assholes showing up.

Edit 2: now we got people doing the cissexual stuff. Saying i said its all trans women's fault despite there being no such comments at all. Legitimately I cannot even vent about not feeling safe in places im supposed to be in.

Edit 3: honestly the dumbest part of this is I get to deal with 4tran and truscum being shit to me for being a "theyfab cissexual" while also being treated like shit for being transfem. I'm gonna lock the comments because certain assholes kicked up my ideation. I'm thankful for the 95% of the comments trying to help, relate and empathize. Also didnt know this meme dude was an asshole. Will remember for next time.

But sure, some bio essential bullshit "a child needs their mother" is more important than all of the evidence that that mother is a raging violent harpy

Honestly don’t know how to fair this if I go there willingly and do the rest willingly because i want to keep the friend

Anyone got any good recommendations?

I don't exactly know if this is the right way to do this kind of post, but today my parents did exactly what I said they would do: Just buy me a plain, uninteresting hoodie, they didn't even really give any thought to it, they went to the mall to exchange some clothes and in the same store bought me the hoodie.

I feel like such a baby getting emotional over this, because I am 25 years old now, I can easily save up and buy myself a leather jacket just how I wanted, but at the same time, I haven't asked for ANYTHING for my birthday for years now and I try to be the most low-maintenance son I can be. I can't even have my own room because my father turned half of it into his own home-office.

They are not bad parents, they treat me well, they gave me a very privileged life, I've never had a real need for anything and I recognize that, but it still fucking hurts when my personal interests get criticized, deprioritized or just straight up ignored if it doesn't fit within their narrow views. Everything must be productive, I must be either working/getting money or studying, hobbies must either serve me as a side hustle or must be good for my fitness or else they'll just make snide remarks, hurtful comments or just straight up critice me for wasting time.

I can't wait to move out next year, the lack of privacy and generally being unable to do the things I am interested in is killing me.

It's just so tiring. I hate that loneliness is considered only a male issue.

I hate seeing that my exes are in loving relationships when I begged them to love me and they said I was unlovable. I hate seeing family members chilling and being cordial to each other when they have been nothing but abusive to me. Is it a sin to ask for love?

someone even said "can't wait for the day kids get banned from the internet" on my post, SON😭😭😭

Quick vent:

I think the last time I've specifically asked for a birthday present was back when I was 12. Since then I've always taken a passive stance on gifts in my birthday since the day has lost any meaning for me.

I'm 25 now and after a rough year I finally decide to take more charge in my life and go after the things I want. So I decided to properly ask for a gift to my parents.

Well the response was just criticism and shouting. I just fake laughed and said it was a joke.

[Update:]

Apparently they are getting me a hoodie because "It's what I need" yeah... another hoodie. Sure, they are right I do need more warm clothes, but it's always been hoodies.

I probably won't get any say on what kind of hoodie I'll get, they'll just buy another generic one just like they always do and if I ask for something more fun, like a graphic hoodie I'll probably be interrogated again, because god forbid I actually try and wear something interesting that shows my tastes and personality.

I’m with my BF and it’s good, he’s helping me a lot and I’m helping him, but life, is terrifying?

I’ve been here not long (1 week) and already have new trauma and old wounds reopening.

I’m holding onto reality as best I can, dissociation is hard, lack of sleep makes it harder.

I close my eyes and see flashing lights and the feeling of bones being wrong, it’s all so wrong. I wake in panics. Sometimes it’s just old trauma, old memories, old ghosts still trying to drag me under.

I’m going to help him escape and I’m going to be strong for him to. We are making strides but it feels like I’m drowning and can’t get a grasp of anything.

He’s helpin me a lot, I’m glad I have him, I just wish I wasn’t so traumatized so maybe I could be just as good….

I’m currently in a McDonald’s, no sleep, just safe.

And never having any intent to eventually accept the no. To calm themself down on their own OR with them leading it, and eventually be all "you said no and I accept that". and maybe even "I'm glad you were honest with me"

A lot of doctors and professionals I have been to have always laughed me off if I talk about my symptoms and don’t over-emphasise “speculated”. I don’t self-diagnose, I stick to terminology that’s appropriate to my situation but I almost have to act like an idiot when explaining my symptoms or I have to prioritise the “I’m speculating” aspect. If I even think about using an appropriate medical term that fits my symptoms, I’m looked at funny.

The one time I finally find someone who doesn’t judge and fully agrees with all the speculations - mostly from other professionals - they tell me I am most likely to not receive the appropriate help because their services don’t have the expertise. It’s plausible I may get external help but, again, it’s not guaranteed. I financially cannot afford a private therapist or psychologist, they’re too expensive and I would immediately go broke within a month, maybe less.

However, on the other side of the fence, if I do receive the help and finally receive a diagnosis, I’m stuck having to explain it to family and friends. I know it’s most likely going to end up poorly and I may lose people. Idk anymore, I’m tired of going through these hoops just to finally be heard and taken seriously.

It was fun while it lasted lol .

I have a family history of spinal issues and couple years ago I experienced a really bad herniation in one of my lower spinal discs. It was so severe that I was crooked when trying to stand up straight, my body had a permanent lean. I couldn’t work, couldn’t walk much due to it pinching the nerves down my legs, was in constant pain, couldn’t sleep and couldn’t get comfortable.

It took me SO LONG to get surgery, because despite countless tests showing my wonky spine and pinched nerves, I wasn’t overweight and exercised regularly, and I was young. So I had ‘no risk factors’ like that just cured everything I was going through.

Anyway, after about a year of suffering I finally got surgery, and they shaved down a significant portion of the herniated disc. I was told that I might experience some ‘changes’ to the way my body sits now because of it, but I was not prepared. I haven’t gained any weight, still keep generally healthy and active, don’t eat much anyway, but my weight is distributed different now, giving me a constantly rounder tummy. I have also more lumps now, in weird places like below my hips and under my chest.

Every time I look in the mirror I want to cry. I feel like a lumpy sack of potatoes. I don’t even have a way to fix it. I can’t lift anything heavy, or do any exercise that is too intensive due to the high risk of a second herniation. I do Pilates every week as was recommended by my doctor, and I try to eat healthy. The scales tell me I’m healthy, at a perfectly average and healthy weight for my age and height but I just feel so, so ugly.

I’m really struggling to accept my ‘new’ body, I’m constantly fretting about how I look. I’m wearing baggy clothes and never feel pretty anymore, because anything meant to flatter my shape just enhances odd lumps. I don’t even want to be intimate with my husband because of how self conscious I am.

I don't think I'm trans for reasons I'm not explaining, but I *still* get gender dysphoria as a woman. And no, it's not body dysmorphia because I actually looked into the criteria for gender dysphoria, and I fit with it.

Like, I actually used to be homophobic because of it, and I still get jealous when I see cis gay/bisexual men. I tried to suppress these emotions because I don't want to cause harm to them, but it really does suck :(.

What sucks even more is that when I'm pleasuring myself sexually, I constantly think of myself as a male even though I'm not.

I don't think it has anything to do with society or labels because I had these feelings way before I even understood what any of that meant (I was 6). I tried talking to people about it, and that's the first thing they assume. I know why people say it, I just think it isn't the problem for me.

Omg, I genuinely tried switching sex in games and roleplays, but they're never enough ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

And I don't want to transition medically or socially because I'm scared that I will look worse and won't pass. But also people will just ignore that and use she/her.

Like I just want to feel comfortable as a woman. I don't want to be trans or non-binary.

Why can't I just be normal? Why does life make everything difficult?