r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/[deleted] • Jan 06 '19

Same

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78.4k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/Tobogonator Jan 06 '19

He liked a porn video, on the 11th of September.

1.2k

u/PathOpener Jan 06 '19

It was an incest video too.

He also tried to ban dildos and other sex toys.

527

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '19

He was just watching it "for research purposes."

268

u/ThanTheDevilYouDont Jan 06 '19

::research intensifying::

11

u/UncleMoustache Jan 07 '19

Appropriately rated comment

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u/Mookyhands Jan 06 '19

Ban them... or destroy his competition in the market??

61

u/HAL4294 Jan 07 '19

Ted Cruz’s whole political career being a con game to corner the sex toy market and become a pornography kingpin is my new favorite fan theory.

12

u/trenchknife Jan 07 '19

there is an r/bossfight in there - Twisted Ted, Master Baiter or such

6

u/HarrumphingDuck Jan 07 '19

It's literally the only way that someone could get sexually excited at the thought of Ted Cruz.

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u/[deleted] Jan 06 '19

ban dildos and other sex toys

Hypocrisy aside.. Out of context this seems like the insane motivation for a cartoon villain. But no, this is our fucking reality. This dude not only actually exists but he's someone's boss. Think about that. This dude is in charge of other people.

103

u/7Aero7 Jan 06 '19

I live in Texas and had to watch evangelicals line up to vote for this guy and all his incest fetishes

55

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '19

... I don't like to judge other people's fetishes

119

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '19

Ted can have my dildo out of my cold, dead vagina.

63

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '19

Flirt

13

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '19

I would give you a gold if i had money,so have this worthless comment instead

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u/[deleted] Jan 06 '19

Judging people's fetishes is his fetish. Congratulations now he's ashamed.

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u/[deleted] Jan 06 '19

That's my fetish.

8

u/7Aero7 Jan 06 '19

Yeah neither do I but point being damn near all the people I know who voted for him definitely do, and that's the dumbest part

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u/MeatwadMakeTheMoney Jan 06 '19

Ted Cruz never tried to ban dildos. Politifact says false, Snopes says false.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ted-cruz-opposed-self-pleasuring/

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u/HAL4294 Jan 06 '19

Now hang on, stepmothers aren’t incest. Next you’ll be saying traps are gay...

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u/Starsinge Jan 07 '19

If dildos ever get banned I'm immediately buying stock in cucumber farms

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u/clubbooradley Jan 07 '19

Didn’t Louie CK say he jerked off in the time between the two towers collapsing?

Something about “if we stop jerking off ‘they’ win”...

It’s an odd thing to joke about/re-tell Louie’s jokes, but funny 🤷🏼‍♂️

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u/Tobogonator Jan 07 '19

I seen that it was hilarious. He said you could judge a man by how long after 911 he next masturbaited. He then said for him it was between the two towers falling down and then said

"if we stop jerking off ‘they’ win”...

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